Sex Series

Chapter 15: Difficult Decisions

Isabelle walked through the hallways alone. It had been over a month and a half since Isabelle had gone anywhere near Snape. In his classes she would sit as far away from him as possible, Ron always at her side. She didn’t know why Ron was always with her, she knew he liked her but, he never did it before when he knew she was single.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Snape wobbling through the hallway and about to stumble down some steps. Snape was never like that. Something was wrong, he was always accurate and proper, not a mess. She decided to follow him out of curiosity.

Snape’s hand was sliding down the wall as he stepped down each step. Isabelle walked slowly behind him trying not to make a noise. When he got to the bottom step he almost tumbled but stood right up again. She could hear mumble. In his other hand that was hidden under his cloak she could see a flash of something shiny.

Snape walked through the hallway and into his potions class room, not closing the door behind him properly. Isabelle rushed over to the door and looked through the little gap. She watched as the shiny thing that she saw in his cloak came out and rested on the desk. It was a large bottle of fire whisky. Snape had become a drunk.

She watched him sadly as he took large swigs from the bottle. What had driven him to do such a thing to himself? She wanted to help him but she didn’t know what to do, he had hurt her and helping him would hurt Harry… and Ron. She sat down by the door and kept her eye on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~~~~
Harry walked through the hallways alone, looking around for Isabelle he was supposed to be taking her out to teach her how to fly a broom but she was no where to be found. He had already gone to Snape’s office but she wasn’t there. There was only one more place and that was the potions class room.

He walked down the steps and through the hallway. In the distance he could see a little colourful lump on the ground resting up against a wall. He walked closer and closer. He knew then that it was Isabelle looking in to the Potions class room. He walked up behind her quietly. He had no idea what she was doing there.

“I knew I could find you here.” Harry said as he crossed his arms. Isabelle turned quickly.

“I’m sorry Harry.” Isabelle frowned.

“You can’t get over him can you?” Harry asked softly.

“No I can’t you know I love him…”

“I know but Isa its for the best you know. Being with him will cause a lot of problems.” Harry sat down beside her.

“Yeah but I can’t help but feel the other way.”

“But nothing Isabelle. It’s wrong you know that! I can’t let you go back out with him.”

“Harry please. Not this again.” Isabelle sighed.

“Fine Isabelle go and mess up your life!” Harry stood up.

“I’m not going to mess it up! I’m going to live it!” Isabelle stated.

“WHO’S THERE?!” Snape barked.

“Lets talk about this another time… That isn’t why I’m here.” Isabelle looked in to the class room. “Look at him.” Harry looked in to the class room. There sat Snape at his desk drinking. “You have to help me.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s become an alcoholic he’ll humiliate himself.”

“You will humiliate yourself having anything to do with him u will.”

“Shut up Harry. I’m serious here. Someone needs to help him. Please!” Isabelle pleaded. “Just look at him.” Isabelle pulled Harry back over to see Snape as he wobbled around his room holding the fire whisky bottle.

“Alright.” Harry sighed. “I’ll help.”

“Thank you so much Harry.” Isabelle stood up and opened the door.

“GET OUT!” Snape shouted. Not bothering to look up.

“Its me. Isabelle.”

“GET OUT!” He shouted again.

“Come on lets go.” Harry tired to pull Isabelle out of the class room.

“No Harry.” Isabelle pulled herself away from him and walked closer to Snape. “You can’t be like this… Severus.” Harry watched as Isabelle walked closer to the angered and drunk Snape.

“I do not care. I can be what ever way I want to be…Miss Levine. Do not tell me… what to do.” Snape slurred. Harry looked at the bottle of fire whisky resting on the desk.

“You do care, I know you do, I know you.” Isabelle walked up beside him.

“You do not know me!” Snape snapped. Harry walked up to the table and grabbed the bottle of fire whisky.

“Drinking isn’t good for you.” Harry said.

“Potter give that back!” Snape growled, lunging at Harry.

“No!” Isabelle jumped in front of Harry.

“Get out of my way you stupid girl!” Snape pushed Isabelle away with extreme force. Isabelle almost flew, her head hitting the side of the table as she fell to the ground.

“ISA!” Harry put down the bottle of fire whisky and ran over to his sister. “Isa are you ok?” Harry picked up her head.

“mm” Isabelle mumbled absentmindedly. A bruise forming on the side of her head.

“Look at what you did u stupid git!” Harry shouted at Snape. “Isa come on.” Harry pulled her up, holding her steady. Snape looked at the girl he had hurt and loved.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured.

“Yeah I bet you are. You don’t go anywhere near Isabelle again.” Harry then looked at Isabelle. “You never go near him again either. Do you understand me! You two are not supposed to be together!” Harry pulled Isabelle out of the potions class room.

“Harry.” Isabelle cried. “He’s drunk what else do you expect him to do?”

“I don’t care, drunk or not he hurt you. Isn’t that enough!” Harry tried to make her see sense. “It looks like you’ve been punched in the bloody face Isa!”

“I don’t care. I love him.”

“You are weak Isabelle. Anyone who wants a man like that is weak.”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are!” Harry walked off. Leaving Isabelle behind crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snape walked over to his fire whisky bottle and picked it up. He looked at it as he thought about what he had just done.

“Stupid Man!” Snape growled, smashing the whisky bottle on the table. The glass shards spilling across the table and on to the floor. A puddle of left over fire whisky formed under his feet as it dripped off the table.

He left the mess and walked out of the office. He was drunk but didn’t care he had someone to talk to and unfortunately the only person was Dumbledore. He hated his wisdom and wise cracks, they just annoyed him so. He walked as steady as he could through the hall ways trying not to make it obvious that he was under the influence.

Hey walked up to the gargoyle and whispered the password that would reveal the spiral steps that would lead up to Dumbledore’s office. He slowly walked up the steps and stood by the office door. He knocked on it 3 times.

“Come in.” Dumbledore’s voice sounded. Snape pushed open the door and walked in. Dumbledore looked up at the very messily presented professor. “What is wrong Severus?” He asked. Snape said nothing and sat down in a chair. “It is not proper to be walking the halls of Hogwarts intoxicated Severus, students mite witness it.”

“I don’t care!” Severus grumbled. Dumbledore looked over his half moon glasses.

“What is wrong Severus? You are not yourself. Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Isabelle Levine.” Snape moved uncomfortably.

“Is there something wrong with your relationship?” Dumbledore sat back in his seat.

“There isn’t one. There hasn’t been one for a while now.”

“Why is that?”

“Because she is a Potter by blood. Because I was stupid enough to let old feelings get in the way.” Snape felt as though he wanted to hit himself in the head.

“Severus I must say that that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my long long life.” Dumbledore stood. “You are right as to say you were stupid enough to let old feelings ruin you’re very fine relationship. Giving up someone you love because of their back ground is not something one should do.”

“I do know that Albus. But I fear there is nothing for me to do about it now.” Snape sighed. “I have ruined everything that I have ever wanted.” Dumbledore knew that Isabelle was a student but he seemed to not have a problem with what was going on, there was something about them, he couldn’t stop them from being… but it had seemed that Severus had already stopped them.

“Severus, in here.” Dumbledore pointed at Snape’s left chest. “You shall know what is right and wrong. You do not need to seek other opinions on the matter. It is in there, you need to search for it.” Snape sat silently for a few moments. Dumbledore was right. It was all in side of him, he needed to find himself.

“Thank you Albus.” Snape stood up. “I shall go and think about what I need to do.”

“Good. And remember Severus… you two are… something special.” Dumbledore’s eye flashed. Snape looked at him.

“Maybe it is not supposed to be now… maybe it is when she is older.”

“If that is truly what you believe then so be it.”

“Yes…” Snape walked out of the office. Still a little confused as to what he should do. He slowly walked back to his office, still intoxicated. He found it odd that he actually talked normally when he was in the office. Right now he felt like a huge bag of dragon crap. He walked slowly, thinking. What should I do? he asked himself.

We have been though this before. It was wrong remember?

“NO it wasn’t wrong… it was perfect.” Severus growled. He walked over to his office door and it flew open to reveal Isabelle sitting at his desk quietly. “Isabelle, get out.” Isabelle turned and looked at him.

“No.”

“Miss Levine, I am very serious here. I am in no mood to have an argument at this present time.” He walked over to his desk leaving the door open. It hurt Isabelle to hear Snape call her Miss Levine again, like he does all students. She was more then a student.

“I don’t really care what you are. Don’t you realise I love you?”

“No you do not. You are too young to know what real love is.” Snape hissed.

“I AM NOT TO YOUNG! I feel it now!” Isabelle shouted.

“Stop it! I do not care what you feel Miss Levine. You don’t love me! No one can love me!” Snape walked away from her and over to the door.

“NO! YOU STOP IT!” Isabelle walked up to him. “Why are you drinking?” Snape closed the door, he didn’t want anyone happen to hear this.

“That is none of your business.” Suddenly he realised that it would not be so easy to get rid of Isabelle.

“Yes it is! Tell me why!” Isabelle was getting frustrated she only wanted to help him. “TELL ME!”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” Snape’s voice erupted, the room felt like it shook. Isabelle stared at him in utter shock. Snape turned away. What had he just done?

“Why do you do what to you do when you say you love me?” Isabelle wondered.

“Because we were wrong” Snape slammed his fists against the door. “Our feelings have nothing to do with this anymore. We should never have ever started anything.”

“But I wanted it… I want you.” Isabelle’s eyes watered. This felt worst then breaking it off.

“Isabelle, Please? Don’t make this any harder then it already is. Just leave…”

“But.” Isabelle reached out to touch his arm. “I don’t want to.” He pulled away from her.

“I don’t know why I ever let us happen.” He looked in to her teary eyes.

“Because you knew it was right.” Isabelle whipped away a falling tear. He raised a hand to caress her hair but he pulled it back when he realised that if he did he wouldn’t be able to let go.

“No. Go!” He opened the door once more. “Just leave now.” He whispered regretfully. Isabelle looked at him and slowly walked out of the room, warm tears sliding down her cheeks.

Why doesn’t anything ever go right for me? Isabelle asked herself as she walked away. A few seconds later she heard the office door slam. She swallowed the rest of her tears and walked as fast as she could through the hallways. She just couldn’t believe the luck she was having. Why did she have to go and get mixed up with him all over again?

She should have listened to Harry. He said leave it, it was wrong He was so, so right. Why was she so stupid? Isabelle felt like slapping herself. She had to learn to listen to other people then her stubborn self. She walked in through the portrait after she had whispered the password. Her head was facing the ground as she walked in.

“Where have you been?” A voice boomed. Isabelle looked up and saw an angry Harry. Isabelle didn’t reply. “You were with him again weren’t you? I told you to stay away from him Isabelle!”

“Well you said I was weak Harry. I just went to prove to you that I am!” Isabelle shouted. Harry and practically everyone in the common room heard. “Nothing happened ok? We just talked and confirmed us being over. Is that ok with you dear brother of mine?” Isabelle muttered with sarcasm. She didn’t wait for Harry to reply and walked right off. Amanda walked over to Harry.

“What was that about?” She asked. Harry looked at her.

“She’s just being really naive.” Harry huffed.

“Can I know what its about?”

“Maybe you’d want to ask her. Its not really my thing to say you know.”

“Alright.” Amanda watched as Harry walked over to a chair and sat down.

*****
Isabelle lay on her bed eyes open and thinking of what she had to do now. She felt odd, something inside of her was missing and she didn’t know what to do about it. She just lay there thinking of Snape’s face as he said goodbye to her.

The dorm room door opened and in came Hermione. Isabelle looked up at her. Hermione walked over to her bed and sat down.

“Isabelle…” Hermione started. “I know about you and Snape.” Isabelle mortified.

“How?” Isabelle mumbled.

“I found this out side the door about a month ago.” Hermione handed Isabelle a diary entry. She read over it and turned red. The contents was a little rude.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Isabelle scrunched up the paper.

“I don’t know…” Hermione sighed. “I guess I didn’t really want to believe it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“Its alright. I can understand why you didn’t. I still think it’s wrong though.”

“It was wrong. It’s over now, has been for a while.” Sarah said sadly.

“What happened?” Hermione asked.

“My real life happened.” Isabelle looked out of the window. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I just don’t care.”

“Oh ok.” Hermione stood. “I’ll see you later ok?”

“Yep, at dinner.”

“Ok, bye Isabelle.” Hermione walked over to the door.

“Laters Mione.”