Thia's Memory

Weeks passed by and Shane was burying himself more and more in his work. Working almost twenty hours a day and passing out the other four hours. He went out on the weekends, going to bars and getting drunk until he couldn’t see in font of him. He cut himself away from everybody. His family, his friends, everyone! He knew that he was slowly destroying his life by doing so. He even had an accident but thankfully no one got hurt. Sometimes he even woke up in places that he wouldn’t remember whose place it was.

Like now! He had just opened his eyes feeling a terrible headache. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and weakly got up. He quickly realized he was naked and the thought itself made him open his eyed widely ‘Shit, what have I done?’

Looking behind him on the bed he could see a blond woman sleeping, as naked as he was.

“God damn it!” He reached for his pants, which was somewhere on the floor. Putting it on he quickly gathered his things wishing he’d make it out of this house before the woman woke up. Because frankly he didn’t know who the hell was this woman. All he could remember from yesterday was that he went to that club where he’d first met Sam. He could remember drinking so much alcohol that when I woman came up to him and started flirting with him he had gone out of the club, dragging her behind him and asked for her address. That was the last thing he could remember, aside from that he didn’t know where he was.

Ten minutes later he was out of what he found out to be an apartment on the other side of the city, a long drive to his place. He had left the woman a note saying that he was really sorry but he had to go. He knew he acted as a complete jerk, but he definitely was not in a mood for any relationships right now.

Getting inside his car Shane tried to focus on the road in front of him but couldn’t and knew if he didn’t stop for coffee somewhere he was going to kill someone while driving. He found a small café on his way, so he pulled over and parked on the other side of the street. Getting out of his car he entered the café and ordered some black coffee, thinking maybe it would help his hangover.

Shane looked around him in the little place and could see some couples sitting at different tables, a family, an old man, and two cops. He waited until the waitress had brought his coffee then sat back in his seat thinking.

‘Right Shane, it has been more than three months now, you have to go on with your life you know!’ he thought as he took a sip from his hot coffee, it almost burnt his tongue but he didn’t give a damn ‘I’m pretty sure she’s having fun now, forgetting all about me. I should do the same. But not kill myself with work, also not with alcohols’ he thought dryly as he reached for his phone. He turned it on and called his mother ‘I don’t even remember when was the last time I saw my mom.’

He called on her cell she didn’t answer, he tried the house but Khadiga told him that his mom and his two sisters went to visit his uncle and would be back in three days. He said goodbyes and then hung up, looking around him again he realized it was eleven thirty and he had nothing to do all day. So he pulled out his phone again but before he could do anything a name came on the screen and a weak smile covered Shane’s face.

“Dave!” he exclaimed the moment he pressed the okay button.

“Shane, how are you?” Dave said in his cheerful way.

“I feel like shit if you really want to know how I am!” he answered gulping the rest of his coffee. He got up, put some money on the table and exited the café.

“Why? I heard you and Sam are getting a divorce, is that right?”

Shane got inside his car and turned it on “Dave are you busy?”

“What? You mean like now?”

“Yeah now?”

“No I’m not, you want to come over?”

“Yes wait for me, I’ll be there in about half an hour, need anything?”

“Nope, but remember I told you one hundred times before that Rose wants to see you but you always give me stupid excuses and the poor girl really needs to talk to you Shane.”

“You know why?” Shane asked curiously, wondering why she so wanted to talk to him. Dave was right this was like the tenth time he’d call him and ask him to come meet Rose as she wanted to talk to him but Shane always told him he was busy even if he wasn’t. Rose reminded him of Matt and Matt sort of reminded him of Sam and he had tried everything in his powers to forget about Sam. Lately because he had worked like a machine and got drunk a lot in his spare time he sort of stopped thinking about her. But then sometimes in the middle of an important meeting or when he was talking to any woman he would remember Sam, would remember Thia and the two weeks he’d spent with her. He’d tried to think of Sam as one person and as Thia as another person. He even tried more than once to convince himself that the one who he had seen the last time was another person, a stranger that he never knew before.

*********

Like always Dave’s apartment felt like home to Shane, he, Matt and Dave had been friends since they were twelve or something and at some time before Shane had met Sam he used to spend a lot of nights sleeping over at Dave’s.

“Hey, before anything I told Rose you’re coming and she’ll be here at around two or three, she has a doctor appointment and she didn’t know when she’ll finish.” Dave said the moment Shane sat at the couch in front of the huge T.V in Dave’s living room.

“Oh, you never answered me when I asked you, what is wrong Dave? What is so important?” he asked accepting another cup of coffee from his friend.

“Listen Shane, she didn’t want to tell me. But I got the feeling it got something to do with Matt and Sam, because ever since she found out you two were getting a divorce she panicked and started searching for you everywhere.” Dave put his cup on the arm of the couch as he turned to look at his friend “So you gonna tell me what happened with you and Sam? I mean Shane it has been over three month and you’re life, sorry to say that, but it’s like a pile of shit man! You work more than eighteen hours a day, you get d-”

“Alright, alright I know what you mean!” he ran his fingers through his uncombed hair and noticed it was getting really long “I try to, you know…”

“You are running away Shane, that’s not right. If you love her that much there must be a way out of this. You can work it out if you love each other.”

“Ha, you just said it. If we loved each other!” Shane answered ironically.

“Come on I know you love her, that day when you came to the hospital, even thought I knew you were sad because of Matt’s death you looked better than you looked back when Sam first left.”

“I’m not talking about my feelings for her. I meant her feeling she doesn’t love me, well I was not good enough let me quote.”

“Well I can not judge unless I know what happened. Come on tell me.”

*************

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Ann asked from the doorway of Thia’s room.

Thia lifted her head and stared with tiered eyes at Ann, “No, I have to finish this dress tonight Ann.”

Sighing Ann sat at the edge of the bed “You know you have been working on this dress for two weeks now and...”

“Ann, you know I wasn’t feeling well the last few weeks and I’m trying hard to go back to my work. I have to; it’s all what’s for me.”

“You haven’t been feeling well because you had a total break down after starving yourself for more than a month. You spent three weeks in the hospital. You are lucky they were able to save your life Thia.”

Thia’s eyes dropped to her hands as she bitted her lips trying to fight the tears that gathered in her eyes “But I lost them!”

Ann reached and hugged her friend “I’m sorry Thia, it happens a lot honey. And soon you will be able to find a guy and you’ll have more childr-”

“Ann, I- please let’s just not talk about that okay. We both know I’ll never fall in love again, and that my babies wer-” she could taste blood in her mouth as she bitted harder and harder on her lips.

“Honey,”

“I know, I know.” She wiped the tears with the back of her hand and looked up at Ann “I just can’t forgive myself Ann. Knowing that I was the reason they…”

“No, no Thia you were not the reason. You didn’t know!”

“Yes, I didn’t know.” Thia agreed with a whisper.

“Listen I’m not taking no for an answer. Come on you are going out with us tonight, it’s going to be fun.” Ann tried to speak in a cheerful way but Thia’s answer was still the same.

“Sorry Ann, maybe soon,” she reached for the box of Kleenex on her night stand “I’ll probably watch a movie and forget about working tonight.”

“Then I’ll stay with you and we can order some-”

“Oh you know that’s not going to happen, I won’t let you. Richard will probably kill me if I do.” She smiled weakly.

“Okay, but promise you won’t spend the night thinking about the past?”

“I promise.” Thia assured Ann as they both went outside her bedroom and into the living room.

Ann heard the door ring and hurried to answer, and two minutes later Thia heard her shout goodnight and was out of the apartment. Thia looked around her in the empty room and closed her eyes. She could still remember what happened here three months ago.

“Hey, no more thinking about the past remember!” She reminded herself as she went throw the movies she had and chose one of her favorites “While you were sleeping”. She put it on and sat on the couch with her legs under her. Watching the first ten minutes of the movie she decided she didn’t want to watch a romantic film. It reminded her of Shane, so she turned the T.V off and headed to the kitchen. Coffee became an addiction for her; she fixed herself some then headed back to her bedroom.

Lying back in her bed she closed her eyes and her mind went back to the night she spent at their house with Shane. The night he made love to her, the night her twins were conceived ‘Oh I have to stop. I have to move on with my life.’ She thought as the memory of the painful weeks after she’d lost her babies came back to her mind again ‘again?? They never left my mind. The day I woke up in my bed to find blood covering the sheets and felt like something was cut from me.’ Thia turned to sleep on her side and stared at the darkness of the room. These days were the worst days of her life, knowing that she was ten weeks pregnant with Shane’s children and that she’d lost them just like she’d lost him made her heart break into million pieces. But what could she do? She couldn’t keep them, they died because of her and the guilt had made her stay in the hospital for two weeks, wanting nothing than to follow them and die. Back then Ann wanted to call Shane and tell him everything and let him know why Thia had said these words the last time they’d met. But of course Thia refused and fought with all her powers to get out of the hospital and pretend to be okay so that Ann wouldn’t tell Shane anything.

Thia sat up in her bed, she looked around her and felt as if the room was closing around her, she knew she had to get out but where would she go she didn’t know. So she grabbed a jeans and a shirt, got dressed and left the apartment. She sat in her car and decided that she wanted to go somewhere so quiet, somewhere she wouldn’t see anyone. She called the apartment and left Ann a message.

“Ann had to get out. I ah… dunno where to go bu- listen I’ll try to call you soon. Please don’t worry!”

After that she was on the road, heading back home, to Kathy’s house.

************

Hii, thnx for reviewing, don't worry guys if there's something I really hate, it's unhappy endings :)!! Well hope you liked this one, waiting for your comments :)