Before You

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

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Sorry for the delay in posting. Enjoy!


Adam’s confession in the night haunted Roth the following day. He couldn’t miss anymore time at the shelter. Too many people depended on him. However, until the new security measures became firmly established, Nathan, Nelson and Roth placed Adam under house arrest. Joseph stayed with him, too. It made sense. Two souls with demons to face about their origins, clinging together for support.

Roth stopped at a drug store before returning home. He bought a vinyl-cover notebook, a few good quality pens, sketch pad and pencils, a sharpener and several folders. Latent memories often responded to encouragement from writing and drawing. He wondered what Adam might have stored in his head.

Despite the worries plaguing him, Roth enjoyed the drive knowing a full house awaited. Even as he smiled to himself, his private cell rang. Seeing his home number, he flipped it open. “Hey.”

Joseph replied, “I hate to bother you. But, are you somewhere you can stop for heavy cream? We have some, just not enough. I’m teaching Adam and Nathan to make alfredo sauce.”

“No bother,” he answered. “I’m right by a market,” he lied, thinking of the best way to get to one. “I’ll pick up cream and be home soon. Anything else?”

“I hate to ask.”

Roth flipped on his right turn signal, held the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he downshifted. From now on, he needed to wear his Bluetooth. “Joseph, just tell me.”

“I’d love to try that ice cream advertised all the time. The stuff from the small creamery.”

“What flavor?” He changed gears again, making an effort to keep the traffic aggravation from his voice.

“Something chocolate.”

“You got it. See you in about forty-five minutes.”

Joseph stood in the doorway to the laundry room as Roth reached up to the remote unit clipped to the visor, and hit the button to lower the garage door. “Hurry. It’s hilarious watching them bicker and fumble.”

Roth grabbed the two plastic grocer’s bags, his briefcase and went to observe the show. Joseph caught him, pulling him down for a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re spoiling me,” he said.

“Come watch.”

Adam stirred finely minced shallots, garlic and course-ground black pepper in a stainless steel sauté pan.

Nathan loomed close. “He told us not to burn the garlic or it would get bitter.”

“I’m not burning the damn garlic. Personal bubble. Step back, man.”

Nathan tried to swipe the spoon from Adam. “Gimme that.”

Elbowing the much heavier man, Adam held the utensil from his ‘opponent’s’ reach. “You in the kitchen’s like a grizzly bear attempting to become a gourmet.”

“Honey, I’m home,” Roth called, chuckling.

Adam shoved the spoon at Nathan. “Here, Gentle Ben. Give it a shot.”

Roth handed the bags to Joseph and opened his arms. His lover stepped into his embrace. Their mouths met and Roth’s entire being sighed. It meant so much to have the one he loved close and waiting for him. After a long moment, he drew back to gaze at Adam. “I bought some things for you. After dinner, we’ll talk.”

Roth sprawled on his back as he labored to catch his breath. Adam, having done the same, rolled to drape half-atop him. He stroked his man’s shoulders, loving the sheen of clean sweat under his touch. “Baby, you almost kill me with pleasure.”

Adam nipped his chest. “Same here.”

Mellow and replete, he said, “Remember, I bought some stuff for you today?”

His lover propped himself up a bit on one bent elbow. The living silk of his black hair slid forward over his shoulders. “Show me.”

Roth disentangled their bodies, staggered once after getting from bed. He had to laugh. “When you fuck me, I go legless.” Going to where he’d had Joseph place the purchases, he picked up the bag and returned to sit on the bed’s edge. On impulse, he leaned low and kissed Adam’s muscle-ridged belly. Sitting up, he began, “The mind is a tricky thing.” Withdrawing the items, he continued, “I want you to just write. Let yourself go.” Spreading the articles, he observed Adam’s expression. “We need your memories, baby. If it hurts, reach out. I’m here.”

Adam ran a large, elegant hand over the items. “It scares me.”

“Of course it does.”

A few nights later, Roth woke to the sound of sobbing. He lightly shook his weeping lover, holding him tight as he tried to absorb the shuddering of Adam’s body. “Wake up!”

Adam thrashed and fought. Roth let him vacate the bed, naked and wild-eyed. “I don’t want it.”

Roth eased to his feet. “What?”

“I don’t want to hold a gun.”

Realizing Adam remained asleep on his feet, Roth led him, “Yes, you do.”

“I like the handguns and shotguns. Not rifles.” Adam glanced around, eyes glazed with unseeing. “Why me?”

Almost ill with it, Roth prevaricated, “Pick up the rifle. We’ll make you into a sniper.”

Adam began to crumple. Roth caught his lover’s heavy body. Adam moaned, “I don’t want to kill people. Just the men who might’ve murdered my family.”

Carrying his lover to bed, Roth whispered, “Baby, I know.”

Roth roused. He swept his hand over the cool, sheet-covered mattress. Panic assailed him. Jerking upright, he glanced around.

Adam sat in the corner chair. “It makes my heart hurt seeing that expression on your face.”

Too relieved to lie, he returned, “I can’t tell you when I’ll stop fearing you’ve bolted.”

Adam rolled up from his seat, naked and glorious. “I accept that.” He put his knee on the bed, easing in for a kiss. “No matter what we discover about my past, I stay with you.”