The one thing that keeps me sane...

DISCLAIMER : OMG...OKAY HONESTLY...THIS STORY IS MINE...WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW? WELL...BESIDES THE FACT THAT I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET EVER THINKING OF STEALING MY CHARACTERS...GRRR...

ONWARDS------------->


Laraine sighed. “Fine, whatever. Listen, I have to go. I need to talk to my mom.”

“Yeah sure.” Anthony nodded. “Maybe I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sure.” Laraine nodded and headed towards his house. Clearly Anthony knew something bad about Ben but everyone knew something bad about Ben. It was just a matter on what they knew and when Ben had done it. He walked up the sidewalk to his house and stopped outside the door as his phone rang. He look at the caller ID and opened it. “Hey.”

“Hey babe.” Ben’s voice came. “Where are you?”

Laraine smiled softly. “I’m in front of my house right now. I need to talk to my mom remember?”

Ben sighed. “Yeah, I remember. We...we need to talk. So when you get done with your mom come home okay?”

“Benjamin I’ll just come now.” Laraine argued. “I don’t have to talk to my mom right now.”

“No, you talk to your mom babe.” Ben told him. “I’ll just see you when you get home.”

“Sure.” Laraine opened the door and stepped inside his house. “I love you Benjamin.”

Ben was silent a moment. “I love you too baby.”

With that Laraine hung up his phone and took off his shoes. “Laraine!” he looked up to see his mom standing in the doorway. “You are lucky Anna talked to you and told me where you were! I was about to have a heart attach thinking you’d been taken again!”

“I was just with Benjamin mom.” Laraine told her and they walked into the kitchen. “He...he asked me to move in with him.”

“What?” Carol yelled. “You are not moving in with him Laraine! You are to young and I will not have it!”

Laraine groaned. “Mom! I want to live with him! I want to be with him! It’s so hard to be with him, and have to come home, and go to school all at once! That’s just to much! I want to live with him! Isn’t it my choice where I want to be?”

“No!” Carol argued. “And it will not be your choice until you are eighteen and can make that choice!”

“Mother please!” Laraine could not take this. “I just want to be with him! Why can’t you just let me be with him?”

Carol crossed her arms. “Because you are still my son and I want you here. You can move in with him when you are eighteen Laraine but not a day sooner! And look what you’ve done to yourself.” Laraine had totally forgot about his hair and everything. “Ever since you started dating him you’ve been changing Laraine! I will not have you moving in with him and dropping school just to be with him. If coming home is to much of a job then how much longer until school is to much for you?”

This was pissing him off. “Mother! This is my life! Mine! I don’t honestly care what you think I am going to do because I know what I am going to do! I am going to go to collage and I am going to get a good job. Me living with Ben is not going to change that! Understand? So please just let me do what I want to do!”

“You want to live with him Laraine?” Carol asked. “You think you can handle living with him, having Jacoby there, and going to school? You think you can?” Laraine nodded. “Fine then, go ahead. But do not think that I will help you in anyway. If your grades in school start to slip or anything like that you are coming home.”

Laraine practically jumped out of his skin and hugged his mom. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Carol hugged her son back. “I just want you to call me and tell me if anything happens okay?”

He nodded and kissed her cheek. “Promise I will. I’ll be back later go get some of my stuff!” He ran out of the house and headed down the road. He was so happy it wasn’t even funny. After everything his mom had put him through and after every bad thing in his life he finally got to do something that he wanted to do. “Jesus Christ!” Laraine yelled as someone grabbed his arm and he turned to see Anthony there...again. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” Anthony smiled. “I was just wondering something.”

“What? I’m kind of in a hurry.” Laraine told him.

“I was wondering if you were related to Henry?” Anthony asked him.

Laraine looked at him a little freaked. “Uh, he was my father.”

Anthony nodded. “I just thought you looked like him was all.”

A little freaked out now Laraine started to back away. “Listen, I have to get to Benjamin’s now so...bye.”
“See yah.” Anthony nodded.

With that Laraine ran off down the street again towards Ben’s apartment. He ran up the steps and knocked on the door. He was jittery beyond all reason and when Ben opened the door he immediately hugged the guy and smiled happily. Ben hugged him back and managed to get the door closed and them both inside while Laraine still clung to him.

“Benjamin my mom said I can live with you!” Laraine let him go and smiled at him happily. “She said it was okay ask long as I kept my grades up!”

“That’s great.” Ben smiled and they walked into the living room.

Laraine looked at Ben worried as they sat on the couch. “Benjamin what’s wrong? Do you not want me to live with you anymore?”

Ben smiled softly. “No, of course I want you to live with me.” he sighed and looked at Laraine. “I...lied to you Lain.” he took a deep breath. “I...I did...sleep with Greg last night.” Laraine immediately turned his head away and closed his eyes. “I...I was so afraid to tell you. Afraid that you would hate me...afraid that you would leave.”

Laraine shook his head and tears slid down his face. “You...you lied to me...” he was shaking and the tears were now just one long stream. “God Benjamin you lied to me...”

Sliding off the couch Ben got on his knees in front of Laraine and took the boy’s hands in his own. “Baby, what I did to you has no excuse. I could sit here and say that I was drunk or I was stoned or whatever else and none of that is going to be good enough for why I did what I did. I have no explanation for you Lain...and god knows that I regret it fully how I could ever do something like that to you.” he wiped away some of Laraine’s tears. “I know you are not going to believe a word I say right now but Lain I love you so much and I am so sorry that I could have ever done this to you.”

“I don’t understand why!” Laraine sobbed. “God Benjamin...why would you? I don’t understand! I...I had to have done something...wrong...”

“No.” Ben ran a hand through Laraine’s hair. “God baby no...you’ve done nothing wrong. This is just my stupid mistake and I will understand completely if you walk out that door right now and never come back.”

Laraine shook his head. “No...I wouldn’t...” He tried to stop his crying. “God Benjamin...I just don’t understand. Why did you lie to me?”

Ben looked down a moment before looking back up at Laraine. “Because I am a spineless coward. Because I was afraid that you would leave me and I don’t want that. Because I am a fucking bastard who doesn’t deserve a moment of your time.”

They sat there for a moment, the only sound was Laraine’s soft crying. “I...god Benjamin...I don’t know what to do. I don’t...”

“You wanna be alone baby?” Ben asked and Laraine nodded. “Alright, I’ll go out for a while.” he kissed Laraine’s forehead and stood. “Jacoby is over at Angela’s and I’ll be back later. I’m gonna go over and talk to Michael about Ryan.”

Laraine nodded. “Yeah...okay...”


When Ben got back it was eight at night. Michael had gone onto a little rant about how Ryan was being a whore and how he hated him now and all that fun stuff. When Ben entered his apartment Laraine was asleep on the couch, tear stains still on his cheeks. Ben smiled softly and lifted Laraine into his arms before carrying him back to the bedroom. He pulled the sheets back and tucked Laraine in.

“Hey.” Ben whispered as Laraine opened his eyes and looked up at him. “I didn’t mean to wake you love. Sorry.”
Laraine shook his head. “It’s okay.”

“You tired baby?” Ben asked him.

The boy nodded and Ben leaned over to give him a kiss but Laraine turned his head away. “Benjamin...I...it’s gonna take a while for me to trust you...”

Ben nodded and ran a hand through Laraine’s hair. “I’ll go out to the living room.”

Laraine grabbed Ben’s wrist as the guy turned and Ben looked back at him. “You...you don’t have to. Stay...please.”

“Sure.” Ben smirked. “But I have to go get Jacoby and get him to bed first alright?”

“Yeah.” Laraine nodded.

Walking across the hall Ben knocked on Angela’s door and she opened it. “Hey there, come in.” she stepped aside and Ben stepped in. “They are asleep on the couch.”

He walked over and smiled as he picked up his sleeping son. “Thank you so much.” he told Angela. “I want you to feel free to make me watch Brian any time.”

“It’s fine.” Angela smiled. “Jacoby is a real help around here. Gives Brian something to think about besides his dad for once.”

“Yeah.” Laraine nodded. “I think it takes Jacoby’s mind of his mom.” he sighed. “This is a lot harder then I thought it would be.”

Angela nodded. “Yeah, me too. But hey, you have Lain to help you and everything.”

“Lain...” Ben took a deep breath. “Lain is still a kid himself. I sometimes feel really bad about bringing him into all of this. Into my life with Jacoby and how fucked up I am.”

“I think it was meant to happen.” Angela told him. “You and him, I think you two were meant to be. No matter what happens.”

Jacoby shifted in Ben’s arms and yawned. “Yeah, maybe...I’m starting to believe in this fate thing.” he shifted Jacoby up a little. “I’ll see you later Angela.”

Angela nodded and opened the door for Ben. He walked back over to his apartment and went back to Jacoby’s room. He laid the boy down on his bed and put the covers on him. There was no way in hell he was going to try and put Jacoby in his pajamas cause he knew that would wake the boy up and he was not in the mood for that one. Once he was sure that Jacoby was going to stay asleep he stood and walked over to his room. A small smile curved on his face as he looked at Laraine’s sleeping form.

Pulling his shirt over his head Ben grabbed some of his black pajama pant things out of a drawer and changed into them. He pulled back the covers and slid onto the bed trying not to wake Laraine. He slid his arms under his head and lay there staring at the ceiling a moment just thinking about what was going. A smiled former on his face as Laraine wrapped an arm over his mid-chest and rested his head on his shoulder. Ben brought his arm down and held Laraine close to him.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Jacoby ran into the room and the two sat up. Jacoby held his arms up for Ben and Ben lifted him onto his lap. “I had a bad dream daddy...”

Ben smiled and held Jacoby close. “What was your dream about monster?”

“I saw mommy...” Jacoby sniffled into his father’s chest. “When she was hurt...and she wasn’t waking up...” he began to sob. “I...w...want mommy...b...back...”

“Hey, shh.” Ben soothed him, running a hand up and down his back. “I know you do. I know.” He lifted Jacoby’s head and made the boy look at him. “I know you miss your mommy but she’s in a better place now okay? She doesn’t have to hurt anymore.”

Jacoby nodded and dried his eyes a little bit. “Can I sleep with you daddy?” Ben leaned down and whispered something in his son’s ear and Jacoby looked over at Laraine. “Lain can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?”

A smile former on Laraine’s face and he pulled the covers up. “Hop in.”

Quickly Jacoby jumped into the middle of the bed and they all settled in. Ben and Laraine lay facing each other and Laraine just softly ran a hand comfortingly through Jacoby’s hair as the boy drifted to sleep again. Once Jacoby was asleep Ben grabbed Laraine’s hand and Laraine looked up at Ben. Ben brought Laraine’s palm to his mouth and whispered I love you into it before kissing it. Laraine smile and brought Ben’s hand over to him. He mouthed I love you too into Ben’s palm and kissed it.

“Jacoby!” Ben yelled as the boy ran towards the doors without even looking back at Ben. All Ben could do was laugh as Laraine lifted Jacoby in his arms and smiled at him. Jacoby had whined and whined until Ben had broken down and said that he could come to pick Laraine up from school. That smile left his lips as he saw someone moving in the crowd of high school students and he shook his head to see if he had seen that right.

“Hey there Lain.” Laraine looked to see Anthony standing there. “Who’s this?”

“Jacoby.” Laraine answered with a smile. “Benjamin’s son.”

Anthony nodded. “He’s adorable. Looks just like Ben.”

Ben pushed Anthony and stepped in front of Laraine and Jacoby. “You...you get away from them.”

“Awe, I take it you are Ben.” Anthony smiled. “Though I have to say that wasn’t really a proper introduction.”

“Get the fuck away from them! If I ever see you near them again I’ll kill you.” Ben threatened.

Laraine hit Ben’s arm softly. “Benjamin you are being rude.”

Ben looked back at Laraine. “Take Jacoby to the car babe,” Laraine went to argue but Ben didn’t give him time to. “Baby trust me and take him to the car.” nodding quickly Laraine turned and began to walk towards the car, Ben turning back to Anthony. “What do you want with him?”

“I was just having a simple conversation. I didn’t know that was wrong Benjamin.” Anthony told him. “You haven’t changed much I can see. Still pretending to be good.”

“Stay the fuck away from him.” Ben warned. “That’s all the warning I am going to give you.”

“And if I don’t?” Anthony asked. “I think I rather like him Benjamin. We may just become friends before you even know it.”

Ben was seriously having to refrain from hitting this guy. “What do you want with him? Are you trying to get back at me? Is that it? Because god help you if you even try to use him against me. He has powerful family members and you know that.”

Anthony smirked. “He has a powerful boyfriend if I remember correctly. There has to be at least a few dozen people who would be willing to bend to your will just like before. After all, you are the almighty Ben right? Can do no wrong as long as you are under Trik’s nose.”

“I thought you were dead.” Ben told him. “I was told you died.”

“Yeah well, next time make sure you are getting your information from the right source.” Anthony rolled his eyes. “But this boy of yours, Lain, he’s quite a catch Benjamin. Putting up with you after finding out everything that you have done. Even after you fucked some other guy at a party.” Ben’s eyes widened. “Yeah, I drugged you and Greg...he’s persuaded easily into things. I never imagined he would forgive you for that.”

Ben just glared at him. “Who said he forgave me? I can’t believe that you would do that! I mean, I realize that you have done some low things in your life but drugging my drink so I would sleep with another guy just so you could get me away from Laraine? I think that is low for even you.”

Anthony shrugged. “I always told you that you were a slut Benjamin. You can’t really blame me for all of it. After all, you weren’t that reluctant.”

“Just fucking stay away from him.” Ben told him. “I do still know people who would do anything for me, don’t make me call them.”

“I wont.” turning to leave Ben got a few feet away. “But...what would you do if something happened to him?”

Ben stopped and turned to look back at him. “Just fucking stay away from him. It’s as simple as that Aaron.”

The guy smirked. “It’s nice to hear you say my name again Benjamin.”

“Ben.” he corrected.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Stop it!” Ryan yelled as Audrey nudged him and almost made him fall into the fountain he was walking on. “You’re going to make me fall and I am going to get all wet!”

Audrey laughed. “Hey, you’re in a white shirt...it would work for me.”

Ryan blushed and nudged Audrey back as he jumped off the railing of the fountain. “Perv.”

“Who said I meant something perverted by that?” Audrey asked him. “You took it as something sick so clearly you have the sick mind.”

“Yeah?” Ryan asked. “Well, what did you mean by it?”

The other guy thought a moment. “That it’s a white shirt. I don’t like white so if you got it wet and dirty that would be fine cause it’s a nasty color.”

That made Ryan laugh. “You are such a freak.”

“Ryan.” they stopped and turned. Ryan about freaked out seeing Michael standing there. “Busy?”

“Umm.” Ryan tried to think but his mind had gone on freeze. “No...not at all.” he looked over at Audrey. “I...I need to talk to him.”

Audrey nodded him, giving Michael a suspicious look. “I’ll see you later then.”

There was an awkward silence as Audrey left. “That’s the guy from the party if I am not mistaken.” Michael finally said and Ryan groaned. “Don’t fucking groan at me Ryan. We have a fight and immediately you go to some other guy?”

“You kicked me out of the fucking apartment! You hit me! You tried to make me have sex with you when I didn’t want to! Where was I supposed to go? He offered me a place to stay and I took it! That doesn’t mean that we fucked! That means that he was nice and helped me out!” Ryan snapped. “For your information he isn’t interested in me like that anyway. We’re just friends and he made that clear.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah right, you two seemed to be a little more than friends right there Ryan. Even then, it’s not like friends can’t fuck. You and I proved that fact!” he ran a hand through his hair. “Ryan I was drunk...and high...and I barely even remember what happened that night. All I remember is waking up and you were gone. I’m sorry for whatever I did that upset you but I didn’t mean it and I want you to come home.”

Ryan shook his head. “I’m not.” he laughed in disbelief. “You honestly think that I would come back after that? After what you did? Michael you hit me! I left my home! My family! So I could get away from that and then you turn around and do the exact same thing! You think that I would go back to that? I would rather sleep on the streets! I have tried to help you Michael but I’ve done all I can. If you want me back you have tp prove to me that you are willing to help yourself.”

“I can’t do that without you Ryan!” Michael argued. “I went crazy when you weren’t there! I need you there with me! You keep me sane Ryan! When you are there I have a reason to be better!”

“Well I am giving you a fucking reason Michael! If you want me back you are going to get better. Nothing else.” he shook his head. “Until then we’re done.”

Michael walked over and grabbed Ryan’s upper arm hard before he could leave. “Ryan you are not fucking leaving me! Not for this fucking stupid reason!”

“Michael you’re hurting me...” Ryan tried to pull away. “Please let go...”

“Fuck you! You are a fucking little slut and you are not going to fucking leave me because you have a problem with me doing drugs! I would have left you a long time ago if I were as fucking shallow as you!” Michael hissed at him.

“Let him go!” Audrey told Michael walking back up. “He told you to let go!”

Michael let go of Ryan’s arm and backed away a little bit. “Fine, be that way Ryan. Lets see how long you last out in this world without me. And how long this guy here is going to keep you around for before you become a burden on him!”

Ryan didn’t move as Michael walked away and turn he turned and began to walk the other direction. “Ryan where are you going?” Audrey asked as he walked by him. “Ryan, answer me.”

“He’s right. All I am is a fucking burden and I am not going to put that on you.” Ryan told him. “And I am...I’m a horrible person. I’ve been flirting with you all this time and yet I have been dating Michael. I just...forget it. Relationships are a fucking waste of time and heartbreak. I give up on them.”

Audrey got in front of Ryan and set his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Ryan relationships are not a waste of time. All you need to do is find someone who is going to be good for you and not treat you like shit. Clearly Michael is not that guy.”

Ryan nodded a little. “I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. Forget it. I’m just not going to have any more relationships.” he sighed and shook his head. “I need to go see a friend right now. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sure.” Audrey let Ryan go. “I want you to call if you need anything though. Anything at all.”

Ryan looked back at him. “I’m not gonna be a burden.” he said and walked off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“What was that?” Laraine asked as Ben got into the car. “Do you know him Benjamin?”

“Just a ghost from my past.” Ben answered and started the car. “I don’t want you going anywhere near him again hon. If you see him coming anywhere close to you I want you to run away from him as fast as you can okay?”

Laraine nodded. “Can you tell me who he is Benjamin? Please?”

Ben sighed as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards his apartments. “Aaron.” it took Laraine a
moment to get that but his eyes widened when he did. “Just...stay away from him.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

WOO!!! Off work and up goes the chapter!!! I can assume that you don't need me to tell you to review...but...never the less...REVIEW NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW!!!
LOVES,
Kay