Always

“Victor is on the phone.”
“Whaaa?” I barely had my eyes focused and she was hitting me with impossibilities. I mean how could Victor be on the phone he didn’t have my number. At least I don’t remember giving it to him. “Who’s Victor?” maybe she was talking about someone else.
“He says that he’s a friend from school.” she whispered holding out the phone to me. I continued to look at it as if she offered poison. I shook my head slowly in disbelief. “Just take it already.”She said shoving it in my limp hand and stomping off. My mom stirred at my back still not opening her eyes.
“Hello?”
“Hey Sean. It’s me Victor.” He began hesitantly.
“I know.” I croaked. My throat still felt a bit raw.
“I was just calling because you weren’t in school today and I was worried about you.”
Silence
“Uhmm...well....I got your assignments for the day. There wasn’t much but at least you can get a head start...”he trailed off.
“Thanks.” I wasn’t trying to be rude, it just hurt to talk and I’m not sure what he’s looking for yet.
“I could bring it over in a little bit.” It sounded like he was gaining some momentum here in confidence.
“No. That’s alright. You don’t have — “
“No problem. I’ll be right there. See ya!”
Silence.
“Honey, who was that?” My mom murmured coming awake. She looked so adorable rubbing her eyes with her hair mussed.
“Just a guy from school. He’s bringing my homework over.”
“Oh dear. I better get up. It’s getting late. I need to get dinner started so we can head on over to Dr. Andrew’s. Make sure he doesn’t stay long.”
Silence.
What was up with Victor? He never came over before, how the heck does he know where I live? I didn’t even know he had my number. I shook my head in confusion hoping to clear the cobwebs of sleep. I ran a hand through my hair with a faint yawn. I needed to get up and get dressed before Victor got here. Even knowing this I flopped back on my bed to stare at my ceiling. I couldn’t seem to think for the dull ache in my heart pounding against my chest. He didn’t want me. It was like a broken record playing over and over in my head. I knew I was pathetic over analyzing like a girl. I couldn’t help it no matter how much I told myself that I was being neurotic. He was the first person to ever show any interest in me. He understood when no one bothered to look that I couldn’t take the solitude anymore. That day by the wall was more than a blunt it was an offer to share an experience.
“Knock knock!” I sat up startled as blinding white hair poked around my door. It was only Victor.
“Hey! Your mom said I could come up.” I didn’t say anything I just blinked back owlishly at him. He stepped into the dimly lit room clutching to his narrow chest two books. He left my door slightly ajar. I hate my door left open for any reason. If it were just two books, was it really necessary to come here? I could feel myself glaring at his tight black jeans that clung to his lean hips for no sane reason. I just can’t stand him. He always looks so perfectly put together. I never really noticed before how large his brown eyes are or the way he tilts his head delicately to the right when he is uncertain. I hate him. I don’t want him around me. I have to get rid of him quickly.
“My mom said you can’t stay long because we have to go somewhere.” I said not batting an eye as he stumbled to sit on my bed. I could see a faint flush on his cheeks as his eyes zeroed in on my chest. His obviously drooling gaze made my skin crawl. I don’t know how I never noticed before his interest in me. Now that I think about it, he was pretty touchy feely. “Stop it Victor.” Victor ducked his head in apparent embarrassment.
“I wasn’t doing anything. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I won’t stay long, p-promise.” He stuttered uncomfortable with my stare. He carefully laid out the textbooks beside me and kept his eyes on the pages. He explained the assignments and answered my questions all without ever meeting my eyes. I just sat there staring at him when he was done. I don’t really know what was in my head at the time all I knew was that he was such a sad creature like myself. Without really thinking about it I reached out and ran my hand through his soft white hair. I felt him flinch and jerk back startled brown eyes finally meeting mine. I didn’t say anything I just kept looking at him and stroking his hair like my mom did for me. I could tell he didn’t know how to react his fingers gripped my sheets tighter and he leaned in a bit to my touch. Then he had to go and ruin it all by saying something stupid.
“Justynee and Derek are going out now. It’s like the talk of the school. Isn’t it simply delish?!”
Silence.
‘Nooo!!’my mind went screaming. This couldn’t be happening to me. He couldn’t be dating that cunt. He’s mine. He wants me. He wants me. Why does Victor think that this could possibly be a good thing? Why did he have to go and say something like that?
“S-S-Sean...please let go...”Victor whimpered his head jerked back at an odd angle. Apparently, I was causing him pain. I stared at my clenched fist in his hair confused. I don’t know how it got there or how I came to be glowering over him. I could read the real fear in his wide brown eyes. No one has ever looked at me that way before. I think I like that look on him.