Pain and.. pain?

I found time to update! Yey!
I felt so guilty about not being able to put this up since it has been ready for a while now. The next chapter wont be up until early May though, sorry.

I can see a Kevin-fanclub forming:D I like the bouncer too. He's one of my favorite characters in this story:)

The end of this chapter is a little evil. Sorry about that but please REVIEW even though you may hate me!!



CHAPTER 29



Kevin surprised me in the evening by turning out to be a pretty skilled in the kitchen. I didn’t know squat about cooking and watched in fascination how the bouncer whipped together some sort of a wok. He had asked me what I wanted for dinner and I had said that I didn’t care as long as it wasn’t chicken. So apparently he was making a wok with beef and had made me chop up vegetables for him. I was sitting by the table with a glass of milk when there was a knock on the door and Kevin glanced at me.

“Get that, will you?”

I nodded and got up. I opened the door and glued my eyes to the floor instantly.

“Hi Jason, Kevin home?” Detective Thomson asked and I stepped aside, letting him in.

“In the kitchen, s-sir.” I mumbled nervously and the sandy hair man smiled widely. I didn’t get what there was to smile about. The man disappeared to the kitchen and I closed the door slowly, going to the livingroom. I sat on the sofa cross legged, picked up bunny and wrapped my arms around it into a hug. I didn’t like Thomson and I didn’t want him here. I didn’t want to talk about dad anymore.

“Jason?” Kevin walked into the livingroom and I hid my face against bunny.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” I mumbled and Kevin came closer, not looking too convinced.

“Okay, could you set the table, please? Cody is staying for dinner.” He said then and I got up slowly, setting bunny back on the couch. I went past Kevin with my head down and flinched when he tried to touch my shoulder. Kevin frowned and I fidgeted with my sweater nervously.

“S-Sorry.” I mumbled and Kevin grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me into a halt. I tensed and hunched instantly, trying to make myself look smaller and Kevin let go of me.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Jason.” He sighed and I nodded quickly. I knew that, at least I thought I did. Kevin studied me closely for a moment before continuing. “You don’t have to be afraid of Cody either, Jason. He is trying to help.”

I looked at him nervously and tried not to fidget under his gaze.

“Come on, we can talk after dinner. “ Kevin nudged me towards the kitchen and I dropped my eyes back to the floor while strutting reluctantly across the apartment. Thomson was already setting plates on the table when we walked into the room and smiled widely again when he saw us. I stopped on my tracks but Kevin pushed me forward. “Get the glasses.” He said and returned to the stove.

I obeyed rigidly and made sure to stay an arms length away from Thomson at all times. Not as easy as it sounds when he was going around the table setting cutlery down. By the time we sat down to eat I was feeling a bit clammy and couldn’t sit still on my seat. My heart was beating fast in my chest and kept my eyes down, not wanting Kevin and Thomson to know I was scared. Kevin always got angry when he noticed that I was afraid.

I nibbled on my food carefully, not sure what half the things on my plate were. Dad had never been a big fan of vegetables. Not that I would have gotten to eat any of them even if he had.

“You don’t like it?” Kevin asked and I glanced at him from under my hair that fell over my face and into my eyes.

“N-No, s-sir. I.. I m-mean, y-yes s-sir. I.. I like it.” I stuttered and Kevin frowned while Thomson just watched us carefully.

“Then why are you not eating? Jason, you need to eat, you heard the doctor.”

“I.. I’m s-sorry, s-sir.”

“Don’t call me ‘sir’, Jason. We’ve been over this thousand times. What’s wrong with your dinner?” Kevin asked sounding irritated and I felt fear clench my belly almost painfully.

“N-Nothing, s..” I just barely caught myself and ducked my head down. “K-Kevin. I just.. I don’t want to g-get s-sick a-again.” I mumbled under my breath and Kevin sighed.

“You won’t get sick if you eat, Jason. Not if you don’t binge it down. You need to eat to get better.” He said and I nodded carefully. I wasn’t really even that scared of getting sick again, I knew it was my own fault I had thrown up last time. I was just too nervous and on edge to eat anything. I didn’t like the way Thomson kept looking at me. I didn’t feel comfortable around him.

When Kevin and Thomson were done with their dinner, my plate was still mostly full. I had eaten more than I was used to but clearly not enough to make Kevin happy with me. I noticed them put their forks down and stopped eating too, standing up to put away the dishes.

“Jason, sit down and finish your dinner.” Kevin said instantly and I slid back down on my seat slowly, staring at my cooling dinner. I could feel sweat running down my back and tried to compress the shivers.

“What did the doctor say?” Thomson asked to start a conversation and Kevin glanced at him before turning his dark eyes back to me.

“Just confirmed what we already knew; he’s underfed and abused. The fever still isn’t completely gone either.” he said and Thomson nodded.

“I talked to the boss about him.”

“Did you put a warrant on his dad?”

“No. Turns out he already has a warrant on him.” Thomson said and I looked up at him quickly. Why did the cops want dad? Kevin looked surprised too.

“Why?”

“Drugs. They think he has been bringing drugs into the city for some time now. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” Thomson asked, his eyes fixated on me and I shook my head quickly.

“So, what now?” Kevin asked and motioned me to start eating again. I stabbed a piece of beef reluctantly and brought it to my mouth just to keep him happy.

“They’re not going to charge him with child abuse they want him for the drugs. Either way, his dad is getting arrested when ever they find him.” Thomson said and Kevin cursed under his breath.

“Fucking typical.”

“You know how it is, Kev. Drugs have more press value than some junkie who beats up his kid every once in a while. They want him for drugs.”

“Still. He’s just going to get away with fucking up his own kid.” Kevin said and glanced at me, in a bad mood now. “I told you to eat, Jason. Come on, shovel it down.”

I had been staring at them but now dropped my eyes back on my plate. I couldn’t believe it. Drugs. Dad and drugs. If he was dealing drugs then why make me work at the Cave? Drugs had to pay more than my ass. A trembling started in my shoulders and clamped my teeth down on my lower lip. He sent me to the Cave for nothing. He didn’t need the money, he just didn’t want me around. Tears welled up in my eyes and soon ran down my cheeks.

“Jason?” Kevin asked and I looked up quickly before forcing myself to continue eating. I choked and flinched when Kevin moved from his seat and dropped my fork like burnt. I scattered away from the table until my back hit the wall and stared at the big bouncer through tear clouded eyes while panting heavily. I tried to tell him that I was sorry but all that came out was little gasps for breath and I felt like I couldn’t breath. My lungs were exploding and my chest hurt and when Kevin took another step closer, I cried out in fear and collapsed on the spot, bringing my arms around my head in protection. I felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen and clutched at my chest in panic. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

Someone grabbed me and my mind screamed from pure panic. I trashed and tried to get away from the strong arms holding me down. I could hear someone talking to me but my hearing was funny and I couldn’t make sense of the words. Then something was pressed against my chest and I brought my arms around the softness instantly. I was shifted around and instead of trashing again, I pressed my face against the fluffy surface of bunny in front of me and closed my eyes tightly, still gasping for breath.

Little by little my breathing evened out and the dizziness faded away and I slumped against the person holding me.

“Ssh, Jason. Calm down, just breathe.” A voice murmured into my hair and I felt tears flow down my cheeks again. Kevin brushed my hair away from my face and I buried myself in his chest, sobbing quietly. “Ssh, you’re alright. You had a panic attack, Jason. You’ll be alright.” The big bouncer said and hugged me close.

“I.. I’m s-s-sorry, s-s..” I stuttered and remembered just in time that he didn’t like me calling him sir. I pressed my mouth shut quickly and dared a glance at Kevin. He had a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth and ruffled my hair slightly before saying.

“Don’t worry about it. Feeling better?”

I nodded carefully and rested back against his chest. I didn’t want to move yet. I felt safe like this.

“Kevin, is he okay?” Thomson asked from next to us and I flinched, pressing myself closer to Kevin.

“Yeah, he’s fine.” Kevin sighed and tapped my side gently. I got the hint and moved away from his lap, climbing on to my feet slowly. My sweaty shirt clung to my skin and I gave a small shudder while backing away from Thomson. Kevin got up from the floor too and brushed my neck with his hand.

“Your fever is up again, go to bed. We’ll talk later.” He said and nudged me towards the bedroom. I glanced at Thomson warily one more time before inching past Kevin. I went to the bedroom and changed into my PJs before crawling into the bed and pulling the covers up to my ears.

I could hear Kevin talking with Thomson in the kitchen and held on to the toy in my arms a bit tighter. I was in trouble. I knew I was. I rubbed my red puffy eyes with the back of my hand and curled up under the blanket, disappearing completely out of view.




I was half asleep when the bed dipped and someone pulled the blanket downwards, uncovering my head. I turned around and wrenched my eyes open, clinging on to the stuffed toy. It was Kevin.

“I need to ask you some questions Jason and I need you to answer truthfully, okay?” The bouncer asked in a quiet voice and rubbed on my eyes tiredly.

“W-Where’s D-Detective T-Thomson?” I whispered and Kevin gave me a half a smile.

“He left. You can call him Cody, Jason.”

I nodded timidly, sat up slowly and leaned against the headboard while pulling the blanket back over myself. Kevin stared at me for a while before sighing and rubbing his strong neck with his hand.

“Do you have any idea where your dad could be, Jason? And don’t lie to me.” He asked then and turned his eyes back to me. I gnawed on my lower lip nervously and looked down.

“N-No.”

“Jason?” Kevin warned and I looked back up quickly, matching eyes with him.

“I d-don’t! He.. He never told me where he went. He could be gone for weeks at a time but he never told me. He didn’t.” I said and pulled me knees up to my chest. “He never told me.” I continued with a whisper and Kevin nodded.

“Alright. What about the drugs? Did you ever see any around?”

I shook my head.

“More money than usual?”

I shook my head again and lowered my eyes from Kevin’s eyes. “I w-worked at the C-Cave so w-we could pay t-the bills.” I mumbled quietly and pressed my face against bunny. Kevin gave me a sympathetic look and nodded again.

“Did you see any strange people at your place? Did your dad talk in the phone with anyone particular, anything like that?” He asked then and I tried to think.

“I.. I don’t know. I was usually in my room. The only person I met was J-Jonathan.” I said and couldn’t help shuddering when thinking about the man. Kevin nodded again and gave me a small smile again.

“Okay, that was all I wanted to know. I need to take you to the precinct later to get your story on record but that can wait until you’re feeling better.”

“I t-thought they d-don’t care a-about m-me.” I stuttered and Kevin brushed my hair out of my eyes.

“They care, Jason. They just want to get your dad for drugs.” He said and I nodded quietly. They didn’t really care, no matter what Kevin said.

“What a-about me t-then? W-What happens to m-me?” I asked carefully and Kevin pulled his hand away from my hair with a heavy sigh.

“I don’t know kiddo. That’s up to the social workers.” He said and I tensed. That didn’t sound good at all. I mean.. I had known that night when I had called Kevin from the phone booth that I wouldn’t be able to stay with him forever but.. I hadn’t taken in consideration that he might turn me in to the social workers. I had only meant to stay with him for a few days until I was feeling better and knew what to do next.

“Let me go Kevin, please?” I asked in a barely audible voice and the bouncer frowned at me.

“Go? Go where?”

“I.. I don’t want to go to fostercare. I’ll just go. Please? I won’t come back, I promise. Please, just let me go.” I begged and pushed the blanket away from myself. I moved forward and dropped bunny, wrapping my arms around Kevin’s shoulders and looking him straight in the eyes. “Please?” I whispered and pressed my lips against his. Kevin grabbed my arms and tried to push me away gently but I only clung on to him tighter. I tried to press against him and Kevin pushed me away harshly. I was thrown back and banged my head against the wooden headboard while Kevin jumped off the bed.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Jason!?” He yelled and I winced away from him.

“I’m s-s-sorry, s-sir.” I stuttered and went to crawl off the bed.

“Don’t move!” Kevin snapped at me and I froze still, breathing hard.

Shit shit shit.

I fucked up, yet again.

“Why the hell did you kiss me Jason? Answer me!” The bouncer yelled at me and marched back and forth by the bed. “Answer me!”

I looked down and backed away until my shoulders hit the headboard. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly while Kevin continued to burn a hole in the carpet, cursing under his breath. He turned his eyes back to me and I flinched, trying to mend myself into the headboard behind me.

“Why the hell did you kiss me Jason?” Kevin asked again, not shouting this time and stopped to look at me. My head fell forward and I stared at the bed, too afraid to look at Kevin.

“I’m s-sorry, sir.” I whispered and felt tears burn in my eyes. I pressed my palms against my closed eyes and hid my face against my knees. I was just stupid, a stupid little whore. The bed dipped when Kevin sat down on it again and then a hand grabbed my wrist, pulling it away from my face.

“Jason, look at me.” Kevin said gently and I dropped my hands down, still not looking at him though. “I’m not angry, Jason. I’m not angry, okay? I just.. Why did you kiss me?”

He let go of my wrist and moved to wipe away my tears instead. I looked up fearfully and saw his worried eyes. “I’m not angry.” I nodded carefully and looked away. Kevin pulled his hand away and I hid against my knees again. I felt Kevin move on the bed and flinched when a hand grabbed my arm. I looked up quickly and Kevin gave me a smile while pulling me to sit sideways in his lap. He picked up bunny as well and set it in my lap before wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

“I’m not helping you because I want to fuck you, Jason. I thought you knew that by now.”

“I-I’m s-sorry.” I whispered quietly and ducked my head down in embarrassment.

“I know. You’re always sorry, kiddo. Even when you haven’t done anything wrong.” Kevin sighed and rubbed my back soothingly. “Promise me something though.” He continued and I looked up. “Never EVER kiss me again, got that?” His voice had harshness in it but his eyes weren’t cold and I nodded quickly.

“I.. I w-won’t, K-Kevin. I p-promise.” I mumbled and the bouncer pressed his chin against the top of my head, forcing me to look away from him before saying.

“Now, you had some questions earlier. What exactly did you want to know?”