A Pack of Wolves: Yale

 

3.

It didn’t take long to meet the whole gang. The Wolves, as they called themselves. Yale was amused, but getting tired with all the attention as well. He longed for a peaceful moment on his own. He could escape and tried to hide himself by the table in the courtyard. He opened a soda bottle and drank slowly.

 

It was funny, to have these men around. Most of them were very interested in him. He looked exactly like Lin and appeared to be single. Almost too good to be true. And it was indeed; it was too good to be true, because Yale didn’t want a relationship. He didn’t even want to have sex with anyone, male or female. He tried it, before. It had been a disaster.

 

Yale shivered with the memory, and tried to shake it off. The voices started to fill his head.

He turned, and bumped right into something large.

 

“Careful now, beauty,” said a gentle, dark voice right in front of him.

 

Yale frowned. He saw nobody…

 

“Right in front of you, darling.”

 

Yale looked around, but still couldn’t read anybody. There was only a voice, in his ears,

and not in his head. There were no colors, no emotions, and no thoughts… “Who are you?” he asked quietly.

 

“My name is Nico, baby. And you are?”

 

“Yale,” said Yale absentmindedly.

 

“Hello Yale,” Nico said. “Are you okay?”

 

“I don’t know…”

 

“You look quite pale, babe. Maybe you should sit down for a moment?”

 

“No,” Yale shook his head. “Do you mind if I touch your forehead, Nico?”

 

“Go ahead,” grinned Nico.

 

Yale pressed his fingers against the forehead, and focused. He concentrated to see the eyes, even held his breath, but he couldn’t make any contact at all. “Thank, you Nico, I think you’re right. I need to take some rest.” He quickly walked to his brother.

 

Lin smiled at him, when he approached him. “Talk to me,” he grinned.

 

“Who is that? What is he?”

 

“That’s Nico, my brother. Nico McNichol. Why, having trouble?”

 

“Have you ever tried to read him?”

 

“Oh, yes. I’ve read every Wolf. They can’t be approved without my mental check.”

 

Yale thought about this. “Is Nico a Wolf?” he asked.

 

Lin chuckled. “Clever. No, Nico is no Wolf. He is a brother, though. He’s our photographer and cameraman. He has made us the way we are, in a way.”

 

“How come we can’t read him? I can read everybody! And so can you! How is this possible?”

 

“I don’t know, Yale. But there are in fact people we just can’t make contact with.”

 

“He has to be feeling something, he must be thinking! I tried very hard to get in touch, but he’s just invisible! He’s no entity to me!”

 

“Confusing, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah,” said Yale. “And you are enjoying it, aren’t you?”

 

“Oh, yes. It will be good for you, to talk to someone instead of reading his mind.”

 

“It will be something new, indeed,” muttered Yale.

 

Nico avoided Yale, and walked to Lin. Yale didn’t see him. That was a little surprising. “Lin, can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure, Nick. Talk to me.”

 

“Yale… Why is he looking at me like that?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like he doesn’t actually see me, or something.”

 

“Very good, Nick!”

 

“What?”

 

“He can’t see you…”

 

“He can’t see me,” Nico echoed blandly. He wasn’t blind, was he? He could somehow see everybody else...

“Yes,” Lin said with a slight shrug.

 

“How come?” Nico asked, surprised.

 

“Because Yale doesn’t see with his eyes. He sees with his mind. He can’t make contact with you. Neither can I, remember?”

 

“Yes. How could I forget.” Nico had wanted to become Wolf, but Lin always said ‘no contact, no Wolf’. He knew Lin was only teasing, but it kept him from being approved and that wasn’t funny at all. He didn’t often come to meetings, since Lin had told him his little ‘joke’. “Okay, so you two can’t read my mind,” he said, trying to understand.

 

“Yes. I don’t really care, because I can see you nevertheless. But Yale is blind.”

 

“Hm. Gosh.”

 

“It’s very confusing for him… Give him a little time, okay?”

 

“Hm…” Nico looked in Yale’s direction. “Should I give him time?”

 

“Oh, Nicky,” grinned Lin. “I can’t read your mind, but I do know what you’re feeling. You find him the cutest, right? Admit it!”

 

Nico actually felt a blush coming up. “Oh, yes, he’s very cute. And he looks far too much like you. And he’s coming right at me, now… Hello, Yale.”

 

“Hi, Nico.”

 

Lin smiled and said he had to welcome some guests. He didn’t even try to sound truthful. He left the two alone.

 

“Did Lin tell you I can’t read you?” Yale asked, looking calm without knowing where to turn his white eyes.

 

“Yes. He told me you can’t see me.”

 

“Yeah. That’s true. I can’t see you at all.”

 

“But what do you see then? Really nothing? Just black, or something?”

 

“Just nothing, Nico. Just an empty space… Usually, people are colorful shapes around me. You’re simply invisible.”

 

“That’s too bad, isn’t it? I would like you to see me. I really would like to know what you think of me.”

 

“I’m blind,” smiled Yale apologizing. He shrugged. “This is very new, and very odd.”

 

“It’s okay,” said Nico with a shallow sigh. “I think you’re very attractive, Yale.”

 

“Do you?” grinned Yale. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

 

“Well, yes. But nothing new, I bet every man here finds you gorgeous.”

 

“Mm. You’re right. But you’re the first to actually telling me.”

 

“I’m the first one you can’t read, hm?”

 

“Oh, yeah. You have to tell me everything.”

 

“You have to ask me, if you want to know something…”

 

“Yes… That’s so strange… I do feel emotions, though.”

 

“Of course. They’re your own.”

 

“Are they?” asked Yale surprised. He bent his head and looked at his stomach. “They are, indeed. That’s funny. It tickles!”

 

“It does?” smiled Nico.

 

“Yes… It’s like my stomach is twisted in a knot. It’s like my head is filled with a warm fog.” He looked up, and tried to focus on Nico’s eyes again, without success. “I feel prickling in my whole body…”

 

Nico swallowed with difficulty, and made a quick decision. He took Yale in his arms and kissed him on his lips.

 

Yale held his breath until Nico let him go. He breathed out. “Oh,” he sighed. “What was that?”

 

“A kiss, baby,” said Nico softly. “A loving kiss. Did you enjoy it?”

 

“Oh, yes… I think I really enjoyed it. Are these really all my own feelings?”

 

“Yes. But I assure you, I feel the same.”

 

“Do you? How can I be sure?”

 

“You can’t, baby. You can only kiss me, hold me, and feel my body. You have to learn a whole new language, to read me, Yale.”

 

“What language is that?”

 

“Body language,” grinned Nico. He pulled him tightly in his arms. “God, you’re so gorgeous… Can you feel how hot you make me, you stud?”

 

“I can only feel how hot I am,” sighed Yale.

 

“Feel my crotch, baby. Can you feel it against you?”

 

“That? Hell yeah, I can certainly feel that!”

 

“What does it do to you?”

 

“It makes me want to grab you…”

 

“Good. What do you think I’m feeling right now?”

 

“I don’t know… I hope you want me as much as I want you…” Yale slowly licked Nico over his mouth, only knowing where to touch because Nico quickly leaned within reach.

“I can’t believe these are all my own feelings,” he said softly.

 

“Oh, but they are, baby. There’s nobody else in your head than you.”

 

“I want to you to come inside me…”

 

Nico chuckled. “Mm… That sounds so tempting! But I can’t come in your head, babe. I’m sorry.”

 

“Damn, for the first time in my life I actually want someone to enter my head…”

 

“Well,” sighed Nico, “Sorry, you’ll have to get in touch with me the human way. By talking to me.”

 

“Okay, but how can I know you’re telling me the truth? I mean, how will I know if what you tell me is indeed what you feel?”

 

“You will get to know me, and learn to trust me, eventually.”

 

“How long will that take?”

 

Nico grinned at him, something Yale couldn’t see. “It might take years, darling.”

 

“I don’t want to wait for years,” Yale muttered.

 

“Wait for what?”

 

“For… Oh, you know.”

 

“No, I don’t know, Yale. You have to tell me, I can’t read minds.”

 

“I’m getting tired with all this talking,” grumbled Yale.

 

“Oh, you poor boo-boo,” mocked Nico. “Get some rest then, and come back to me when you’ve got the energy for it.”

 

Yale frowned. “Are you mad at me?” he asked.

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re whining like a little kid, Yale. You just told me you were feeling hot and you wanted to grab me, and now you nag about how you can’t read me.”

 

“I–”

 

“Yes, you. But me too, Yale. I’ve never read any mind. I’m as blind as you. If I can live with it, so can you. If you don’t want to get to know me the human way, then go away and leave me alone.” He started to turn. “Oh,” he added, “And that means I don’t want you to follow me unless you want to talk to me. Alright?” Nico greeted a few Wolves, took his bike, and drove off.

 

Yale was very confused. Disturbing emotions were raging through his body. It made him furious. If only he knew who was giving him these feelings, he would knock him down.

 

It’s you, Yale. You are feeling angry, and sad… You upset Nico, and all you wanted was to understand him.

 

Yale sighed and turned to his brother. Help me, please, Lin.

 

“Let’s get indoors, Yale,” said Lin. “Let’s talk this over.”

 

Yale went inside. Lin closed the door behind them.

 

“Do you want to use your voice or your mind?”

 

My mind. Talking is tiring me.

 

I know. But it’s the normal way to communicate with people, dear. Nick was right about that.

 

Yes, he was right. He was right about everything, and yet he said he couldn’t read my mind.

 

He can’t read minds. But he can read your body language, and your expression. Most people can do that, you know. You think we’re blessed with a special gift, but in fact, we’re blind… The normal humans are gifted!

 

Bodies and eyes tell lies, Lin.

 

How poetic. Yes, that’s true. Minds can’t tell lies. But do you really want to know the truth all the time?

 

Of course. Don’t you?

 

Lin grinned at him. No. I often enjoy the bliss of ignorance. And you know you would enjoy it too. You can’t love anyone because you always know the whole truth.

 

Yale groaned. Yes. He stood up and paced up and down for a while, ordering himself. I wonder how it will be, to sleep with Nico…

 

Lin laughed aloud. You should try it! But you’ve just spoiled your chances. He was willing to fuck you, you know, when you asked him to enter you.

 

I know…

 

He wanted to come inside your body…

 

I know!

 

He wanted to give you so much pleasure, my brother, he wanted to love you and make you squirm and moan…

 

“I know! Stop it!” Yale pressed his hands against his ears, but he couldn’t stop Lin’s voice in his head.

 

And you just chased him away. You wanted to have him, and yet you were scared.

 

“Shut up, Lin… Please…”

 

Finally, you had the chance to enjoy yourself, without being disturbed, and you were afraid of it!

 

“Yes! Yes, I was scared! I was afraid to lose control!” Now STOP IT!

 

“It will take time to win his trust, Yale. You’ll have to talk a lot, now…”

 

“I don’t like talking. It wears me out.”

 

“You’ll get used to it. You came here to learn, and you have a reason to learn quickly, now.”

 

“I came here to get some rest in my head.”

 

“It will be a good start to learn how to communicate, with your voice and body. Practice on Nick… Maybe the reward will motivate you.”

 

“Yes, alright. Can you please leave me alone now? I really need some rest.”

 

Lin stood up. He focused lightly on Yale and frowned. Nick was right about that too; you’re a whining kid. With those words, he left Yale alone.