The Confession

-holy shit. it's been 2 years! sorry guys x_x
-so, i had nothing to do the whole day(finally! been busy all year!!) and i'd decided to browse through my files and came across my old horribly incomplete fanfic. i know i've failed you guys and i feel really shitty about it. i wrote this next chapter(3) a few months ago .... okay fine i wrote it a year ago. i'll try to continue this story more ... geez. writing in first person is haaard.
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"Go on," whispers Conrad.

I turn to glare at him. "No," I whisper back.

He puts his hands on my shoulders and whispers again: "Do you want me to go first?"

"No. And I don't want to go at all!" I walk out of the room and into the chapel. I sit, all alone, and cross my arms.

I hear someone walking towards me. "Isabel," says Conrad. He strokes my neck and kisses my head. He sits down next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. We sit there for a long time. The halls are getting quieter. Everyone has probably left. "We can go home, if you want. Actually, I want to go home, too."

"No .." I stand up and walk out of the chapel. I see the confessional. His light is still on. Everyone has gone. Is he waiting for me? I'd like to think so ...

I walk in.

I kneel on the narrow pew. Why am I here again? I'm killing myself.

"Hello?" he whispers.

That startled me. "Oh, hello. Sorry."

"That's okay," Father Patrick chuckles a little. "You may begin."

"Um. Bless me, father, for I have sinned."

"Mm-hm .."

"I .. I'm guessing you don't recognize my voice .."

Silence.

"Father?"

"Um. Yes?"

"I'm really sorry about what happened and .." I scratch my head. Shit. "... um, I'm just here because I .. we got off on the wrong foot. I mean ..."

"It's okay ..."

"So we're cool?"

He sighs loudly. "I was actually hoping to speak to you again. I'd just like to ask you .. were you sincere when you said you have a .. um, how should I put this .. a crush on me?"

"Yes."

He sighs again. "You know I'm a priest."

".... yes."

"You know priests can't have girlfriends ..."

"I can't help it." My voice trembles as I speak. "You .. you're so .. nice."

"Nice?"

"And ... you're just nice." Puh. Nice save.

"What about the boys at school? They can be nice, too."

"No ..."

"My dear, you're still very young. I'm sure you're a beautiful girl and you will find another nice boy to be with."

"But I don't want another boy!" I cry. I feel like I just broke a rib.

"Please, don't be angry with me."

I start to cry. I wipe the tears off my face with my sleeve.

"Don't cry, please .."

"There's nobody else for me .."

"What about your family?"

"I hate my mother and she hates me. My father left us years ago ..."

"Why does your mother hate you? I'm sure she doesn't."

"Because she's an anti-Christ! She's fake! Everyone in this church hates her .. you know her! Mrs. Gohn?"

"Mrs. Gohn? Really. Well! I guess I was right."

"Right about what?"

"About you being very beautiful. I see you with your mother all the time. I must say you're very, very pretty."

I blush hotly. Snot from my nose slide down to my lips. I wipe it off with the back of my trembling hand. "Tha-thank you. I'm really not."

He clears his throat. "Well, your mother does love you. Deep down inside she does. After all, she is known for hiding her true feelings."

"Sure .."

"So, your mother told me about your brother. Conrad the writer?"

"Oh. Yes. He's my best friend ... my only friend."

"Oh."

"I meet a lot of jerks ... maybe I'm the jerk."

"How so?"

"After our last encounter ... you've probably figured out how .."

"Hm. You sleep around a lot, huh?"

Wow. I didn't expect that from him. "Well ... I just can't relate to society is all. Especially the girls at school ... they try to destroy me all the time .."

"Destroy you?"

"I don't know why ... I talk to a boy and the girls get angry .."

"Hm. They're jealous of you. Do the boys you talk to have girlfriends?"

"Yes ... I guess. When the rumors went wild .. I went wild. I didn't do anything to these girls and they attack me for nothing. So I gave them what they want and make the rumors true .."

"Oh, my dear. That must've been difficult for you .. but you didn't have to do that."

"These girls would beat me up and try to ruin my face!"

"Hm. Have you spoken to a counsellor about this? That's very traumatizing!"

"Yes .. that didn't work .."

"Is this still going on?"

"Yes .."

"My dear, you can talk to me anytime whenever you're in grief .."

"I don't think that's going to help. No one can help me .."

"Wait just a minute .."

Humiliated and frustrated, I stand up and walk out of the confessional. Just when I am about to leave the hall, Father Patrick grabs my arm.

"Please. Let me help you," he whispers.

I turn to look at him; my chin lifts due to his height. God, he's gorgeous. His sexy lips are just asking me to lick them. I blush greatly and say, "The only way you can help me is to love me."

"I do love you. The way God loves you."

"That's not good enough." I take his hand into mine and hold it tight.

"Isabel ... I .."

We hear footsteps echoeing towards us. He pulls his hand away.

Conrad walks into the room. "Oh, you're done!"

I nod. "Yes, yes." I turn to Father Patrick. "I'd better go now .."

"No wait, wait," says Conrad. He holds out his hand to Father Patrick. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Isabel's brother, Conrad."

Father Patrick shakes his hand. "I know. I've read one of your books."

"No way," chuckles Conrad. "Isabel, are you feeling okay?"

I shake my head.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Father. My mother has said good things about you."

"And she you. And, may I please speak to Isabel in private, Conrad? It won't take long."

Conrad grins at me greatly. I glare back at him and tighten my lips.

"Sure, no problem. I'll be out in the car, Izz." He walks out.

Father Patrick writes down something concise on the corner of a piece of blank paper. He rips off the corner and gives it to me: a phone number.

"I would like us to be friends and I really want things to be good between us. You can visit me or call me whenever you like. I'm always here."

I stuff the piece of paper into my pocket and smile broadly. "Thank you." I'm feeling hopeful.

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