The Dehumanization of Ethan Brown

After Ethan got his CDL lse, se, he started to leave mes mes with trucking companies. Jake had managed to convince Ryan to take the job as receptionist for the private investigating company. Jake was right the money was rolling in now that they had established a name for themselves. All Jake wanted to do now was convince their middle brother to join them at the company, but Tobias wouldn’t leave his factory job. Ethan came to Jake’s office after he rece a c a call for an interview for a trucking job. “Ryan, I have an interview with a trucking company in Albany; they only do local hauls nothing beyond the Northeast
“G
“Great,” Ryan said. “Would you like to take me out for dinner?”

“You’re pushing.” Ethan touched Ryan’s face.

Ryan touched Ethan’s bearded cheek. “What are you thinking?” Ryan took Ethan’s hand in his hand and licked his fingers.

“Nothing.” Ethan lost whatever thought he was having as he looked into Ryan’s beautiful blue eyes.

“Dinne
“
“I could open you a bag of kibble.”

“I turned twenty yesterday. In a year, I no longer need a fake ID.”

“You’re too young for me.”

“Your wife is younger than me.” Ryan kissed Ethan’s hand and sniffed it. “We could have fries and burgers at the billiard club.”

“I rather take you out for rare steak. We can go to the Outback and get a large steak each, a pitcher of beer, extra orders of fries and a blooming onion,” Ethan said.

“Sounds wonderful.” Ryan hugged Ethan. “I never dated anyone before.”

“I don’t have much experience myself but holding hands seems to work. My car is in the neighboring lot.”

Ryan left Jake a note that he finished for the day and he left to go out to dinner with Ethan.

The waitress laughed as Ethan ordered food for his friend and himself. “I need to see some ID.” Ethan showed his first and the waitress didn’t ask Ryan. Ryan was relieved he didn’t look much like Tobias’s picture on the fake ID. Tobias hair was darker, he had less freckles, and his nose and chin weren’t as pronounced. However, Tobias was five years older so the date was right. “You two are going to eat all that food,” the waitress laughed again.

“It’s my money,” Ethan said. “I can spend it somewhere else.”

Ryan snuggled next to Ethan in the booth as he started his beer and onion. “So this is a date?”

“You never have been on a date.” Ethan sliced the brown bread with the huge butter knife provided.

“I married Nici when I was thirteen when did I have time to date. Nici and I didn’t meet until our wedding day. American television talks about marrying for love. I have sex with Nici because we’re expected to have it. I don’t have much affection for her.”

“Do you feel affection for me?” Ethan touched Ryan\'s knee. The restaurant seemed so empty at seven o\'clock on a Tuesday night. The bar was crowded though.

“Considerable. I love snuggling with you. How could I love you when I’m suppose to love my wife?”

“Do you like Nici?” Ethan moved his fingers through Ryan\'s hair. It was clean and brushed; all the tangles were gone. Ethan enjoyed the small touches, wanting to be touched by someone from his pack all the time. It wasn\'t sex; it was intimacy that he craved. He needed to be connected to other members of his pack. Ethan rolled his finger around Ryan\'s ear.

Ryan sighed lightly like a cat purring. “She’s okay. We don’t have any meaningful conversations. Do you love Ria?”

“No.” Ethan touched Ryan’s cheek. “This meal is costing me half my week’s salary so you better enjoy it.”

“I’m enjoying the company.” Ryan touched Ethan’s hand.

“Me, too,” Ethan said. \"Can I kiss you?\"

Ryan moved his fingertips over Ethan\'s brow. \"God, yes.\"

Ethan planted a slow tentative kiss on Ryan\'s lips.

The waitress put the salads on the table. The second plate hit the table with a ringing sound some lettuce spilled on the table. \"I\'ll get you another one.\"

\"I don\'t care much for salad,\" Ryan said.

\"I\'ll be back to clean up the mess,\" the waitress said.

Ethan put his hand on Ryan\'s face. \"Did you like that?\"

\"Did I?\" Ryan smiled as he brought Ethan\'s hand down to his lap.

\"In a large pack where no one has a full time job, we would touch casually constantly. With us all working, we hunger for strokes and hugs.\" Ethan put his hand on Ryan\'s arm. \"I felt so much better when I was home and the children hugged me frequently. Going back to work is so lonely.\"

\"I work alone.\" Ryan started to eat his salad.

Ethan returned to eating his bread.

\"We startled the waitress.\"

\"Would you like to do it again?\"

\"I rather that she didn\'t drop more food.\" Ryan put his hand on Ethan\'s thigh a moment.

---

Jake woke Ethan in the middle of the night and dragged him by the arm to the kitchen. “You stay away from my little brother,” Jake said.

“Your brother is old enough to make his own friends,” Ethan said as he filled a glass with water.

“I know what kind of pervert you are and you aren’t corrupting my little brother.” Jake took some food from the small freezer to heat in the microwave.

“He asked me to join him for dinner. No one twisted his arm. I need to get some sleep. I have work in the morning.” Ethan drank his water before heading back to sleep.

Ethan heard Ryan and Jake fight as the women were making breakfast and the children started their day. “Ethan, could you take me out for a bagel? I need to get away from my pigheaded brother. What right does he have to tell me who my friends should be?”

“You can’t go anywhere naked.” Ethan touched Ryan’s shoulder.

“I get on my jeans.” Ryan return downstairs in jeans and tee shirt. “Better.” Ryan pushed on a pair of rather worn sneakers. “The only thing good about being small is that I can buy my clothes in the boys’ department. This shirt cost me two dollars on clearance and the jeans were five.”

“I don’t see you as small,” Ethan said.

“My brothers tower over me,” Ryan said.

“You know what they say. Good things come in small packages.” Ethan kissed Ryan’s cheek and put his hand through the curly blond hair much needing to be combed. “You’re beautiful the way you are.”

Jake pulled Ryan by the arm. “I need you at the office. You’ll have to talk to your boyfriend later.”

“I’ll take you out for lunch.” Ethan kissed the young man’s forehead before Jake dragged his younger brother to his truck. Ethan was stuck behind a desk again. Captain Brooks claimed that his leg didn’t have sufficient time to heal. Ethan told Captain Brooks\'s secretary that he was going to lunch and he would be back in an hour.

Ryan met Ethan outside a bagel shop. “So is your captain riding your butt?”

“Worse. He’norinoring me.”

“And the other guys?” Ryan asked taking Ethan’s hand.

“None of them will talk to me. I sit there all day and type boring reports. I can hear them whispering about me but I don’t feel like listening in.”

“At least, my brother isn’t giving me the silent treatment,” Ryan said. “I was glad a call came in and his wife and him had to go to two different jobs. You should work for him. It would be a boost for his business to have a former cop working for him.”

“Has he brought you a car?” Ethan walked to the counter and they waited in line to order their bagels.

“No way. He wants me in the office where he can keep an eye on me.” Ryan was close to twenty years younger than Jake and, sometimes, Jake treated him more like a son than a younger brother.

“Your brother won’t hire me. Ever since the wedding, he hates me. I don’t remembering whizzing in his cornflakes.”

“I’m sure one of those trucking companies will hire you. Just keep sending out resumes,” Ryan said.

“The company in Albany called back,” Ethan said.

“Go for it.”

Captain Brooks joined them at their table. “Brown, the other men heard about your leg,” he said. “I think it would be best if you left the department.”

“I was misdiagnosed. It was only a hairline fracture,” Ethan insisted. “This is Ryan. My wife and his wife are best friends. We met at the wedding.”

“Hello,” Captain Brooks said. “You boys can eat a lot.”

“Fast metabolism. It’s a curse. You should see my food bill,” Ethan said. “My college days, I spent every penny I could find on food.”

“I wish I had that curse,” Captain Brooks said patting his round gut.

“You don’t.” Ethan ate his vegetable and hummus bagel.

“The men are whispering about you. They’re calling you unnatural and no one wants to be partnered with you if a bust goes down,” the captain said. “You understand.”

“So I’m desk bound,” Ethan said.

“If you weren’t a good typist, I would let you go,” the captain said.

“I’ll talk my brother into hiring you,” Ryan said.

“Have a nice day, boys,” the captain said as he left their table.

“Asshole,” Ethan said. “Why does your brother hate me?”

“He thinks you’ll corrupt me.” Ryan ate his second egg and ham sandwich.

“You’re a grown man.”

“He thinks you’ll convince me to leave the pack.”

“I supposed to be Juan’s second in command but he still talks to Jake more than me. If it weren\'t my m tha that paid the property taxes, I would leave.”

“Leave Juan and Jake the responsibility,” Ryan said.

“Neither of them have money.” Ethan drank his orange juice. “I feel trapped in that house with two men that don’t trust me.”

“I trust you,” Ryan said as he reached over the table and touched Ethan’s hand.

“I trust you, too.” Ethan got up from his seat and tossed his garbage in the can. “Ryan, I’ll walk you back to Jake’s office.”

“I can manage,” Ryan said. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Anytime.” Ethan put his hand briefly on Ryan’s back before they parted company.