Nanowrimo 2008

AN: Here you go.


Two weeks passed before there was a small funeral for Eric Sweeten. It was very sad overall because not many people actually came, besides the couple of students who crushed on him and his family. Jonathan had mix feelings because what he had found out about Eric. He didn’t know if he should even feel sorry for him. Cindy, still being very young, did not comprehend the concept of death. Kyle attempted to make it easier for Cindy, by saying that Eric’s soul was now a butterfly. Every time she saw a butterfly, it would be Eric. Their mother was dry eyes. She had never been very emotional. She did not even cry when their father had died. She did not know how to show feelings. For some time after Eric’s funeral, Kyle began to distance himself from both Alex and Darren, which caused them both excessive worry.

Kyle had feelings of guilt because Steven had thought Eric was him. No matter what Eric had done to him in the past, he still loved his brother. If he had only one wish, it would be to bring his brother back to life. Because of his brother’s death, he felt like he deserved to be miserable. To his guilt ridden heart, it was his punishment.

He was planning to break all ties to Alex, who could predict what was coming. Alex was not going to let that happened.

One afternoon, Alex sat Kyle down, and forced the younger boy to listen. He told Kyle that he understood his feelings, even though he still did not forgive Eric. He told Kyle that it was not his place to judge Eric. If Kyle was able to let his twin back into his heart, there was no reason for himself to have any objections or hostilities. At the same time, he told Kyle that Eric sacrificed himself so Kyle would live. Eric was perfectly sane when he confronted Steven. He wouldn’t want Kyle to be tearing himself apart, but to move on. He reminded Kyle that Eric’s dying words were that ‘I love you’ and ‘I hope you find happiness with Alex’.

Kyle’s eyes watered. He was going against his brother’s wishes. Kyle looked up at the handsome man that had sheltered him. He cupped Alex’s cheek and inclined upwards, letting their lips meet in a chaste kiss. After their lips pulled apart, Kyle rested his head on Alex’s shoulder. He sighed. “What’s bothering me more than anything is the fact that I never got to tell Eric that I forgive him and that I love him.”

Alex was rubbing circles on the small of Kyle’s back. “It’s never too late.”

Kyle lifted his head up to stare into Alex’s eyes before standing up and
walking out the door.

Kyle made his way to the graveyard. He had memorized where Eric’s tomb was, and had no trouble finding it once again. He kneeled in front of the tomb stone, and gently rested his hand on top of the dirt bed. “Eric, I don’t know if you can actually hear me, or if there is even such a thing as life after death. I hope there is. I don’t want my words reaching deaf ears. I never got to tell you this, but…” Kyle swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing. “I forgive you for everything. What you did was wrong, but I forgave you before I even saw you dying. After you told me the truth about what happened two years ago, I understood your motives. I had been planning to try to make things right with you. Unfortunately…” He had to stop again due to tears. “Unfortunately, I never got the chance. I love you with all my heart, but not in the way you wanted me to. I’m in love with Alex. I had been trying to sever my ties to you out of loyalty to you, but he made me see that was the wrong thing to do. I don’t know if you ever forgave Alex for taking me away from you, but you had wanted me to be with him at the end. Right now, I need him more than anyone to lean on. Even if I’m with him, I will never forget you. I just wish we had a chance to start over, and make things right. I love you brother, and I always will. I hope to see you in the afterlife.” Kyle stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes. He turned away, and then caught sight of Alex at a distance. Without hesitating, Kyle ran into Alex’s waiting arms, letting out sobs of grief.

That night, Kyle had trouble getting to sleep because of his grief. He sat up and saw Alex still awake. With no coherent thoughts in his head, he kissed Alex deeply while pressing his body closely to Alex, eliciting a moan out of the aroused man. He whispered against Alex’s lips. “Help me forget everything. “

Those words snapped Alex out of his lust filled stupor. He gently pushed Kyle away. “I love you…with my whole heart. I’m not taking advantage of your sadness. I want the first time we make love to be because you actually desire it, not because you want to forget your depression. Our first time together should be a time you remember with fond memories, not regret. Do you understand?”

Kyle sighed. “Yes, but I want to be near you.”

Alex cradled Kyle in his arms. “We don’t have to have sex to be near each other. Just holding one another like this is us being near.”

Kyle smiled. “You really are special Alex. Most guys would have jumped at the chance to get laid without thinking about the other person or the consequences. You stopping me makes me see how much you care.”

“I love you, and don’t ever doubt that.”

Kyle fell asleep in Alex’s arms, knowing that very soon they would make love.


AN I'm planning to finish this story in the next 4 days. The next chapter will be the lemon, and probably the last chapter. As a little side note, that thing about the soul being in a butterfly comes from my own life. The first person close to me to die was my grandfather, and I was only 7. Like Cindy, I didn't know what dying met at the time, only that he was going away. My mom told me the thing about the butterfly so I could deal with his death, and I thought it would be cute to add it into the story. Please R&R.