love and lifeless stars

A/N:….oh…this chapter is awful….well…not entirely, but at least a bit….usually I write a chapter and then the days after I read over it again, change phrases and often add some to explain things better. I have done this here as well, but not as thoroughly as I did with the second chapter for example.
I hope you’ll like it anyway and I really want to apologize for being so impatient and posting it now. I might improve it later, who knows.
Anyway. This chapter is interesting, but I bet most of you will be disappointed to find only Ro in here. Well, as mentioned they have a time table, an agreement on how and when one is supposed to control the body and the time-span covered is Ro time only.
I can’t say that this will be the only chapter that works this way, but they will be very rare.

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Chapter3:


Ro blinked and tried to turn out the light by hitting the switch repeatedly, but had to give up, when he noticed that it was the sunlight that was tingling on his face. It seemed far too bright, but the drumming in his head explained everything.
The sensation of his brain being ripped apart usually came with one of Ry’s hangovers and the left over teen could only swear slightly at the fact that he was the one to deal with it in the morning.

With a hand that felt as heavy as if made out of iron he turned off the alarm clock swinging his even heavier legs out of his bed.

His left toe felt numb, having left the “pins and needles” stage a while ago and Ro could only wince when his feet seemed inclined to give up on his weight. The boy wondered if he had complete control or if his brother was just spooking around unnoticed.

“Ry, stop it”, he muttered, but didn’t get a response.

Instead there came a muffled yawn from where he had just been resting. The teen nearly jumped and opened his eyes, but the pain was just too blinding, the light making his head spin so he had to sit back down and hide it in his palms.

“You’re hung over?” a tired voice asked and Ro could not bring it over him to turn around. With his back still to the person he was talking to, he muttered a quick response.

“Yeah, you had a lot last night.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I wonder where you get all the money from.”

‘So do I’, Ro thought sarcastically, almost wishing for Ry, so he wouldn’t have to deal with this situation.

“I was also surprised that you actually took me back to your place”, the stranger continued and Ro felt a hand sneak around his waist, just resting there, but not trying to pull him closer.

“Does this mean we’re finally getting a bit friendlier?”

The fingers started to trace a random pattern around his stomach and said body part also turned with the sensation of it.

Ro gave a sigh and finally voted for facing his companion.

“Look”, he began, but muted, when he saw the fine, relaxed face of a blond smiling up at him.

“You can’t be so hung over that you forgot about me, right?” the boy asked and Ro couldn’t do anything, but shake his head, though it was a lie. He had never seen the boy before, but that didn’t meant Ry hadn’t.

“I’m just…..you know….not feeling well”, he explained, making a lame effort of brushing the hand off.

“You mean hung over?” the boy asked in a slight American accent, a little laugh escaping his lips.

“Yeah”, Ro admitted. “So…?”

“Jermaine.”

The blonde pulled himself up into a sitting position, the smile still not vanishing from his face.

“I knew that.”

“Sure you did.”

“Yes….”

Ro trailed off.

“It’s nice to have you around in the morning for a change”, Jermaine finally remarked and Ro nodded, his head still killing him.

“You look like shit though.”

“Well, thank you”, Ro sneered sarcastically and the American gave another laugh.

“Poor boy” he cooed. “Come here.”

He held out his hand for Rory, prepared to pull him into a hug, should the other let him.
Ro hesitated, studying the face of the other, before he let himself be embraced, both falling back against the pillow of Rory’s King sized bed.

“That’s nice”, he voiced the first thought that went through his head, snuggling a bit closer.

“You’re welcome”, Jermaine answered.

“Yeah, right. Thank you.”

“Thank you for the amazing sex”, was the answer and Ro was close to jumping out of the bed again, when a hand on his chest stopped him.

“What’s the matter with you?” the smaller- for he was way smaller than Rory, all petite and boyish and snugly- asked.

“You seem like a totally different person.”

“Ehm…well”, Ro struggled with an explanation.

Where was Ry when he needed him?

“It’s the alcohol?!”

“You have fucked me when you were sober before. Most of the times you were sober.”

The blonde’s forehead was in a frown.

“And then you’re suddenly turn up drunk and take me here. And you’re not gone in the morning. Well, not that you could go anywhere”, he added quietly. Ro just stared up at him, wondering what to say. “With it being your house and all.”

“True?!” Ro offered.

“And in addition to that you’re so not you. I mean you’re still here.”

Jermaine looked at him, like he couldn’t possibly believe the other boys existence.

“Well, there are always different aspects to a character.”

“You get shy in the sunlight?” the blond joked.

Ro cocked his head and gave him a smile.

“You could say that.”

“You’re a vampire?”

A giggle broke through Rory’s lips, for the other’s voice had turned into the one of a curious child.

“Yup. Vampire” he smirked and a second later it dawned to him what he was actually doing. He was flirting.

“And I can kill you by tickling?” Jermaine suggested and a second later his hands were at Rory’s sides again, making full contact with the sensitive skin.

The dark haired drew one last breath and then it was forced out of his lungs with the first fit of laughter.

“God…hihi…stop it….oh….please….stop….”

His face turned a bright red from the lack of oxygen and his hands tried to push away the other, who had claimed a possessive position on his stomach.

“I….I….surrender”, he wheezed, his eyes loosing some tears, but at the same time trying a puppy dog look on Jermaine.

“On my conditions?!” he asked.

Ro gave a quick nod.

“What ever you want.”

“Well then…” the blond stressed, being more than a tease now.

“Then I want you to snuggle a bit more with me”, he said.

Ro stared up at him in wonder, not knowing what he had expected, but clearly not this.

“Ok”, he stated unsure, relaxing, when the other rolled off his stomach, curling up against him.

“Because it’s nice to have you.”

“Yeah.”

Ro closed his eyes and focused on the sensations that were wavering through his body.
He felt completely comfortable, felt safe and sound where he was and underneath was just a fine layer of arousal that tugged on his conscious.

He gave a sigh and wondered why Ry never stayed around to experience this.
Why the other only stayed for the act, was so determined to be emotional detached from other people.
He liked the boy next to him. Maybe not enough to have the mindless sex, his brother had clearly initiated a few hours ago.
But enough to share a few moments in the morning.

“Do you feel better now?” the boy suddenly asked and Ro had to give a shrug.

“A bit”, he admitted, for his head was still throbbing, but the heaviness in his limps had decreased.

“You really don’t look well”, Jermaine continued. “I wonder why I even slept with you. I mean you were a wreck.”

“Well, then why did you sleep with me”, Ro heard himself ask.

“Duh. Because you’re sexy as hell”, the American stated matter-of-factly.

Ro stayed silent.

His mind was reeling.

He knew he was fairly attractive- all the people running after him couldn’t be mistaken. But then they ran after Ry, the outgoing character of the other much more inviting than his own withdrawn self. And even though it was the same body, Ro started to wonder whether it was different when Ry was in possession.
If his skin was smoother, his arms stronger, his abdomen curved in a more delicious way.

He closed his eyes slowly, while he let his fingers follow the line of his stomach, dipping into his navel, turning back to caress the smooth chest, trying to trace something that Ry could have left there hours ago.

“What are you doing?”

Jermaine’s voice was full of interest, starling the other in his action. With a blush on his cheeked he emerged from in between the covers, bringing some distance between their bodies.

“Am I really sexy?”, he asked, trying to give his words the cockiness Ry would have put with them, but failing when he almost choked on the last word.

“Yes”, was the simple answer.

“Why?”

Suddenly Ro wanted to know, to hear about the Ry when he wasn’t around.

“Well. Duh. Look at you. You’re gorgeous. All tall and dark hair and bright eyes”, Jermaine said and Ro just had to stop him.

“But it’s not all about looks is it?” he coughed.

“Well…your left ear twitches when you are horny. And that’s kind of cute.”

“What?” Ro turned a flaming red and almost choked on his saliva.

“Yeah, I guess you haven’t noticed. After all: who looks into a mirror when horny?”

I don’t, Ro thought, not being quite sure about Ry. He could just too easily imagine the other one eyeing himself, while stroking down there. The idea made him slightly nauseous.
“I’m sorry, Jermaine, but do you mind if I get up now”, he asked and the blonde shook his head. “You can lie in, but I have to get to one of my courses this morning.”

“I’ll get up as well, if you don’t mind”, he replied and lifted his covers of his naked body. “And have some coffee.”

“Coffee, yeah….coffee, sure”, Ro stumbled over the words, his eyes suddenly glued onto the others pretty shape. The bare skin, just a minute ago pressed tightly against his, was of a lovely creamy colour, making the boy notice how well it went with the golden hair.
His eyes followed, as the American started the search for his clothes, finding them strewn across the floor and when he bend down for his boxers Ro just swallowed and turned into the other direction, trying to get the blush off his face.

“So, how old are you?”, he inquired, walking over to the wardrobe, to get dressed himself.

“21”, Jermaine’s muffled voice came from between the fabric of the shirt he just pulled over his head.

Ro was surprised by this, had he expected his companion to be at least two years younger than him.

“Hmmm…I don’t think we ever talked much before?!”, he half-guessed and the other laughed, pulling his socks over his feet.

“No, not that much”, he admitted.

“Thought so”, Ro mumbled, slipping into his jeans and walking over to the night desk to grab his watch, which of course wasn’t were it was supposed to be.

If the other had heard the comment, he chose to ignore it, because his eyes took in the room, while Ro was bustling around to find his wrist garment.

“Have you seen my watch?”, he finally asked and the other could only shake his head.

“You didn’t wear it last night”, he commented.

“I didn’t?”, Ro wondered, for he had when he returned from the café.

“No. And to be honest: it wouldn’t suit your bad boy outfit. Don’t know where it’s gone to, now.”

The phrase bad boy outfit stood heavy in the air, both imagining Rory in a thigh leather costume with chains adoring his wrists and hips.

Suddenly they giggled, the unspoken “god, are we gay” echoing through the room.

“So, care for some coffee?”, Ro suggested and the other gave him a bright smile.

“Sure.”

“Good.”

One thing Ro knew due to his extended experience was that caffeine was one of the only things that could alleviate the pain in his head.

With slow steps he led the other boy down the stairs into their small kitchen, a cosy place that went with the atmosphere of the house. The room was barley lit, the curtains drawn, sunlight only pressing through the red fabric, giving the impression of a belated dawn. The scent of coffee was floating in the air, coming from the mug that Rory’s sleepy mother, Kelsey held secure in her hands.

The woman looked up with a smile when they entered, throwing them a lazy “morning boys.”

“Mum….mo…morning”, Ro, stuttered, thankful for the dim light, for it hid his deep red blush completely. He had done nothing wrong, he hadn’t even been the one to sleep with Jermaine, but the facts spoke for themselves and the guilt was woven into his words.
His mother gave a nod, slowly getting up to fill them two cups with the bitter liquid.

“I take it you have a hang over, Rory”, she remarked, the accusation staining her voice.

Ro wasn’t sure what it was that she deemed worse- the hopelessly drunken state he must have arrived last night, or the hopelessly horny state he had cured shortly after. In her house.

“Well, yeah”, he answered, taking the cup with the dark, hot liquid of her and handing a second one to Jermaine.

“The aspirin is in the cupboard”, Kelsey said, trying to avoid her son’s eyes.
It was obvious she felt uncomfortable. She was a good, understanding mother and had supported Rory in every decision, including his outing, but as the boy knew she did not approve of Ry’s drinking habits and having the results taken into her house must have made it worse.
Harder to deny.
Up till now Ry had made sure he’d come back in a decent state, never bringing any lovers at all- unless they left before the alarm clock rang, which would not only be an attempt to hide it from their mum, but also from Ro.
He did not like the idea of his brothers having secrets.
But, as well as it had turned out this morning he wasn’t too fond either of having to wake up next to some stranger who related him to hot, sweaty sex.

“I know mum”, he muttered, reaching for the tablet tube.
He offered one to Jermaine, but the boy just shook his head and sipped at his coffee.

Kelsey leaned her tall body against the kitchen counter and let her eyes glide over to Jermaine, offering him a weak smile, tiredness seeping from her eyes.
The blonde smiled back and gave a small cock of his head.

“You must be …Mrs. Devon”, he offered hesitantly and she nodded. They both moved from their positions, to shake each others hands.

“Jermaine Sachet.”

“Oh, you’re French?” Kelsey asked and Jermaine laughed.

“French-Canadian.”

Ro almost choked on his coffee, surprised, since he had just assumed the stranger to be American.

“But your accent?” he inquired and Jermaine laughed again.

“Movies. And knowing a lot of Americans. If you were American yourself you would note the difference, maaatttteeee”, Jermaine explained, stressing the “mate” to emphasize how British Rory actually sounded.

“Rory speaks French”, Kelsey added, looking at her son expectantly.

“Not fluently”, the black head tried to deny.

“I could help you with your French”, the Canadian huffed over the top of his cup, eyebrows twitching devilishly and NOW Ro burned his lip, giving the two others a pointed look, for Kelsey had caught on and was smirking.

“I think you should get going, girls”, she said in a decisive tone, with which she verbally forced them out of the kitchen.

“Make sure you eat well”, she told Rory.

“Sure”, Ro huffed, climbing upstairs to get his bag. Jermaine was waiting patiently on the bottom of the stairs, near the door.

“So, that’s your mum”, he asked when they stepped out of the house.
It was a sunny day, the last September weeks still capturing the flair of summer with the grass bright green and the leaves determined to stay of the same colour.
When they fell into a slow trot, heading eastwards, Ro gave a wordless nod and Jermaine apparently tried to keep up the conversation.

“She is…nice?!”

It was more like a question than a statement and the words made Ro feel guilty. He wished for the times when his mum felt so light-hearted nobody could have mistaken her lively and open-minded attitude.

“She’s tired”, he explained weakly. “Being a single mum and having all that trouble with u-me.”

“I can imagine.” Jermaine laughed. “Though you’re a lot tamer in the morning than at night.”

“It’s the vampire thing”, Ro smirked, but he didn’t feel like joking, for his thoughts had drifted back to his brother. He got curious. He wanted to know. Wanted to study that other being that inhabited his body. But he did not know how to.

“More tickling?” Jermaine suggested, but the other only gave a simple shrug.

“I mean-“, the blonde began, somewhat sounding desperate, as if trying to cling onto something, that Ro slowly pulled away from him. They were clearly nearing the point at which to part and a decision needed to be made.

“Jermaine”, Ro cut him off sharply, stopping in his track. It was the time now to tell the French Canadian where his intentions lay.

He watched as the boy kept walking a bit, slowing down, but not turning around to face him. Ro hated that.

“Jermaine, you know that that’s not gonna go anywhere”, Ro said and he could see how the others shoulders fell. He felt bad about the pain he brought the blonde, but he also knew that it was not his choice. Even if he agreed to see him again, Ry would never want anything more than his usual shag. And the night belonged to Ry.

“We may go on as it was before…” Ro continued, adding a sarcastic “what ever that was”, in his thoughts.

He was sure that was what Ry would want to happen.

“You know I knew that”, Jermaine exhaled in a stern voice that was trying to conceal the hurt Ro could read from the tense position of his shoulder.
There was something in him that wanted to step forward to draw that hurting being into his arms, just to make the pain fade, but he knew that it would not ease, but only postpone it.

“I knew that”, Jermaine whispered again, finally turning around.

His face was even and blank, tears hardly glistening in his eyes and Ro could just admire how brave the other one was. Braver than Ry at least.

Somehow Ro doubted that his brother would have had any guilty feelings when causing such a scene.

He drew a heavy breath, suddenly filled with rage for Ry, with the need to dive into their body and retreat the others soul with force, just to show him what he had done.

Rory shuddered, his eyes about to roll back, for a second it seemed like the body would faint, but then Jermaine had taken hold of his hand, the sudden warmth pulling Ro back to conscious, before he could go on his search for which he would have been forced to give up his body control.

“It’s alright”, the blond whispered, but it was not alright, the anger was still seething in his heart and when Ro send his eyes upwards to look at the other, the latter was slightly shocked at the hurricane of emotions he encountered.


“I’ll better go”, he claimed, drawing Rory in a quick hug, his warmth lingering where it had appeared unexpectedly.

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The teacher held an extraordinary resemblance to a toad. Her shape was stout, the fat on her chin fell in layers over her massive neck and a bunch of messy blond curls surrounded a face that was claimed by two big, watery eyes. They were darting through the room nervously, trying to catch up on all the mischief she expected her students to do. Mischief, however, wasn’t done at all. Rory’s philosophy class was popular and therefore only the straight A students were able to attend it, all way better then him and probably studying 24/7. The boy could hear their pens ghost over paper, could hear the occasional clicking of a laptop keyboard, but only registered the sounds unconsciously.
He had sat down in the very corner of the room, somehow too distracted to follow the lesson. Ry and Jermaine were popping in and out of his mind, mixed with the constant fascination he held for Len. The other boy had something about him that gave Ro wicked ideas into his mind, the wish to be physically close to the brown haired was tingling in his fingers. At the same time, when thinking about it, his face lit up with a flaming blush, when he thought about how his brother must have offended him. He hadn’t been too personal, unlike Len’s questions, but he had combined aggressive words with threatening body language and Ro seriously doubted that the other boy would be willing to talk to him again. He would probably turn around and walk off if he tried. Nevertheless Ro’s mind was reeling as it went through its memories to find out if there had been any hint on where the boy lived, or could be found. The only thing he came up with was the fact that the boy obviously was a first semester psychology student and therefore should easily be found in the western part of the building, where Ro knew the psychology courses were held. He made a mental note of going over there, maybe to just catch a glimpse of his crush.

“Mr.Devon?!” the words of the toad shook him out of his thoughts, his head shooting up in an alarmed manner.

“Yes?” he asked nervously, trying to remember the woman’s name.

“Are you quite alright?” she asked and Ro gave her a confused look.

“You made that strange sound”, she explained with her squeaky voice. “And you look quite pale as well.”

She pointed at his face that looked as if coloured in with white paint.

“Yeah…yeah, sure. I’m fine, Professor”, he pressed the sentence out between clenched teeth. Her question had brought back the hang over he had tried to ignore and he felt the need to vomit.

“Everything’s alright”, he emphasized and the woman stared at him disbelievingly, but finally turned back to her papers, resuming to tell the class about Plato.

Ro exhaled sharply, the nausea settling slowly, whilst he reached for the pen to take some notes.

They were at the beginning of a new topic where they only gathered facts and dates, but they would be of importance should they finally dive into the depths.

Strangely enough, as much as Ro liked his courses, he had found out a while ago that his brother held a fascination for that topic as well. It had been one of his first lessons when Ry had simply become conscious and had started to argue with Ro about the statement he had just made, putting their finger up high to contradict what his brother had just said.
The result was that their teacher held them in high respect, thinking of them as a brilliant student, whilst his peers eyed him with suspicion, deciding to better stay away from him.

Not that Ro minded. With only half a day he did not really have time for friends and so far Ry and he had never agreed on whom to be friends with. The silent one knew that his outgoing counterpart had a whole load of them as soon as night fell, but Jermaine had been the only acquaintance he had met so far. He seemed not to be too bad as a friend, probably even an excellent one, but then Ry wasn’t much of a companion to him.
More like a friend with benefits.
Ro felt a little bit queasy with that idea.
The borderline between friendship and love was not to be crossed in his opinion and just imagining to touch somebody the way Ry did, all the while hurting their feelings, let anger swell in his chest.
Sometimes he just didn’t know what was going on with his brother.
Their opposite characters often made it complicated to relate to the other, but there had been some understanding, an agreement on their moral not to use other people.
Not to load their problems onto them, not to tell them about their schizophrenia, not to fuck them without any real attachment.
Ro knew that should he look for it he would be able to find his brother’s memory of last night, would be able to see what their body had done with Jermaine’s.
He didn’t want to.

He-

The bustle of the other students getting up cut into his conscious. Apparently the lesson had ended several minutes ago, for the toad had already packed most of her papers and his classmates just broke up from a gathering in the middle of the room, little pairs of twos and threes leaving the class in excited chatter. Ro wondered what he had missed while musing about his problems, but couldn’t find a clue on the face of those who were still left. They ignored him kindly, as if he didn’t even exist, cramming their stuff together to leave as well. And maybe he had just moved back into the shadows a bit too far, for his chair was hitting the wall already, and he slowly got up, grabbing his books and coat with one hand, whilst pulling the chair back to its origin.

Just when he was about to leave the room, the toad’s voice called him back, her face attempting an easy smile, when all she did was looking concerned.

She was very fond of her handsome, withdrawn student.

“Mr.Devon, I take it you got a cold?”, she asked.

Ro gave a nod, thankful that an excuse had practically been thrown at him.

The water blue eyes scanned him thoroughly, before his teacher put her folder down onto the desk.

“Mr. Devon I want you to do an extra assignment.”

Rory stared at her, eyes all wide and surprised.

“But…why would you?”

“Because you were half way asleep in my class today”, she smiled, winking at him.

Ro had no idea what she was playing at.

She giggled for a minute, then became serious again.

Her hand brushed the green folder she had just put down.

“No, I think, you’ll be perfect to do this assignment and I assure you it will raise your final marks by quite a bit.”

“Ehm, ok”, Ro mumbled, still confused, but not willing to let it show- when his teacher wanted him to do that assignment, he had not exactly a choice.

The woman smiled at him with a satisfied expression and pushed the folder towards him.

“Everything you need to know is in here. Take your time”, she said and Ro picked it up.

“Thank you?”, he asked a bit unsure.

“You’re welcome”, the toad answered, but had already turned away.

Ro gave a sigh and left the room.
Outside there were some more of his classmates staring at them, but he just passed them by, heading towards the cafeteria to have a look at his assignment.
It was two floors higher, him being on the ground floor and the bad cut of the building forced him not to only trot down the whole corridor to reach the stairs to level one, but also the other aisle, for the stairs of level one and two were at the opposite ends of it.

He sped up, curiosity making his fingers itch, whilst he wasn’t inclined to stop in the middle of the university building, where he had not even a chair and table to settle on.
He was half way down the second corridor, when he heard the sound of a piano being played. It was a slow, depressive song; the sounds extracted seemed all fragile fragments of a broken soul. Listening to that song almost hurt.

Rory slowly edged forward, coming closer to the door which was not completely closed, but did not enable him to see who was playing.
He extended his hand and carefully pushed and when the gap between door and doorframe was wide enough to catch a glimpse on the musician Ro gasped.

It were Len’s fingers flying over the keys as if in trance and Ro was sure the boys expression matched this state, but he could only see his hazel hair flow up and down with the movement of the player rocking his head according to the rhythm.

His bag lay discarded on the floor next to the younger boy’s feet that were clad in simple trainers. The trousers were a bit too short, so that his skin gleamed between the dark linen and the white shoes. Ro could just about see the socks above the rim of the leather. They were mismatched, a bright green and a black one and Ro found that strangely adorable.

He gave a little giggle and even though the piano’s song was quite loud, the other heard him and turned around quickly.

His fingers had abandoned their play, the silence that claimed the room now only broken by the constant ticking of the metronome that was placed on the piano.

“Hello”, Len breathed finally, his body still awkwardly twisted, his neck craned to look behind his back.

“Hi”, Ro echoed. He tried a sly smile and the other finally turned around on the bench he was sitting on.

“You are Rory Devon, aren’t you?”, the boy stated and Ro didn’t know if it was a hint on to their previous encounter.

“Yeah. Lennard?”

The boy nodded.

“Well. I was wondering”, Ro began and the next words shot out of his mouth as if he had never tried to keep them back. “If we could still finish this questionnaire.”


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Right, to all the lovely people out there….more Ry in the next chapter!


kitkattcassy: thank you so much for you’re review….it made me giggle…. Leaving your characters in such a state is really mean….and also hard to finish later….that’s why I’m probably never gonna do it….or I have the rest written down, even if I’m not gonna post it, yet…..
I have to read your story….at a time when there are no people around…unlike now….
Yes….Ry is love- and likeable….
Though Len is my personal favourite and I’m waiting for somebody to declare their liking for him….
And everybody wants ro and ry together…..but I can’t tell you, can I?
Concerning the mistakes….I’m sure there are some….english is my second language and I work without beta….I apologize though….let’s hope I’ll get better and the mistakes less….if there is anything major, tell me and I’ll correct it…

MidnightsKeeper: glad you liked it….and no worries…I at least intend to finish it (which is more than I can say about some other things)

SecretWhispers:…..nice pen name…..and updates….yes of course….thanks for the review

I’ll be your fairytale: sure thing…I got some things that keep me going……if we’re lucky you’ll get weekly updates…..

Fiby….yes you will….I’m gonna send you chocolate cakes…in Rory shape, if you want……..and finally someone being sympathetic with Ro…..about him dating…..well….you just read this chapter….lets see what’s next
And a big hug to you, because you’re one of the only persons leaving a review for both chapters so far….thank you very, very much

Aleks:……more will come….promise

Teeta: you know, don’t you…..