A diary of a male nursing student

As he was still 15 minutes early, Richard sat himself down, relieving the heavy burden of his backpack off his shoulders. He felt drowsy-no doubt a side effect of the anti-histamines, so he closed his eyes, resting them temporarily. He was in his happy zone now, as his uncle\'s constant amusing stories swam across his mind.

\"There so many beautiful nurses Richard, they always pinching my ass when I walk past them. I remember I work at public hospital down road, I make STD calls (lonstanstance) but I call through the reception before I make call. Reception woman, she had sweet voice Anne, and a wicked sense of humour, one time I ask make an STD call she patched me through the AIDS hotline! Ha ha ha They all laughing when I call back. So I ask out for coffee, of course when say coffee mean sex. But doesn\'t sound right when you say I ask for sex, I not Neanderthal. They call me Big Joe at work, nothing to do with beer belly either ha ha ha.\" Richard\'s uncle said, undoing a notch on his belt.

\"Wow Uncle Joe! I wanna be a nurse when I grow up\" an attentive 12 year old Richard piped up.

\"I wanna be a nurse.... I wanna be a nurse\"

Richards voice slowly faded away as he awoke to the sound of laughter. He could tell that his mouth was open as it was dry and his tongue stuck to the top of his mouth. He quickly tried to dry the thin trail of saliva trailing out his mouth. His cheeks reddening in embarrassment.

\"Sounded like a big V8...\" he heard one student laugh.

Richard fumbled with his glasses, putting them on. He looked up and saw people laughing as they looked at him, lining up outside the classroom. He saw amongst the group of people lining up; his crush, the blonde goddess amongst them laughing and looking in his direction every now and then. He knew that she was talking about him, and not in a nice way either. Sighing inwardly Richard got up, straightening his green cargo pants. The group looked at him out the corner of their eyes and burst out laughing again. Richard looked at himself critically and noticed that his zipper on his cargo pants had mysteriously come undone. Oh no! this can\'t be happening, this is the worst day of my life! Richard thought to himself as he hurried towards a male cubicle with the sounds of laughter haunting him as he went, like the maniacal laughter of a hyena. Once inside the cubicle he looked at his cargo pants in disgust. Another crappy present from Aunty Jane. Richard fumed to himself, he didn\'t know why he called her Aunty, she wasn\'t related to his family in any way, she was white. But her mother had made sure that they call her Aunty as she was their neighbour and a middle aged single woman. Another one of those quirky asian things Richard muttered to himself as he fiddled with the zipper. Aunty Jane was always over as she chatted to his mother, god knows how she could understand her mothith ith her clipped English, it was as if she were a part of the family as she often stayed over for dinner telling her incredibly boring stories that his mother and father seemed enthralled about. But the thing about \'Aunt Jane\' was her incredibly bad choice of presents. Two years ago she had bought Richard five $2 cartoon DVD\'s for his birthday. She didn\'t seem to have any family or friends so was often around hovering in the background during any family event. She thought Richard liked that kind of cartoons, it was his 18th birthday. What made it worse was the fact that she didn\'t remove the small price tag sticker on the DVD covers. Last year she had bought him a pair of navy green cargo pants, and for once Richard was able to wear it more than once. But now looking down at the offensive pair he swore vengeance. He tugged at the zipper again. It was stuck, growing impatient with the pants he pulled harder. Zip! The zip went up and Richard sighed a breath of relief. He looked down at the cargo shorts and was shocked at whe she saw. The zip was still undone. In a panic Richard zipped the zipper back down then back up. It still remained undone. It was broken permanently. Oh No! what am I going to do!?! I can\'t go into class with my zipper undone. I also can\'t leave my first university tutorial, it\'s supposed to be the most important one. As his mother\'s lecturing voice echoed in the recesses of his mind.
Richard\'s mind raced. Finally he came to the conclusion that he should just walk into the classroom carrying his bag over his groin casually. Nobody would know any different if he did that surely?

With great apprehension he left the cubicle and over to the classroom. Everyone was already in the classroom and sitting down. Crap! Shrugging his shoulders to relax him Richard walked into the classroom, the shoulder bag casually slung over his shoulder to cover up his groin. Richard didn\'t look up at the teacher or anyone as he quickly made his way to his seat, sitting down.

\"Bags in the lockers at the front please\" an authoritative voice boomed out.

Richard looked up. At the front of the classroom was a middle aged looking man sitting in the chair where the teacher should be sitting. Who is this old fool? Richard thought to himself, surely he is just some random person sitting in the teacher\'s chair. Richard looked towards the door awaiting the arrival of the teacher dressed in a lingerie outfit with lacy white stockings.

\"Excuse me, bags. Front.\" The teacher said, slightly louder pointing towards the bag rack where everybody else\'s bag lay. Richard could feel thirty pairs of eyes staring at him in expectancy. Not out of want, but rather out of annoyance. This is the worst day of my life. Richard thought to himself as he emptied his books onto the table and made his way to the front. Hastily putting the bag down with the others he walked back to his seat casually so as not to highlight the fact that his zipper was fully exposed. He was halfway back to his chair when somebody piped up.

\"...x,y,Z!\"

The whole class erupted in laughter as Richard made his way back to his chair. His cheeks burning in shame.

\"If you continue expose yourself and interrupt my class I shall have to ask you to leave.\" The teacher said in a serious tone that quietened everyone immediately.

\"S-s-sorry sir\" Richard answered meekly.

\"Right, welcome everyone to your first class of nursing theory one. I am your teacher for this course Mr Brightwell...\" a few people giggled at his surname. Richard looked at the teacher, in denial. The man looked to be at least 50 years of age, his grey streaked hair had brown throughout it, the last remaining streaks slicked back with his grey hair, highlighting the man\'s incredibly wrinkled face. Richard stared at the mans face, it had creases and wrinkles everywhere making the man appear positively ancient. It reminded him of a pug dog, but somewhat uglier. The teacher\'s demeanour was abrupt, and his tone of voice was sharp. This was not one man to mess with. He wore a faded blue long sleeved shirt, curled up at the sleeves to reveal his hairy arms. Much like a gorilla Richard thought to himself in disgust as Richard compared his own sleek hairless arms. Richard continued tudy udy this abomination in front of him, his paunch lay hanging over his belt, and his beige pants held up his rather spindly looking legs.

\"Now Role call... Amy Anderson\"

\"Here\" a meek voice replied. Richard looked to the source of the voice and noticed a quiet looking brunette with glasses.

\"Brianna Henderson...\"

\"Here..\"

and so it continued. Until he reached Richards name.

\"Richard.... Wang.\"

The whole class erupted in laughter. Richard buried his head in shame.
\"Here...\" he finally managed to croak.

The teacher looked at him for some time smiling until the laughter subsided.

\"Right now onto today\'s lesson...\"
Richard continued to listen half heartedly as his mind began to wander. The itching sensation began to crawl at the back of his neck and was steadily making its way down his back. He clenched his fist as they shook in effort, as he resisted to scratch his body til it was raw. Eventually the itching subsided and Richard was left feeling tired. Two hours later and the tutorial ended. Richard began to wonder how much worse this day could actually get. But it was lunch time now and he had 2 hours to kill before his next lecture.

He walked around the campus until he was familiar where everything was. Walking to the canteen he took out the small microwave container his mother had given him as he made his way out of the house this morning. His stomach was ravenous as he hadn\'t eaten at all whole day. He walked into the canteen, the area was lush with a large range of food available to the studying student. To the far right in the corner of the room was a small microwave, available for the poorer student who couldn\'t afford the luxury of the canteen food. He took out the package and reheated it in the microwave. He didn\'t check the contents as he never thought what his mother could have put in it. After 2 minutes the microwave pinged, opening the door to the microwave, the smell of his food wafted out, surrounding the near area with its aroma.

\"Oh dear god! What the hell is that smell?\" an elderly woman said waiting in line behind him.

Richard opened up his microwave container and the woman was instantly engulfed with the smell of his mother\'s dried fish with chilli paste.
\"I think it\'s dried fish...\" Richard said looking at it inquisitively and poking the hard brown skin of fish.

The woman gagged heavily as she left the line, making a beeline to the women\'s toilet with her hand covering her mouth. The other people in line mumbled underneath their breaths as they looked at him dirtily. Much like the way people looked at the homeless person on the train this morning. Richard caught the words \"Dirty.... Asian... inconsiderate and foul\" as he hurried to an isolated seat in the corner of the canteen.

Richard felt miserable as he ate his lukewarm rice and dried fish with the plastic utensils supplied by the canteen. He would haikediked to reheat his meal for another minute but the thought of the people giving him vehement glares stopped him from moving from his seat. He felt someone\'s presence nearby sitting down next to him and he looked up fearfully, afraid that it was another angry person out to get him. Much to his surprise/relief/dismay it was just Bill. Bill opened up his lunchbox, oblivious to the pungent odours emanating from Richard\'s microwave container. He looked up at Richard and smiled.

\"Dried fish and rice eh? I wish I had something that exotic, only got the ham and cheese sandwiches today.\" Bill said removing a large piece of plastic which he began to unravel.

-\"Exotic? It\'s only leftovers.\"

\"Still, it beats this plain old crap any day\" Bill said collecting the spit at the back of his throat and spitting on the floor next to him. The old lady that had almost vomited earlier when Richard was reheating his food saw this and walked over to an oblivious Bill.

\"Ex-cuse me?\" The old woman said, adjusting her glasses that hung on the edge of her nose precariously.

\"Oh no...\" Richard said underneath his breath looking at the angry woman looking at the both of them.

-\"What can I do for ya darlin?\" Bill said unwrapping his lunch.

\"For starters I\'m not your \'darlin\', and secondly did you just spit on the floor?\"

Bill let out a low whistle.
-\"Who got out of bed on the wrong side this mornin? Aren\'t you abit old to be menopausal?\"

\"Ex-cuse M-\"

-\"No, excuse your damn self woman, I seen your kind before, all high and mighty. You come round here with your nose stuck up in the air so high you cant see in front of ya coz your nostrils are at eye level thinking you can just push everyone around. I\'m trying to enjoy my lunch with my good friend Richard here, who I must say you were extremely rude too earlier. Get off your damn high chair and go annoy someone else with your childish behaviour.\" Bill finished hawking and spitting on the ground next to her, causing her to jump back so as not to get hit by his flying spittle.

Richard looked at Bill in shock as he continued eating his ham and cheese sandwich as if nothing had happened. He looked at the woman who was still standing there infuriated, her whole body trembled in anger, her fists tightly clenched at her side. She looked like she was going to explode, but instead she made a disapproving humph before adjusting her glasses and turning on her heel, her face contorted in a look of loathing as she stalked away. Her heels clicking against the floor as she went. Richard could almost see the black cloud of anger hanging over her head as she pushed two people out of her way, causing them to apologise profusely as she stormed past them.

Richard looked at Bill who seemed oblivious to what he had just , as, as he continued to eat his sandwich.

\"What the hell just happened there?\" Richard said.

-\"Oh her? I wouldn\'t worry about her that\'s just Margaret \'bulldyke\' Henderson.\"

\"Who?\"

-\"Margaret Henderson, she\'s the head of the school of nursing. There\'s some rumours about her you know, about her sexuality and all. Coral even said that she was giving her the \'eye\' if you know what I mean.\"

\"What!?!\" Richard said, his face suddenly going pale.

-\"Yeah, but I 't t't take much notice of rumours, not really my cup of tea.\"

\"You just told the head of the school of nursing, OUR COURSE where to go and your going on about rumours concerning her sexuality? I can\'t believe you, are you freaking psycho?\"

-\"Come on now Richard, aren\'t we being abit melodramatic?\"

\"MELO-DRAMATIC? I\'m on the head of the school of nursing\'s hit list on my first day at university and your telling me to be melodramatic? This is turning into the worst day of my life.\"

-\"Now sit down young Richard, your making a scene and your dried fish is getting cold.\"

Richard obediently sat down. He felt drained, everything he had hoped about university was turning head over heels, he felt like his life was slipping away. He poked at his dried fish with his plastic fork, it was cold as the plastic fork failed to pierce its rock hard skin.

\"Now... Back in nam\' I had to deal with assholes like her, except they had guns and they were all shooting at me. Unfortunately I don\'t have a gun now, otherwise we wouldn\'t have to worry about all this.\" Bill said waving his hand at the room.

\"But one thing I learnt from nam, besides the fact that you should never trust an Asian pimp wearing a purple velvet suit is that you cant let these \'big\' people tread on you. You do and you end up with a bullet wound, well maybe not a bullet wound but you get hurt. She cant do anything, trust me she won\'t. Not whilst she knows that I would make such a scene that every news crew from here to Tim-buck-two would hear about it.\"

Richard sighed as he rested his head in his hands rubbing the sides of his temples in an effort to pacify the out of control buzzing of his mind in panic mode. He had lost his appetite as well, not that the inferior plastic cutlery of the cafeteria had much of a chance against the tough amour plated cooking of his mother\'s dried fish.

He looked at his watch. He had one more class, then that would be it for the end of this nightmare of a day. Richard smiled to himself as he said his farewells to Bill, how bad could it possibly be? Unbeknownst to Richard, it was about to get much worse.