All in the family

Chapter Two: Dreams

Gwen looked up to her mother’s smiling face and smiled back contentedly staring at those green shining eyes framed by that long wavy red hair. She was sitting on her mother’s lap in the backyard lawn, watching father playing with her baby brother puling his rattle closer and farther from his outstretched hands.

Mother was stroking her fingers through Gwen’s hair and crooning softly to her some soft lilting lullaby to her little Gwenivir. Gwen let her head rest on her mother’s bosom thinking to herself how much she loved her mother and wanted to be just like her when she grew up.

Gwen tried to be a good girl all year since little Fred came along into their family. Mommy always looked a little tired now days, her face more lined up. Gwen tried to hide the hatred and resentment she felt towards the squalling baby and told herself once again that it wasn’t his fault that mommy didn’t look as well since he came. She will be a good girl so her mother could get well again.

Her mother called daddy to come back to her and Gwen was left with the rattle and Fred and tried to keep him quiet and distracted so her mother wouldn’t have to get up and hold him again.

Mom and dad whispered together before daddy leaned down and kissed mommy on the lips, letting his fingers caress the sides of her jaw. They looked so happy together Gwen thought to herself, mommy looking almost like before Fred again and daddy’s shoulders more relaxed and a small smile tugging on the corners of his face.

Gwen decided that she should take her mother’s example and make peace with baby Fred with a little kiss of her own. Smiling widely at his dirty face she tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss his pouty mouth. Wrinkling her nose and wiping her mouth on her sleeve Gwen could hear her father laughing from behind. She hoped he wouldn’t get enthusiastic with the idea and make her kiss Fred again. She could still taste his drool on her lips after he spat on her in surprise just when their lips met and made a rude noise.

She hoped daddy could kiss better than that for mother’s sake. Looking back at her blissful mother she decided that daddy had to be a much better kisser than Fred.

Going to the kitchen to fetch lemonades for her parents she wished this summer would never end.




Gwen could hear them through the kitchen door, talking about mommy. Did they really think she would go out and play in the back-yard just like that? The doctor was talking again. "I don't think there's anything … yes you should give her this twice every … I know how difficult this must be for you Jack but I think she'll be happier here. Not long. What are you going to do about the children, Jack?"

So it was true. Daddy told them mother was going on vacation to get some rest and not to worry about her but she knew the truth. Mommy was going to die and daddy made small talk over the dinner table about it. What will they do without her? Who will take care of them?

She promised mommy she would be a policewoman when she grew up and work really hard at school to get good grades but maybe there was something more important to do. Yes, she will be mommy now for Fred and baby Elliot and take care of everyone just like mommy always did. She will make sure Fred brushed his teeth and went to the bath everyday and help Elliot just like mother did. She could even try and make dinner for daddy even though she wasn't sure he could eat anything she made.

It would be her new mission in life.



The colors were fading and Gwen was spinning dizzily to the floor. She sneezed weakly as dust entered her nostrils and tried to make out where she was in the dim illumination. The cloth covered white shapes in the dusty room were quite familiar and Gwen wondered with a pang how she forgot that manly statue here behind her when last she left this room.

She wasn’t very good in keeping her promises she thought disconsolately to herself. She didn’t take much care for her little brother and sister after her mother died and she would probably never become a policewoman either the way she behaved at school and now her father wanted to replace mother with that homely Rachel woman.

Suddenly a boot flew into her stomach making her forget all her former thoughts and she tightened into a taut ball to push out the pain. The boot was resting next to her nose and she heard from high up above her a deep sneering voice saying “You little slut. Not a day goes by since you left me and already you are spreading your legs to that worthless boy from school and now you start to reminisce about your former kissing days?

“When will you start to keep your promises? When will you start making anything with your life and stop drifting along in the currents?” he growled down at her. She tried to look at his face but the darkness did not reveal more than a silhouette.

“I’m sorry.” She cried. “What should I do? Please tell me what to do.” Will he make her swallow his manhood once again? Or maybe outright fuck her. That was all she was good for anyways.

“You made a promise to take up your mother’s place and I want to see you keeping it or I will beat some sense into that silly bottom of yours.” He yelled. She looked at his boot again and tried to decipher some sense from it. Why did he keep yelling at her when all she wanted him to do was use her? Fuck her troubles away once more for the moment at least. It was too late in any case. Rachel was there to take care of them and she could do nothing to change it. Her father wanted Rachel and nothing she said made any difference.

She looked once again at the dirty boot in front of her. It looked a little like the boots her father wore to work. Her father again. Did he really love Rachel as he once loved her mother? What could he see in her homely round body when compared to mother’s slender, perfect figure? She remembered once again that kiss on the terrace from her childhood’s days and now as a grown up could grasp the passion that they shared there for her to see.

It was almost ten years now since her mother died and father must be so lonely without her. He must have tried to find something to hold onto and that was how Rachel snagged him in her clutches.

How could she deny his needs and still keep their family as it was, a shrine to her mother’s memory? She might look a lot like her mother except that she was taller than her and her hair was a dirty red and not the pure scarlet curls of her mother, but she didn’t seem to hold the power to keep their family together.

Even if she paid more attention to Fred and Elli, father would still force Rachel into their midst. It was father she had to give back what mother’s death had taken from him, that passionate loving kiss she saw all those years ago. How could she give that back to him? Make him once more the loving caring father she remembered from those days instead of the man who tried to force foreigners into their family and didn’t want to become too close to them lest he lose them too?

She looked up at the now familiar silent figure hovering above her, his short graying hair barely seen in the rising light of dawn. Could she give father the love that her mother once bestowed on him and make him forget that any other woman existed in the same world? Will he see her for the woman she bloomed to be or only the bud she once was?

“Jack” she whispered softly to herself and knew she wasn’t drifting anymore on the aimless currents of life but hurtling strongly to her blossoming destiny.

She leaned forward and kissed that hard chafed boot in front of her in silent benediction for all it taught her this night, closed her eyes fo a moment and woke up. Today she will give substance to her empty promises and wishful dreams. Today Jack will know he wasn’t alone any more.

Smiling tearfully Gwen got up and started thinking what she should do.