August

May 12

"Caddy! What do you have? I need a fix."
Caddy cast an annoyed glare at Ashby and looked pointedly over his shoulder.
"If you get me caught, I'm telling everyone that everything is yours."
Ashby looked abashed, then glanced around their little corner of the library.
"Sorry. Nobody heard. What do you have?"
"Um, the same thing I had yesterday, Ash."
Ashby looked sad.
"Nothing new?"
Caddy shook his head.
"It was hard enough to sneak this stash in here. I'm not doing this again."
Ashby crossed his arms over his chest and sighed.
"Well. I guess just give me some of the vodka, then."
Caddy frowned.
"I"m not giving you alcohol, Ashby. You're on like, four different kinds of meds."
Ashby sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.
"Fiiiine. The other stuff, then."
Caddy snorted and set his magazine down.
"What are you, lonely?"
"Shutup, Cadmus." Ashby sniped at him. "Not all of us like to spend our time fantasizing about our family members."
Caddy, who had been about to hop down from the window seat he was currently occupying, turned red and got back into his seat.
"Well. Since you're going to be a bitch, you can get your own hooch."
Ashby looked put out.
"Wait! Come on. I didn't mean it. I thought we were friends?"
Caddy stared at him in disbelief.
"I thought we were, too! I told you about Andy in secret, not so you could make fun of me."
Ashby raised his hands in surrender and backed off.
"OK. OK. Sorry."
Shaking his head, Caddy hopped down from his post and knelt on the floor by the bench.
"Just watch out, OK?"
Ashby nodded, gleeful.
Caddy lifted the cushion of the bench, then felt around for the appropriate crack in the wood and lifted the corner of the wood up, just enough for him to reach his arm in. He felt around for a minute, careful not to knock over any of the jars he'd set inside, and grasped hold of the stack of magazines hidden to the far right. Just as he did, however, Ashby squeaked and hit him, pushing him almost off-balance.
"Caddy! Hurry up! I hear somebody!"
"Shit, Ashby!"
Caddy panicked and tried to pull his arm out, but something must have caught when Ashby had pushed him, because Caddy quickly realized that his arm was well and truly stuck.
"Ashby! I'm stuck! Help!"
Ashby whipped around to look at him.
"Aw, hell, Caddy!"
"Hide me!"
"I can't hide you!!"
"Then PULL ME OUT!" he hissed, and Ashby stepped back, took hold of Cadmus' shoulder, and tried in vain to wrench the arm free.
"You're hurting me!!" Caddy squealed. The footsteps grew closer, and were recognizable now as distinctly adult. This was not good.
"Caddy, it's your shirt! I think your shirt is caught! It - "
"Boys? What are you doing?"
Ashby looked up, spotted their substitute peer group leader, and very heroically squeaked and took off running. Caddy sighed and closed his eyes, resting his forehead on the wooden bench that trapped him.
Well. This was not good at all.

~:~

"Hey."
Sheridan looked up from his book to see James in the doorway of Soyinka's library/workroom.
"Hey."
James rocked back on his heels, his hands locked behind his back.
"Notice anything?"
Sheridan looked him up and down, then shook his head.
"No."
James exhaled in annoyance and came closer to Sher, lifting his shirt.
"Look."
Sheridan looked, but saw nothing. James rolled his eyes.
"Feel."
Hesitantly, Sheridan pressed one hand to James' stomach. James covered it with his own, pressing Sher's fingers into the right spot.
"I'm showing, right? Almost. Practically!"
Sheridan nodded.
"You are." he pressed gently against the bump and smiled up at his friend. "Did you show Harley?"
James shrugged and tossed his hair over his shoulder, the movement suddenly striking Sheridan as ridiculous.
"No. He was gone before I woke up."
"Oh."
Sheridan flattened his palm against James' skin and lost himself for a minute in the sensation of being so close to something so tiny and absolutely impossibly unreal. He wondered what his own body would feel like. Would he know? Could he sense it? How big would it get?
Sheridan looked up suddenly, wanting to look into James' eyes, to feel the human connection he desperately needed. James was watching him, his gaze sheltered by the fringe of his hair. Sheridan swallowed and tried to pull his hand away, but James stopped him.
"Sheridan."
the tone of his voice gave away what his eyes did not. Sheridan shook his head.
"No, James."
Then his chin upturned, and there was James, his eyes open and gaze naked for Sheridan to see.
"Please." he said, his eyes flicking back and forth between Sheridan's. "Please, Sher."
Sheridan swallowed and felt that unnerving consideration pass through his mind. He pushed James back, gently.
"No, James."
In response, the dark haired carrier folded his arms over his chest and bit his lip, looking shut in and frightened. He shook his head.
"I just - once."
Abruptly, James crossed the space between them, took Sheridan's face in his hands, and kissed him. Sheridan was too startled to fight him, but separated them gently as soon as he got his wits back. Apart, James was vulnerable again. He ran a hand through his hair and Sheridan realized his eyes were tearing.
"Please. I just - I need someone to share this with."
Sheridan ached for his friend, he did, but there was too much that too quickly, could become too dangerous.
"No. I - it's not a good idea."
There was silence and James scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. Sheridan reached out to touch him and he recoiled.
"We can be friends, James." he said, his voice low. "We can always be friends. Just nothing else, OK?"
James nodded, but the tears were coming down his cheeks now and Sheridan felt compelled to comfort him.
"Hey." he leaned forward, crossing the space of his own accord, and kissed Sheridan gently on the cheek. "We can be friends, OK? And I can love you that way."
James nodded, still tearful.
"Don't - please don't tell Harley what I did? Or Aaron? That I kissed you?"
Sheridan ran a hand over the top of his friend's hair, smoothing down where it had been mussed by James' nervous touch.
"I won't. I won't. OK? Harley never has to know."
Footsteps at the doorway startled them both and they looked up to see Harley standing there in his uniform shirt and pants, his jacket slung over one shoulder.
"Harley never has to know what?" he asked, in a voice that suggested he already knew.

~:~

Cadmus sat with his arms crossed and his face fixed in a scowl, in his seat across the desk from the Bloc Principal. Principal Winn was a skinny, pinch-faced officer in his 40s who did not look in any way amused by Cadmus, nor his reluctance to answer questions. They had had a rather unfruitful discussion in the minutes prior, but the principal was currently bent over, frowning at some piece of paper on which, Cadmus was sure, he was writing notes about "the incident."

Evidence of said incident was currently lined neatly along the edge of his desk. Caddy sighed. His dad was not going to like this. Especially not after the whole skipping school thing. He was never going to hear the end of it. And he would probably be grounded forever. Which really meant for a week and a half, but still. It was going to be all 'I'm so disappointed in you' and 'Lost opportunities to learn' for the next month, at minimum. Caddy looked up at the clock above the principal's desk. Almost an hour since he'd called. It didn't usually take the driver that long to get here. There was the sound of foosteps and conversation approaching in the hall, and Caddy perked up. Finally, his dad had come to rescue him from the boredom of the supervisor's office.

The door opened and, to Cadmus' deep surprise and fear, revealed not his father, but Henrik. A very irritated Henrik, if the look on his face and the vein in his jaw were any indication. The substitute PGL, who had been escorting Henrik down the hall and, to Caddy's eternal disgust, appeared to be practically fawning over him, stepped back, gave a little wave to the principal, and disappeared. Henrik looked at Cadmus.
"Hello, Cadmus."
Caddy was frozen in place. A thousand questions ran through his mind, but he managed to blurt only one.
"Where's my dad?!"
Henrik raised his eyebrow.
"Your father is at work, Cadmus."
A wave of annoyance at his own stupidity came over him. Of course his dad was back at work. How could he have forgotten? Henrik crossed the room towards the principal and Cadmus, and Caddy sat up a little straighter in his chair, put his hands into his lap, and dropped his eyes. The principal stood, eagerly extending his hand across the desk towards Henrik in greeting.
"Mr. Angstrom! So nice to meet you. I'm Anthony Winn, the Bloc Principal for B Bloc. Cadmus is one of my students."
Henrik shook the man's hand and stood until the principal indicated they sit. Seating himself, he took the chair beside Cadmus, and Caddy leaned away as he could manage. Henrik did not look at him; instead, his eyes flicked briefly down to the desk, to the items of interest lined up along it, then back up to the principal, his face set in an expression of calm disinterest.
"I was called about an incident."
The principal nodded, shuffling some papers.
"Yes, yes. The uh, the incident in question," he took a moment to sneeze, turning his head only slightly away from the desk before handing Henrik a copy of the report. "Sorry. The incident in question refers to the fact that Cadmus was found today in the library by his Peer Group Leader in possession of these items." he gestured to the jars and magazines in front of them. Henrik flicked his eyes down once more, then back up. His lack of response seemed to command the principal to continue.
"The severity of the incident, in addition to Cadmus' rather spotty record of behavior, made us feel compelled to call you in. This has, you understand, become a part of a pattern of behavioral issues that we feel may require therapeutic correction."
Caddy's heart plunged into his stomach at that. They would send him to therapy? For this? It was just a joke, not even anything serious. He wasn't a danger! It was just something fun, just a little entertainment. And Henrik would probably go along with their ideas. He probably had more rules than they did, even. He could start a therapy house of his own. Caddy's throat tightened. If his dad was here, this wouldn't happen. Phidias would never let this happen. I want my dad, Caddy thought. I want my dad.
The principal spoke again.
"Now, in the library, we found several - " Winn was sure to put special emphasis on that word, looking pointedly at Cadmus, "- pornographic magazines in this little 'stash' of his, hidden inside a broken bench, of all places! Pornography, in addition to six different jars of alcohol. We believe he had some intent to redistribute these items to other students."
Henrik's jaw twitched, just slightly. Caddy's heart skipped a beat. I want my dad, he thought. I want my dad I want my dad I want my dad.
"I see. And did my son tell you where he acquired these items?"
The principal shook his head.
"No." he cast another annoyed look at Cadmus. "In fact, he's been quite uncooperative."
Caddy wanted to shrink away and disappear. Henrik inclined his head.
"You say these items were found inside a broken bench in a library."
The principal nodded.
"Yes, Mr. Angstrom, that is exactly the case. We think - "
"Did my son tell you that these were his items?"
The principal hesitated.
"No, but the context in which - "
"Did my son tell you that he had any intention of redistributing these items, which may or may not have been his?"
The principal drew himself up, beginning to bristle at Henrik's tone.
"Mr. Angstrom, in my experience - "
"In my experience, Principal Winn, questions cannot be answered by making assumptions."
Caddy looked over at his stepfather in shock. The principal just glared at him. Henrik looked over the jars.
"Are other students being questioned about this incident?"
The principal glared over at Cadmus.
"Well, given your son's not-so-stellar history here at Brookham, I'd say there's a good chance - "
"I'd say there's a good chance you should choose your next words carefully, Principal Winn."
Cadmus' eyebrows nearly shot into his hair. Calmly, Henrik steepled his fingers and regarded the spread.
"I am certain that Cadmus has had some part in this...incident. And for that, I will punish him. But I am not convinced of anything else, and I will not allow my son to be sent into therapy on hearsay."
The principal was turning an interesting shade of red. Henrik got to his feet, brushed the sleeves of his jacket off, and looked down at the report in his hand.
"Furthermore, I expect that this report will be corrected to reflect what we discussed here today. I don't care for inaccuracy in the reporting of my son's behavior, not when it could affect his personal health."
The principal's eyes darkened, and Caddy noticed he was making fists with his hands on the table.
"Mr. Angstrom, neither I nor Cadmus' peer group leader feel comfortable allowing this behavior to go unpunished in this Bloc. There must be consequences for your son's part in this activity, however small it may have been. The state of things cannot continue. Cadmus has been rude to students, ignored health procedures, refused meals, abandoned assignments or neglected them altogether, skipped classes, and now brought contraband into the Centre! There must be some kind of change!"
Henrik looked mildly surprised.
"Principal Winn, I assure you there will be consequences."
Cadmus' heart began its regular pounding again, trying to break free from his body. "However, Cadmus and I will discuss them at home." Henrik looked over at his stepson for only the second time since he'd arrived. "Cadmus, come." Caddy got to his feet warily and began to follow his stepfather towards the door. The principal stood up and trailed after them, his face still enraged. Henrik turned back to him when they had all reached the door. "And as for your changes, they will be granted immediately. Cadmus Angstrom will no longer be attending the Brookham CEC."


In the car, Caddy looked over at his stepfather, wanting to speak.
"I, um - "
Henrik held up a hand to stop him, still focusing on the report in his lap.
"You answered no questions. Silence is often the best course of action. And you kept your contraband away from your personal space. These were good choices."
Caddy was shocked by the sudden praise. Maybe Henrik wasn't so mad after all?
"I - thanks. I just - "
"However, breaking the rules of the Centre and of our home were bad choices." Henrik paused, then went on. "And in the future, don't use something so identifiable as the jars we keep under the sink at the house."
Caddy sighed and felt stupid all over again. Henrik took one last glance over his report, then placed it inside of a black leather portfolio.
"Breaking the Centre's rules is the least of what you've done here today. Where did you get the alcohol?"
Cadmus focused hard on the floor.
"I took it. From the kitchen." Caddy hesitated, and Henrik waited for more. "During the wedding."
Henrik's set his jaw, and there was silence for several seconds.
"I do not like being stolen from, Cadmus."
Caddy moved to protest, but a sidelong look from Henrik quieted him.
"Nor do I like deceit."
Henrik turned to stare at Cadmus, his gaze intently focused on the young man.
"Where did you get the magazines?"
Caddy looked away, and his answer was barely above a whisper.
"I found them." Henrik waited. After some hesitation, Caddy added, "In Anders' room. They were in a box of books he said he was going to throw away."
Henrik's jaw twitched again and he raised his chin.
"Anders had you in his room?"
It only took Caddy half a second to make his decision about how he would answer that.
"No. He didn't. I snuck downstairs."
Henrik turned and looked into his eyes for a brief moment.
"I see."
"Please don't tell him." Caddy looked up at Henrik, beseechingly. "Please?"
Henrik shook his head.
"I won't abide dishonesty, Cadmus." Henrik exhaled, and Caddy felt sick. "I think you owe him an apology."
Caddy felt tears beginning to well up in his eyes. It had only been two weeks, and already he was going to be a pariah in his own house. He wished his mom was here. He wished his dad was here. He wished he had his old life back.
Henrik had turned away from him, and was looking out at the passing road.
"How much did you sell your contraband for, Cadmus?"
Caddy wasn't sure whether he should answer that, but thought of his stepfather's earlier praise. Perhaps it showed good business sense?
"Two dollars for the vodka. Three for a magazine."
Henrik nodded as he watched the landscape pass them by.
"Doesn't quite seem worth it."

~

"You will finish the school year here, at home. Your father Phidias will reduce his work duties in order to tutor you. I will assist."
Caddy stopped where he was and gaped at Henrik.
"But that's not fair! Dad just got to go back to work - "
"And now he'll come back home."
Caddy shook his head.
"Henrik! That's NOT FAIR!"
Henrik stood quietly, seemingly unruffled by the yelling. Mr. Paul quietly stepped up beside them and took the older man's briefcase, removing it to the study and leaving the two of them alone in the hall.
"You can't do that to my dad! His job is important to him! It's not just a job for him, it's basically who he is!"
Henrik raised an eyebrow.
"I know your father well, Cadmus."
Caddy shook his head in disbelief.
"So why would you do that to him? Make him tutor me?? He doesn't want to tutor me! He wants to do his job! That ISN'T FAIR!!"
Henrik stared at him evenly.
"You're right, Cadmus. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that your behavior has had a negative effect on others. Perhaps in the future, you'll consider that when you think about the choices you make."
"But you - "
Henrik shook his head.
"The discussion of that issue is over, Cadmus. There are consequences for your behavior, for all of us. Until further notice, there will be no riding, no leaving the house without permission, no television, books, or films that I have not personally approved, and for the next two weeks, you will not be attending any of the CEC's social events."
Caddy just shrugged, too miserable to care. He just wanted to go to his room alone. Everything was awful, and it only kept getting worse. No CEC? He would be home-schooled? Even when it had sucked, at least it was something to do during the days. Now he would have even fewer friends than he'd had before. He would be even more alone.
Henrik turned to face him.
"Is all of that clear to you, Cadmus?"
Caddy shrugged. Henrik narrowed his eyes.
"Yes, Henrik. It's clear."
"After two weeks, you will be allowed out on a probationary basis. At the conclusion of the school year, you will spend the summer being intensively tutored to prepare for fall entrance to a private carriers' school. Is that understood?"
Caddy stared at his shoes.
"Yes, Henrik."
Henrik stared at him for a long moment.
"Do you have any questions for me, Cadmus?"
Caddy shook his head. Henrik paused, then leaned down to be close to the young man's face.
"If you have questions, I suggest you ask them now. Because I assure you, Cadmus," he said, his voice slow and deliberate. "You do not want to make the same mistake twice."

~:~