Paradise Found
Chapter 27
Cameron hadn’t slept all night. He hadn’t even tried. His head hurt, his eyes hurt, and he felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He had sat up half the night drinking, trying to make himself numb. It hadn’t worked. Now he had a hangover on top of the depression he already felt.
He thought back to the previous evening with Alex, and how it had all gone to hell. He had cried like a baby last night and felt stupid for doing so. He didn’t think he had felt this bad when he and Amy had decided to split up. Yes, he had loved her, but not the way he should have. His feelings for Alex were different, more intense. What he felt for Alex was real, deep, passionate love. He had lost it as quickly as he had found it. Right now, his life sucked. He walked out on the back deck and looked out at the beach with a heavy heart. He didn’t think he could take seeing Alex today, knowing that their brief relationship had reached a stalemate, neither of them willing to budge. Truth be told, he was a little angry about the whole thing. Alex was asking too much of him, too soon. What did the man expect? Until a few days ago, he hadn’t even realized he was attracted to men. At least one man, that is. Alex. Everything the man did turned Cameron on. They had connected on so many levels that he had fallen for him almost instantly. And now…well, he had no idea where to go from here. He glanced over in the direction of Alex’s cottage and frowned. Yes, he was angry. More than that, he was hurt and confused. He needed time to think, to get his head together. He needed to wrap his mind around all of it and see what, if anything, they might be able to do to reach some sort of compromise.Wanting time alone to regroup, he decided that he needed to get away from there for a while. He showered and dressed, trying to keep his mind on anything but the man next door. Grabbing his wallet, cell phone, laptop, and keys, he walked to his car and took off, heading into town. There was a small café there where he could get some work done, he hoped. He really needed to work on his article a little. When he got back this evening, he would talk to Alex and see what they could work out. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do yet, but he knew he didn’t want to lose Alex. Perhaps he could compromise a little. Perhaps Alex would, too. He could only hope.
Alex dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a tank top, fighting back his nerves. He had spent the better part of the morning trying to figure out what to say to Cameron, and finally decided that he had indeed been asking too much of him. There had to be some room for compromise, on both their parts. Jared had made a good point, and he acknowledged that Cameron did deserve more time to adjust to the dramatic changes in his life. Alex wanted to be there to help him through what would be a difficult process.
He slipped on a pair of flip flops and headed out, wandering over to Cameron’s cottage. He was anxious to talk to him, and felt sure that Cameron would be relieved to know that he didn’t have to make all the changes at once. Alex was willing to give him plenty of time and would be there to support him. He walked up the steps on the back deck and tried to open the door, which Cameron rarely locked if he was there. The door was locked. He knocked and waited. Nothing. He knocked again. No answer. He walked around to the front of the cottage and knocked on that door. Still nothing. Walking up towards the parking lot, he discovered that Cameron’s car was not there. His heart sank. Surely Cameron hadn’t left already! He wouldn’t have just walked away from things…would he? Alex felt a cold stab of fear in the pit of his stomach. He had, after all, basically told Cameron goodbye and good luck last night. He had left things like he was calling it quits. At the time, he thought he was. He didn’t think Cameron would leave! Had Cameron left for good? He wasn’t supposed to leave for another couple of days, but if he truly thought they were finished, he might have left sooner. Hell, that had been exactly what he was going to do himself until Jared talked some sense into him. Alex tried to call Cameron’s cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail. He left a message asking him to call. He hoped that Cameron wasn’t ignoring his calls, but that was certainly a possibility. He hadn’t canceled his afternoon flight. If Cameron didn’t come back or call him by then, he would take that to mean that Cameron wasn’t interested in talking to him. With a heavy heart, he finished packing his things, just in case. He prayed to a deity he didn’t even believe in that Cameron would call him back.