Tango

Chapter Three



That night as I was trying to fall asleep, I went over and over in my mind what Nicholas might have meant. Could he really think that of me? I mean I know that I was cold and rude to him but was I really all that bad?

The movie night had started out great! All of us were crowded on the floor and the couch and Sidney was going from person to person begging for food and finally flopping down on top of us. She seemed to know exactly who to go to. In fact she ate all Ben’s popcorn when he wasn’t looking. But things started to go downhill when we put in the second movie.

Everyone was getting sort of bored of just sitting around and gorging ourselves with popcorn and candy. I admit I was sort of bored, but only because I had seen all of the movies before. Not that I didn’t like them because I absolutely love The Legend of Sleepy Hollow movie, but I just felt restless sitting there with Sidney sprawled over my lap. And I could practically feel the candy corn settling onto my already bigger than I wanted them thighs. Maybe eating that while bag myself wasn’t the brightest idea, but it’s just so good!

Anyways, we were all fidgeting in our spots until Cory spoke up. “Guys lets do something for a change.”

“Like what?” I challenged.

“I don’t know.” He whined, “How about Truth or Dare or something?” He was met with a chorus of agreement. “Ok then, I’ll go first.” He looked around to room and was sizing everyone up. “Renee. Truth or Dare?”

I sighed, a smile on my face. “I’m such a chicken. Truth.”

“Um… What is your deepest, darkest secret?”

Aw crap. Why do they always choose such hard questions that you can never answer? I mean, I’m not about to tell them the truth about me. I could see Scarlet looking at me nervously. She knew the truth, well part of it. So maybe that wouldn’t make it my deepest, darkest secret. It wouldn’t be now would it if other people knew it too. I racked my brains to think of something else to say when finally I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “I never wanted to come here and I was perfectly happy before hand.” Oh God I cant believe that I actually said that out loud. I could see everyone’s faces turn red and ashamed. But none surpassed the color of my own.

What I said was true enough. I never wanted to come here and leave my father. No matter how mad I was at him. Not that I didn’t like it where I was, but it just wasn’t home and I missed my normal life. A life that wasn’t so full of lies and deceit. “Excuse me.” I whispered and made my way up to my room. But I never made it the whole way. At the top of the stairs I plopped down and buried my face in my hands. What a great way to make friends. They were all probably talking about me right now and saying what a horrible thoughtless person I was.

There were soft footsteps coming up the stairs in front of my. I kept my head buried in my hands as they sat down.

Whoever it was made no move to say anything. I sighed deeply and raised my head to look at who it was. And to my great surprise it was Nicholas of all people. “Come here to gloat have we?” I spat at him. I was so sure that he had been wishing for all of his close friends to turn against me that I looked right back at my feet. For some reason, looking at him was making my eyes tear up and my nose run.

“No I didn’t come here to gloat, but I do have something to tell you. Look, I know that moving from your precious Vancouver to our dinky little town in the middle of no where Ontario has left you in a culture shock but that doesn’t mean that you have the right to be all high and mighty with us. You are going to have to drop your little ‘West Coast’ snob act or that’s all that you are going to have here.”

Listening to him had let the dam on my tears break into a thousand pieces. Tears were silently cascading down my cheeks and I really needed a tissue. I sniffed loudly and wiped my nose boyishly on my shirtsleeve. I looked up and hiccupped. “I really feel bad about what I said but that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Oh get over yourself Renee. Not everything is about you.” And with that Nicholas walked back down the stairs and left me alone again.

It was about 20 minutes later when I finally got the nerve to go back down, though when I finally settled down, the movie was back on and no one was talking. It was the most uncomfortable silence that I had ever witnessed. And in that room of people, I had never felt more alone.

- - - - - - -

I had the same dream the last couple of nights that I usually have but this time it is a little bit different. I could see the faint outline of his face. In the dreams normally my eyes were closed but this time I guess that they were open. He looked so familiar but at the same time I couldn’t place where I knew him from. It was weird though because although I could only see the shadow placed over his face like a screen, I could see his eyes.

They were such a dark blue that they almost blended in with the rest of his face but they had such love in them that they took my breath away. And yet, I could see pain and hurt also. It was really confusing to me now, but I knew that later it would all fit together and make sense.

Saturday morning I awoke to find Scarlet sitting in my room in the chair across from my bed. As I grinded the sleep from my eyes she started to talk. “I heard about your conversation with Nicholas last night.”

“You did?” I said sheepishly, “I’m really sorry about what I said last night. I just miss home so much right now and I went out of line.”

“It’s okay, I should have intervened with Cory’s question. After all,” she laughed, “He did ask you a question that you couldn’t answer. So that means that you cheated at the game.”

I laughed too. Although she wasn’t really right in that since she knew already, but I decided to not correct her. “So what are we doing today then?” I asked to star a new conversation. The old one was starting to get me down. I couldn’t help thinking of the look of sorrow and displeasure in Nicholas’ eyes. It’s not as if I really cared…I don’t think, but I just have never liked letting people down. But how could I have let him down? It was a really puzzling question that I didn’t have an answer to right then.

I spent the rest of the weekend playing basketball at the local park, doing homework, and playing with Sidney. As much as I hated to admit it that dog was growing on me. Never had a dog done that since the dog that I had when I was really little, before Georgette bit me.

The dog had been my mother’s when she was a little girl and she went to university with my mother and finally into my family when my mom married my dad. Sarah had been her name and she had been the best dog in the world. Sadly, Sarah died the summer that I was 3. It’s strange what memories we keep. I hardly remember my kindergarten days and yet I remember that.

Something else that I did during the weekend was keeping myself as far away from the computer as possible. Ever since there has been IM’s I have talked to my friends in Vancouver. We would also always e-mail each other all the time and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control myself if I sat down at the keyboard. That was another hard thing that I had to get over too. The way that I dealt with my troubles was through writing things down. And I did this ON the computer. I guess that I will just have to do it the old fashioned way now. Trusty old pen and paper. After all they always do say that the pen is mightier then the sword… except when you have to knock a few teeth out of someone. At least I could still take pictures.

That was the one thing that my mother left with me that will never go away, my love of photography. My mother had been a professional for the New York Times before I was born and she taught me all about the beauty of it. I just wish that I could stop missing her so much that it hurt. My dad I could live without right now, but my mother was someone whose place could never be filled.

- - - - - - -

Monday mornings should be outlawed in every country. And yet I was actually happy to be going back to school new uniform and all. I was looking forward to the battle of the bands that was on Friday at the Underground. I hadn’t heard the guys play yet and was excited to do so. Monday morning meant that Friday would come soon; maybe that was the reasoning behind my sudden change.

“Morning Renee.” Groaned Scarlet on her way to the bathroom as I passed her in the hall. She had major bed head and the imprint of her pillow on her left cheek. Poor girl had been up most of the night starting and finishing a major history project that was due today. It was on the Elizabethan period and she had to do a bio on Queen Elizabeth to go with it. I helped her all that I could but she was still going at it at 12:30 when I finally went to bed. I fell asleep listening to her silently curse at the project and her teacher in the room next to mine.

“What time did you finish?” I asked her while she was brushing her teeth.

“Ust ow.” She spit the toothpaste foam in to the sink and then tried again to answer me. “Just now. Like about a half hour ago. I fell asleep at six this morning, and was out long enough to get this. She gestured at her face where there was indeed a pillow imprint but also a huge pimple in the middle of her forehead. “This just isn’t my day.” She sighed.

I just laughed and went down to have breakfast and get all of my books together. The bus was due to come in about 20 minutes. 15 minutes later Scarlet came rushing into the kitchen and attempted to eat a bowl of cereal while running around the house packing her school bag.

We made it to the bus stop just as the bus was pulling away from the curb. I saw Jessica sitting in the very back seat looking straight at us and then she turned around. She must have yelled at the bus driver to stop or someone else did because the bus pulled over to the side of the road and waited for us to catch up.

“Thank you so much.” I said to the driver, breathing heavily. Note to self; I need to get into better shape. Maybe I’ll start running track again.

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful except for gym class. Thursday afternoon I walked into the gym to see the two gym teachers together going over notes. Normally I had Ms. Clarks as my teacher and coach but today she was teamed with the guy’s gym teacher Mr. Davis.

“Good news people,” Shouted Ms. Clarks over the many conversations that were going on, “This week and next the two gym classes will be merged into one to have myself and Mr. Davis teach you guys how to dance.”

“But we already know how to dance!” Yelled Tom from the scattered cluster that had developed.

“That may be true Mr. Farley, but it is also true that what you consider dancing now a days is not what dancing is supposed to be like. We are going to teach you the fundamentals of the classics. I’m talking about waltzing, the fox trot, the cha-cha and the tango. Now we are going to put you into partners and that is going to be your dance partner for the next few weeks.” Answered Mr. Davis.

“Alright, when I call your names find your partner. Blake Smith and Meagan McElroy, Brad McElroy and Jessica Walker, Tom Farley and Alexandra Hurley, Nicholas O’Shea and Renee McTavish…” Ms. Clarks kept reading out her list of names but I had stopped listening after she called mine.

They paired me with Nicholas. I could feel the color of my embarrassment creeping up my face. After his little talk to me on Friday night I was sure that he would never want to talk to me again. I looked around to try and find him but I couldn’t see very well over everyone else’s heads.

“Looking for me?” Asked a voice from my direct right. It startled me enough to make me jump.

“Yeah I was. And you scared me.”

“Sorry.”

And that was it. Neither of us made an attempt to start a conversation and there was this awkward silence that seemed to last a century. I shifted uncomfortably on the spot where I was standing and started to study my shoes. Boy they were really dirty. I should really clean them when I got home.

“Ok now, everyone spread out over the gym. Guys place your left hand on the girl’s waist and girly put your right hand on your guys left shoulder. Then hold on to each other’s free hands. We’ll start off with the simple box step. OK now watch and see how Ms. Clarks and I do it.”

It looked simple enough to me but as I tried it became harder. I was supposed to step forward with the right, to the side with the left and then put my feet together. Then you step back with the left, to the side with the right and together. It sounds simple but I just couldn’t get the hang of it at all. I kept stepping with the wrong foot and landed on Nicholas’ feet a few times. But he was doing just as bad if not worse then I was.

It took us a while but we finally completed a box without any mistakes. I couldn’t help but smile at the job well done and was sad to hear that class was over. I turned to head to the showers but was unable to go very far because Nicholas was still holding on to my hand and his other hand was still on my waist. He was just standing there staring at me, totally lost in his own world.

“McTavish, O’Shea! You two can hold hands after you hit the showers ok? Now stop staring and start moving.” Yelled Mr. Davis from inside the gym office.

Nicholas quickly let go of me, mumbled a hurried apology to no one in particular and started to walk briskly to the boys change room.