Just To Make Things Worse -- Complete

Chapter 3, wee hee! Read, love, review, thanks!
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“You haven’t told him.” Riley watched David pace around the basement. It was very late, or very early, depending on how you looked at it. David had come downstairs and had not bothered to sit down. Neither of them had spoken for a long time. Now that Riley had broken the silence, David stopped pacing.

“No.” David lit a cigarette and offered the pack to Riley, who shook his head.

“You don’t trust him?”

“I do. But things have been hard between us, and Lucas is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Riley.” David sighed and began pacing again. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“But you’re lying to him. You realize that, don’t you?”

David nodded. “Of course I am. I can’t tell him, Riley. I’ve tried.”

“What are you so afraid of? That’s he’ll leave?” Riley stood up and made David stop pacing. He put his hands on his shoulders and squeezed. “I’ve seen the way that guy looks at you, David. I think he’ll be able to deal with this.”

“I don’t know if I can deal with it.” David snapped, pulling away. “I wish you hadn’t found me.” He said bitterly. “I wish you’d just stayed away from me.”

“You don’t really mean that.” Riley said softly. “You need me, David. At least for this part of it. You won’t do it on your own.”

David studied him, his eyes wary. “What are you going to do?”

Riley shrugged. “What needs to be done.” He said vaguely. “I want you to be happy, David, I really do. But after every thing that’s happened between us-“

“Riley, it was a long time ago.”

“It wasn’t a long time ago!” Riley snarled. “It was five years. In the grand scheme of things, David, five years is nothing, a heart beat.” he was looking at David disgustedly. “And no matter how long ago, it doesn’t change anything that’s going on right now. And what’s going on is you’re fucking up the only good thing you’ve ever gotten in your life.”

“I’m not trying to. I just can’t do this.”

“Then leave him.” Riley said simply. “Those are your only two choices. Either tell him the truth, or leave him. You told me about your promise to him, to each other. No more secrets, right?” David nodded. “Don’t fuck up someone else’s life just because you can’t deal with your own.”

David stubbed his cigarette out in the ash tray. “You know, I’m starting to think you’re lying through your teeth about your intentions on this. You don’t want what’s best for me, you just don’t want to suffer this alone.”

Riley hit him.

The blow caught him high, near his left eye, splitting the skin against his cheekbone. As soon as it connected he knew he’d probably have a huge shiner by tomorrow afternoon. He caught the edge of the couch with both hands before he fell, and after a moment he straightened, pressing one hand against the blood on his face.

“I’m very close to killing you.” David said, surprisingly calm considering the situation.

Riley ignored the death threat. “David, before I leave this will all be over, one way or the other.” He sat down on the couch. David didn’t move. “You shouldn’t have any disillusions about my intentions here. I’m not trying to break you and Lucas up.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“You’re lying to him. It’s as simple as that.”

“You know, some people believe that not every single aspect of their pasts has an impact on their future.”

Riley rolled his eyes. “You mean to tell me that what happened didn’t have an impact on you?” he jumped to his feet again. “David, it turned you into a fucking monster.”

“And I’ve spent every single moment of my life with Lucas trying to change that. I’m not perfect, but I’m not who I was before.”

Riley shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” David finally looked at Riley again. “Don’t you understand? Lucas is the only thing that matters.”

Riley smiled, but it was just a humorless twisting of his mouth. “Well, aren’t you so fucking lucky to have found that? Too bad you’re too stupid to see that you’re risking all of it to hold onto a secret we never should’ve kept in the first place.”

“I’m going to bed now. I have to get up early and take Anna to pick up the rest of her things.”

“Speaking of Anna.”

David scowled at him. “I thought I told you about this.”

Riley rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, David. There’s something about her.” He smiled. “Maybe it’s because she reminds me of you.”

“Don’t. Please.” David hated to admit it, even to himself, but there were certain things that he felt he absolutely had to protect Anna from. Mostly it was getting her heart broken again. He supposed most of it was the guilt he carried around, the knowledge that he’d taken Lucas from her, even if it was only for a short period of time, and effectively destroyed any chance she ever had with him. It didn’t matter that Lucas had figured out his sexuality before David had even come along, he still felt guilty about it.

Riley sighed. “David, you can’t stop me if I want to go after her. You know that, right?”

“You don’t even like girls.”

“I like to try new things.”

“I’m asking you. Please. Leave her alone.”

“We’ll see.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter either way. “Go up to bed now. Go think about what you’re going to do about this little problem.”

David turned to leave, then stopped and looked at Riley. “How long?” he asked. “How long until you decide for me?” he sounded bitter and tired.

Riley shrugged. “When I get bored. Before I move on, this will all be over, one way or another.” He blew David a kiss.

When David was gone, he laid back down and stared at the ceiling. He knew that what he was doing was wrong. He was forcing David to pull out his innermost self and examine it, to show it to the one person he loved. David wasn’t ready to deal with it, but Riley was going to make him anyway.

And if David couldn’t do it, if he couldn’t expose that part of himself, Riley was going to do it for him.
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Lucas woke up slowly, his sleep soaked mind resisting the fact that his body wanted to move. It took a moment for him to register the fact that he was alone in bed. It took another very long moment to make himself sit up. He fumbled for his glasses and slipped them up the bridge of his nose.

David had obviously been cleaning. The room looked so tidy it was almost painful, considering the clutter and mess David usually left everywhere he went. Lucas glanced at the alarm clock and saw it was nearly one in the afternoon. Lucas got out of bed, dressed, and wandered down the hall into the bathroom.

The smell of cleaning product was so strong he nearly gagged. The floor was still wet, and it looked like he’d actually scrubbed the walls. Scowling, Lucas moved to the sink to brush his teeth. Something was wrong. As groggy as he was, it took a minute for him to notice.

The mirror was gone.

The space where the mirror had been was a big pale rectangle in the paint. Scowling, Lucas brushed his teeth quickly, ran a brush through his hair as fast he could, and stomped downstairs.

“DAVID!” he shouted through the house, storming into the kitchen. “Where the hell-“ he stopped in mid step, his mouth snapping shut.

David was on his hands and knees, scrubbing the grout in the tiles of the floor. He had a long, ugly cut on his cheek, and the skin around his blue eye was puffy, black and purple. His left hand was wrapped in gauze. He sat up on his knees and looked at Lucas.

“Good morning.” He said calmly. “There’s coffee.”

Lucas’s shock broke, and he started yelling. He knew in the back of his mind that this might not be a good time to start yelling, but he was doing it anyway. “What the fuck happened to your face? Have you gone completely insane? What are you doing? Stand up!”

David sighed and dropped the tooth brush he’d been using on the grout into the bucket beside him. He got to his feet. “Lucas, please, just relax for a minute.”

Lucas ignored that. “I was going to fucking ask what happened to the bathroom mirror, but it looks like I already know. What the fuck are you thinking about? You promised to stop!”

“I know I did.” David sounded like a mouse. It made Lucas angrier. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, are you going to fucking tell me what happened?”

David sighed and walked over to him. He put his arms around Lucas’s waist, and when Lucas resisted, he squeezed. “Please.” Lucas relented and hugged him back, and David rested his swollen, aching cheek against his chest. “I’m sorry I broke the mirror. Anna bandaged up my hand and went to buy a replacement already. I just lost it for a moment, okay? I didn’t mean to, and it won’t happen again.”

“That doesn’t tell me what happened.”

David nodded. “I know. We need to talk. Can we go in the living room?”

“Where’s Riley?”

“With Anna.” David sounded suddenly furious, and Lucas stepped back to look at him. David shook his head. “We need to talk.” He repeated. “Come on.”

They sat down on the couch, and David pulled his knees up to his chest and lit a cigarette. Lucas watched him, worried and angry. “It looks like you got punched in the face.”

“I know it does.” David sighed. “Lucas, you and I have been trying to figure out how to live together, how to make each other happy, and so far things have been okay. I know you want me to talk more about what happened to me when I was younger. I know I have… anger problems.” Lucas snorted. “I’ve been really good about controlling that anger. I had a momentary relapse this morning. I punched the mirror out. It was one thing in months. Let it go.”

Lucas handed him the ash tray from the coffee table before he could flick ashes onto the carpet, like he always did. “David, I admit you’ve been great about controlling your anger, but this…”

David shook his head. “No, Lucas. Just let it go. There are more important things to discuss.” He sighed and tilted his head back. “Things are going to start changing.” He whispered, and Lucas realized he was fighting back tears. “Things between us are going to get worse, and I don’t want to lose you, okay?” he looked at Lucas for a moment, then leaned forward and grabbed his hand with his own bandaged one. “But you need to understand that I don’t want it to.” He studied Lucas, saw the apprehension of his face, and said it anyway. “I love you, Lucas.”

Lucas jerked as though he’d been electrocuted and tried to pull his hand away. David tightened his grip, and Lucas saw a tiny red spot bloom on the gauze covering his knuckles. “Let me go.” He muttered, staring at the blood spot as it very slowly spread.

“No. You always get so upset when I try to say that. What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m afraid of you.” Lucas said, and David let go of him. Lucas stood up, shaking. “I’m scared that it’ll make things harder. That word is like lethal injection.”

David stared up at him. “You know, all things considered, you’d think I’d be one with the complex about love.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “You don’t have the fucking monopoly on being screwed up.”

David stood as well. “Oh, no, you’re plenty fucked up. Did you just fucking hear what I said to you? Doesn’t it mean anything?”

“I means you’re going to hurt me.” Lucas said softly. David looked away. “You can’t sit there and say everything’s going to change and then tack an ‘I love you’ on the end like it’s going to fix it.”

“That’s not what I was trying to do. I need you to know that I do love you.”

“Stop saying that.” Lucas pushed his hand against his stomach. “Please, it does way too many things to me.”

David shook his head. “I don’t think it’s fair that I can’t say it when that’s how I feel. I’ve wanted to say it since that fight we got into when I drove you out to that dead zone and punched you in the face.”

“See? My point exactly.”

David grabbed him by the front of the shirt. “Goddamn, Lucas, would you just stop it? You’re so fucked up that you can’t even let go of all that bullshit for thirty seconds.”

Lucas glared at him. “What do you expect out of me? You want me to be all giddy and excited because you dropped the L bomb directly after freaking out and punching out a fucking mirror?”

“YES!” David shook him a little. It was a strange thing to do, considering Lucas had half a foot of height on him. “I’m having a shitty fucking morning, and I’m scared as hell that things are going to go to shit for us. But I fucking love you and I need you to know that, because I need you to fucking see how bad I’m doing right now. I need you to love me back, Lucas. Why is that so hard for you?”

“It’s not.” Lucas whispered. “It never has been.”

David shook him again, harder this time. “Then what the fuck are you doing?!”

“Don’t you think I’m scared too?” Lucas dislodged David’s death grip on his shirt, holding him by the wrists. “I’ve changed my entire life for you, David. I’ve risked everything I’ve ever had, the short list of the people who care about me, all for you. That’s terrifying.” He pulled David forward until he could rest their foreheads together. “It doesn’t help that you said all that stuff about it changing. Things can’t change, David. I can’t handle that. I like us the way we are.” He reached up, cradling David’s face in his hands, and kissed him.

David sighed against Lucas’s lips and put his arms around his waist. His head was pounding. He didn’t want this to happen, didn’t want to hurt Lucas, but he knew he didn’t have a choice. Riley had seen to that. He tried to pull away, to break the kiss so they could continue this horrible conversation, but Lucas wouldn’t let him go. He felt Lucas’s tongue against his bottom lip and opened for him. Their tongues touched, and it seemed as though Lucas hesitated for a moment.

Then David was falling, his knees buckling from the pressure Lucas put on his shoulders, and he hit the couch with a soft thump. Lucas was on top of him before he could think, his mouth crushing down onto David’s, his hands pulling at David’s shirt. David tore his mouth away, turning his head to the side to breathe, and Lucas attacked his neck. “Lucas, wait.” David pushed at his shoulders, and Lucas made a strange growling sound and grabbed his wrists, somehow managing to maneuver them both at the same time so that David was laying down, pinned under him. He pushed David’s wrists up above his head and bit at his throat, and David moaned. He tried to sit up, tried to make Lucas let him go, but his body didn’t want to listen to his brain. Instead of resisting, he arched up against Lucas, who pushed his legs apart with his knees and used his free hand to yank David’s shirt up. He slid down enough to graze one of David’s nipples with his teeth, making David’s hips lift against him. He licked at the nipple he’d just abused, then looked up at David.

“If I let your hands go and you put up a fight again, I’m tying them together with your own belt.” He threatened, and David flushed. “Will you be good?” David nodded, and Lucas slowly released his wrists. As soon as he could use his hands again, David attacked. He shoved Lucas hard, sending them both flying off the couch. Lucas hit the floor and David landed on top of him. There was a brief struggle where David tried to keep a hold on his position of Lucas, but despite the fact that Lucas was built like a scarecrow, he was strong. He grabbed David by the waist, lifted him a little, and rolled. David’s head came within a fraction of an inch of smashing into the edge of the coffee table, and then he was flat on his back on the carpet and Lucas was yanking his belt out its loops.

“Lucas, no.” David hissed, struggling even though he knew it was probably futile.

“You said you’d be good. You’re a liar.” David went nuts, determined to not get his hands tied together. Las time they played this little game he was sore for weeks. But Lucas pinned him down with a knee on his chest, grabbed his arms, and wrapped the belt around his wrists. David bit whatever was closest, catching Lucas’s upper thigh through his jeans. Lucas jerked his leg, putting enough pressure on David’s chest to knock the air out of him, and it stunned David enough to let Lucas finish. The next thing David knew, his hands were tied together and the excess belt was wrapped around the coffee table’s leg. He couldn’t get enough leverage to move the goddamn thing, either, it was huge, and solid oak. He glared up at Lucas, who’d sat back, grinning.

“Lucas, please.” David pulled at the belt around his wrists. His treacherous body wanted Lucas to just pounce on him and have his way, but his brain kept trying to convince it otherwise. “This isn’t the time. Anna and Riley could get back any second-“

“I don’t care.” Lucas leaned over him, brushing his lips along David’s throat. “I had the intention of being gentle, considering the nature of our conversation. But you just had to put up a fight, didn’t you?” he shook his head slowly, as if David’s behavior had disappointed him. “You are in so much trouble.”

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*cackles* Nobody kill me. The next chapter will be full of smutty goodness. I promise.

So. Start the Riley bashing. =)