Through The Glass.

Author's Note: Before we begin, I must apologize profusely for how long it took me to post this chapter. My computer got sick for a bit and was running extremely slow. It still isn't fixed but I've managed to get around it. On top of that the previous chapters were already written months ago, so I had to gain momentum to do this. To my readers, I hope that you thoroughly enjoy this and accept my apologies.

Yours truly, with much remorse,
Asphyxiate.Me.Baby.


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When things hurt, we build walls.

We build walls all around us to protect ourselves from something, anything in the world that could hurt us. We build them up as strong as we can in the hopes that they’ll make us stronger.

But they don’t, really. They may be strong, but as people we’re the weak ones for having built them in the first place. And the trouble about these walls is that eventually, they all fall down.

I can’t say I’m sure why I built mine to begin with, but ever since I was a child they had always been there. Maybe I was afraid of being loved. Or I could have just grown so numb from being the shadow in my family that I thought it would be better just to hide.

I was always independent. No one ever got the best of me because I never let anyone in. I believed in what I thought was right and I stood by those beliefs. I was stronger then.

But somehow Matt had brought all those walls down. He’d drawn me into his world, a world full of nothing but devastation for me. Despite all of that, he somehow became my world. He became everything to me.

And even now, that I had hit the lowest I’d ever been, it seemed like I would never get away. I knew that the second he offered me two more lines of something I thought I’d given up long ago.

I knew it the second that I snorted meth again.

But I built up more walls so I wouldn’t have to believe that I’d given in, again.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


It happened everyday as soon as Matt had left for work. I’d shower, get dressed and walk quickly to Chris’ house. We’d met everyday in the last month, ever since the ‘accident’ happened. I didn’t even know what to call it. I tried not to think about it anymore. I didn’t want to.

Today was no different as I sat on Matt’s sofa and he brought me a beer before sitting down next to me. We sipped silently, before he leaned over and kissed an exposed spot of my neck softly.

“Chris,” his name left me in a breathy whisper. On so many levels, this was wrong. No matter how much I tried to hate him, I still loved Matt. And I was deceiving Chris with promises of a love that didn’t exist. And his girlfriend. She didn’t know it, but I was deceiving her too.
I pulled away.

“I’ve never met your girlfriend.”

Chris jerked away quickly, staring at me quizzically before responding, “Why would you want to?”

I shrugged, “Just curious, I guess.”

His hand cupped my chin and he forced me to look at him. “You know I would leave her in a heartbeat, if you wanted me to.”

I felt a pang of guilt and pain as he said those words. “Why?”

He placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “I don’t love her. Not like I love you.”

And I didn’t even have to think about it, because I knew everything he said was true. And even though I should have hated myself for it, it was the most amazing thing anyone had ever said to me.

I spoke without thinking.

“Take me.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It wasn't long before Chris and I found ourselves stumbling towards his bedroom, clothes falling in disarray all over the house. We fell backwards on his bed, and before he made a single move he looked down at me.

"I love you."

"I know," was all I could say before his hands were in between my legs, touching me in all the right places and I felt on fire again and it was good, it was so good. Chris was such a good lover, his tenderness, his touches. It had been such a short while since we became intimate and yet I felt like he had known the curves of my body forever.

All that could leave my mouth were small gasps and hisses as I was at a loss for words.

Chris, however, was not.

"I love you much more than her. Always will," he breathed, kissing my neck and working his way down to my chest, teasing my nipples with a small flick of his tongue.

"She's not as beautiful as you," he whispered before taking one nipple into his mouth, using his hand to tease the other as I lay below him in a quivering mess, trying to ignore his words, trying not to hear them before they made me feel too guilty.

He mouth travel lower, his tongue flicking out a tasting me, and I almost screamed. It was agonizing, what he was doing to me.

"She doesn't taste as good as you do," he said before continuing to tease me with his tongue.

Finally he got up and positioned himself before pushing himself in to the hilt so quickly that I let out a long moan.

His breath came out in pants, and he gazed up at me longingly, eyes hazed over in lust. He brought his mouth close to my ear, his moist breath tickling me.

"God, Allison, she doesn't even come close."