I Hate You!

A/N: Wow, I hadn't updated in a long time. So many things have happened, but well... now I have some time to keep writing this. No errors of any kind have been revised.

Chapter Three: A Tingle of Admiration.

Call my mom because I wouldn't be home? I stared at him with a blank expression that slowly transformed into a glare. There was no way I was going to miss sleeping in my warm bed to spend the night with a walking prick. I leaned into the seat, closing my eyes for a moment.

"The hell I'm calling my mom..." I hissed, "You will take me back home tonight."

The smug smirk on his face only made me realize I was actually fearful of him carrying out his threat and the comical part of it all was that deep down I didn't want to stop him. It was a game and I wanted to win; at whatever cost. I relaxed a little and wondered what kind of face my mom would put if I called her and told her I'd be out the entire night; probably not a good one. I had rarely slept out of my house and usually when I did she knew I wasn't doing anything bad. Not that what Julian wanted was too bad; but to mom it would be and there was no changing that woman's mind.

"So..." his voice interrupted my train of thought. I blinked and uttered a word. He glanced at me, "You think that maybe we can get a long on this field trip?"

I snickered. There was no way he'd have an easy ride with me-- ever. "Nah, I'm fond of our hatred for each other."

"I don't hate you."

"Why don't you turn up the radio?"

"How about I put on a CD?" he offered, "It's under your seat..."

I bent forward, inserting my hand in the mentioned area and took hold of the leather case. I unzipped it and began scanning through his selection. A lot of Goo Goo Dolls, I noted. He seemed to be watching me from the corner of his eyes, for my skin reacted as it did every time I felt someone staring at me. I cringed, I hated being stared at. He had a lot of rock music, which didn’t surprise me-- but a CD from Justin Timberlake caused me to chuckle in amusement.

"Fan of boy bands?"

He visibly stiffened, "No. That was a time..."

"Your girlfriend liked them, huh?"

He didn't answer. "Put whatever you want."

I continued with my search until my fingers ran across a Nightwish CD. Perfect. I loved that band. The mix of classical instruments and vocals with the angry beats of rock simply amazed me and drove me into a strange state of bliss. There was a particular song I wanted to listen to. Extracting the CD from the sleeve, I pushed it into the slit of the player and put the track I desired to hear first. As the piano chords boomed through the speaker I leaned back into the seat again, humming the melody with careful precision.

"I love this song." I confessed.

"Why?" he asked, voice dripping with curiosity.

"I feel it so deeply."

I knew that perhaps this was one conversation I wouldn't-- or shouldn't be sharing with Julian, but the melody was beginning to seep into my pores and my heart had already begun to ache. At times, I wanted so much to feel that soothing rain the song kept mentioning-- though the metaphor would never become reality. So yeah, I was feeling a little dark at that moment but somehow it felt right to mention that truth in a sentence. It was dumb of me to except him to offer some intellectual response, but his next words did in fact surprise me.

"It almost feels as though the song was meant for oneself..." he smiled softly, "I could almost sing it... if I only could."

"Why don't you?" was all the poured out of my lips.

Julian turned his attention to me and I feared for the swerving road ahead if his eyes did not focus on ahead. I sighed, hoping he would say something stupid so that the spark of admiration for his previous statement could extinguish. The heavy metal of the song clashed with the classical strains of the score and it seemed so appropriate for him and me. We were so different. Even in his shallow side, he was beautiful and gentle and I-- I was nothing more than a walking instrument of anger. I was brutal and unrefined. I envied his silky tone that transcribed even through anger.

"Because I never learned to sing." he admitted quietly.

A smile crossed my lips. It held no sarcasm, it was real and the reality of it scared me. Quickly I replaced the smile with a smirk, afraid he'd read into the revelation of my lips. "It's not that hard..."

And suddenly the chords of the piano shut off the bass of the song in the intercession and my heart began to transmit stinging tears to my eyes. The feeling was too strong and I was forced to look away-- the piano always broke my soul in two. Before I could fall into despair, the angelic voice of the lead singer boomed through the speakers and my own voice joined in choir. I sang with my heart and the aching of my soul. It had been years since I had allowed anyone to hear me sing and it amazed me I had begun to soar with Julian-- the least expected of all people.

And just like that the madness was over and the silence that proceeded after the song felt heavy upon my shoulders. A red light halted our progress and his clapping broke the quiet barrier. I blinked, not understanding why he was clapping and suddenly I realized he was doing it for me. I scoffed, allowing my strength to return to my body. "It's not like you enjoyed my little moment."

"It was beautiful." his words sounded quite sincere, "If I could only hear more of it..."

His long fingers moved towards the buttons on the player and he smiled, "Do you know all the songs?"

I nodded. "Will you sing one for me?" Before I could answer the song began to play and my heart instantly jumped. This was probably my favorite song after Nemo. "Ghost Love Score..." I smiled.

It was a small favor for a man whose voice held so much longing. My own voice once more entwined with that of the singer and I granted him but a tiny wish. Whether for pity or something else, I was not yet sure-- but the favor felt right and my heart was at peace.

Before we both realized it, we had passed the Welcome sign to Lake Tahoe. He had listened to my singing the entire journey and I wondered how he endured. I was complimented many times for my talent and had even taken vocal lessons in the past, but I was not confident in this ability.

His eyes sought mines as he parked his car at the first restaurant we saw. I looked away, feeling my cheeks slightly flushed. I was beginning to lose my defenses and that was something I was not willing to grant him. The touch of his hand over mine caused me to jump a little. I was startled by the fire I felt under his touch. I glanced at him over my shoulder, keeping the glare in my eyes firm. This of course only caused him to smile. God, I hated that smile.

"You hungry?" he asked, "Because I'm starving."

I shrugged, "Doesn't really matter..."

"Oh come on, don't be such a party pooper." he admonished, "I want to have an enjoyable evening."

"You have enjoyable evenings with women who willingly date you."

He arched one brow, "Who said this was a date?"

I sighed, "I'm simply saying that--"

He got out of the car before I could finish my statement, walking around to open the door for me. His hand outstretched for me and reluctantly, I took it. Damn, there is was again. That fire. I cursed the tremble of my hand that he clearly noticed as his smug smile indicated.

"We can have a decent meal," he said, looping his arm around my waist, shutting the car door with a push of his hip, "And then... we can go dancing."

"What the hell?" I said, trying to free myself from his hold on my waist, "I told you, I'm not spending the night with you."

"And I told you that you are." he said, pushing me closer against him, "Now quit arguing with me-- it'll give you wrinkles."

Julian directed me like if I were a part of his own body that he could command at will. I hated being treated like an extra organ to a body that I wanted no contact with and so I kept struggling against his grip, but truthfully I liked this heat. It was freezing cold and the heat the contact with his body produced was just amazingly welcome. I rebuked my body for the need it awakened in me, but I would be damned if I showed it.

The restaurant was fancy. I hadn't paid attention at the name of it outside, but once we walked inside I knew it was one of those places. I admired the French decor and immediately noted that French cuisine was the offered specialty. I was not too familiar with Tahoe-- but the quality of this place was probably good. In fact I never thought such restaurants existed near the lake. Immediately a host greeted us, dressed way too appropriately in a suit contrasting horribly against my jeans and Eskimo-like jacket. He stared at me briefly, before smiling at Julian. They seemed to know each other. I arched one brow.

"Welcome Mr. Ferdinand." he said with a slight European accent, "Your table is ready."

I looked up at Julian incredulously, "What, you had this planned?"

He smiled at me, "Well, at first yeah. But after the little incident at school I was going to call off the reservation." his lips brushed my ear as he lowered his head to whisper, "But your snide comment about my sexuality made this reservation not go to waste. I'll show you what I'm made of."

The host stood there, waiting patiently. "We're leaving." I told him.

"Show us to our table." Julian ordered.

The host obviously paid no attention to me as he began moving, while Julian dragged me forward the smile never fading from his lips as he nodded to other patrons. We both looked very out of place and I couldn't help want to run for being under dressed.

Julian pulled out the chair for me and I sat without question. It was best if my jeans were hidden under the table-cloth. Underneath my jacket I actually wore a nice blouse and the heater prompted me to remove the bulky item. It was then that I noticed Julian didn't have his jacket on and the blond pointed to the woman at the entrance, grinning. I blushed. The host smiled and took my jacket, "Don't worry miss. I will hang it for you."

Damn these fancy places. I smiled weakly at the host as I buried my face into the menu. I had never been so embarrassed. Once the host walked away, Julian chuckled softly. "You can stop hiding now." he said, "Soon our waiter will be coming and he surely didn't witness the little incident."

"I'm going to hate you even beyond my death." I hissed, peeking over the menu to glare at him, "You know fast food is more my style."

"Liar." he smirked, "I know how much you love these nice places to eat... but I like French better than Italian-- so pardon the disappointment."

I figured that if I had made a complete idiot out of myself then it wouldn't hurt to make Julian pay all the way. A vicious idea began to formulate in my mind and I would carry it out, no matter if the blond ended up killing me. I looked at the menu and while I did know the courses offered, it wouldn't hurt to pretend I didn't.

The waiter came, greeting us and Julian was first to place his order. The waiter turned to me. "What would you like, madam?"

I sighed and crossed my arms, "I would like... something American."

The man looked puzzled, "But---"

"Ice cream or something."

"You mean for dessert?"

"No." I said, "I mean for right now."

Julian chuckled, "She'll have the same as me."

The waiter looked at Julian then at me and nodded collecting the menus. I frowned. Why didn't any of them listen to me? "Your plans to embarrass me won't work." he said, capturing my wrist, "I won't leave this place no matter what you do, understood?"

I yanked my arm free, "We'll just see about that."

Julian smirked, "As you can see your opinion slightly matters."

"Did you pay them to ignore me?"

"Anticipating your low tactics of annoying me," he paused to kiss my hand, "I made sure that they were prepared for casualties."

"You think you can buy everything?"

"Almost everything." he corrected, "I didn't have to buy your beautiful song earlier."

I cringed. I knew he'd use that against me. "Well, maybe I'll bill you later."

"Nothing that I can't afford." he smiled.

"Probably not." I admitted.

As the appetizers came and the main course order was placed, we remained silent. Conversation would only make our food taste as bitter as the palpable tension between us. I had refrained from commenting at the beginning, but as the waiter came with the main course my tongue itched to be cruel. The food didn't look bad and by no means did it smell bad, but well, I was bored and pissed. Two deadly combinations in my character. It was a soup of sorts and I drowned the spoon in the liquid taking it to my lips. I licked the soup and frowned in distaste. Immediately I stood from my chair and slammed the spoon against the bowl causing the liquid to slatter on the fancy table cloth.

"What is this crap?!" I howled.

Julian stared at me, one brow arched. He looked ticked. Good, I wanted a fight. "Do you call this bowl of piss soup?!" I shouted loud enough for the patrons to hear, "Taste like urine and smells like horse shit. Take it away from my sight immediately."

The waiter stared at me in shocked silence as his eyes fell on Julian. The blond nodded his head slightly and the man removed the bowl from the table and walked back into the kitchen. With utmost calm, Julian whipped his lips with the napkin and folded it meticulously. Then with the same patience he stood and gently took hold of my arm. The patrons were murmuring ill about me and it only made me angrier. Not that their opinion mattered, but there were like Julian; spoiled and shallow-- two things I hated.

"Darling." he spoke loudly, "Even though you suffer from Bipolar disorder my love for you is undying!"

His arms wrapped around me so tightly that he left me breathless. His hands sneaked beneath my blouse as he caressed my back hungrily and my shock was too thick for a reaction. He then planted his lips onto mine with such an intense force that I instantly parted my lips to release them of the pressure. His tongue slipped into my mouth as he explored me with fury that held no lust. He was clearly displeased and he sealed the fight by biting my tongue with his teeth. Instinctively, my teeth sank in an attempt to bite his tongue in retaliation but I ended up biting my own tongue. His lips departed from mine but not before a quick, brute suck to my lower lip. His golden eyes were narrowed as he looked into mine. His hand pushed my head onto his shoulder.

"I hate you with a passion." he whispered furiously, "But I like you just as fucking badly."

I was shaking. From anger and from disappointment. I was angry at how powerless I was against his strength and disappointed in myself for actually liking the angry kiss. He was driving me insane and it literally made me want to both stab him with a spoon and kiss him until my lips went numb. Goodness, for even in that rabid kiss I felt so much desire spread through me. Had I been provoking him for this reaction? Probably, I was suicidal sometimes.

He had caused an equally disturbing scene and a few patrons had stood up to complain to the manager. Even if he had paid for security, things were starting to get out of hand. He looked at me and yanked me towards the entrance. Collecting our jackets he placed his own, as I followed the example and we stepped out into the open. He broke all physical contact from me and he went to his car and wrenched the passenger door open.

"Get in." he commanded.

"No." I said, rooted to my spot about seven feet away from the vehicle.

He tapped his foot impatiently, "You either go in by will, or I throw you in by force."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "I'd like to see you try."

"Don't push me, Eve." he warned, his voice low and menacing. A voice that drove me further into insanity; I loved to see him pissed.

"I refuse to drive anywhere with you in that state."

"What state?" he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm in no state."

"You're mad."

"I'm not mad."

He was lying. The muscles in his jaw were set and he was trying really hard not to carry out his threat. I took three steps back in retreat. "You're very mad and I value my life."

"Sometimes I wonder if you do." he laughed sarcastically, "Now get in the car, I'm losing my patience."

"No." I squeaked.

He glanced at me and the fire of anger in his eyes was burning like the Olympic torch. I thought he had expected me to act like I had at the restaurant, after all that was what he had paid the owners for. He began walking towards me and with each step he took I retreated. Soon his pace quickened and so did mine only his legs were longer and his arms gripped my shoulders before I turned to run. For an instant I felt fear as I looked into his eyes that mirrored so much of my own frustrations. Why did we feel this way towards each other?

"This would all ease up if we had sex, you know that right?" he said coolly, as if answering my thoughts.

"Like hell it will." I countered.

"Now, get in the car... we could do something similar." he smirked.

"I'm not making out with you..."

"Even though you want to..." he said, "But no-- we're going to grind on the dance floor all night long."

He had been pulling me towards the car and I only became aware when I sat on the passenger's seat. He shut the door for me and I had to wonder if he could really dance as good as he made it sound. But most importantly, why the hell was I complying? I guess the way he handled my game was amazing and I was having too much fun to stop myself from toying within further. Yet deep within my mind I heard the voice of reason warning me I was pushing my luck too far. For in some dark corner of my heart his presence had made its home and a small tingle of admiration could be felt within my chest. Any other guy would have drove to Carson and dumped me at my apartment after the restaurant fiasco. You should pull out of the game before you lose all your pegs. And I would pull out... after we came back from grinding. I was in the mood for a night of real dancing.