Rise.

Autumn, PreYear Nine (9th moon)

In the ninth moon, Medin reached 16. He refused a celebration, pointing out to Euan that he didn't have any suitors, and so there was nothing that made this day different from the last. He had breakfast alone with Roan, then spent the day working in the fields instead. Euan had tried to coax him into a special gathering in the evening, but he'd adamantly refused. He had other things on his mind. Giving due respect to tradition, he went alone and spent an hour in the temple in the afternoon, but returned looking relatively unperturbed and went back to work. He bathed as usual, changed clothes, and came to dinner with Roan, Euan, Loban, Virgil and Virgil's mate, Clorst. Virgil was on his best behavior, he noted, picking at his food, with the old wolfe around. Clorst smiled at Medin, inclined his head and asked him whether he had any suitors. Medin looked cautiously at Roan and answered that he had none yet, but he was sure they would come. Clorst seemed to accept this, then turned the conversation to Roan.
"It has been some time for you, hasn't it, since your mate was gone?"
Roan ate a carrot, chewed and swallowed.
"Six months."
Clorst mulled this thoughtfully, spinning his glass of wine in his right hand.
"Two seasons past. Perhaps it is time to move on?"
Roan shrugged.
"In due time."
Clorst took a sip of his wine.
"You are young yet, Roan. You have a standing duty to the pack."
Roan's jaw twitched. Virgil covered his mate's hand with his own.
"Alpha, perhaps this topic is difficult for Roan, with the son of his mate in attendance."
Clorst nodded.
"Of course. I didn't think. My apologies, Roan."
Loban raised some point about the summer harvest and the coming winter stores, and the conversation drifted gently off into other matters.

~:~

At home, Euan and Roan went to bathe, and Loban went to oversee an inventory in the storage areas. Medin went alone into his room to sleep. That night, he dreamed of his father.


ColWinter, PreYear Nine (12th Moon)

Roan had a required afternoon meeting with a wolfe who'd just been appointed an Alpha guard; Ro had wanted to skip it, complaining of general malaise, but Loban ignored this briskly and told him it was for his own good. Euan, whose lit was weaned and coming very close to being taken for the nursery, was too distracted to help. And so, with everyone bustling around him, moving all different directions, rushing around to do this, put on that, feed this, and make plans for that, Medin found himself very much alone.

He was alone a lot these days. Sometimes he felt like he was always alone, existing in a world separate from everyone else. Sometimes he felt like he was sleepwalking. Occasionally he imagined himself screaming, shaking everyone from their trance, jolting himself out of this bad dream and back into reality, where Marik was not gone and Roan was OK and Walker had never hurt him. Sometimes, when he could get permission to go out far enough into the fields (not hard to do now that he'd been working there for months), he did just that - he screamed and screamed and hoped like hell that one time, it would work. It never did. Summer came, and went, and still Marik was gone. Fall came and he was alone. Winter came, and he had no father. Light snows fell on BlackForest. Medin went for walks alone.

Sometimes he collected pebbles; other times, leaves or sticks. Anything that he knew he could keep. One afternoon, he went out collecting pebbles, but set his basket down and forgot it by the path. When he went back for it, the handle was damp and there were fresh paw prints in the snow. He didn't tell Loban.

The next day, he went farther out on his path, closed his eyes, and turned his back to the forest. He stood a long time, long enough that his fingers were beginning to get numb with cold and his skin was growing raw in the breeze. From nowhere, so light that it may just have been a part of the wind, a hand touched him, snaked around his side to make a fist over his heart. Medin opened his eyes. Walker stood to his right. Medin just stared at him for a moment. It had been only a year, but the change was remarkable. Walker stood several inches taller than he had, and his body sat more heavily on his bones. His face had a long scar down the entire right side. He looked much, much older. Neither of them had any idea what to say. After an eternity, Walker smiled.
"Medin." he said, and reached out a hand to touch Medin's face.

~:~