Pointillism

AN: I promise not to make these asides a habit because I\'m sure they would tend to get boring, but I had to respond to an anonymous comment left on chapter two in which someone asked what race Jamie is. Firstly, I refer her/him to the author\'s note from chapter two and secondly, I\'ll answer directly: I don\'t know and, really, I don\'t care. Since these stories are the world I get to create, it reflects my ideal world in which not only do gay/lesbian/bisexual characters get to have the happily ever after, but race doesn\'t really matter either.

Day Three

Jamie woke on Saturday in the same position as the previous morning- enveloped by Rocky\'s cozy warmth, the familiar sounds from outside the tiny apartment and the familiar sound of Rocky sawing wood- okay, his snores weren\'t that loud- rubbing wood. Jamie silently cursed his brain for thinking stupid double-entendred jokes before his morning piss has taken place and rose carefully from the bed, letting Rock keep snoozing. He hit the can, started the coffee and slithered back under the covers. Rocky mumbled something indistinct and slung an arm over Jamie\'s waist. Jamie melted back against his personal Teddy Bear and dozed awhile.

Fifteen minutes later, the smell of the coffee beckoned and Jamie got up, got dressed and poured two cups. As soon as he sat down to drink, Rocky ambled to the bathroom, emerging three minutes later and dropped himself down in front of his mug. Like the day before, Rock didn\'t seem much for conversation, so instead Jamie made oatmeal. It was more or less successful, though he did leave the first bowl in the microwave too long so it overflowed the bowl and made a mess. He ate that one and gave Rock the good one along with his second cup of java. Rock did that shuddering, I\'m awake now thing again a few minutes later.

\"They want you to work today, James?\" Rocky asked before starting in on his breakfast.

\"Nah. The deli\'s closed for the Sabbath and they don\'t deliver on Sundays either, so I\'m yours all weekend,\" Jamie answered.

\"You got a better coat hidden in your satchel?\" Rocky nodded at the thin one Jamie\'d been using that was hanging on the coat tree. His good one was stolen the first night he was at the shelter. It hadn\'t occurred to him to worry about securing it in June.

\"That one\'s fine,\" Jamie lied. He didn\'t want Rocky worrying about him. He could keep warm enough in the daylight and the delivery truck he was hoping to be spending many paid hours in had good heat.

\"What about those boots? Do they leak?\"

\"I\'m fine, really.\"

\"You need more clothes for work?\"

\"No, and I\'m wearing clean underwear, Mom.\" Actually, they were yesterday\'s shorts.

Rocky got up and started folding the bed linens and Jamie didn\'t argue- he\'d cooked, but he didn\'t want to leave the gloppy mess in the microwave, so, once he\'d finished his food, he worked on that. Once the kitchen was cleaned, the linens folded and the gazelle pushed back up into place, Jamie started rummaging in his things for his clean set of clothes so he could get dressed. He could only stay in just yesterday\'s boxers for so long. Before he found his shirt, Rocky reached down and picked up his satchel.

\"Uh, Rock, whatcha doing with my stuff?\"

Rocky opened a cabinet in the bottom of the bookshelf and started unpacking Jamie\'s things into it, saying, \"I emptied this for your clothes. If you need more room later, I have a wardrobe in the basement. It fits in the corner by the window. Is this really all you have, James?\"

\"It\'s fine. I\'m fine,\" Jamie defended.

\"But you\'ve only got two or three of anything. You\'d have to do laundry every day.\"

\"I\'ll get more when I get paid. Don\'t worry about it.\"

\"We could go today. You could pay me ba-\"

\"No. Rocky, listen, I\'m living in your apartment, I\'m using your toilet and your shower and your laundry room, I\'m eating your food, I\'m sleeping on both your couch and your bed. I can buy my own damn clothes. I have a job now. I\'ll wait until I can pay for it myself.\"

\"It\'s your job I\'m thinking of- you think nobody\'s gonna notice you wear the same two shirts all week? You can get by on two pairs of pants- people expect you to have a couple of pairs of jeans that look the same, but shirts- James, you need more shirts.\"
\"I, uh- shit, you\'re right.\"

\"Don\'t worry, I promise you can pay me back from your first paycheck.\"

\"You\'re too good to me, Rock.\"

\"No I\'m not, James- the world\'s not good enough to you, you know that, or you should.\"

Jamie didn\'t know how to respond to that.

***

Jamie didn\'t protest again about Rocky dragging him out and buying him clothes. He really couldn\'t argue against it without seeming stupid or ungrateful or both and eventually, he started enjoying himself. Rock made him try on whatever caught his eye, whether it was in his price range or not- whether it was something he even had a use for or not. That policy is what ended up with them nearly getting caught making out in the changing room because Rock liked how Jamie looked in a tuxedo. The only thing they bought at that shop had been a tie that was on a half off sale to go with the reasonably priced, off the rack, J.C. Penny\'s suit Rock had made Jamie get so he could go with Rocky to his cousin\'s wedding next month.

Over lunch, a couple slices of pizza, Rocky asked Jamie to put another dent in the everything Rocky wanted to know about him. \"So, I was trying to work out how you ended up on the street, James? You were a collage student- you\'re smart, you aren\'t afraid of work and you don\'t have any addictions. What happened, James?\"

\"It\'s the same old story- I thought my family would accept me- they didn\'t. I came out over Thanksgiving break last year. They wigged out and my father told me not to come back- not unless I was gonna change my choices. It took me a while to realize he was serious. I kept calling, trying to reason with him. I finally got it when I got a notice from the university\'s registrar that my spring semester payment was late. My dad hadn\'t paid it- wasn\'t going to pay it. I was on my own.

\"So, I got a job and saved up as much as I could while I still had student housing, but come the end of December, I had to find a place. I roomed with a couple of other guys for a while, but one of the guys had a habit of selling things that weren\'t his and another of them just had a habit, so I couldn\'t stay there. Then I had a place on my own, but it cost too much and the restaurant I worked at closed, so even though I got a new job, there was not enough money left for rent. That was about the time I met you, so the rest you know.\"

\"I\'m sorry, James,\" Rock said, making Jamie feel guilty for dumping all that stupidity on Rocky.

\"It wasn\'t as bad as it sounds. I never had to do anything illegal or degrading to survive. At least I haven\'t yet.\"

\"And you won\'t, James. I\'m serious about you always having a place with me. It should have been your folks to give that to you- they ought to be ashamed- but I\'m giving you that, understand?\"

\"Yeah, Rock. I- thank you. I wish I could give you the same thing.\"

\"Just promise to always be my friend and you will be giving me the same thing.\"

\"Promise.\" Jamie paused to take a long sip of his root beer. \"Hey, Rocky?\"

\"Yes, James?\"

\"Could we do something about sounding less like a greeting card? I\'m starting to feel a little pansyish.\"

\"You feel like a pansy?\"

\"That\'s what I\'m saying.\"

\"I don\'t believe it.\"

\"Take me home with you and I\'ll prove it. I feel just like a pansy,\" Jamie stated while wiggling his eyebrows in a vaudevillianly suggestive way.

They finished up lunch and went back home to do laundry and bring the wardrobe up from the basement. They got all dirty from the storage area, but that didn\'t stop them from sneaking kisses like a couple of thirteen-year-olds as they waited for the laundry to finish in the dryer. They got caught once by Mrs. Pulaski, who lives on the first floor, but all she did was smile and shake her head while Jamie laughed and Rocky blushed one hundred and eleven shades of purple.

***

They had a light dinner and a heavy make out session on the couch before Jamie reached for Rocky\'s fly and Rocky gently but firmly put him off, then they went to bed- or more accurately, to bed and to couch.

Jamie lay there, trying to get it straight in his head- Jamie understood Rocky wanting them not to go too fast, but Rocky was all over him all day- kissing him in the formalwear shop\'s changing room, the laundry room, the very couch he was laying on. And Rocky was integrating him into his life- giving him a key, spending money on him, giving him his own space in the apartment and any second now, one of them was going to say something, anything, and that will lead to them jerking off together in the dark and then sleeping skin to skin together all night. There were only a few of his boyfriends he\'d actually spent the whole night with, had breakfast with, lent money to- that was getting close- that was investing in someone. Rocky didn\'t seem afraid of being with him, but he seemed afraid of being with him and Jamie couldn\'t see why. The sex was supposed to be the fun part, wasn\'t it?

\"James,\" Rocky spoke into the red all-but-darkness.

\"Yes.\"

\"Can we . . .\"

\"Yeah, Rocky,\" Jamie might be a little confused, but he wasn\'t gonna say no to anything Rocky wanted. He kicked his blanket to the foot of the couch, stood up and slowly pulled his shorts all the way down. Jamie heard the catch in Rocky\'s breathing- he knew he was watching. He wasn\'t teasing Rock so much as trying to pique his interest, trying to get him to want to move onwards and upwards. It\'s not that what they did wasn\'t good- it was, it was just that Jamie wanted more. Jamie wanted Rocky to be able to get past whatever this hot but weird thing they were doing meant to him- to trust him more. So, Jamie teased a little- did a little dance in the dim, red light of the neon 85, and then he reached down and stroked himself a few times facing the Murphy bed before stretching out on it and letting his hand fall into Rock\'s easy rhythm.

Not satisfied with his little turn on the catwalk, Jamie let his mouth run- voicing every small breath, every heated rush of pleasure as he worked. \"Rocky, shit, Rock,\" he panted, \"I want you- Oh God! I wish you would touch me. I wish this was your hand I was fucking, not mine.\" Jamie sucked on two of his fingers into his mouth. \"I wish it was your fingers pushing into me, not my-\"

\"Shhh! James, God, don\'t talk!\" Rocky warned angrily and came shuddering. Hearing Rock come offset his harsh reproach and Jamie still went confusedly spiraling over the edge.

Once he caught his breath, Jamie asked, \"Uh- Rock, you okay?\"

\"Fine,\" he answered hoarsely. Jamie couldn\'t tell how mad he was. He hadn\'t figured on it making him mad.

\"You sure? I didn\'t mean-\"

\"Could you just come here so we can go to sleep?\" Rocky ordered, now sounding more annoyed than mad, like Jamie was a disobedient child to Rocky\'s longsuffering parent.

\"\'Kay,\" Jamie said, sounding the child, too. He cleaned himself up and slid into the bed. Rocky spooned him close, kissed the back of his neck and settled in as if everything was fine. Jamie didn\'t even begin to know how to ask- didn\'t know what he needed to ask, so he didn\'t. He didn\'t sleep much either.