Everything You Want
folder
Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
28
Views:
6,070
Reviews:
73
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
28
Views:
6,070
Reviews:
73
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Forever
Everything You Want
Chapter 26:
Forever
Somewhere in time I know,
Darling you\'ll come back to me...
Roses will bloom again,
But spring feels like eternity.
In your kiss it wasn\'t goodbye.
You are still the reason why…
Robert rubbed his weary eyes and shifted in the chair he’d been sitting in for the last three days, beside the bed that Bella had been sleeping in for just as long. He was really starting to get concerned, though the doctor at the hospital had assured him that physically, Bella was perfectly healthy. Mentally, however… That was a different story.
Cole’s funeral had been one of the hardest services he’d ever had to attend. If Lacey hadn’t been there by his side, he didn’t know if he would’ve been able to keep it together. Cole’s parents had been an emotional wreck, barely able to stand on their own. Mrs. Hastings had literally thrown herself onto her son’s casket, cursing the God that had taken her baby boy away from her.
Bella, on the other hand, hadn’t spoken a word since Cole had been taken from her protective embrace. During the ceremony, her glassy blue eyes had stayed locked on Cole’s coffin, never wavering in their vacant stare. Robert had practically had to carry her from the church. When they’d gotten home that evening, he’d put Bella to bed and that’s where she’d been ever since.
‘She should’ve woken up by now,’ he thought with a troubled frown deepening the lines in his otherwise youthful face. Brushing his fingers over her pale cheek, Robert silently willed for her eyes to open.
“Please, baby. Wake up, come back to me,” he murmured as he straightened up and headed to the door.
Hearing her bedroom door close softly behind her father, Bella opened eyes that were once happy and full of life, but now were dull and despondent as she stared blankly at her surroundings.
‘Come back? Why? There’s nothing here for me anymore. Nothing. Cole is gone and he’s not ever coming back… ’
Curling into herself, Bella’s body shook with tearless sobs. There were no more tears to be cried. She was empty, barren. Her eyes were dry and swollen. Bringing her fingers to her lips, she tried to imagine the feel of Cole’s mouth on her own. The last kiss they’d shared hadn’t been enough, their one night of passion already beginning to fade, and she longed for just one more moment with him…
I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room,
My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon.
I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly.
\"Love me now forever,\"
Were the last words you said to me...
Sometimes, if she listened hard enough, Bella could swear Cole was still there, whispering to her while she lay there dreaming of him. Telling her that he loved her and that he would never leave her. Promising her that she wouldn’t ever be alone, because he would always be by her side.
When she closed her eyes she could still see him, standing in the distance, always just out of reach. His obsidian strands gleaming in the sunlight, bright green eyes locked on her, and that goofy lopsided grin plastered on his handsome face. He would reach out a hand, beckoning her… but, Bella could never reach him before he vanished.
She ached all over. It was as if when Cole died, a part of her had died with him. What was there left for her to live for now that he was gone? Clutching her pillow tightly to her chest, Bella gazed unseeingly out her window, Cole’s last words to her echoing through her mind.
“I love you, Bella. Forever.”
Forever. What did that mean? If that was true, then why wasn’t he still here? As much as she tried, Bella couldn’t understand what he’d meant when he’d said that she didn’t need him anymore. He was her everything, her reason for living.
“What do I do now, Cole? How do I live without you?” she whispered brokenly into the silence of her room. Shutting her eyes once more, Bella drifted back into uneasy slumber…
And when the morning comes,
My hands still reach out for you.
Some things remain the same,
There is nothing I can do.
I can barely get through the day
Ever since you went away…
Life inevitably went on, despite the near hopelessness Bella felt as she greeted every day with the same empty feeling lodged deep down in her soul. Each morning she would wake reaching out for Cole, hands searching for the warmth of his body, fingers itching to feel his soft skin. Then, she would open her eyes and her heart would weep at the sight of the bare space next to her where Cole should be.
Day after day, she dragged herself out of bed, went through the routine of getting ready for school, and then spent her hours there shuffling around the building in a half conscious daze. Though she could plainly see the sympathetic looks the students and teachers cast her when she passed by them, Bella couldn’t bring herself to meet their eyes. She knew if she did, she would break down into a puddle of miserable, heartbroken tears.
Graduation finally came, Bella going through the motions of accepting her diploma and acting the part of the happy graduate, but she knew her father and Lacey saw right through the cheerful façade. It frightened them to see her ebbing away to barely a slip of the girl they used to know. Her face was hollow and sunken, cerulean orbs emotionless and blank. Robert suspected that from the way her clothes hung on her thin, gaunt figure, the only time she ever ate was when he placed the food in front of her.
Rarely did she ever exit her room except to go to school and to the bathroom. But, in spite of all he saw and knew, Robert was helpless to do anything but be there for her when she decided she was ready to open up, as Lacey assured him, in time, she would. Although it was killing him to see her suffering from such acute anguish, all Robert could do was watch… and wait…
Heaven help us cross this endless sea,
With starlight above to guide you to me.
Waves crashing on distant shores,
They\'re calling our names forever more…
“Bella?”
Raising her head from her barely eaten bowl of cereal, Bella gave her father an ‘I’m listening’ look. “Yeah, Dad?”
Deciding to skip the pleasantries and get right to the point, Robert grasped one of his daughter’s hands in a tight hold with his own and locked troubled hazel eyes on her stoic expression.
“With every day that’s passed since the accident, I’ve felt you slipping farther and farther away. I can’t stand that you refuse to talk to me, or anyone else for that matter, about how you’re feeling.” Pausing to squeeze her limp hand, Robert sighed deeply.
“I’m afraid, Bell. Terrified of the idea of losing you, too.”
Tugging her hand away, Bella pushed away from the breakfast table and strode quietly over to the sink, her back to the distressed man watching for any sign that she was ready to talk.
“I’m scared, too, Dad,” she murmured forlornly as tears streaked unchecked down her cheeks and onto the cold metal of the washbasin below her. “But as much as I try, as much as I want to be happy again, I can’t seem to find a reason to want to get out of bed each morning, a reason to smile and look forward to the future. Without Cole, my outlook on a life devoid of his light, his love… seems hazy and bleak. Without him there isn’t a reason for me to go on, nothing left for me to hold on to, and I can’t help but feel like I’m drowning…”
Trailing off as a lump formed in her throat, Bella pressed the back of one trembling hand to her mouth. “I miss him so much, daddy. So much… I just don’t understand why God would do this to me. Why does He hate me so much? Wasn’t it enough for Him to take mom away? Why did He have to steal Cole away from me, too?!”
With that angry exclamation, Bella choked back a sob and fled from the room. Deciding it was probably best for him to just leave her be, Robert exhaled heavily and stared after her retreating form. Tilting his chin, he closed his eyes and silently prayed to the seemingly cruel God so intent on torturing his family.
‘Please help my daughter. Help her, because I sense that time alone will not be enough to heal the wounds inflicted on her heart…
A/N
Please don’t hate me, I love you. backs away from her angry readers Even though I knew Cole was going to die, it didn’t make it any easier on me when the time came to kill him. It kind of felt like I was offing one of my children or something. lol :o) I’ve really come to love his character, and I cried like a little baby when he died… sniffles But, if you look back through past chapters, I actually did a lot of subtle foreshadowing about his future death. If you get a chance, go and look.
Ok, now I wanna take a moment and explain something to some of my readers who might be a little peeved at me for Cole’s death.
Everything You Want is, and was always intended to be, a love story. But, I never planned for it to be the typical boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after fairy tale. This story was my clumsy attempt at conveying, I think, a very important message. Life is not a fairy tale. Life is cruel and mean, and people don’t always get what they want handed to them. Lessons must be learned in order to survive. Unfortunately for Bella, she had to learn to be strong the difficult way, through hardships and loss.
Most importantly, the adversities in our lives are what shape us, what mold us into capable, responsible adults. Know what I mean? That was my reason for putting Bella through so much shit. Life sucks and then you get a helmet. (I learned that little pearl of wisdom from Boy Meets World lol) I hope that I’ve clarified myself a little better for everyone who was wondering why I was being such a cold, heartless bitch taking Cole away. :o) I always have a reason for why I do things in my stories, which if you continue to read (which I hope you do, because not all of my stories will be sad, I promise) you’ll find out. I really hope that I haven’t driven anyone away, but what can I do now, ya know? Anyway, as always, thank you to all of my readers for your reviews and support. I love you guys! -hugz-
Lyrics used above from The Last Words You Said to Me, by Sarah Brightman. WONDERFUL song, you should definitely check it out if you have a chance. :o)
THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL MY WONDERFUL READERS AND REVIEWERS!!! :o) I\'m really tired, otherwise I would respond to you all. Sorry.
Chapter 26:
Forever
Somewhere in time I know,
Darling you\'ll come back to me...
Roses will bloom again,
But spring feels like eternity.
In your kiss it wasn\'t goodbye.
You are still the reason why…
Robert rubbed his weary eyes and shifted in the chair he’d been sitting in for the last three days, beside the bed that Bella had been sleeping in for just as long. He was really starting to get concerned, though the doctor at the hospital had assured him that physically, Bella was perfectly healthy. Mentally, however… That was a different story.
Cole’s funeral had been one of the hardest services he’d ever had to attend. If Lacey hadn’t been there by his side, he didn’t know if he would’ve been able to keep it together. Cole’s parents had been an emotional wreck, barely able to stand on their own. Mrs. Hastings had literally thrown herself onto her son’s casket, cursing the God that had taken her baby boy away from her.
Bella, on the other hand, hadn’t spoken a word since Cole had been taken from her protective embrace. During the ceremony, her glassy blue eyes had stayed locked on Cole’s coffin, never wavering in their vacant stare. Robert had practically had to carry her from the church. When they’d gotten home that evening, he’d put Bella to bed and that’s where she’d been ever since.
‘She should’ve woken up by now,’ he thought with a troubled frown deepening the lines in his otherwise youthful face. Brushing his fingers over her pale cheek, Robert silently willed for her eyes to open.
“Please, baby. Wake up, come back to me,” he murmured as he straightened up and headed to the door.
Hearing her bedroom door close softly behind her father, Bella opened eyes that were once happy and full of life, but now were dull and despondent as she stared blankly at her surroundings.
‘Come back? Why? There’s nothing here for me anymore. Nothing. Cole is gone and he’s not ever coming back… ’
Curling into herself, Bella’s body shook with tearless sobs. There were no more tears to be cried. She was empty, barren. Her eyes were dry and swollen. Bringing her fingers to her lips, she tried to imagine the feel of Cole’s mouth on her own. The last kiss they’d shared hadn’t been enough, their one night of passion already beginning to fade, and she longed for just one more moment with him…
I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room,
My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon.
I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly.
\"Love me now forever,\"
Were the last words you said to me...
Sometimes, if she listened hard enough, Bella could swear Cole was still there, whispering to her while she lay there dreaming of him. Telling her that he loved her and that he would never leave her. Promising her that she wouldn’t ever be alone, because he would always be by her side.
When she closed her eyes she could still see him, standing in the distance, always just out of reach. His obsidian strands gleaming in the sunlight, bright green eyes locked on her, and that goofy lopsided grin plastered on his handsome face. He would reach out a hand, beckoning her… but, Bella could never reach him before he vanished.
She ached all over. It was as if when Cole died, a part of her had died with him. What was there left for her to live for now that he was gone? Clutching her pillow tightly to her chest, Bella gazed unseeingly out her window, Cole’s last words to her echoing through her mind.
“I love you, Bella. Forever.”
Forever. What did that mean? If that was true, then why wasn’t he still here? As much as she tried, Bella couldn’t understand what he’d meant when he’d said that she didn’t need him anymore. He was her everything, her reason for living.
“What do I do now, Cole? How do I live without you?” she whispered brokenly into the silence of her room. Shutting her eyes once more, Bella drifted back into uneasy slumber…
And when the morning comes,
My hands still reach out for you.
Some things remain the same,
There is nothing I can do.
I can barely get through the day
Ever since you went away…
Life inevitably went on, despite the near hopelessness Bella felt as she greeted every day with the same empty feeling lodged deep down in her soul. Each morning she would wake reaching out for Cole, hands searching for the warmth of his body, fingers itching to feel his soft skin. Then, she would open her eyes and her heart would weep at the sight of the bare space next to her where Cole should be.
Day after day, she dragged herself out of bed, went through the routine of getting ready for school, and then spent her hours there shuffling around the building in a half conscious daze. Though she could plainly see the sympathetic looks the students and teachers cast her when she passed by them, Bella couldn’t bring herself to meet their eyes. She knew if she did, she would break down into a puddle of miserable, heartbroken tears.
Graduation finally came, Bella going through the motions of accepting her diploma and acting the part of the happy graduate, but she knew her father and Lacey saw right through the cheerful façade. It frightened them to see her ebbing away to barely a slip of the girl they used to know. Her face was hollow and sunken, cerulean orbs emotionless and blank. Robert suspected that from the way her clothes hung on her thin, gaunt figure, the only time she ever ate was when he placed the food in front of her.
Rarely did she ever exit her room except to go to school and to the bathroom. But, in spite of all he saw and knew, Robert was helpless to do anything but be there for her when she decided she was ready to open up, as Lacey assured him, in time, she would. Although it was killing him to see her suffering from such acute anguish, all Robert could do was watch… and wait…
Heaven help us cross this endless sea,
With starlight above to guide you to me.
Waves crashing on distant shores,
They\'re calling our names forever more…
“Bella?”
Raising her head from her barely eaten bowl of cereal, Bella gave her father an ‘I’m listening’ look. “Yeah, Dad?”
Deciding to skip the pleasantries and get right to the point, Robert grasped one of his daughter’s hands in a tight hold with his own and locked troubled hazel eyes on her stoic expression.
“With every day that’s passed since the accident, I’ve felt you slipping farther and farther away. I can’t stand that you refuse to talk to me, or anyone else for that matter, about how you’re feeling.” Pausing to squeeze her limp hand, Robert sighed deeply.
“I’m afraid, Bell. Terrified of the idea of losing you, too.”
Tugging her hand away, Bella pushed away from the breakfast table and strode quietly over to the sink, her back to the distressed man watching for any sign that she was ready to talk.
“I’m scared, too, Dad,” she murmured forlornly as tears streaked unchecked down her cheeks and onto the cold metal of the washbasin below her. “But as much as I try, as much as I want to be happy again, I can’t seem to find a reason to want to get out of bed each morning, a reason to smile and look forward to the future. Without Cole, my outlook on a life devoid of his light, his love… seems hazy and bleak. Without him there isn’t a reason for me to go on, nothing left for me to hold on to, and I can’t help but feel like I’m drowning…”
Trailing off as a lump formed in her throat, Bella pressed the back of one trembling hand to her mouth. “I miss him so much, daddy. So much… I just don’t understand why God would do this to me. Why does He hate me so much? Wasn’t it enough for Him to take mom away? Why did He have to steal Cole away from me, too?!”
With that angry exclamation, Bella choked back a sob and fled from the room. Deciding it was probably best for him to just leave her be, Robert exhaled heavily and stared after her retreating form. Tilting his chin, he closed his eyes and silently prayed to the seemingly cruel God so intent on torturing his family.
‘Please help my daughter. Help her, because I sense that time alone will not be enough to heal the wounds inflicted on her heart…
A/N
Please don’t hate me, I love you. backs away from her angry readers Even though I knew Cole was going to die, it didn’t make it any easier on me when the time came to kill him. It kind of felt like I was offing one of my children or something. lol :o) I’ve really come to love his character, and I cried like a little baby when he died… sniffles But, if you look back through past chapters, I actually did a lot of subtle foreshadowing about his future death. If you get a chance, go and look.
Ok, now I wanna take a moment and explain something to some of my readers who might be a little peeved at me for Cole’s death.
Everything You Want is, and was always intended to be, a love story. But, I never planned for it to be the typical boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after fairy tale. This story was my clumsy attempt at conveying, I think, a very important message. Life is not a fairy tale. Life is cruel and mean, and people don’t always get what they want handed to them. Lessons must be learned in order to survive. Unfortunately for Bella, she had to learn to be strong the difficult way, through hardships and loss.
Most importantly, the adversities in our lives are what shape us, what mold us into capable, responsible adults. Know what I mean? That was my reason for putting Bella through so much shit. Life sucks and then you get a helmet. (I learned that little pearl of wisdom from Boy Meets World lol) I hope that I’ve clarified myself a little better for everyone who was wondering why I was being such a cold, heartless bitch taking Cole away. :o) I always have a reason for why I do things in my stories, which if you continue to read (which I hope you do, because not all of my stories will be sad, I promise) you’ll find out. I really hope that I haven’t driven anyone away, but what can I do now, ya know? Anyway, as always, thank you to all of my readers for your reviews and support. I love you guys! -hugz-
Lyrics used above from The Last Words You Said to Me, by Sarah Brightman. WONDERFUL song, you should definitely check it out if you have a chance. :o)
THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL MY WONDERFUL READERS AND REVIEWERS!!! :o) I\'m really tired, otherwise I would respond to you all. Sorry.