Growing Up Lynch
Bunny
Bunny
Renee – 24
Azrael – 8
Azrael really didn't mean to. It was an accident. Honestly. All he wanted to do was play with his new baby bunny. All he wanted to do was hold her tightly in his arms. She was so soft and furry and warm, alive and real. The way she'd snuffle against his neck with her squishy pink nose always made him giggle 'cause it tickled. And when she'd root around in his hair or bury herself beneath his shirt, he'd marvel at how sweet and innocent she was.
He only wanted to hold her.
He didn't mean to kill her.
He didn't mean to hold her so strongly in his arms as to suffocate her. Cause her tiny little lungs to struggle for air. Cause her to panic in terror as she felt life slowly leave her. Cause her heart to give out and brain to shutdown as her tiny body finally succumbed to darkness.
He only wanted to protect her. To love her.
But he loved her too much, too hard; he only succeeded in destroying her.
And no matter how much he begged or cried or screamed for her to wake up, she stayed quiet and still in his arms, eternally silenced.
After he and his family bury Bunny in the backyard, Azrael retires to his bedroom though it was hardly past afternoon. He just wants to be alone somewhere where he could freely cry his heart out, berating himself all the while for his stupidity.
He can't believe how retarded he was! Or how dumb he was to have not noticed! She was in his arms! He was holding her! He should have seen what was happening!
If he had, he could have saved her.
For awhile, Azrael's thoughts follow this same thought pattern becoming more and more loathsome with each increasing moment. He's disgusted with himself. Angry at what he did. Ashamed and disappointed with his actions.
He should have known better. He didn't then. He does now.
In the silence of his dreary room, Azrael vows to himself that this will never happen again. Ever. Never again will he allow himself to love something, someone, in such a way. To such a fatal degree. Never will he love something in such a way that he'd end up hurting them, breaking them, killing them with his love. No. From now on, he'll keep his distance. He'll be careful. He'll cherish the things he treasures. Take care of them. Nurture them. And ultimately bring them the greatest joy.
Within time, Azrael's much-loved mother enters his bedroom, entering her pretty brown skinned face into his room. Her eyes soften at the sight of him, his face covered in tears and snot, expression oddly blank, and a dull look in his generally lively eyes. She frowns. Whispers softly, "¿Mi hijo? Are you alright, baby?"
Like a machine on auto-pilot, Azrael nods an affirmative.
Renee's frown grows deeper and she steps fully into the room, taking a seat by her son. "It wasn't your fault, baby. Just an unfortunate accident. Coulda happened to anyone," she tries to soothe.
It is his fault. Azrael knows it. Yet he doesn't say it because he knows his mother will deny it. She'll try to cheer him up. She'll say it was "an accident" again. Even though she knows it's his fault, too.
Renee sighs and holds her arms out in offering, saying, "Give me a hug, quierdo."
He does. Slowly and carefully so as not to hurt her.
End 3
*Word Count: 594
*Unedited
Mi hijo: My son
Quierdo: Love (masculine)
If I'm wrong, let me know!
Chapter 4: Sooooooon
WTF. No idea what happened but I just got hit with a major dose of emo. This is in a different style than the previous ones but I think it fits the flow better.
Anyway, it's kind of a good thing I wrote this, as emo as it was. One of Az's defining character traits that I absolutely REFUSE to change is that he will NEVER harm someone he claims to love [Relationship-wise. His siblings and Hanny are fucked in that department. XD] This story kind of illustrates why. He learned early on in his life to be extremely careful and watch his strength around people and animals precious to him.