Gravity of Love

I've done it. Free at last. Let the good times roll….

Now what the hell was I going to do?

I had the cab driver take me to a hotel in the Glamour Strip district and ended up surrounded by comfort. The television served as background noise and room service laid in front of me barely touched.

Part of me wanted to run back home and hide under the covers of my bed. I was pushed out of my comfort zone and basically had to start over. Could I? Getting a job was easy with the skills I had but what about myself? I had to relearn who I was; build myself as a person since I was the only one in control of my life It sounded pretty to think about but I knew it would be harder to put into action. I had nothing but time now so I guess that made it okay.

First thing I needed to do in the morning was find another stripping gig. I stuffed a few of my stage costumes so to ensure I'd be ready to work the moment I was hired. I'd think about those things tomorrow. I set down the tray of food on the floor, crawled under the covers and embraced sleep like a long-lost lover.

****************************


It took me the majority of the next day to find a strip club that would take me. I stuck to the Glamour Strip side of town and that presented a problem I hadn't thought about. A few clubs didn't like my Underbelly flavor and others were either associates of Ren or Mannix and pushed me away like used goods. I had already resigned to the fact that the next place I tried would turn me down too. If the owner of Dark Paradise didn't want me I wasn't sure what my next move was going to be. The money Ren gave me assured that I could survive comfortably but that money wouldn't last forever and I had to make a living.

The inside of the club screamed Goth with it's curtain walls, candle chandeliers and Victorian furniture. Deep hypnotic music played in the background and my eyes were drawn to the huge stage in the center of the room. I longed to be on a stage again; dancing my heart out while people watched and desired.

"Hey, you need help?"

I was shaken out of my longing and turned to face the source of the voice. Fuck me, he was hot. The guy pushed strands of brown hair out of his face and looked at me with friendly blue eyes.

I gave him a warm smile. "I'm looking for a job. Is the owner or manager around?"

The guy's friendly smile seemed to drop a few notches and he looked me up and down like he was sizing me up. "A job for what? Are you even old enough to tend bar?"

I was taken aback by the sudden hostility but I struggled to keep my temper in check. "I'm twenty-one and I don't want to be a bartender, I want to dance. I've had years of experience and I'm extremely good."

"This isn't an interview, pal," the guy sneered. "This place already has enough dancers and—"

A woman's voice came from behind me. "Eliot? Why don't you let me decide if the club has enough dancers?

Eliot gave me a nasty look and walked off. I turned to face the new person and was surprised at how beautiful she was. I wasn't normally attracted to women but she had the same beauty that Selene did that commanded your attention. Unlike Selene she had a few wrinkles here and there but she was still gorgeous.

"What did I do?" I asked her.

She laughed. "Eliot doesn't like to share his job with others, that's all. He's my top dancer, so you understand."

I nodded. "So does that mean you don't need anyone else?"

"I didn't say that. I'm Yasmin Banastre," she offered a hand and I took it. "I own this little establishment. And who might you be?"

"Gavin Schafer," I replied. "Look, I'll cut to the chase…I need this job and I'm extremely good."

Yasmin raised an eyebrow. "Are you now? Convince me then." She made a motion to someone in the dj booth behind me and the music grew louder.

I knew she was saying something to me but her last words were still echoing in my head. Convince me. The same words Ren said before he….
And just like that I was thrown back into that room with him, feeling the pain of being mercilessly impaled as I screamed.

I received a gentle shake and was pulled out of the awful flashback. Yasmin was looking at me with concern.

"Mr. Schafer are you alright?"

I pulled myself together and gave her a smile that I hoped would be convincing. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered something. Um, do you want me to dance to this?"

Yasmin seemed unconvinced. "If you're up to it."

I slipped out of my jacket and shirt and rested it on the floor. I sprinted to get to the stage and climbed up on it with ease and immediately starting dancing. I had missed this so much. I was just getting used to the electronica when the music suddenly changed and turned into heavy industrial. Trent Reznor's screaming voice filled the club and I smiled. So she was trying to mix things up huh? That was so not a problem.

I adjusted my dancing style and moved my body like an invisible lover was fucking me. I continued until the music ended and I was left on the stage gasping for air and sweating like I had just had an orgasm. Yasmin's applause seemed far away as I came back to myself and got off the stage.

"Well?" I asked her.

Yasmin picked my shirt up from the floor and handed it to me. "You start next week. Be here Monday at one."

“You won’t regret it.” I put on my shirt and shook her hand to seal the deal.

“You better make sure of it,” she replied. She gave me a wink and then walked away.

That sure as hell turned out better than I expected but I was so not complaining.


**********************
(one week later)


I closed my eyes as waves of applause and cheers washed over me. The crowd reached out to me as I took my position center stage and the lights dimmed. The music drifted from the speakers set up in every corner of the room and I moved slowly for the hungry eyes. I rolled on the stage to the steady beat of the drums and exaggerated all my movements as I mimed being physically beaten. I threw my head side to side and flung my body to the floor as I cowered from my invisible attacker.

I closed my eyes as I stood and began to undress, using that awful night with Ren as my motivation. I ended up in nothing but a leather g-string and I dragged myself across the floor like a wounded animal. “Evil Angel” by Breaking Benjamin filled every part of my body and I expressed a story of sadness, passion and sex with just my body. I met the eyes of several patrons to make the experience even better for them. I was pleading with them to help me, I needed them to swoop down like an angel and take care of me. Beautiful, sad me. As I scanned the crowd I saw Eliot in the corner of the main room staring at me with a frown on his face. Just to piss him off even more I licked my lips at him and turned back to my customers. He deserved it since he tried to fuck me over every chance he got.

It wasn’t my fault that within a week his customers were becoming mine. They requested private lap dances or anything that I would give them. And instead of concentrating harder on his act Eliot focused all his attention on making my life harder. He’d do anything from accidentally locking me out of the dressing rooms to screwing with the sound room during rehearsals; they were childish pranks but it was annoying as hell. He knew better than to mess up an actual performance or Yasmin would have his head.

The song was finally coming to its end and I began to move to my final position. I scanned the crowd one last time, smiling softly as all eyes were on me. I suddenly froze as I spotted a pair of familiar eyes staring at me. Such clear aquamarine eyes…so beautiful….

I forgot to breathe and I stood there dazed as I saw the impossible. David…..

“And that was our newest dancer Gavin…give him a big round of applause everybody!” The dj’s voice brought me back o my senses and I cursed myself for missing my cue. I gave a quick bow and searched the crowd again for any sign that I wasn’t imaging things. I saw several blondes but none of them even came close to David. Had I really imagined him? But I saw his eyes and his face---no, it wasn’t him, he was dead. I quickly left the stage and headed straight for the dressing rooms. I wanted to get changed and find someone to distract me for the rest of the night.

“It was about time I saw you screw up on stage.”

I turned to face Eliot and smiled at him sweetly. “Go ahead and laugh Eliot. I can screw up on stage and still be ten times better than you.”

Eliot lost his smile and stormed away from me in a huff. Jeez, how old was he? Ten?

I changed into regular clothes and was out of the club in thirty minutes. Unable to let my David sighting go, I hung around outside the club for another chance. After nearly an hour I gave up and left. I had tried my best not to think of him while I was building my new life and I suppose this was my emotion’s way of revenge. I finally realized I did love him but I only managed to get a glimpse of the David underneath his masks. I loved he idea of what David and I could have been and my only regret was that we never had the chance.

But that didn’t mean I had to throw away any chance I might have with the living. I may have lost Jon but I had try to find him. If what Ren said was true that meant Jon was hanging around at On The Lash for weeks looking for me. It would be a long shot but I had to try. I hopped in my car and sped off towards the Underbelly.