The NEW Elemental Super Heroes!
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
886
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
886
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Oh Baby, baby!!!
Oh Baby baby!
The table was all set, candles, nice white tablecloth… the best apple juice money could buy… and Flame on the couch, laughing her ass off.
Ice was in the kitchen making all the basics for telling one that a female was expecting, salad with baby corn, a nice dinner of baby back ribs, baby carrots and… anything else baby you people can think of, I’ve had no sleep. (author note there)
“You really think Temp is going to get the hint?” Flame was still giggling.
“How thick do you think my boyfriend IS?” Ice glared at her.
‘You don’t want to know the answer to that Mom.’ Rascal sat, scratching her collar a bit, she looked over at Physco, and shook her head.
“You don’t want to know the answer to that.” Flame said… Rascal glaring at her, ‘I just said that.’
Ice merely continued to fix the meal… “Do you MIND Flame, Temp is going to be here any time…”
“No, no, go right ahead and do what you need to do, don’t mind me…”
“Flame… this is private.”
Flame got up and walked to the door and opened it. “You tell me what he thinks right?”
Ice stopped and just shook her head, “Flame, the whole apartment complex is going to know what he thinks…”
Rascal was trying to get outside when… HA! Nox!
‘OH SHIT! Do you have to do that???’ Rascal almost fell over as Nox just laughed.
‘Yes, that’s what I am good at.’ Nox flipped her tail and walked off.
***
“Oh! You are home Temp-baby…” Ice smiled, she had no idea that flame had melted a small hole in the wall and was watching the whole thing.
Tempest shook his head, “ugh… I just need a sho…” he stopped. “You made dinner?”
Ice nodded, “Yes dear… and it’s warm, go ahead and get your shower… I can keep it warm for a while longer.”
Rascal shook her head and barked a bit, so happy to see daddy, ‘Mommy’s having puppies!’
‘They don’t call them puppies alcoholic, for them they call them babies’ Physco laughed.
‘And the difference is?’
‘You have a point.’ Physco says, walking over to the wall where Flame had burnt her hole and lifted his leg.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
Physco just laughed and walked off, ‘Private party.’
***
“There now baby, don’t you feel much better?” Ice walked up and gave Temp a kiss. Tempest just smiled, “Dinner smells wonderful.”
Ice smiled, “Sit. Relax… eat.”
Tempest did just that, he sat down and dug into his salad, drinking his juice… he then ate his ribs and the carrots and new potatoes and all the good stuff that Ice had made… he wasn’t getting the hint.
“Are you enjoying it babe?” Ice said as she ate.
“Yes, it’s wonderful. You should cook like this more often…”
“Hmm… well, soon enough I will be…” she began, but a knock on the door interrupted her. She stood up and answered the door. It was Flame…
“Did you te…” SLAM.
“Who was it dear?” Tempest asked.
“Mormons.”
“Ugh…” Tempest shook his head and kept eating…
Ice sat back down… meanwhile.
***
“BABY BABY BABY BABY!!!” Earth was jumping up and down…
“Shh, she hasn’t told him yet!” Flame smiles, “But we have to make sure he knows…”
“Leave THAT to Pancake MAN!”
“But you ate all the Pancakes this morning…” Flame pointed out.
Earth gasped and ran to his freezer, only to emerge a few moments later as… “WAFFLE MAAAAAAAAAN!”
“Still frozen, talk about your shrinkage dude.” Flame giggled. (Thank you for my reviewer for the Waffle Man idea…)
***
Ice had just finished dinner, still not getting the courage to… tell Tempest about her little condition… She was just about to get the nerve when the phone rang… Ice answered it.
“He…”
‘Did you tell him yet, did y…” SLAM, Flame again!
“Who was that dear?” Tempest was sitting down on the couch after dinner.
“Telemarketers.” Ice said, shaking her head, “It’s getting warm in here, I think I will open a wind…” She looked out the window, and to her shock and horror… an airplane was skywriting…
‘To whom it may concern, dear Mister Tempest, Your girlfriend Ice is pregnant… oh yes, by the way, I used Shadow’s credit card, if you want the number, please tell me and we can go shopping later. Oh, by the way, could you pick up milk and pancakes for me next time you are out? Well, this is paid for by the letter, so I must be going, be well… with all my love, Goddess bless…. Earth.’
Ice slammed the curtains shut, “On second thought, I just want to watch CSI and go to bed… It’s been a long day…” She turns on the television…
The screen flickers on and suddenly, there is a banner, and music, and Earth… “HEY ICE… did you…”
Ice dove for the remote, “It’s-one-we-have-already-seen” She clicked the television off, much to the shocked Tempest’s dismay.
“Ice honey, you sure are acting funny… something wrong?”
“No, no… nothing’s wrong… why would you say that?” She smiled…
Cue marching band… lead by Earth…
Tempest ran to look out the front door, the drums on the side spelled out ‘Iceispreg…’ apparently, they didn’t have enough to spell out… Earth was leading them in formation around the doorway.
“What is this?” Tempest shook his head, “Earth, enough nonsense before I pop you in the skull.”
Earth sighed… Then bent over and pulled his pants down, showing waffles with whipped creamed ‘FUCK YOU’ on them, just for good measure.
Tempest slammed the door and turned to Ice, “Ice… I think the whole town has gone nuts…”
Ice nodded and then sighed, thinking ‘any longer, and the baby will tell him.’ “You are right, they are all insane… let’s just head to bed, mmm?”
***
Ice sat at table, having gone out to lunch with Flame and Earth.
“EXPLAIN!” Ice sighed.
“I want to know if you told Tempest yet…” Earth whined, diving into his IHOP pancakes…
“No, thanks to you guys…” Ice shook her head.
Flame just laughed, “Don’t blame me, I can’t help it…”
*** (Meanwhile)
Shadow was just getting up for his afternoon… and opened up the window to see…
Skywriting.
“What the hell did I miss… waaaaaaaaait a minute!” He rips open the nearest phone book and calls, “Yes… yes… how much per letter is it for skywriting… thank you…” he slammed the phone down as he heard the price… 289 dollars per letter?...
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Clear across town at Ihop…
Earth, deep in a pile of pancakes, shivered, “I just got this bad feeling you guys… like someone is thinking about me.”
“Maybe it’s not a good thing Earth… you did use Shadow’s credit card last night.” Flame smiles, sipping coffee.
“YOU gave it to me!”
“Woah, stop… why oh why did you two do that again? Any longer and I’ll just let the baby tell him, you know?” Ice sighed.
“Don’t worry Ice, when the time is right, you will tell him wh…” and with that… Earth disappeared, drug by a hand under the table.
“Guess Shadow found out about his credit card…” Flame shrugged. Ice shrugged too… what else could she do?
“Maybe Earth shouldn’t have signed his name on the skywriting?” Ice snickers.
“Reminds me… can I get these never ending pancakes to go… and I mean, as many as you guys will let me take… Earth is not going to be leaving his room for a while, I’m sure…” Flame told the poor scared waitress… then, “Oh, he just went to the bathroom…”
“Under the table?” The poor girl shook her head, “I deserve a big tip, a physiologist visit and a trip to Miami…”
Flame shook a small piece of plastic that had the name ‘Shadow of Darkness’ on it, “I’ll throw in a big tip if you give me what I asked for…”
The young girl did as she was told.
***
“Hey Ice…” Tempest said… it was late, and the lights were off. Tempest was leaving the next morning to go back out on the truck, and he still didn’t know…
“Yeah Temp?” Ice snuggled up to him… finding the courage to tell him…
“Flame and Earth have been acting strange and all… are you not telling me something?”
Ice shook her head, “What could I be hiding from you?”
Temp shook his head and held her close, “I knew that you couldn’t hide anything from me love… that’s why I care so much for you.”
That made Ice feel horrible! She finally blurted out…
“Tempest, I’m pregnant.”
***
Meanwhile, in the shadowrealm…
Earth sat there, looking at the dragons… and just… bored.
“Guys? Shadow??? Flame??? ICE? Anyone…”
The dragon nearest told him to shut the fuck up.
“Lilac? Bring pancakes… I’m hungry! PANCAKES!!!”
(Yes, that’s two chapters in one night. Thank you Flame for kicking me in the butt)
The table was all set, candles, nice white tablecloth… the best apple juice money could buy… and Flame on the couch, laughing her ass off.
Ice was in the kitchen making all the basics for telling one that a female was expecting, salad with baby corn, a nice dinner of baby back ribs, baby carrots and… anything else baby you people can think of, I’ve had no sleep. (author note there)
“You really think Temp is going to get the hint?” Flame was still giggling.
“How thick do you think my boyfriend IS?” Ice glared at her.
‘You don’t want to know the answer to that Mom.’ Rascal sat, scratching her collar a bit, she looked over at Physco, and shook her head.
“You don’t want to know the answer to that.” Flame said… Rascal glaring at her, ‘I just said that.’
Ice merely continued to fix the meal… “Do you MIND Flame, Temp is going to be here any time…”
“No, no, go right ahead and do what you need to do, don’t mind me…”
“Flame… this is private.”
Flame got up and walked to the door and opened it. “You tell me what he thinks right?”
Ice stopped and just shook her head, “Flame, the whole apartment complex is going to know what he thinks…”
Rascal was trying to get outside when… HA! Nox!
‘OH SHIT! Do you have to do that???’ Rascal almost fell over as Nox just laughed.
‘Yes, that’s what I am good at.’ Nox flipped her tail and walked off.
***
“Oh! You are home Temp-baby…” Ice smiled, she had no idea that flame had melted a small hole in the wall and was watching the whole thing.
Tempest shook his head, “ugh… I just need a sho…” he stopped. “You made dinner?”
Ice nodded, “Yes dear… and it’s warm, go ahead and get your shower… I can keep it warm for a while longer.”
Rascal shook her head and barked a bit, so happy to see daddy, ‘Mommy’s having puppies!’
‘They don’t call them puppies alcoholic, for them they call them babies’ Physco laughed.
‘And the difference is?’
‘You have a point.’ Physco says, walking over to the wall where Flame had burnt her hole and lifted his leg.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
Physco just laughed and walked off, ‘Private party.’
***
“There now baby, don’t you feel much better?” Ice walked up and gave Temp a kiss. Tempest just smiled, “Dinner smells wonderful.”
Ice smiled, “Sit. Relax… eat.”
Tempest did just that, he sat down and dug into his salad, drinking his juice… he then ate his ribs and the carrots and new potatoes and all the good stuff that Ice had made… he wasn’t getting the hint.
“Are you enjoying it babe?” Ice said as she ate.
“Yes, it’s wonderful. You should cook like this more often…”
“Hmm… well, soon enough I will be…” she began, but a knock on the door interrupted her. She stood up and answered the door. It was Flame…
“Did you te…” SLAM.
“Who was it dear?” Tempest asked.
“Mormons.”
“Ugh…” Tempest shook his head and kept eating…
Ice sat back down… meanwhile.
***
“BABY BABY BABY BABY!!!” Earth was jumping up and down…
“Shh, she hasn’t told him yet!” Flame smiles, “But we have to make sure he knows…”
“Leave THAT to Pancake MAN!”
“But you ate all the Pancakes this morning…” Flame pointed out.
Earth gasped and ran to his freezer, only to emerge a few moments later as… “WAFFLE MAAAAAAAAAN!”
“Still frozen, talk about your shrinkage dude.” Flame giggled. (Thank you for my reviewer for the Waffle Man idea…)
***
Ice had just finished dinner, still not getting the courage to… tell Tempest about her little condition… She was just about to get the nerve when the phone rang… Ice answered it.
“He…”
‘Did you tell him yet, did y…” SLAM, Flame again!
“Who was that dear?” Tempest was sitting down on the couch after dinner.
“Telemarketers.” Ice said, shaking her head, “It’s getting warm in here, I think I will open a wind…” She looked out the window, and to her shock and horror… an airplane was skywriting…
‘To whom it may concern, dear Mister Tempest, Your girlfriend Ice is pregnant… oh yes, by the way, I used Shadow’s credit card, if you want the number, please tell me and we can go shopping later. Oh, by the way, could you pick up milk and pancakes for me next time you are out? Well, this is paid for by the letter, so I must be going, be well… with all my love, Goddess bless…. Earth.’
Ice slammed the curtains shut, “On second thought, I just want to watch CSI and go to bed… It’s been a long day…” She turns on the television…
The screen flickers on and suddenly, there is a banner, and music, and Earth… “HEY ICE… did you…”
Ice dove for the remote, “It’s-one-we-have-already-seen” She clicked the television off, much to the shocked Tempest’s dismay.
“Ice honey, you sure are acting funny… something wrong?”
“No, no… nothing’s wrong… why would you say that?” She smiled…
Cue marching band… lead by Earth…
Tempest ran to look out the front door, the drums on the side spelled out ‘Iceispreg…’ apparently, they didn’t have enough to spell out… Earth was leading them in formation around the doorway.
“What is this?” Tempest shook his head, “Earth, enough nonsense before I pop you in the skull.”
Earth sighed… Then bent over and pulled his pants down, showing waffles with whipped creamed ‘FUCK YOU’ on them, just for good measure.
Tempest slammed the door and turned to Ice, “Ice… I think the whole town has gone nuts…”
Ice nodded and then sighed, thinking ‘any longer, and the baby will tell him.’ “You are right, they are all insane… let’s just head to bed, mmm?”
***
Ice sat at table, having gone out to lunch with Flame and Earth.
“EXPLAIN!” Ice sighed.
“I want to know if you told Tempest yet…” Earth whined, diving into his IHOP pancakes…
“No, thanks to you guys…” Ice shook her head.
Flame just laughed, “Don’t blame me, I can’t help it…”
*** (Meanwhile)
Shadow was just getting up for his afternoon… and opened up the window to see…
Skywriting.
“What the hell did I miss… waaaaaaaaait a minute!” He rips open the nearest phone book and calls, “Yes… yes… how much per letter is it for skywriting… thank you…” he slammed the phone down as he heard the price… 289 dollars per letter?...
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Clear across town at Ihop…
Earth, deep in a pile of pancakes, shivered, “I just got this bad feeling you guys… like someone is thinking about me.”
“Maybe it’s not a good thing Earth… you did use Shadow’s credit card last night.” Flame smiles, sipping coffee.
“YOU gave it to me!”
“Woah, stop… why oh why did you two do that again? Any longer and I’ll just let the baby tell him, you know?” Ice sighed.
“Don’t worry Ice, when the time is right, you will tell him wh…” and with that… Earth disappeared, drug by a hand under the table.
“Guess Shadow found out about his credit card…” Flame shrugged. Ice shrugged too… what else could she do?
“Maybe Earth shouldn’t have signed his name on the skywriting?” Ice snickers.
“Reminds me… can I get these never ending pancakes to go… and I mean, as many as you guys will let me take… Earth is not going to be leaving his room for a while, I’m sure…” Flame told the poor scared waitress… then, “Oh, he just went to the bathroom…”
“Under the table?” The poor girl shook her head, “I deserve a big tip, a physiologist visit and a trip to Miami…”
Flame shook a small piece of plastic that had the name ‘Shadow of Darkness’ on it, “I’ll throw in a big tip if you give me what I asked for…”
The young girl did as she was told.
***
“Hey Ice…” Tempest said… it was late, and the lights were off. Tempest was leaving the next morning to go back out on the truck, and he still didn’t know…
“Yeah Temp?” Ice snuggled up to him… finding the courage to tell him…
“Flame and Earth have been acting strange and all… are you not telling me something?”
Ice shook her head, “What could I be hiding from you?”
Temp shook his head and held her close, “I knew that you couldn’t hide anything from me love… that’s why I care so much for you.”
That made Ice feel horrible! She finally blurted out…
“Tempest, I’m pregnant.”
***
Meanwhile, in the shadowrealm…
Earth sat there, looking at the dragons… and just… bored.
“Guys? Shadow??? Flame??? ICE? Anyone…”
The dragon nearest told him to shut the fuck up.
“Lilac? Bring pancakes… I’m hungry! PANCAKES!!!”
(Yes, that’s two chapters in one night. Thank you Flame for kicking me in the butt)