Queensbride

Chapter Twenty Six - "In Which Phi meets the Baron on the Green and his Eight Ladies."

Please leave the mods alone. They do a very good job and I am thankful for it. Perhaps my own insecurities got the best of me...

103 five-star ratings as of this post! I never thought it would be this popular, and maybe it's distorted my vision a bit as to why I write; which is that the Queen has a cattle prod.

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Chapter Twenty Six - "In Which Phi meets the Baron on the Green and his Eight Ladies."

At long last the Queen's carriage came upon the Baron’s estate. It was a stonework mansion so grand it almost looked like a castle itself, with great arched doors and multifaceted windows like the ones back home, but these sparkled with the reflections of the vivid flora in bloom throughout the sprawling gardens. The Queen inhaled their fragrance deeply as She stepped from the carriage.

It was good to be back.

“Isadj! The White Lady has returned at last!”

The Queen looked up to see a heavyset man joyfully bounding his way towards Her and She smiled.

“Baron Bertie. It's been too long, hasn’t it?”

Phi peered out from the carriage in an attempt to assess the situation before anyone noticed her. The man didn’t seem all that dangerous. In fact he looked a plump and pleasant person, the sort that carried a sense of laughter with them wherever they went. She watched in amazment as the Queen embraced the man heartily and he Her in return. How this jolly little man was getting on so well with her imposing Queen escaped her at first, but Phi soon caught sight of the vital trait they shared; that mischievous twinkle in their eyes.

'Crike...'

“My goodness, Isadj, You are tall! Every time I think of You I remember You being just yay high. Oh how my little Issy has grown! Your coachman is welcome to stay in the guesthouse and I’ll have my porters bring Your things in straight awa- oh, is that her?”

Phi shrank back inside but it was too late.

‘Criiiiiike…’

“Phi, come out here and meet My friend the Baron on the Green. Or should I say Baron on the Rainbow given the beauty of these gardens?”

“Oh You flatter me. Actually it was the girls’ doing and oh look how cute!”

The Queen pulled the girl from the carriage and the Baron’s servants led the carriage away, leaving Phi with nowhere to hide but behind the Queen Herself.

“Phi, stop that and come here. He’s not going to eat you.”

“Yes, dear girl. I may have this belly, but not for that reason I can assure you, ha ha!”

Phi found it curious that he actually spoke the words 'ha ha', but something else was even more so.

“‘Issy’?” She asked.

The Queen made a face. “You just processed that now? How is ‘Sidja’ any different?”

The Baron’s face lit up. “She has a name for You too? ‘Sidja’? Oh that is so sweet, and my, why are we standing about out here? Let's go inside and get You both settled in.”

Phi scratched the back of her neck and it dawned on her that she was being watched. She cast about until she saw several faces peering out from the manor’s entryway. They ducked back in upon being seen but the Baron followed Phi’s gaze and waved to them.

“We’re coming, we’re coming, ladies! I hope you have everything prepared for our royal guests!”

The faint sound of giggling floated across the garden and the faces disappeared as the Baron led the Queen and Phi towards the manor.

“I’m so sorry to make You walk all this way, oh Royal Majesty of the North.”

“I’ll survive somehow. Besides, it gives Me a chance to get a better look at what you’ve grown here. My little servant should also be quite interested as I told her she could run around out here a bit later. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, not at all. The girls will be happy to hear you both enjoy it so much!”

“Just how many do you have now?”

“Eight. Eight lovely ladies.”

“Eight?” Phi piped up behind them.

“Phi, behave yourself.”

The Queen smacked the girl in the chest without turning around and the Baron laughed at Her obvious delight in doing so.

“Ah Isadj, You didn’t tell her about me?”

“I thought I’d leave all this as a lovely surprise for her. I get the most interesting complaints when I do.”

They came upon a stairway and the Baron ushered them up inside. It was cool and dim within, and though Phi was immediately relieved by the temperature change she had to wait several moments for her eyes to adjust before she could take in her new surroundings. She judged from the foyer that the manor was no less lavish than the palace back home but in a far more rustic style. Dark, lacquered wood replaced the stone favoured up North and the lower ceilings gave the rooms a warmer, more comforting feel. There was much more besides, but the girl's attention soon returned to the women hovering about.

The Baron clapped his hands and eight lined up before them.

“Well, no reason to keep it a surprise any longer. Let me introduce you both to my lovely companions.”

He walked behind them and placed a hand on each shoulder as he said their names.

“We have Constantine, Abigale, who we call Abby, Corinthia, Bernadette, Elizabeth, who we call Lizzy, Matilda, who we call Matty, Sheralin, who we call Sherry, and Molly, who we call silly. Girls, this is the White Lady and Her little girl Phi. Say hello, girls!”

They curtsied in turn and joined in a chorus of ‘hellos’.

The Queen nodded and Phi did the same, but the girl continued to stare at the women as the Baron led them into the sitting room. Once there the Queen and the Baron sat upon one of the plush couches scattered throughout the room and the women left to get refreshments, but Phi hesitated at the door.

‘I want to sit in my spot near Her legs, but not with other people around, even if they are Her friends. Do I sit next to Her on the couch? On a different couch? Should I follow those women? I don’t want to follow those women.’

Phi paced uncertainly until the Baron gestured her over.

“Ah, now let’s take a good look at you, my girl. I can’t tell you how surprised I was to read that your Lady had taken an interest in someone. I knew you must be very special.”

“Indeed she is. Come here, Phi.” Queen said and looked on contently as Her fellow inspected Her prize.

“And You say You found her in Your garden? A member of Your kingdom?”

“A member of My serving staff that I had overlooked. Scullery maids are seldom allowed upstairs, but this one couldn’t help herself and hid in the rafters of the great hall to spy on Me every night. Such a silly girl you are.”

“That would explain this pale skin. My how tiny she is! How old are you, dear girl?”

“I, I don’t really know.” Phi said with growing illness.

“Don’t know? Surely you have birth records, yes?”

The memory of the shadowy figures at the dock began to stir in her mind and she struggled to block them out.

“I, well, y-you see, I-“

“Unfortunately her birth records seem to be lost, but she claims to have memory of My coronation procession and that would put her at least in her second decade. I suppose everything just blends together in the scullery."

Phi sagged with relief as her Queen continued on, so very much in love with Her.

"Oh you should have seen the awful mess she was when I first got her. Usually I have her hair curled but I didn’t have time this morning. She really does look like a little doll, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, and such expressive eyes! You can sit down if you like, little Phi, I just wanted to get a look at who the great Isadj chose to be Her rose after all these years. Really, Issy, I thought You had left us forever after that fiasco with Your last rose. Such terrible luck. Damn the fool!”

The Queen patted a spot on the sofa beside Her, then changed Her mind and placed a pillow at Her feet. Phi seized upon it mindlessly and the Queen wrapped Her legs about her in Her usual fashion.

“Fredrick, yes…”

A shadow passed over the Queen’s face but disbanded as She stroked Her servant’s hair. “Not at all like you, My little one.”

The Baron’s girls, or rather women, as some of them looked to be in their fourth decade, had filtered back into the room with tea and sandwiches and now found their seats amongst the sofas and pillows. The Baron kissed the nearest one on the cheek.

“Thank you, my dears! My Lady, Phi, do help yourselves. It’s still a bit until dinner, but I’m sure you’re both famished from travel.”

Phi reached up to fetch a tea sandwich for her Queen but the Queen held her down and got the girl a sandwich instead.

“That’s sweet of you Phi, but they are right next to Me. Bertram you must have some of the tea she makes before we leave. It is really quite amazing.”

“Oh ho! That must have been a boon to find. I know how fond You are of tea.”

“It was indeed. In fact I found out that the head of household was hiding her from Me so that she could keep the tea to herself. I should have made that woman drink sand. What amazes Me is that Phi taught herself how so she could befriend people through it. The girl has a certain amount of willful craftiness I do so enjoy, within reason.”

“Well I’m a lager man myself. It’s how I stay in shape!”

‘He must really be proud of that.’ Phi thought idly as the Baron patted his belly.

Phi had relaxed somewhat now that she was tucked up against her Queen, but as the women returned so too did her anxiety, and she drew herself further into the Queen’s skirt for protection.

‘They’re judging me, I can just feel it, just sizing me up to see how good a servant I am compared to them. I wish they’d go away.’

The Baron leaned forward in his seat.

“Now You say she would spy on You? I’m surprised You didn’t kill her.”

”For some reason I didn’t feel threatened. The truth is I found it rather funny. Add that to the fact that winter was dragging on and I was so verily bored. Thank you for the book, by the way. I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly. So has Phi, but she’ll never admit it.”

Phi’s cheeks burned but said nothing, retreating within herself as the two of them laughed overhead.

‘This most certainly is going to be a very long trip.’

The Baron made a gesture to the group of women by his side and one obediently poured him a drink.

“Thank you, my loves. Ah, so You’ve actually tried a few? Stop me if I’m asking too much, but wouldn’t that have been difficult given the anatomy between the two of you? She is a female, yes? Sometimes these young men look so feminine, ha ha!”

“Yes, she’s quite female, but now that You’ve reminded Me, I wanted to ask if you could make a sort of belt for the glass dagger. I’ve been using scarves but it doesn’t always stay how I want it to.”

“You’ve been wearing it? That’s brilliant! You never cease to amaze. Yes, a belt is a splendid idea, maybe fitted with a new glass dagger so both of You can enjoy. Ha ha! Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to show You this new contraption I’ve been working on.”

The Baron pulled out a small, carved box and took from it a round metal object about the size of an egg with a little wind key at one end.

“Now You see, You wind this up as far as You can…and then…wait, let me get it wound all the way. There! Isn’t that lovely?” He asked as the egg buzzed about in his hand. “Can You imagine the possibilities?”

The Queen took the vibrating egg and inspected it with a devious grin. “Oh yes, yes indeed. I simply must have one of these. One or more.”

“Ha! But the problem is that it runs out too fast and the more vicious I make the little bugger the shorter the amount of time I get from it. Wouldn’t You know it? Ah well, it’s just a prototype, but if You like it, do take it! I only ask that You give me a full report on the effectiveness. I know how it is on my girls, but I think it needs to be put through further testing, wouldn’t You agree? Ha ha!”

The girls giggled bashfully but the one at the Queen’s feet said nothing, having willed herself to sleep to escape her situation.

The Queen patted her head and sighed.

“Well that’s one way out of a conversation. Phi, wake up, you’re being rude.”

She nudged the dozing girl at her feet and Phi rubbed her face against Her leg as the Baron looked on in apparent fascination.

“It’s amazing that You let her so close. She’s actually touching You. Amazing, simply amazing.”

“Does letting her touch Me breach My godlike status?” The Queen asked with a wry half smile.

“No, no. It’s just You’ve always had such a thing about letting Your past servants touch You.”

The Queen looked down at Phi, who was once again trying to fall asleep.

“Usually I’d hear some witty remark from her in regards to all this, but she’s been rather quiet. Perhaps it was the long ride.”

“Yes, I hope it was a smooth one, though? Maybe she needs some fresh air. I know we all just came inside, but there’s still a little day left. Let’s go out to the veranda and let her run around a bit while the girls get supper ready. Would you like that, little Phi?”

The girl nodded drowsily, looking very much as if about to fall back to sleep, but the second they had re-seated themselves outside Phi bolted headlong into the thick of the garden. She drove herself in deeper and deeper until she found a hidden corner and lay down by a cluster of bright red poppies, now brilliant with the gold of the setting sun.

At last she was free.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like the Baron. He seemed a nice enough person, kind to his servants, her Queen, herself. The fact that he made her Queen so happy earned him a significant amount of gratitude by default. Given some time she was sure she could adjust to the man’s odd presence, even if he did see her as some sort of pet animal.

But then that was just it. He had eight women as She had her, and with that in common Phi felt lumped in with these other eight, something bothered her tremendously for reasons unknown. All through dinner their cheerful, giggling presence made Phi ever more anxious and she was determined to keep her distance, but the Queen had something else in mind.

“You really haven’t spoken with the Baron’s girls yet, have you? I must say I’m surprised. I would have thought you’d be off with them by now. It’s been so long since you were amongst your own kind, after all. Stop hiding at My feet and mingle with them for a while. Trade servant secrets or what-have-you.”

Phi cringed from her spot on the floor, tucked in her Queen’s skirts again as they drank their after dinner wine.

‘“My own kind”? I should say not. Look at them. They’re nothing like me, nothing like me at all.’

She tried to escape her Queen’s suggestion by digging even further back into Her skirts, but the Queen brought Her legs together behind her and pushed her out.

“Oh no you don’t. Scoot. The Baron and I have some catching up to do.”

“But, but Sidja, haven’t You been catching up all night?” She hazarded.

“At what point did I say this was open for discussion? You can come to bed in about an hour. I won’t be up much longer than that.”

The Baron stroked his beard and laughed. “Yes dear girl, go on. We have some… secrety things to discuss without all these pretty sets of ears listening in. Girls, be the dears you are and show Phi about.”

Phi could see she didn’t have much choice and followed the frightfully cheerful women out of the room with a sigh.

“What a strange, silly girl You have, Isadj. I know I must have said this quite a few times already, but I’m really surprised by Your choice.”

The Queen leaned back in Her chair and took a long sip of wine.

“What’s to be surprised about? That she’s female?”

“No, no that’s not it. It’s something about the way she is. She’s rather…rough around the edges, wouldn’t You say? Knowing You I’d expected a perfectly trained specimen out of a classical painting. You always did demand so much from the others You showed me.”

“Perhaps that was the problem, Bertram. You know they all left Me in the end. I don’t think you ever met Celia, but you must know the story. After that I wanted to own My servants down to their very souls, but that didn’t work either. So I gave up. Then this one came along, and-”

“Wait.” The Baron said quietly and raised his hand. “I can’t believe it, no I can’t believe it but it’s been buzzing about my head since the two of You got off the carriage. It’s not something about the way she is, it’s something about the both of You.”

The Queen laughed and poured another glass. “What in the world are you going on about?”

The jolly man grew more excited by the second as he grasped Her free hand and shook Her whole arm.

“Isadj my girl, You’re in love!”

The Queen spit Her wine out in his face.

“What?” She struggled to ask between bouts of coughing and attempts to dry the Baron’s face with Her napkin.

“No, no don’t fuss over me, I’m fine. Oh my poor Issy, perhaps I should have waited until after You had swallowed that, but it was such a wonderful revelation.”

The Queen managed to recover Herself but the look of disbelief remained etched into Her face. “Bertie, for shame! You know I love your sense of humour, but now I have to get this dress laundered. Oh what a mess.”

“I kid You not, my Dear, and I bet she loves You back. How could anyone not?”

“Because I’m a crusty old witch, Bertie, and a cursed one at that. That girl is absolutely livid that I dragged her out here for the Circle. I just know she’s going to be as difficult as she can possibly be tomorrow.”

“Oh stop it with that curse, first of all. It makes no sense that Angalsad would do such a thing. Your father was never into that superstitious nonsense. It’s all in Your head. Second, listen to what You just said. Isadj, I know You. I’ve seen You with Fredrick and Alfred and James and I know that You wouldn’t have cared one wink if any of them had reservations. I saw that girl complain to Your face in front of me and the girls, and You did nothing more than brush her off.”

“Just because I give her more lead on the leash doesn’t mean I’m in love with her. Honestly, do you know how many times I’ve nearly killed that one? The only reason she gets away with what she does is because I find it amusing.”

“Well deny it all You like, but I’ll stick to my version as it pleases me to do so. Ha ha, how wonderful, how delightful! And you know she’s not such a bad catch. You say she makes a good cup of tea and seems happy enough to be between Your legs. I can’t wait to see what she looks like underneath, like a tiny little doll no doubt! Does she have any idea what to expect tomorrow?”

The Queen doubted the Baron had changed the subject by accident but had no desire to switch it back.

“She’s accurately deduced that she will be nude at some point and though I haven’t told her anything further, I think she’s bracing for the worst.”

“Worst, ay? No one’s going to hurt her, not much anyway. Ha! Yes, she doesn’t seem too comfortable with her situation. What do You suppose her reaction will be when You actually present her, being as willful as she is?”

“I’m the one bracing for the worst in that respect. She has no problems with most anything else I tell her to do, but I still can’t seem to get her to come around to the idea of physical ownership. Terrible, terrible tantrums from that little thing, and don’t think she got away with them either. Still, it always ended in a mess for both of us until I struck a bargain with her.”

“You? Struck a bargain? You see? You see? That’s what I mean. The White Queen doesn’t bargain with Her servants, not unless She really, really cared for-”

“Bertie stop. No more about this, especially not to her. She’s unstable enough as it is.”

The man looked crestfallen but nodded apologetically. “I’m sorry, Isadj. I’ve just always prayed that You’d find someone to care for You after Your father died.”

The room seemed darken and the Queen stood abruptly, the intense chill in Her eyes the only sign of emotion on Her otherwise impassive face.

“I think it is about time I retired. Good night, Bertram. Thank you again for your hospitality. It is well appreciated.”

The Baron realized his mistake and rushed to apologize but the Queen merely nodded and with a few brisk steps She was gone. 

“Damn.” The Baron said to the empty room. “Looks like you stepped in it again, Bertie old boy. I hope the girls fare better with the little one than I did with the big one. Ha ha!”

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