You Don't Know Me

There were more people than Marcus had expected at Sean’s apartment when he arrived with Tony, although he didn’t really recognize anyone. A few people were in costumes, but most were in regular street clothes, which made Marcus feel relieved about his own simple outfit of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He saw Michelle across the room at the same time she saw him. Her eyes flickered over to Tony, and with an annoyed huff, she wandered into the other room. Marcus had no idea what that was about.

“Marcus, hey, I’m glad you came,” Sean found them as they made their way into the kitchen.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Marcus grinned back. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought my friend Tony.” Glancing over, Marcus bit back a chuckle at the expression of complete nervousness on the large and foreboding boy’s face.

“That’s no problem,” Sean told him. “Do you guys want something to drink? We’ve got, like, ten different types of beer in the fridge.”

“I’d love one,” Tony said.

“Do you have a soda?” Marcus asked, his voice a little uncomfortable. He hoped that no one would make a joke about his being lame for not drinking, but luckily they didn’t.

“Sprite okay?” Sean grinned, and Marcus nodded with relief.

“Listen, is Michelle okay?” Marcus asked. “I saw her when we walked in, but she looked completely pissed off and took off before I could even say hello.”

“You have met her before, haven’t you?” Sean joked as he reached into the fridge and grabbed a couple beverages, handing them to Marcus and Tony. “Isn’t that her normal greeting towards you?”

Leaning against the counter and taking a swig of his soda, Marcus smiled wryly. “Yeah, I guess. Do you know what that’s about? Did I do something to her in a previous life, like murder her family, or kick her puppy, or something?”

Shrugging, Sean could just laugh. “I don’t know, honestly,” he told Marcus. He wanted to say that he thought it was because she had a crush on Marcus, but Sean felt that would be breaking Michelle’s confidence too much. “It’s not just you, though, so don’t feel particularly bad. She treats most people like crap. You just seem to be the only one who fights back with that ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ crap, and that really gets under her skin.”

Marcus nodded. “Listen,” he turned to Tony. “Do you mind if I go find Michelle? I’d like to talk to her, and I’m sure Sean can entertain you while I’m gone.”

“Not a problem,” Tony said as he stared at the floor.

As Marcus walked by Sean, he put his hand on his shoulder. “He likes you,” he whispered into Sean’s ear and walked on. Sean turned to look back at him with shock, but Marcus had already left the room. “There was no way that he meant that,” Sean thought as he turned back to Tony. But when he saw the look of apprehension and eagerness in the blushing face of the big, handsome man in front of him, Sean realized Marcus was right. He realized this happily.

-----

“There you are,” Marcus said, sticking his head into a closed bedroom. Michelle was sitting on the bed, staring out the window. “What are you doing alone in here?”

“God, can’t I get a moment’s peace?” Michelle turned and looked at Marcus with annoyance.

“No.”

“What?” Michelle responded incredulously.

Sitting down beside her on the bed, Marcus shrugged his shoulders. “I said ‘no’. No, you can’t have a moment’s peace, at least until you tell me what it is you hate about me so much.”

Rolling her eyes, Michelle’s gaze moved towards the window again. “I really don’t have that kind of time on my hands,” she said sarcastically.

“You know, if we could harness all your angry energy and channel it into a good cause, we could change the world for the better,” Marcus teased, bumping his shoulder against hers. He saw a small smile pulling at the corners of Michelle’s mouth and felt a little more at ease. “Okay, if you don’t have time to list all my horrible qualities, why not name one or two for now?”

Michelle was not going to let Marcus’s charm get through to her. “Well, I don’t like that you felt the need to bring one of your jock friends with you to the party. Were you afraid there would be too many losers and you’d get bored?”

Looking at her with amusement, Marcus shook his head. “Come here for a sec…” he rose, motioning towards the door. “Just let me show you something.”

Warily, Michelle got up and went to the door, looking where Marcus was pointing on the other side of the room. She was surprised to see Tony and Sean in a quiet corner talking to each other. She was even more surprised to see the smile and blush that crossed Tony’s face when Sean flirtatiously touched his arm. Looking towards Marcus, Michelle didn’t say anything when he closed the door.

“I didn’t ask Tony to come,” he told Michelle with a bit of smugness. “He asked me, because he’s interested in Sean.”

“Oh,” Michelle blushed a little. She really had nothing to say that would get her out of this one right now.

“So what else?” Marcus sat back down on the bed, his eyes bright. “What else is so terrible about me?”

Biting her lip, Michelle wished badly she could think of something to say. She was seated right next him, and as she looked up into his face, she felt her cheeks heating. “You, um,” she tried to force herself to say something. “You can be really cocky.”

“I can be,” Marcus nodded, not arguing at all. He was looking at her face, watching her eyes as they looked into his. Normally, when Michelle was in a bad mood - which was most of the time - her eyes were a deep steel gray. But right now, when she was feeling a bit more relaxed and vulnerable, they looked almost the color of water. “I can be conceited, and self-satisfied, and even a little arrogant at times,” he smiled gently at her. “It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, or that I’m going to treat other people badly. And it doesn’t mean that I always feel that way. There are a lot of things I’m not confident about, and a lot of things I have done that I regret.”

Swallowing hard, Michelle couldn’t unlock her gaze from Marcus’s. Their faces were close enough that she could feel the warmth of Marcus’s breath on her skin, and she wanted very badly to kiss him. In fact, she let herself tilt her head a little when she saw Marcus moving towards her slowly. Her eyes closed, but as soon as she felt his lips brush hers, she jumped back.

“I have to go,” Michelle mumbled as she headed for the door.

Too confused to even protest, Marcus just looked over his shoulder as she hurried out of the room. “What the hell was that?” he thought to himself with puzzlement. “Did I do something wrong?” He thought hard about their conversation, and the look Michelle had been giving him, and the way he felt his pulse increase sitting close to her. No, he couldn’t think of any reason why Michelle would have taken off like that.

-----

Marcus felt bad interrupting Tony and Sean’s conversation, but he wanted to talk to Sean alone for a minute.

“What’s up?” Sean asked as he closed the bedroom door behind him, a wide smile on his small, handsome face. His large brown eyes were lit up, and it was obvious he was in a great mood.

“Sorry to interrupt your conversation, ” Marcus grinned, but quickly grew serious. “I just have to ask you something about Michelle.”

Looking a little uncomfortable, Sean crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the door. “What’s that?” he asked.

Sitting down on the bed across from him, Marcus shook his head. “Well, we were in here talking just now, and, well, we kissed… sort of.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Sean obviously didn’t understand. “How did you ‘sort of’ kiss?”

“Well,” Marcus sighed. “We barely touched before she jumped up and ran out of the room. I have no idea what happened.” Nodding, Sean was obviously trying to think about why Michelle would have done this. “It’s just… has she ever had a boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Sean nodded. “One, the summer after senior year of high school. She had been accepted to all these great universities, some with scholarships, but she was insisting on staying here and going to the community college for two years. So her parents basically forced her to be this camp counselor, to make her get out there a little. And she ended up dating one of the other counselors.”

“Was it serious?” Marcus asked, genuinely curious.

Tilting his head and raising his eyebrows, Sean let out a sigh. “As far as she told me, it was serious,” he said. “First kiss, first love, first… you know. But they guy lived in California, and after summer, they sort of lost touch.”

“Is it possible that’s why she took off?” Marcus asked. “Maybe she doesn’t trust guys, or something?”

“It might have something to do with it,” Sean nodded. “But I think it probably had more to do with the fact that it was you.”

“Back to the hating me thing again?” Marcus looked annoyed.

“No,” Sean tried to figure out how to put this. “More like she thinks you’re out of her league or something.”

“Why would she think that?” he looked completely lost.

“Um, no offense, Marcus, but have you looked in a mirror lately?” Sean laughed. “Now, Michelle’s as cute as a bug, but I can see why she’d be intimidated by you.”

Blushing, Marcus didn’t know how to respond. “So that’s what she was trying to tell me by saying how conceited and cocky I am,” he finally said, more to himself than to Sean. “Anyway, thanks for talking to me. I don’t want to keep you from Tony for too long.”

This time, Sean blushed. “He seems really cool,” he said nervously. “But I take it he hasn’t really… come out yet, has he?”

“I don’t think so,” Marcus said, understanding Sean’s concern. “But he is a really good guy. And it took some balls for him to come out to me, just so he could come here and hang out with you tonight.”

“Yeah, it did,” Sean grinned as Marcus rose. “So, listen, I’ll try to talk to Michelle tomorrow…”

“No, don’t,” Marcus, told him firmly. “You are the only person she seems to trust, and I don’t want her thinking that you’re taking sides with me in whatever-the-hell situation this is.”

Appreciating Marcus’s concern for Michelle and her well being, Sean nodded. “Alright,” he said resignedly. “But listen, if you do like her, don’t let her push you away. She really is a terrific person.”

“I get that,” Marcus said as they opened the door. Tony was waiting across the room, looking much happier and more relaxed than he had earlier in the evening. “Hey,” Marcus said. “Mind if I take off? I’m pretty tired.” He was glad that he and Tony had driven separately to the party.

“That’s fine,” Tony grinned, glancing over at Sean.

“Cool,” Marcus patted his arm. “Give me a ring tomorrow. I don’t work until four, so maybe we can go skating before that…”

“Sounds good,” Tony told him.

“Later, Sean,” Marcus looked over. “And thanks for the advice.”

“Anytime,” Sean said. “And just remember what I said. She is terrific…”

“I know,” Marcus agreed, leaving the party.

-----

Michelle had managed to avoid Marcus all week. She avoided being at the café when he was normally there. She made sure to be nowhere near his classes when they were released. She even parked in a different lot, hoping to not run in to him. But she knew she would have to see him in class on Friday, so she decided it might be better to talk to him beforehand.

With determination, Michelle headed towards the café. She knew he sometimes had breakfast there on Friday mornings, often with the same beautiful brunette fawning over him. Michelle couldn’t help but smile realizing she had never seen him respond to that girl in kind. She kept wondering if it were possible that he really liked her, and if that kiss hadn’t just been his normal flirtatious personality coming out.

Sitting alone flipping through a book, Marcus didn’t notice Michelle across the room. She watched as he read intently, sliding some of his soft, dark hair behind his ear. Feeling heat rising in her cheeks, Michelle couldn’t help but smile a little. But then she stopped.

Another girl who had entered the café from the opposite side of the room had also been watching Marcus. She snuck up behind him, and Michelle’s stomach dropped when she watched the vibrant girl throw her arms around Marcus’s shoulders and whisper something into his ear. His head raised and a huge smile crossed his face as he quickly rose to face the girl and throw his arms around her. They both looked ecstatic to be together, and when they sat down still holding hands, Michelle turned around to leave quickly. She could feel tears stinging her eyes, and she felt humiliated. Of course she wasn’t anyone special to him. He probably slept with several different girls on a regular basis. He was exactly who she had first guessed he was.

-----

“You didn’t tell me you were coming here this weekend!” Marcus said excitedly.

“I didn’t know until last night,” Brigitte grinned back, her green eyes sparkling with delight. “I had no classes today, and a girl on my floor was driving back to Queens for the weekend, so she offered to have me come along. So I thought I’d surprise you!”

“How did you know where I would be?” Marcus asked.

“Sweety, you have fallen into more predictable routines in the last year than a ninety-year-old man,” Brigitte laughed. “You had mentioned to me that you had two classes on Friday mornings, so it was easy for me to go online, figure out when they were, and figure when your break would be. And of course you’d be in the café, downing, what’s this, your fourth cup of the day?”

“Third,” Marcus laughed. Looking admiringly at Brigitte, he realized just how much he had missed her and Troy over the past couple months.

“Anyway,” Brigitte continued. “Since you’re birthday’s next week, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to celebrate.”

“I wasn’t really planning on doing anything-” Marcus began, but Brigitte immediately interrupted him.

“Pish posh,” she said, making Marcus laugh. It was a phrase she had picked up from her grandmother when she was young and had never lost. “Even if it’s just me, you and your mom, we can do dinner or something, right?”

Raising his eyebrows, Marcus thought about it. “Actually, maybe we can go to a restaurant or something tomorrow night. There are a few people I wouldn’t mind inviting.”

“Like Michelle?”

“When did I even mention Michelle to you?” Marcus seriously looked perplexed.

“Oh, you just mention her in passing,” Brigitte giggled. “You’ll talk about how she grates on your nerves when we’re talking on the phone, or you’ll write that you two got into another argument when you e-mail me. Come on, Marcus,” she smiled brightly. “It’s me. I can totally read these things in you.”

“Yeah, well,” Marcus was frowning. “Anyway, I don’t think she’ll be coming. I’m fairly sure she hates me now.” Seeing the concerned look on Brigitte’s face, he explained what had happened at the party the week before. “And now I haven’t seen her once on campus all week. I usually see her at least once a day, but this week – nothing. I’ll be surprised if she makes it to the class we have together in half an hour.”

Looking at him, Brigitte gave Marcus an encouraging smile. “You know, I haven’t seen you this bent out of shape over a girl in a while.”

Unable to stop himself from smiling a little, Marcus couldn’t disagree. “I don’t know what it is about her. She’s hostile, and insulting, and difficult…”

“Sounds like love to me,” Brigitte laughed.

“Or maybe I just spent too much time with girls like you growing up,” Marcus grinned. “That I think it’s normal for girls to be openly antagonistic.”

“Possibly,” Brigitte agreed. “But no, you definitely like this one.”

“I know,” Marcus nodded sadly.

-----

“Hey,” Marcus slipped into the chair beside Michelle a few minutes before class began. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” He tried to give her a friendly smile, but he felt butterflies in his stomach when he saw her steely expression.

“I’ve been busy,” Michelle responded coldly. She paused for a minute, and then turned to face him. “By the way, sorry about last week at the party. I’m really glad everything ended like it did. I really don’t know what came over me. And I’d really appreciate if you never bring it up again.”

Shocked, Marcus didn’t know how to respond. “Oh, I uh, oh.” He watched as Michelle turned back to face forward in her chair. “Okay,” he said softly, and Michelle bit her lip, insisting to herself that she was just imagining the tone of disappointment in his voice.

-----

Marcus was already at his favorite Italian restaurant with his mother and Brigitte when Sean and Tony arrived. He looked at Sean hopefully, but in return he got a rueful smile and a shake of the head. He had asked Sean to invite Michelle to the birthday dinner, but obviously she had declined.

Spending the next few hours trying not to think about Michelle, Marcus focused on having a good time. His mother remembered Tony from the few times she had met him when he and Marcus were in high school together. Brigitte immediately adored Sean, and they were talking animatedly throughout the night. Despite Michelle not coming, Marcus was feeling really good about the evening…

That was when Luke and a few other guys that he and Tony knew walked into the restaurant. Seeing him, Marcus prayed that he wouldn’t notice them. He glanced over at Tony and saw that he had already noticed the group. Tony was pale and obviously uncomfortable.

“Hey,” Luke unfortunately saw them and came over, the rest of the guys following closely behind. “Look who’s here.”

Standing up, Marcus immediately decided to take control. “Hey, Luke,” he grinned widely. “Good to see you. Yeah, it’s my birthday. Just hanging out, grabbing something to eat…”

Even Marcus’s excellent acting job of seeming relaxed wasn’t enough to stop Luke. “So, introduce me, won’t you?”

Gritting his teeth, Marcus gave Luke a hard stare. “Mom, this is Luke. He goes to school with me.” He thought introducing his mother first might cause Luke to be less of a jackass, but that didn’t seem to be possible.

“And which one of you lucky guys is here with this lovely lady?” Luke looked between Tony and Sean before motioning towards Brigitte. Marcus knew then that Luke had every intention of outing Tony at that exact moment in front of all his friends. Marcus’s hands clenched in fury, but Brigitte spoke first.

”Oh, I’m not here with anyone, you sweety,” she said in a syrupy voice. “But how nice of you to ask.” Marcus glanced over at her and for the first time saw that she was… well, a girl. She had her hands clamped in front of her, tossing her mane of red hair into her face while she – good lord, Marcus thought, she’s actually batting her eyelashes. He had to hold back a laugh. She was totally playing this right.

“But if you play your cards right,” Brigitte continued, smiling brightly. “I may just have to find you when dinner’s over and get your number.”

Luke took the bait, a look of self-satisfaction mixed with lust on his face. “Alright then, um…?”

“Debbie,” Brigitte offered, making even Marcus’s mother have to stifle a laugh.

“Ok, Debbie,” Luke looked content. “I’ll look forward to talking to you later.”

“Oh, not us much as I will,” Brigitte sing-songed.

“Alright then,” Luke grinned conceitedly. “So, yeah, happy birthday Marcus. See you guys at school.”

“Later,” Marcus said, trying to hold back a laugh. Once the group, led by Luke, were far enough away, the whole table erupted into laughter.

“Excuse me,” Marcus forced the words between his laughs. “But was that a southern accent?”

“Oh, I never could believe the words you say,” Brigitte layed the accent on thick. “Little ole me,” she put her hand on her chest. “Trying to deceive some big, strong, smart man? Heaven forbid!”

Looking over at Brigitte with admiration, Marcus continued laughing. He glanced over at Tony and Sean, who were looking at each other with a mixture of concern and understanding. It was going to be tough for Tony to admit his sexuality, but he could see that Sean was going to be supportive and patient. When he saw Sean quickly reach over to squeeze Tony’s hand, he looked away. He knew how hard it would be, because he was also hiding dark secrets from people he knew and cared about…

-----

Marcus wasn’t sure what he should do about Michelle, so he decided the best thing would be to give her some time. He spent the next month sparring with her as he had before Sean’s party. At first, she didn’t respond, but after a while, he could see that the corners of her mouth would turn up at some of his jabs. He never invited her to outings, but he did attend social events that Sean planned, knowing she would be there.

Finally, as finals were approaching, Marcus got together some courage. “Hey,” he said to Michelle as they were walking out of class one day. “I was wondering if I could ask you a favor…” Looking at him distrustfully, Michelle furrowed her eyebrows but said nothing. “Well,” he continued nervously. “This paper we’re supposed to write… I was hoping you would look mine over, to let me know what you think.” He waited, biting his lip, wondering how she would respond.

Michelle felt a lump in her stomach. No matter how mean she was to Marcus, he still never seemed to stop trying. Sean had explained to her after Marcus’s birthday dinner that the redhead she had seen him with was his best friend, not a girlfriend. Still, she didn’t trust him – or her own feelings when she was around him. Yet, he kept pushing, and she couldn’t quite understand why.

“Well, you can e-mail it to me-” she began, but Marcus interrupted.

“Actually,” he told her. “I think I’d get a lot more out of it if I could show it to you and we could, you know, discuss it.”

Looking into his bright blue eyes, Michelle felt like she was powerless. He looked so hopeful and tense. “Here,” she shoved her notebook into his hand. “Write down your address. Are you working tomorrow?”

“Not until four,” Marcus grinned as he wrote down his address.

“Okay, then I’ll come by your place around noon,” Michelle replied, her heart beating in her throat. “But I have a lot of work to do myself…”

“I won’t keep you too long,” Marcus promised, a wide smile on his face that made Michelle’s heart beat even harder. “And… thanks, Michelle.”

”Whatever,” she said, taking back her notebook and hurrying ahead of him. She hoped that he hadn’t noticed the deep red tinge that had overtaken her cheeks. “What am I doing?” Michelle chided herself silently. “I was finally getting past him…” But she knew that wasn’t really true. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Marcus since the day she had met him…