Gravity of Love

(three)

My mind drifted as Ren drove; only half listening as he droned on and on about what his day was like. Normally I was a rapt audience, soaking in anything and everything that was pertaining to the soap opera of Ren Hackfield's—I'm sorry, I mean Halenfield's--life. Besides, I would like to think that my day was a tad bit more interesting than his. I mean, who can have an amazing, yet mildly disturbing, sexual encounter with a stranger, actually have meaningful conversation afterward only to end it all by being nearly strangled to death? Let him try and beat that! Hah, the bastard!

"So we should be able to buy the building without much problem, but would you---Gavin? Gavin!"

"Huh?" I had been staring out into space through the car window and turned my head quickly to face him.

"Have you been listening to anything I've said?" I couldn't reply because I truly hadn't been.

"You're not zoning out on me are you?" He asked vehemently. "What ever happened to the cool, calm 'nothing-gets-under-my-skin-Gavin'?"

I snorted. Now he was trying to tease me, see if I care.

"He's not here at the moment," I sneer, my temper getting the best of me, "his part will be replaced by the cool, calm 'who-gives-a-rat's-ass-Gavin'." I waited for a response…a threat; a well aimed hit, but received nothing.

"That's the kind of shit I'm talking about," he muttered through clenched teeth, "that damn smart mouth of yours."

I chuckled. "You seem to like my mouth," I said slyly, "among other things."

"You ass," he growled, but there was lightness to it as if he couldn't decide whether to yell or laugh. "Don't change the subject. How you act in there is a reflection of me and I won't have you screw it up, you hear me?"

I spared him an annoyed glare and sighed. "I hear you, Ren. What am I gonna do? Set fire to the place? I can handle a few vamps."

He laughed, a sharp bark of sound, and spared me a quick glance from the road.
"No freaking out like last time?"

My mind briefly revisited my first encounter with a vampire when I was eighteen. It didn't go too well due to the fact that she was way too friendly and I was way too stupid and hotheaded to keep my fists from meeting her face. It didn't hurt her, (I wish to God it had) but it sure pissed her off and it took a lot of asskissing and apologies to keep her from killing me.

"As long as they don't fucking touch me," I muttered, remembering her cold, dead hands exploring my warm flesh trying to heat them up by putting them in my pants. Almost as soon as those words escaped my lips I felt a hand slap the back of my head so hard I was jerked forward. Ren was precariously watching the road and me at the same time. He was breathing hard and his eyes were wide, meaning he was now officially pissed. Good job, Gavin, make things worse for yourself!

"They can stick their fist up your ass for all I care tonight, Gavin, I mean it!"

The car slowed down and he turned sharply unto a dark, secluded road that I hadn't even noticed was there until just that moment. As we drove further down the road a mansion towered ahead, its yard lit with tall elegant lampposts, lighted fountains and elaborate shrubbery. It was bigger than Ren's place, almost castle-like. Typical vampire hangout. All it needed was a pink neon sign saying 'vampires live here, leave all holy items at the door'. There were also at least two-dozen cars uniformly parked spanning the front of the house. I ran cold, despite the warm car. How many of these undead fuckers were in there? I suddenly didn't feel as brave as I was earlier; I was getting downright nervous. Hell, how could anyone blame me?

He continued to coast down the gravel road, bypassing all the other cars in the front and drove around towards the back of the mansion.

"Where the hell are we going?"

"We park around back in the garage." Ren replied simply.

Interesting. "Why aren't we parking in the front like everybody else?" I asked.

Ren laughed. "Because we're better than those fuckers, that's why." He replied simply. Oh, I see.

He was now driving around to the side of the house where a plain garage was conveniently hidden; at first glance you would have thought it was a regular part of the house. He took out a remote from his pocket and the door slowly lifted and he drove in.

Ren cut the ignition and undid his seatbelt. He got out and I followed suit, steadily becoming more and more nervous at the thought of being in such close quarters with vampires and God knows what else. I would rather have a night full of clients than face what was going on in that house. I looked around and noticed there were two other cars beside Ren's in here and wondered whom they belonged to. The black Avalanche caught my attention for some reason. I knew it was a popular car, anyone could have one, but this one had red streaks across the sides and hood and looking closer I noticed the interior was black leather with the same red swirls all over the seats. My stomach did a back flip down to my toes. I knew that car….I had spent quite some time in it when the owner wanted to be spontaneous and fuck me right there on the front seats. Mannix. My heart dropped; I knew that once Ren got preoccupied inside Mannix would swoop down on me like a vulture and aggravate me to no end. But since he was here, David should be here too, right? A strange, yet comforting, feeling ran through me. I was actually anxious to see the dude again. Weird.

I realized briefly that I was stalling; I didn't want to go into that house, even if David was in there. Ren slammed the car door and walked around to my side since I had yet to move. He stood in front of me and leaned close and I instinctively shrank back. My back hit the car door with a small thud, the cold of the metal seeping through my paper-thin shirt as I tried to will myself to phase through to the other side to escape his temper.

"You don't seem so sure of yourself now, do you?" He spat harshly, "Where's that cool smart-ass exterior now that we're here? Maybe you need a bit of relaxing?"

I froze at the last bit, knowing what that 'something' was, but silently praying I was wrong. I said nothing, his menacing eyes and dangerous tone of voice draining away all of my previous bravado. God, I was such a coward when it came to him. He reached inside his coat pocket and took out a small silver case and opened it to revel perhaps a dozen or so of purple and cerulean blue pills. He held the case out to me and I backed up as if those small things were going to bite me.

"Not those, Ren," I whispered.

He smiled, taking pleasure that I was now that scared nineteen year old all over again. I stared at those seemingly innocent blue pills. Blue Heaven, or the more affectionate term of just 'heaven'. It was the newest drug out on the market and gave even strong drugs like Sweet Bliss and D-Dust a run for their money. Why was this one better than the rest? Not only did it seem to have an extra kick than the others but also the dealers on the street bragged that Heaven wasn't addictive. Imagine being able to take a drug as much as you want and then leave it when you need to. It was just another tactic to get people to buy and I don't care what they say; take a drug long enough and your body will want it.
But I'm sure people found it hard to give up that wonderful euphoric high that it brought. Heaven leaves you with no care in the world; everything becomes lined with beautiful sparkling lights that aren't there and has you floating in a world that could only exist in your wildest hallucinations. I remember my first time trying it when Ren had thought I was "too uptight". I could hardly remember my own name, and I was so out of it the whole house could have burned down around me and I would have calmly went with it, maybe laughing as I burned. That may seem as an exaggeration, but that's what I felt. Not to mention that it turns your libido up by ten notches. It taps into something in your brain, keeping you in a strange buzz between being half-asleep, drunk and so aroused that once you take it you become a total different person. I remembered that night vividly despite being drugged. The things I did, the things I had done to me…and I had enjoyed every single fucking moment of it. It felt so damn good it scared me. I never wanted to touch that stuff again and Ren knew it. There was no real heaven when it came to those things.

"If you can't relax, I'm sure these will help." He said softly.

Forget the fact that I was relaxed, at least before he started all this shit. But, just as I'm sure he wanted, fear was making me freeze and all my thoughts revolved around Ren's voice and what he wanted me to do. He didn't have to take it this far; he could've just yelled, hit me a few times and left well enough alone. No, not Ren. He has to make sure that you understand without a doubt that you belong to him and that you don't think unless he wants you to. I lowered my head, staring at my black boots. There were no witty retorts in my head, no anger…just that shameful fear and empty cold that envelops me.

He laughed. "I think we understand each other, don't we?" I nodded quickly and he took a few more steps toward me, essentially pinning me to the car. He wasn't done yet.

"Ren, you know I don't like those things," I said as lightly as I could, keeping my voice low as a rising fear built of what he may do if I didn't change my attitude quickly.

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't give a shit what you like or want? Not tonight, Gavin. I'll jam these things down your fucking throat if I have to."

He then took three pills out, the standard dose, closed the case and brought them up to my mouth. Holy fuck, he was going to do it!

I shook my head wildly. "No! No, no, I'll be what you want, I promise!" He ignored me and held my head with one hand and pressed the pills to my lips with the other. I wanted to beg, but I knew as soon as I opened my mouth I was doomed. Instead I shook my head and whined, praying for something…anything…then, without warning he backed away and let go of me so suddenly I stumbled.

"On the other hand," Ren said nonchalantly as if discussing he weather, "I don't think that Selene would be too happy with you coming to her high as a kite." He seemed to think of something for a while then chuckled and put the pills back where he got them. "Though she wouldn't have to worry about borrowing you, you'd fuck her without hesitation. Hell, you'd do her in front of the whole coven if she told you to." He walked off laughing and I silently followed, wishing there was a way I could wipe that shit-eating grin off his face. I knew there wasn't, but just thinking about it made me feel tons better.


**************************************************


We ended up in a fairly large hallway our footsteps echoing through the silent halls. Faintly, like an alarm clock blaring when you're in deep sleep, there was a slight beat trembling through the gray marble walls. They must be playing music somewhere, but depending on what century this Selene chick is from it's probably some off the wall shit. Who knew what vampires listen to anyway? If what she listened to was a mystery, how she spent her accumulated wealth definitely wasn't. That I saw clearly everywhere my eyes rested. The tiled floors, the marble walls with intricate relief patterns etched in gold. Oh yeah, she was loaded.

"Nice isn't it?"

I turned my head to look at Ren who had slowed down and was now looking back at me over his shoulder. I shrugged. "It's okay." I lied. It was more than okay, it was fucking beautiful, but why give him the pleasure of being right? It was completely childish and petty, but it really didn't bother me that much. At the end of the hall stood tall wooden double doors with the same golden patterns that were on the wall. They swung open slowly as if on cue and the music that lightly thrummed through the walls hit me like a slap to the face. It wasn't exactly techno, not exactly electronica--I couldn't quite place what the hell it sounded like. It was a soft, hypnotic beat that seemed to pull at me--steady and slow like the deep thrusts of a skilled lover, holding on to you with the sweet melody of strings, pumping into you with the steady thrum of bass beats. Needless to say, it was pretty good.

I scanned the room, watching people caught in heavy conversations, laughing, arguing all ignoring—or just not caring—about our entrance. I watched the faces, mostly all of them were pale, and when they laughed I saw the white, point flash of fangs. I felt my heart lurch and a few heads did turn our way, but didn't stay long. Guess my fear wasn't that interesting.

"Remember what I said," Ren said softly, patting on his jacket breast where the case of Heaven was now residing.

"And I said I can handle this," I sneered; knowing he wouldn't dare hit me now that we were in public. Tonight he wore his mask, the mask that had lied and deceived me from the start all those years ago. The mask I fell in love with.

He frowned at me yet said nothing and I gave him my most charming smiles. His frowned deepened.
"I'm warning you.." he began.

"I'm being what you want me to be," I said pretentiously as the faint crackle of static was filling my ears as I shrunk and hid the real Gavin. It was nice here--in this static nothingness—nothing bothered me, nothing hurt me. This was the place to escape all those pesky things called emotions. Ren noticed the sudden change in my attitude and eyed me curiously, but remained silent. Wow, twice in one night…I was on a roll! He grabbed me by the forearm, yanking it a bit roughly and guided me into the crowd. Some of the conversations hushed as we walked by. I could feel eyes, vampire eyes, on me, starting right through me. My skin was itching with goose bumps.

"Ren!"

We halted and turned to the source of the voice. A petite woman walked slowly to us, weaving through the people as if they weren't there. She gave us both a smile and if you didn't pay close enough attention you would've missed the fangs. I instantly took a few steps back and looked down at the floor, studying the marble floor. Coward, me?

I heard her laugh. "He sure is a bit chittery."

Ren gave a light laugh and gave me a less than playful shove. "Gavin…"

I forced myself to look up and met her eyes. They were like two dark blue whirlpools that would gladly suck you down below and watch you drown. I gave the best smile I could manage.

"Hello," I said softly.

She walked up to me, resting one hand on my chest and the other on my hip.

"You're a pretty one, aren't you?" she murmured, looking longingly in my eyes. The next question, which didn't surprise me in the least, was directed at Ren. "Does he fuck as good as he looks?"

Ren laughed, but I knew him well enough to know it wasn't real.

"I'll ask you kindly to unhand him, Zoe," he said instead, his voice still holding that strained lightness. She frowned but tightened her grip on me.

"What if I want to have some fun with him first?" She slid her hand around to the base of my back, pulling me closer to her. She smelled of sweet perfume and wine, but underneath it all was an older scent. A dead smell that rose to my nose and turned my stomach. Don't flip out, don't flip out, don't—I clenched my hand into a fist, my nails digging painfully into my palm as I tried to control my temper.

"Then we'll just have a chat with Selene," Ren replied.

Zoe hissed and let go of me quickly, almost pushing me away from her.

"You overestimate your influence over her," she growled.

Ren only smiled back, a real one this time.
"And you, my dear, underestimate it. Now why did you even come over here?"

"Mannix was looking for you," she said curtly. "Selene said she'll see you in about an hour."

Ren made a dismissing wave with his hand. "You've said what you had to say, now beat it." The look in Zoe's eyes was murderous, but Ren simply took me possessively by the arm and walked away. Once we were further away from her Ren loosened the grip on my arm and slowed our pace taking the time to cordially greet people as he passed by.

"Do you really have that much influence?" I asked quietly.

"Of course," he snapped and flashed a smile at a group that had lifted their glasses to him in greeting. "Zoe's old enough to sense a lie. She can watch the body's temperature and heartbeat the same way a polygraph would."

Not something I readily believed, but if Ren said so then it must be the truth, or at least mostly the truth. There was always a fine line between truth and lie when it came to him, anyway.

"Good," Ren muttered, "there's Mannix."

I searched the faces to try and spot them myself and I finally did. They were further away from the crowd on the main floor and in a more secluded corner of the room. Mannix was laughing, smiling and seemed to be in a pretty good mood; a few moments later I realized why. David. He was standing in front of Mannix, speaking animatedly about something. His beautiful lips moved and smiled and I felt my breath catch in my throat. How had he captivated me like this? I wonder what he'll say to me? Or if he'll pretend like last night never happened like most of my clients do? Which leads me to another, more important, question. Why the fuck did I even care?

My eyes roamed over his body without meaning to and I remembered how he looked without all those clothes. He was still clean-cut and neatly dressed; I guess that was his style. The pants he wore looked like silk; the dark blue was form fitting and hugged every curve of his body. His shirt was the same material and hung to his body just the same giving him an all-encompassing effect of toned muscle. Even though the outfit was somewhat taboo by normal standards he managed to carry it like he belonged on the cover of GQ.

Mannix said something that made David laugh and he leaned forward, his lips hovering over Mannix's ear. Mannix grabbed the back of his head and let it travel down his neck and settle on his back. I saw David's tongue flick out and his eyes closed. When they opened they found me and he pulled away from Mannix as if he just got caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

He gave me a small smile, but he clearly was uneasy.
"There you are, Ren!" Mannix said as we reached them. They shook hands and immediately started talking. I looked at David and found myself unable to say anything. I didn't understand why I was feeling like this. He gave me a small smile and took a quick look to our left; Ren and Mannix were still in rapt conversation. Was he apprehensive to talk with them so near? What was so important?

"Hey," he finally said. It was one word, one meaningless word, and yet there were so many things hanging in the air. So many things left unsaid and I didn't feel so bad anymore, last night hadn't just affected me. I smiled back at him.

"Hey," I replied just as quietly.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Mannix pushed him to the side and stood in front of me.

"Damn! You look good enough to rape, Gavey-boy!" Does this man know how to give compliments or what?

"Thanks, Mannix," I mumbled, slowly moving to stand closer to Ren to give Mannix a hint to leave me be. He didn't see it or chose to ignore it and slid his arm around my waist. What is it with everyone that they have to grope and pull on me when they see me? Don't people just say hello anymore? I glanced at David and saw his eyes narrowing in anger and I quickly pushed Mannix away.

"He's acting pretty uptight tonight, Ren," Mannix said angrily, "one fuck from you and he doesn't want anybody else touching him?"

"That's enough, Mannix," Ren grumbled.

"So that's why you rushed me home, couldn't wait to drive your dick home could ya?"

David reached out and tentatively placed a hand on Mannix's shoulder.

"Mannix…."

His soft voice made Mannix freeze and he immediately calmed, the anger that was smoldering in his eyes now softening. And David said he had made no mark on him?

"Sorry," Mannix muttered, "I just—"

"Whatever," Ren interrupted, not wanting to go into the subject any further especially in public. "Is Marina here?"

Mannix scoffed. "That bitch? Yeah, she's here---knew she wanted to talk to us, didn't you?"

"She called me last night, let's go over the closing details before it's time for Selene to come down."

Mannix made a very child-like whine, but had clearly already given in to Ren. Most people do. He gave David a quick chaste kiss on the lips. "See you in a bit."

Ren turned towards me, a finger pointed in my face.

"And you…" he began heatedly.

"What," I said slyly, "no kiss?"

"Don't you start with me, Gavin, behave!"

"What am I? A kid?" I mumbled angrily.

"I'll keep an eye out for him, Ren." It was David. I got excited at the thought of just the two us finally to ourselves. Say yes, Ren, say yes, say yes..yes..yes..

Ren stood still for a few moments, his eyes rested on me, to David and back to me.

"I guess so….is that alright with you Mannix?"

"I don't care," he said, "Can we get this over with?"

The two walked off, and left David and I alone. We stood there for a while and David finally spoke.

"I meant to tell you earlier that you really do look nice." Was he blushing?

"Thanks, you too." I said coolly, pretending that his compliment was nothing to me. It was actually the exact opposite.

"So," he said slowly, "you want to get a drink? You sure you old enough for that?" With that he turned and began to walk away.

I got the joke and sneered at him. "Fuck you," I grumbled yet followed him, enjoying the very nice view of his ass. A vampire ran the miniature bar with one side covered with all sorts of bottles and at the end was one of those small water fountains. But instead of water a deep, red liquid frothed from the spouts, and faint vapors of steam rose from the thick pool at the bottom. Given the majority of the guests, there was only one thing that could be in that fountain. I think I was going to be sick.

I must have visibly paled because David quickly pulled me away to the other end of the bar, away from the fountain. But it was too late; I had seen it, smelt it and there was no forgetting that. Vampires walked right up to it with their glasses and set it under one of the smaller streams to fill them. I wondered who had died to fill that thing, how many gave their lives to fill their bellies?

"Gavin? Answer me."

I hadn't even realized there was a question. "What?"

"Take your eyes off of the fountain," David said softly, "the more you think about it the more it'll haunt you later." I nodded, and spared only one last glance at the fountain of blood. We decided on drinks: I had gotten some sort of concoction that mixed Absolut with some sort of thick black goop that the bartender assured was 'the good stuff'. David walked away with a wine glass full of a sickly green drink. It was almost neon-like and reminded me vaguely of anti-freeze. I had asked him what it was and if I could trade my drink in to get that. He only laughed at me and told me that if I had to ask what it was meant that I wasn't ready to drink it. He knew that had pissed me off and quickly tried to change the subject.

"There's this beautiful inside garden," David said, "you want to see it?"

I didn't give a damn about the garden, but I was anxious to get away from the crowd.

"Why the fuck not?"

****************************************************


It wasn't too far from the main room and the faint hum of music and conversation drifted into the large, yet dimly lit area. It really was nice and I enjoyed the sweet fragrances that filled my nostrils and the quiet chirps of insects they were imported along with the flowers. It was like having a piece of outdoors in a convenient room; Selene received more kudos. This chick, really, really knew how to live.

We walked slowly side by side and finally sat down on a stone bench. I sipped the drink, the sweet, yet strong taste of alcohol burning its way down my throat felt so good. It had been awhile since Ren let me drink, I had almost missed it. I like the way it made me slip away into nothing. I took another long gulp and David caught my hand and laughed.

"Watch it, this isn't your ordinary liquor, Gavin. Remember that black stuff? This will seriously fuck you up, believe me."

I believed him and took only a sip and put the cup down. We sat in more silence, but it wasn't that awkward now since it was basically just the two of us. There were things that I wanted to say to him, but it could wait, the silence was so comfortable.

David cleared his throat. "I was surprised to see you at one of these things, how come you never came before?"

"Because I was always given a choice of being here, tonight being the exception. Selene wants to meet me, or at least that's what Ren said."

"Same here," he said, "even though I've been to plenty of these parties she's never actually met me." He shrugged before continuing. "But it's not too big of a deal, you mingle, you met her and then you go home."

"Mingle?" I scoffed. "How can you 'mingle' with those things out there?"

David chuckled. It was a funny sound almost bubbly-like and it brought a smile to my face just to hear it.

"What have you got against, vamps?" He asked, still laughing softly.

"A lot," I muttered. "I just don't like them, okay? Bad experience. And I don't like these parties."

He was quiet for a while, swirling the sickly green liquid in his wine glass.
"Didn't they pull you under first?" He asked softly. "It's a little uncomfortable, I admit, but if they be spell you first it can be quite good."

"You've actually…. you've fucked one of those things?!"

David looked at me as if I were crazy. "Why do you say it like it's something dirty? Haven't you?"

I shook my head and he laughed. "Jeez, you don't know what you're missing."

"I'll just take your word for it," I muttered. David shifted beside me.

"Gavin, you---I was wondering if…if I could see you again."

I turned my head to look at him, expecting to see a smile on his face or something, but didn't. He was actually serious. I shrugged.

"It's your money," I said simply.

David made a harsh sound in his throat. "It's not about the money, Gavin. I want it to be different."

"Different?" I repeated. "What else would it be about? Why do you think I do this kind of thing, why do you? Talk to Ren."

"Why? I don't want to talk to Ren; I'm talking to you. And I want to make sure it's something you want to do, not something that Ren's going to force you to do."

"What does it matter what I think? You pay, I'll do anything you want, just like I do night after night with all my other clients."

He was starting to get on my nerve like last night, all his naiveté and his delusions about what our lives were about. I scooted a bit away from and downed the rest of my drink. I felt David take a hold of my arm.

"Is that all I am? A client?"

I felt something odd settle on my chest as I tried to force air in my lungs to breathe. He pulled me closer to him until our bodies were touching and our faces were dangerously close.

"What else would you be?" I asked, my voice low and strained with emotion. "Why does it matter?"

"It just does," he replied curtly.

"Not good enough. Why does it matter?" I asked again.

He shook his head, unable to answer.

"Why does it!?" I nearly shout.

"Because!!!" he shouted, then instantly calmed himself down and took a deep breath. "Because," he said more softly, struggling to control his voice, "I've—I've been thinking about you, a lot….more than I should."

Oh…we stared at each other for what seemed like forever then slowly our heads seemed to lean toward each other and our lips met. The kiss was soft, almost tender, but soon grew heated the longer it lasted. I opened my mouth to his tongue and I tasted the bitter, yet sweet licorice taste of his drink on my tongue. He moaned into my mouth and gripped the back of my head, holding me to him. Oh God, this is what I wanted, needed so badly…to finally feel something after all this time. But not something I was allowed to have. If Ren saw this he'd literally kill me. Hesitantly I pushed David away and he fought to keep the kiss going.

"What?" he asked breathlessly.

"We can't do this," I said weakly. "I can't, Ren—"

"What about Ren? He can't join us, I don't do threesomes."

I smiled despite myself, but had to stay focused. "I can't have any personal….relationships. Ren is the only person I can be with like that, everything else has to be business."

David pulled back from me. "And you think Mannix is any different? He'd bust my head in for the thoughts I'm having about you."

I didn't feel so pathetic now because he had just now admitted all the shit that was running through my head.

"Then," he said slowly, "I'll just be business, as long as I get to see you. That is if I can see you again?"

I smiled. "Sure."

He stood up. "We better get back before they notice we're gone."

"So," I said slowly, "what thoughts were you having about me?"

He laughed. "I won't go into detail, but let's just say in all of them you're naked and wrapped around me."

"Nice thoughts," I teased.

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle, "dangerous ones, too."

I got up and we walked back to the back garden entrance, a smile on both of our faces. This night might not be so bad after all.