Band of Rusty Gold
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
2,124
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
2,124
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
chapter 3
We apologise for this. Hopefully there\'ll be a lot more to work
with in the next chapter.. This chapter can be summed up in two
words: \'Nothing Happens\' ... Or, \'Total Crap.\' Take your pick. See first chapter for disclaimers.
*Orlando\'s still tied to his chair. He can hear the others calling Craig\'s name.*
Craig: What\'s going on here then?
Lij: Orli\'s got shinghing for you.
Sean: Just in there, mate. Says it\'s.. big.
Craig: *raises brow*
Dom: Um.. Sean?
Sean: Yeah?
Dom: *whispers* No fair, Lij only had to endure one chapter.
Lij: What are you guys talking about?
Sean: *shoves Lij and Craig through the window and runs*
Lij: NOOOOOOOO!
Craig: Hi, Orli....
Orli: It\'s a trick, it\'s..!
Dom: *fills in escape route, locks window* MUAHAHAHAHAAAAaHA...aah.
//Chapter 3: Optimum//
Craig: What\'s this? *sits in Orli\'s lap*
Orli: Maybe this won\'t be so bad after all...
Lij: *at window* I\'ll FUCKING GET YOU FOR THIS, DOMINIC MONAGHAN!!!
//\"Japan, Australia, Germany, Wales ... there must be some place\"//
Orli: Aren\'t they all places?
//she cursed to herself as
she flicked through the amount of web sites accustomed to make-up artists.//
Craig: A non-specified amount?
Orli: How do you flick through websites??
Lij: Well, I\'m sure they won\'t mind. Look, they\'re accustomed to it.
Orli: I thought you were trying to get out of the window?
Lij: Dom\'s cemented it shut. *sits down on Craig\'s lap. Rubs against him* Seems like Orli isn\'t the *only* one with a big present.
Craig: Mm, right there...
//Brown eyes
glued to the computer screen,//
OrEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW. *That\'s* why I don\'t like computers!
//she stared longingly at it, a burning ciggie was next to
her//
Lij: She sure likes setting fire to things...
//and reels of papers were the other side,//
Craig: Can anyone say \'Fire Hazard?\'
//as she looked for a new job in the make-up
business, she didn’t care where it was, even if it was in a circus she wanted a job.//
Orli: Well, she *belongs* in a circus anyway.
//‘MAKE -UP ARTISTS WANTED FOR NEW SALON ....’//
Craig: Wanted: Author of this fic for drawing and quartering.
//Ally’s heart pounded with jubilation as she noticed a new post on the message board of
Makeup4artisits.com.//
Lij: Wait, it\'s for Makeupartisits. Isn\'t she a Makeup artist? Won\'t do her much good, will it?
Orli: Makeup art, is it? Or isn\'t it?
Craig: She should see a doctor about that heart condition. *wriggles in Orli\'s lap*
//She glided the mouse over the link and pressed her finger on the
left button.//
Orli: Is it glided? To glide. I glided, she glided, they glidded. We glud. Does anyone know - oh... ohhhhhhh.
Craig: Like that, don\'t you?
Orli: *eyes roll back* Muhhh.
//‘LA’s new Salon ‘Optimum’ is looking for beauty therapists, make-up artists, and Holistic
therapists to start work, click the submit button below to go straight to the salons own
site and receive an application’//
Lij: But.. but.. I live in LA! She can\'t go there! Oh PLEdon\don\'t let her go there! *wails*
Craig: *snogs Lij to shut him up*
Orli: *pouts*
Craig: *snogs Orli*
//She pressed the ‘submit’ link eager to collect the application, she was chuffed that she
had found somewhere, but it was it LA.//
Lij: There\'s nothing wrong with LA. Well, there won\'t be as long as she doesn\'t go there...
//‘Welcome to ‘Optimum’ we range from beauty to aromatherapy. Recently set up in Santa
Monica, LA. We are looking for therapists to start this business and make it grow. Please
fill out the application below, if you would like to apply and click send, we’ll get back to
you via e-mail, Thanks’//
Orli: *as Ally* Instructions.. too.. complicated.. what?
//Ally looked at the screen, scrolling down to where the form was located. She bit her
lower lip, her fingers ready to type.//
Craig: *as Ally\'s fingers* Come on, bitch! We\'re ready!
//But she was sur sure if she should apply, is
as
across the other side of worlworld which meant she would have to leave her family and
friends.//
Lij: I\'m sure they\'ll be *really* cut up.
//Shalini’s words ran through her head ‘I don’t want to lose a best friend’. She
sighed and looked down at the keyboard, then back up at the screen, somehow the
screen seemed to be shouting out at her, calling her, possessing her, for her to apply
and leave her troubles behind.//
Orli: *as the screen* Allllly.... Joiiiiin ussssss.... Jooooooiiiinnnn ussssssss... JOIN US!
//Before she knew it she had filled in the application and
clicked send.//
Craig: Um. Riiiiiight.
//\'Thank you for applying, we\'ll get back to you as soon as possible\' Ally breathed
somewhat a sign of relief and now she only hopped she\'ll get the job.//
Orli: Is someone talking? Who\'s talking? *looks around*
Lij: If she hops enough, she might get the job? Is that really what she thinks? Someone ought to tell her....
Craig: Wonder what a sign of relief looks like?
Lij: Probably.. a ... erm.... the end of this fic is what it looks like! Hah!
Craig: Well, this was... er. Fun.
Orli: You should have come earlier. It was much better when the fluffy gloves were around. *sighs*
Craig: Nah, I\'ll just come in a little while. With a little help, if you don\'t mind. C\'mere. Both of you. *growls*
END.
with in the next chapter.. This chapter can be summed up in two
words: \'Nothing Happens\' ... Or, \'Total Crap.\' Take your pick. See first chapter for disclaimers.
*Orlando\'s still tied to his chair. He can hear the others calling Craig\'s name.*
Craig: What\'s going on here then?
Lij: Orli\'s got shinghing for you.
Sean: Just in there, mate. Says it\'s.. big.
Craig: *raises brow*
Dom: Um.. Sean?
Sean: Yeah?
Dom: *whispers* No fair, Lij only had to endure one chapter.
Lij: What are you guys talking about?
Sean: *shoves Lij and Craig through the window and runs*
Lij: NOOOOOOOO!
Craig: Hi, Orli....
Orli: It\'s a trick, it\'s..!
Dom: *fills in escape route, locks window* MUAHAHAHAHAAAAaHA...aah.
//Chapter 3: Optimum//
Craig: What\'s this? *sits in Orli\'s lap*
Orli: Maybe this won\'t be so bad after all...
Lij: *at window* I\'ll FUCKING GET YOU FOR THIS, DOMINIC MONAGHAN!!!
//\"Japan, Australia, Germany, Wales ... there must be some place\"//
Orli: Aren\'t they all places?
//she cursed to herself as
she flicked through the amount of web sites accustomed to make-up artists.//
Craig: A non-specified amount?
Orli: How do you flick through websites??
Lij: Well, I\'m sure they won\'t mind. Look, they\'re accustomed to it.
Orli: I thought you were trying to get out of the window?
Lij: Dom\'s cemented it shut. *sits down on Craig\'s lap. Rubs against him* Seems like Orli isn\'t the *only* one with a big present.
Craig: Mm, right there...
//Brown eyes
glued to the computer screen,//
OrEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW. *That\'s* why I don\'t like computers!
//she stared longingly at it, a burning ciggie was next to
her//
Lij: She sure likes setting fire to things...
//and reels of papers were the other side,//
Craig: Can anyone say \'Fire Hazard?\'
//as she looked for a new job in the make-up
business, she didn’t care where it was, even if it was in a circus she wanted a job.//
Orli: Well, she *belongs* in a circus anyway.
//‘MAKE -UP ARTISTS WANTED FOR NEW SALON ....’//
Craig: Wanted: Author of this fic for drawing and quartering.
//Ally’s heart pounded with jubilation as she noticed a new post on the message board of
Makeup4artisits.com.//
Lij: Wait, it\'s for Makeupartisits. Isn\'t she a Makeup artist? Won\'t do her much good, will it?
Orli: Makeup art, is it? Or isn\'t it?
Craig: She should see a doctor about that heart condition. *wriggles in Orli\'s lap*
//She glided the mouse over the link and pressed her finger on the
left button.//
Orli: Is it glided? To glide. I glided, she glided, they glidded. We glud. Does anyone know - oh... ohhhhhhh.
Craig: Like that, don\'t you?
Orli: *eyes roll back* Muhhh.
//‘LA’s new Salon ‘Optimum’ is looking for beauty therapists, make-up artists, and Holistic
therapists to start work, click the submit button below to go straight to the salons own
site and receive an application’//
Lij: But.. but.. I live in LA! She can\'t go there! Oh PLEdon\don\'t let her go there! *wails*
Craig: *snogs Lij to shut him up*
Orli: *pouts*
Craig: *snogs Orli*
//She pressed the ‘submit’ link eager to collect the application, she was chuffed that she
had found somewhere, but it was it LA.//
Lij: There\'s nothing wrong with LA. Well, there won\'t be as long as she doesn\'t go there...
//‘Welcome to ‘Optimum’ we range from beauty to aromatherapy. Recently set up in Santa
Monica, LA. We are looking for therapists to start this business and make it grow. Please
fill out the application below, if you would like to apply and click send, we’ll get back to
you via e-mail, Thanks’//
Orli: *as Ally* Instructions.. too.. complicated.. what?
//Ally looked at the screen, scrolling down to where the form was located. She bit her
lower lip, her fingers ready to type.//
Craig: *as Ally\'s fingers* Come on, bitch! We\'re ready!
//But she was sur sure if she should apply, is
as
across the other side of worlworld which meant she would have to leave her family and
friends.//
Lij: I\'m sure they\'ll be *really* cut up.
//Shalini’s words ran through her head ‘I don’t want to lose a best friend’. She
sighed and looked down at the keyboard, then back up at the screen, somehow the
screen seemed to be shouting out at her, calling her, possessing her, for her to apply
and leave her troubles behind.//
Orli: *as the screen* Allllly.... Joiiiiin ussssss.... Jooooooiiiinnnn ussssssss... JOIN US!
//Before she knew it she had filled in the application and
clicked send.//
Craig: Um. Riiiiiight.
//\'Thank you for applying, we\'ll get back to you as soon as possible\' Ally breathed
somewhat a sign of relief and now she only hopped she\'ll get the job.//
Orli: Is someone talking? Who\'s talking? *looks around*
Lij: If she hops enough, she might get the job? Is that really what she thinks? Someone ought to tell her....
Craig: Wonder what a sign of relief looks like?
Lij: Probably.. a ... erm.... the end of this fic is what it looks like! Hah!
Craig: Well, this was... er. Fun.
Orli: You should have come earlier. It was much better when the fluffy gloves were around. *sighs*
Craig: Nah, I\'ll just come in a little while. With a little help, if you don\'t mind. C\'mere. Both of you. *growls*
END.