Untitled

Standing in front of the mirror later on that night was almost like a deja-vu. The only difference being she was no longer in her little black number but clad instead in a pair of well worn blue jeans, a loose gray and blue hoodie sweatshirt, and a pair of dirty white tennis shoes. Not a trace of makeup was left on her face and her hair was pulled up into a messy pony-tail on the top of her head.

She looked more like a teenager dressed like this rather than the sophisticated, polished woman from earlier that evening. As she continued to study her reflection she saw the fear and excitement shining in her eyes.

For months and months she had dreamed of this moment and now that it had finally come all the well-planned out excuses and carefully thought out conversation lines had vanished from her memory. All that was left running through her mind were the memories of that night playing over and over in her head like a movie that kept rewinding herself and starting from the beginning again.

Looking down at her watch she that it was ten till midnight. If she didn't hurry she was going to be late. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure Jon was still passed out on his back snoring away. A little voice in her head told her she was making a big mistake, but she quickly stifled it. Quietly she slipped out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out to the garage where her '95 black Toyota waited for her.

Slipping behind the steering wheel, she took a deep breath. "I'm doing this for closure," she told herself. "Nothing more and nothing less." Reaching above her she pushed the button for the garage door that was strapped to her visor. Slowly she backed out onto the driveway and into the street. Turning the wheels in the direction she was headed she pushed the button one more time. The garage door slid shut as she took off for her destination.

She almost turned on the radio if for nothing else than to break the eerie quiet that seemed to stifle her in the cab of the truck. She opted against it though. She needed time to gather her thoughts together and sort them out. The best way to do that was in total silence.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly with both hands, she forced herself to take another deep breath. "I'm just going to get some closure," she repeated to herself. "It'll all be over in less than twenty minutes and I'll be back home safely tucked away in bed, Jon none the wiser." She knew she was lying to herself though. Once she got there and the minute she saw him she'd forget all about Jon waiting for her at home. Her mind would go totally blank and her senses would go haywire. All she'd be able to think about was being with Jeremy again.

Feeling his skin brush up against hers, his breath warm against her lips as they would kiss. Her arms would wrapp around his neck while she tried to bring herself up closer to his body. He would intoxicate her like a drug and overload her very being with longing for him. She had no control when she was around him. Tonight at dinner proved that.

After all she never would have said yes to this meeting if she had been in any control whatsoever. His presence affected her and her decision making abilities just like it had that night. Just the mere thought of him did funny things to her. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach start to wildly fly about it as she pulled into the parking lot of 'Calloway Park' and slid into a parking space.

"Now you can do this Lily, just remember to breathe," she told herself. "Remember this is just a meeting between two old friends, nothing more and certainly nothing less. You are very happily engaged and you're carrying a child. You are NOT going to do anything stupid. You're twenty-five years old and a very smart young woman. He does NOT control you."

After taking one more deep breath she released her death grip on the steering wheel and slid out of the truck, slamming the door behind her. Standing still for a moment, she let her eyes grow accustomed to the darkness before she began to move forward.