Not So Many Meetings Iddleddle Earth
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
1,777
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
1,777
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
William The Great Scott!!
The Real Warnings: This is *intentionally* bad. DO NOT read if:
>you can\'t stand it when people try to write accents.
>you have recently read another GSC MST. It\'s not good for your health to read more than one a day.
>you are prone to failures of the sense of humour.
>you are sensitive to fuck-awful grammar, spelling, plot, fics in general, etc.
>you actually write like this. *dear god*
DO read if:
>you hate bad mary sues with a passion unrivalled.
>you are a glutton for punishment.
Here we go (again). Hang on to something. Remember, this is *intentionally* crap.
Today, people, we\'re concentrating on accents and stereotypes. Because Captain Obvious read a great fic where someone was writing in a Southern U.S. accent and it made absolutely no fucking sense at all. Ah do deeclayer. (With some bad spelling thrown in because we all know that bad!fic writers can\'t spell.)
Title: William the Great Scott!
Author/Email: Billy Boyd / itsfucknotfook@scotmail.com
Pairing: William/Peregin
Rating: R but will be NC-17 in later chapters!!!!!!!!
Summary: William is Scotch.
Disclaimer: This is, like, soooo not reel.
Feedback: Oh please oh please oh please I\'ll be your friend forever!!!!
Warnings: This has slash fiction in it. That means male/male slash. If you don\'t like gay mansex then don\'t read this. Because it has gay mansex in it.
Archive: Anywhere that will take it.
Author\'s Notes: This is in no way a Mary Sue. Or whatever the male equivalent is. The character is original and totally make up.
WILLIAM THE GREAT SCOTT!
CHAPTER A; And unexpected Party for one!
\"Fook this!\" William said as he nocked back another wiskey.
\"Fook whit?\" asked his friend the barman. William hopped down from his barstool, his kilt lifting briefly from his knees.
\"Ah\'m fooking d, td, that\'s whit. Ah\'m gooing for a fooking walk.\"
\"Awkeey,\" said the barman, picking up the Scott\'s glass to wash as he watched him leave.
William wondered down the street kicking at stones with his steel-toed doc martins. He was muttering beneath his breath all the time and decided that as he was board he might aswell buy himself a bottle of wiskey and go home and enjoy it in privet. He went to the of licence and found the best scottish wiskey he could find and went to pay for it.
\"Evening William\" said the shop owner taking the bottle from him to put it under his price scanner.
\"Evening Angus\" said William as he knew the shop owner very well.
\"Fine day it\'s bin eh?\"
\"Aye it moost certenly has.\"
\"Planning a night in with this wiskey were ye?\"
\"Aye i was.\"
\"well have a luvly time woon\'t ye?\"
\"Aye\". William pade and took the bottle of wiskey back off the cunter. \"Thank ye Angus.\"
\"Nay problem. Och aye but that\'s a fine fooking wiskey you chose there boy. You winnae be able to see straight after that basted.\"
William grined and left the shop clutching his wiskey in one arm. He wistled as he walked to his home which was an old bungalow on top of a hill. It was raining when he gotre are and went inside to shut out the rain. It battered the thin windows and leeked though the roof. But it was home.
William pored himself a glass of wiskey and took a sniff. Fook he thought that does smell strong. But he downed it in one anyway, kicking off his doc martins and, settling down onto his sofa.
CHAPTER B: Pergein Tuck!
William awoke with astonking headake! He got up, suprized to see he was on the ground now, and he looked around himself.
\"Fook,\" he said. \"Where\' the fooks my hose.\"
He wasn\'t any longer in his living room and no sign of his sofa neither. His bottle of wiskey was still in his hand and he took a grate big gulp thinking maybe he was just drunk or hung over or sumthing.
\"Och, and fook the moornin. I wannae me oon hoose back.\" he shook his fissed at the sky. \"weres my fooking hoose,\" he screemed at the sky. The sky did not ansser. It had a tendunsy to do that, he thort. He herd a laughter behind him and turnd. A smallm man was staring at him in murth. \"Hee hee, said the littel man. \"What are you screeming for,\"
William looked down at him, \"hulloo wee man and whit is yoor name,\"
\"Peregin\" said the littel man holding out his hand, \"peregin Tuck,\"
\"Ah\'m William,\"
\"You speek funny\" said Peregin.
William took a fence at that remark \" do not,\" he said and anywee *YOU* look funny. Ah\'m scotch whitor eor excuse?
\"I\'m a hobbit.\" said the littel man.
\"Och is ye indeed. Will...ah wannae goo back hoome. Noo pleese.\"
Peregin grabed him then and pulls him towords him and plants a bit wet one on his mowth. William leaped back in horror.
\"Whit the hill did you doo that foor,\" he shouted angry.
\"I do it to veryone said Peregin\". Everyone does it here in middle earth\"
William gawped. \"Soo thit\'s whier ah am is it noo? How the hill did ah get here....\" he wandered out loud.
Peregin looked at him in pity. \"You can call me pippin if you want\" he said looking as timid as he felled. \"Come i will take you to my home.\"
\"were is your hoose?\" William asked, \"so we can goo and git to no each other better!\" he had realised that he was very turned in by the kiss but had been angry at first because it had only suprised him.
\"upon Bagend in the shire. All the hobbits live there!\"
CHAPTER C: Bagend!
When thay got to bagend peregin took willstrastrait to the bedroom and started undressing. William watched him undress wandering what was happening but then he realise he was getting horny watching and he pulled off his one pants and went over to join pergein on the bed. It was a very big bed plenty of room for the two men. Peregin reached down and closes his mouth around Williams organ. William felled all of his breathe leave him all at once and screemed at the sealing.
\"Oh god! That is so good!\" he screemed. Peregin jsut looked up at him and grinned...
CHAPTER D:
++Okay I sorry i not postit in some while but i\'m very busy with inglish paper that is due in 2moro!!!!!!! Please I hope you don\'t mind but next part will be up ina few eeks I promis eand thankyou for all the wondefull feedback. I woud likel ideas on were to go next with this so iuf any1 has any sujjestioins i would like thear them very mcuh! Thanks for readin!!!!!!!! Does evryone like my chapter tittles by the way> i trie to make them funny if i can!!!! :p++
*nods to that godawful Sadie fic and nods to Cinderelly. Cinderelly\'s author likes writing chapters where she just puts a bunch of A/N in and nothing happens. It\'s scary.*
P.S. I have notes about that Sadie fic. She says it isn\'t a Mary Sue but in her very first chapter doesn\'t she say the characters are her and her friend and they own themselves? *shrugs* Who am I to question her, eh? As we all know...thanks to Arwen and Eowyn.. :D Thanks, girls!!
P.P.S. The word \"organ\" makes me shudder... *cries*
>you can\'t stand it when people try to write accents.
>you have recently read another GSC MST. It\'s not good for your health to read more than one a day.
>you are prone to failures of the sense of humour.
>you are sensitive to fuck-awful grammar, spelling, plot, fics in general, etc.
>you actually write like this. *dear god*
DO read if:
>you hate bad mary sues with a passion unrivalled.
>you are a glutton for punishment.
Here we go (again). Hang on to something. Remember, this is *intentionally* crap.
Today, people, we\'re concentrating on accents and stereotypes. Because Captain Obvious read a great fic where someone was writing in a Southern U.S. accent and it made absolutely no fucking sense at all. Ah do deeclayer. (With some bad spelling thrown in because we all know that bad!fic writers can\'t spell.)
Title: William the Great Scott!
Author/Email: Billy Boyd / itsfucknotfook@scotmail.com
Pairing: William/Peregin
Rating: R but will be NC-17 in later chapters!!!!!!!!
Summary: William is Scotch.
Disclaimer: This is, like, soooo not reel.
Feedback: Oh please oh please oh please I\'ll be your friend forever!!!!
Warnings: This has slash fiction in it. That means male/male slash. If you don\'t like gay mansex then don\'t read this. Because it has gay mansex in it.
Archive: Anywhere that will take it.
Author\'s Notes: This is in no way a Mary Sue. Or whatever the male equivalent is. The character is original and totally make up.
WILLIAM THE GREAT SCOTT!
CHAPTER A; And unexpected Party for one!
\"Fook this!\" William said as he nocked back another wiskey.
\"Fook whit?\" asked his friend the barman. William hopped down from his barstool, his kilt lifting briefly from his knees.
\"Ah\'m fooking d, td, that\'s whit. Ah\'m gooing for a fooking walk.\"
\"Awkeey,\" said the barman, picking up the Scott\'s glass to wash as he watched him leave.
William wondered down the street kicking at stones with his steel-toed doc martins. He was muttering beneath his breath all the time and decided that as he was board he might aswell buy himself a bottle of wiskey and go home and enjoy it in privet. He went to the of licence and found the best scottish wiskey he could find and went to pay for it.
\"Evening William\" said the shop owner taking the bottle from him to put it under his price scanner.
\"Evening Angus\" said William as he knew the shop owner very well.
\"Fine day it\'s bin eh?\"
\"Aye it moost certenly has.\"
\"Planning a night in with this wiskey were ye?\"
\"Aye i was.\"
\"well have a luvly time woon\'t ye?\"
\"Aye\". William pade and took the bottle of wiskey back off the cunter. \"Thank ye Angus.\"
\"Nay problem. Och aye but that\'s a fine fooking wiskey you chose there boy. You winnae be able to see straight after that basted.\"
William grined and left the shop clutching his wiskey in one arm. He wistled as he walked to his home which was an old bungalow on top of a hill. It was raining when he gotre are and went inside to shut out the rain. It battered the thin windows and leeked though the roof. But it was home.
William pored himself a glass of wiskey and took a sniff. Fook he thought that does smell strong. But he downed it in one anyway, kicking off his doc martins and, settling down onto his sofa.
CHAPTER B: Pergein Tuck!
William awoke with astonking headake! He got up, suprized to see he was on the ground now, and he looked around himself.
\"Fook,\" he said. \"Where\' the fooks my hose.\"
He wasn\'t any longer in his living room and no sign of his sofa neither. His bottle of wiskey was still in his hand and he took a grate big gulp thinking maybe he was just drunk or hung over or sumthing.
\"Och, and fook the moornin. I wannae me oon hoose back.\" he shook his fissed at the sky. \"weres my fooking hoose,\" he screemed at the sky. The sky did not ansser. It had a tendunsy to do that, he thort. He herd a laughter behind him and turnd. A smallm man was staring at him in murth. \"Hee hee, said the littel man. \"What are you screeming for,\"
William looked down at him, \"hulloo wee man and whit is yoor name,\"
\"Peregin\" said the littel man holding out his hand, \"peregin Tuck,\"
\"Ah\'m William,\"
\"You speek funny\" said Peregin.
William took a fence at that remark \" do not,\" he said and anywee *YOU* look funny. Ah\'m scotch whitor eor excuse?
\"I\'m a hobbit.\" said the littel man.
\"Och is ye indeed. Will...ah wannae goo back hoome. Noo pleese.\"
Peregin grabed him then and pulls him towords him and plants a bit wet one on his mowth. William leaped back in horror.
\"Whit the hill did you doo that foor,\" he shouted angry.
\"I do it to veryone said Peregin\". Everyone does it here in middle earth\"
William gawped. \"Soo thit\'s whier ah am is it noo? How the hill did ah get here....\" he wandered out loud.
Peregin looked at him in pity. \"You can call me pippin if you want\" he said looking as timid as he felled. \"Come i will take you to my home.\"
\"were is your hoose?\" William asked, \"so we can goo and git to no each other better!\" he had realised that he was very turned in by the kiss but had been angry at first because it had only suprised him.
\"upon Bagend in the shire. All the hobbits live there!\"
CHAPTER C: Bagend!
When thay got to bagend peregin took willstrastrait to the bedroom and started undressing. William watched him undress wandering what was happening but then he realise he was getting horny watching and he pulled off his one pants and went over to join pergein on the bed. It was a very big bed plenty of room for the two men. Peregin reached down and closes his mouth around Williams organ. William felled all of his breathe leave him all at once and screemed at the sealing.
\"Oh god! That is so good!\" he screemed. Peregin jsut looked up at him and grinned...
CHAPTER D:
++Okay I sorry i not postit in some while but i\'m very busy with inglish paper that is due in 2moro!!!!!!! Please I hope you don\'t mind but next part will be up ina few eeks I promis eand thankyou for all the wondefull feedback. I woud likel ideas on were to go next with this so iuf any1 has any sujjestioins i would like thear them very mcuh! Thanks for readin!!!!!!!! Does evryone like my chapter tittles by the way> i trie to make them funny if i can!!!! :p++
*nods to that godawful Sadie fic and nods to Cinderelly. Cinderelly\'s author likes writing chapters where she just puts a bunch of A/N in and nothing happens. It\'s scary.*
P.S. I have notes about that Sadie fic. She says it isn\'t a Mary Sue but in her very first chapter doesn\'t she say the characters are her and her friend and they own themselves? *shrugs* Who am I to question her, eh? As we all know...thanks to Arwen and Eowyn.. :D Thanks, girls!!
P.P.S. The word \"organ\" makes me shudder... *cries*