Repitition
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
777
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
777
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Cycle
Chapter 3
He looks at you, smiles and you wonder why he thinks its okay to do that, he asks “where did you go last night, I tried calling you”. You look at him wanting to answer but nothing comes out of your mouth. You watch him rise off the couch and come over to stand up in front of you; you don’t even realize that he is kissing you until you feel his tongue slip inside your mouth. You want to push him away, you want to hit him, but you hold him, pulling him closer to you. You want to feel his body pressed up against you. He smells like fresh flowers, you feel safe, you feel loved, even though this man, your tormentor is the one giving it to you. He stops kissing you, leans in, and whispers in your ear “I’m sorry about last night”.
You back away from him, recalling the events that led you to the bar in the first place. You went to see him because he left a message on your machine saying that he wanted to see you,. When you got to his place you knew it was a mistake but you pushed the buzzer any way, a woman answered the door. You remember what happened after you sat on his bed and started to cry. He bent down and kissed the tears away, then kissed you on the mouth like it was his to plunder, why not he has taken everything else. He pushed you back onto his bed; still kissing your mouth with enough force to bruise, hands caressed you as clothing was taken from your body; your hands found themselves tangled in soft black hair.
You felt his lips move down your throat, soft bites making you moan, you don’t want this, you can’t want this, but you need this. Tears begin anew, it seems crying is the only thing you do. He looks into your red, tear streaked eyes, with a smile on his lips leans over to say “I love you, only you, just you, never forget that”. After he was done with you, you went into his liquor cabinet, opened a bottle of scotch and took time drinking it all, while watching him sleep. You took a shower washing him from your body, got dressed to leave when he stopped you, “hey stay the night” you tell him no, he looked disappointed. You tell your self he doesn’t care and leave.
That was why you went to a bar after his place, you got so drunk that you picked up a guy you did not know, took him to your place and let him do whatever he wished. Now a day later you stand in your living room looking at the man you hate, you love. He apologized but it does not make this right, you know this but you let him console you. You let him kiss you, you let him lead you to your bedroom to strip you not only of your clothing but of the dignity that you thought you had. You know when he is done with you will repeat the cycle of self doubt, self hatred. You wish you could stop, you tell yourself it must stop, you just don’t know how.
He looks at you, smiles and you wonder why he thinks its okay to do that, he asks “where did you go last night, I tried calling you”. You look at him wanting to answer but nothing comes out of your mouth. You watch him rise off the couch and come over to stand up in front of you; you don’t even realize that he is kissing you until you feel his tongue slip inside your mouth. You want to push him away, you want to hit him, but you hold him, pulling him closer to you. You want to feel his body pressed up against you. He smells like fresh flowers, you feel safe, you feel loved, even though this man, your tormentor is the one giving it to you. He stops kissing you, leans in, and whispers in your ear “I’m sorry about last night”.
You back away from him, recalling the events that led you to the bar in the first place. You went to see him because he left a message on your machine saying that he wanted to see you,. When you got to his place you knew it was a mistake but you pushed the buzzer any way, a woman answered the door. You remember what happened after you sat on his bed and started to cry. He bent down and kissed the tears away, then kissed you on the mouth like it was his to plunder, why not he has taken everything else. He pushed you back onto his bed; still kissing your mouth with enough force to bruise, hands caressed you as clothing was taken from your body; your hands found themselves tangled in soft black hair.
You felt his lips move down your throat, soft bites making you moan, you don’t want this, you can’t want this, but you need this. Tears begin anew, it seems crying is the only thing you do. He looks into your red, tear streaked eyes, with a smile on his lips leans over to say “I love you, only you, just you, never forget that”. After he was done with you, you went into his liquor cabinet, opened a bottle of scotch and took time drinking it all, while watching him sleep. You took a shower washing him from your body, got dressed to leave when he stopped you, “hey stay the night” you tell him no, he looked disappointed. You tell your self he doesn’t care and leave.
That was why you went to a bar after his place, you got so drunk that you picked up a guy you did not know, took him to your place and let him do whatever he wished. Now a day later you stand in your living room looking at the man you hate, you love. He apologized but it does not make this right, you know this but you let him console you. You let him kiss you, you let him lead you to your bedroom to strip you not only of your clothing but of the dignity that you thought you had. You know when he is done with you will repeat the cycle of self doubt, self hatred. You wish you could stop, you tell yourself it must stop, you just don’t know how.