Gender Dysphoria: How it Feels to Live a Lie

Okay, here we go...

Chapter XXII


Savannah’s POV


I was escorted to the visitor’s area by a correctional officer. Much like any other prison, the visitor’s area carried many metal tables and chairs that were bolted to the cement floor, with walls painted an uncongenial green. Setting my purse on top of a vacant table, I sat down and waited. However, I wasn’t waiting that long, because the officer that escorted me here, soon brought in the man I had drove two hours to see.

Dressed in a state-issued gray outfit and black lace-less shoes, Marcus hadn’t changed much. Of course he hadn’t been locked up all that long ago to begin with, so the only thing different about him was the extra dark fuzz on his jaws and chin. Once reaching me, the officer removed the handcuffs on his wrists then stepped away.

I stood to hug him. “Surprised to see me?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” We both sat at opposite ends of the table. “I have to admit, when they said I had a visitor coming today I expected to see your friend.”

My voice suddenly became somber. “My friend is the reason why I’m here.”

Marcus frowned but still carried a small smirk to his face. “What? She sent a message to me by you or something?”

I felt a tightening in my throat and tears I thought I’d be able to hold back during this visit welled up in my eyes. I started to nervously rub my hands. “Gwen has been missing for three days.”

Marcus slowly sat back in his seat. “……………………What?”

I nodded. “She’d been miserable after you’d left. Crying, depressed. But she’d never just up and leave like this, especially without saying anything to me.”

“What are you saying? You think somebody took her?”

I shook my head. “No, I know someone took her and I have an idea who it is. The last time I spoke with her, she told to me about her past as a prostitute. She worked for some guy named, Tony who owned a hotel in Vegas and ran a prostitution ring called, Tony’s Ponies. She said she left it a few years ago and now lately Tony has been harassing her, trying to get her to come back. She only told me this cause after Tony had Slim’s Diner set on fire, she realized our lives may be in danger………..Tony took Gwen, Marcus. That son of a bitch took her.” I started to sob.

Neither one of us spoke for minutes. I, too upset and full of tears to say anything, and Marcus sat there rubbing his stubble chin with one hand and tapping his thumb against the metal table with the other. His face was blank. I knew he was plotting something.

“You got a pen and paper on you?”

I looked up at the man before me. “What?”

“You got a pen and paper? Write down this guy’s full name for me and the name of that prostitution ring he’s got going on.”

I started looking through my purse. When I found an unused napkin and a pen, I wrote down what Marcus wanted to know but hesitated in giving it to him. “Wait. What are you going to do?”

He grabbed the paper from my hand and read it over. “I’m going to make use of my connections.”

Tension was evident in Marcus. His jaw tightened, his brow frowned, and I even noticed his breathing picked up a bit. This isn’t the look of a man who’s just gonna set up a search team for Gwen. Marcus was pissed.

“Are you gonna have him killed?”

The large man suddenly stood up, grabbing my hand to stand me up as well. He smiled at me. “This is nothing you need to worry over anymore. It’s all gonna be taken care of. But do expect a knock at your door at no later than midnight tonight.”

I nodded, trying to wipe my eyes. “Okay.”

“Oh, and when you see her, give her this for me.” Marcus reached in his back pocket and handed me a folded up sheet of paper. “I wrote it a few days ago and was planning on mailing it but since you’re here, I figured you could give it to her.”

I smiled. “Sure.”

“Thank you. And tell her I love her.”

***

3rd POV

After Savannah left, Marcus made his way to a payphone. Calling Collect, he waited as the line began to ring. “Hello?” a male voice answered.

“Is this Eric?”

“Yeah……Marcus?”

“Yeah. Look I don’t have a lot of time on the phone so let me speak to Jay.”

“Okay, boss.” Marcus had to wait only seconds before another male voice came to the line. But this voice was much more baritone.

“Marcus.”

“Jay, I’ve got an errand for you.”

“I love errands. What’s up?”

“You remember my girl Gwen I told you about, right?”

“The girl you gave that diamond necklace to, yeah, I remember seeing a picture of her…”

“She’s been taken and I need you to go and find her.”

“Any idea where she could be?”

“Actually, I know where she is. Some guy named…” Marcus pulled out the napkin Savannah wrote on earlier. “Tony Jensen. He owns a hotel in Vegas and runs his prostitution ring there, called Tony’s Ponies. Find out where this place is and go get her. Today. I’ll call you back around 11:30 tonight to make sure you’ve got her.”

“It’s as good as done, bossman.”

“Good. And Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“Send this Tony guy a final warning from me. Let him know he doesn’t fuck with what’s mine, understand?”

“I got’chu.”

“Good.” He slammed the phone back on it’s base.

***

That night…

Gwen’s POV

Exhausted didn’t come close to explaining how I was feeling. Since that fateful night three days ago when Tony kidnapped and raped me in one of his hotel’s storage rooms, I’ve been abused non stop. I started out rendering my services to the regulars, often too doped up on drugs to even know I was being pounded by perverts who didn’t seem to care or find it odd that I was unresponsive during the sex. Now I’ve become a personal slave in Tony’s private quarters, located on the top floor of his hotel—the penthouse. Tied to the bed when he wants to use me, tied to the corner on the floor when he doesn’t—like a fucking dog. At the moment I was in the corner—an hour earlier I was on the bed. No longer in the pajamas I was dragged here in, Tony made me wear black lace underwear and nothing else. I’d been fed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and water for dinner but the handcuffs around my wrists that retain me made it hard to consume any of it. I managed anyway though because I was starving and this sandwich was the most I’d gotten to eat since I’d been brought there. Most of my meals would usually consist of bowls of cereal and the remaining milk as my refreshment. I think this meal upgrade had something to do with what happened earlier. Tony tried to take me and I kept blacking out. Pissed off with me, he slapped me a number of times, chained me back to the corner, then left out. A few minutes after he left, some young guy brought in my plate with water and a message. “Tony said for you to eat this quickly cause he was gonna be back in a few minutes.” On top of not eating a decent meal in days, I also haven’t taken any meds since being here.

I was so hungry, I swallowed the sandwich nearly whole. I was in the middle of gulping down my glass of water when Tony walked back in. Grabbing a handful of my hair, he turned my face up towards his. “My, my, lovely, you’ve made a mess of yourself. Your cheeks have jelly all over them.” Leaning down he licked and kissed my face clean. I felt like a cat or something. With my bound hands I pushed at his chest.

“Stop.”

“Come on now, lovely. Don’t act rude. I have a surprise for you. We’re gonna try something new tonight. I think you’ll like it.”

“Fuck you.” I was instantly slapped for that. The blow dazed my already fatigued brain and I fell over, tears in my eyes.

“What did I just say about being rude?” Unlocking me from the chain on the floor, Tony picked me up and tossed me on the bed, stomach first.

“Please. Please don’t make me do this.” I pleaded as he straddled my back and hooked my handcuffs to the small chain that was dangling from the headboard. Next, he moved to my feet, tying a rope around my ankles to the bottom bed posts.

“But I haven’t even told you what the surprise is yet.” He slowly ran his large hands up the backs of my legs, then stopped at my backside, massaging me there and pressing his unwanted mouth on my skin. I whimpered. “I thought it would be great if we invited some company over to join us.” He dragged his hot tongue up my spine to the nape of my neck. “Some of the boys were curious about you. Curious about how you tasted, how you felt, the smell of your hair. So I thought, ‘why not’. We can just make it one big party...” Tony stretched himself on top of me then ran his hands over my exposed skin. I could feel his already bulging erection poking me in the back. “I’ll take you first…” he grinded into me. “Then another will take you…” he grinded again. “And another….” He grinded again and I started to struggle.

“Get off me! Let go!”

Frustrated, Tony pulled my head back by my hair so fast, I gasped at the force. “Scream again, and I’ll snap your neck, you understand me?” he growled in my ear.

Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open and a tall man with chocolate brown skin and freshly groomed black hair walked in. Wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, and a blue zipper hoodie, his large frame stood casually—hands in his pockets—like he was coming to see a friend, but his face said otherwise. Tony sat up quickly. “What the fuck?”

“You Tony Jensen?” The stranger asked in a very baritone voice.

“Maybe. Who the hell are you?”

“A messenger.”

“Oh really? And what do you have to tell me? Can’t you see I’m fucking busy here?”

“I’m to tell you that you have a problem keeping your hands off things that don’t belong to you…” The man glanced at me. “My boss is pretty pissed with you because of that. Really pissed actually.”

“Fuck you and your boss!”

The man at the door shook his head, sadly. “Shouldn’t have said that.” Pulling one hand out his pocket, he held out a gun, pointing it directly at Tony’s head. Immediately pulling the trigger, a bullet pierced his skull right between his eyes.

Screaming at the loud gun shot, I started to panic when I felt Tony’s dead body collapse on top of mine. The man pocketed his gun again and came towards me. He pushed Tony off me and that’s when I pleaded for my life.

“Please don’t kill me! I don’t wanna die! Please, I—”

“Calm down, Gwen.”

That’s when I paused. “You—You know me?”

The man untied my ankles. “I’m Jay. I work for your boyfriend. He told me to find you and take you home.” He touched the cuffs on my wrists. “You know where the key is?”

“He keeps it in the top drawer of his dresser.” Walking off, Jay finds the key and releases me from the metal cuffs. Removing the hoodie, he hands it to me and I quickly zip myself in it. “Thank you, Jay.”

“Just following orders. Now lets go. Everybody in my way was taken care of, but a red head guy ran off and he might be bringing the police.” Grabbing my hand he stands me up and we try for the door. But still too weak from my lack of sleep and malnutrition, I fell to my knees.

“I can’t.”

Slipping his large hands under me, Jay lifted me in his arms bridal-style and began to carry me out the hotel.

***

I slept most of the way in Jay’s big SUV but woke up again when he opened the door and carried me inside my apartment complex. Once reaching my floor, he didn’t turn to my apartment door. He turned to Savannah’s. Knocking twice we didn’t have to wait long before there was the quick sound of feet and the front door swinging open.

“Gwen, honey!” Moving aside, she let Jay bring me into her apartment and set me down on her couch.

“I’m out.” The man said and made his way for the door.

“Wait.” I called out to him. Jay turned and walked back to me. “What about your jacket?”

“Keep it. I’ve got plenty.”

Struggling to stand, I reached my arms around Jay and hugged him. “Thank you so much. I’d be dead right now if you hadn’t came.”

Using one arm he hugged me back. “Like I said before, I was just following orders.”

“Well, you’re a hero to me.” I kissed his cheek.

Nodding, he stepped back. “Be safe, kid.” Then he left. When he did, I turned my eyes to Savannah and watched as she covered her mouth with her hands. Tears rolled freely down her face and my own.

I suddenly found myself wrapped in her arms and I held on tight to her. “Thank God you’re alive!” She said.

“I’m so sorry, Savannah.” I cried.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Had I not whored myself, this never would’ve happened and—“

“Gwenie, it’s in the past now. All of it. It’s over.”

“Is it really? Tony’s friend, Morgan, escaped…”

Sitting us both down, Savannah grabbed both my hands and looked me in the eyes. “That’s why you can’t stay here anymore.”

“What do you mean? I should find another apartment?”

“I’m sending you back home. I already bought the ticket. Your bus leaves in an hour.”

In disbelief, I started to shake my head. “No. No, Savannah.” I cried. She pulled me into her arms.

“Honey, you can’t stay here anymore. It’s not safe for you. You need to go home and be with your family.”

“But you’re my family too! You said it yourself!”

“I know, Gwenie-poo, and that’s why I’m doing this. You’re my little sister and I love you. I refuse to let anything else bad happen to you.” Pulling me back so she could see my face, she began to wipe the tears away. “Now, we don’t have much time so we’re gonna need to patch up these cuts on your brow and lip, then get you packed.”

***

It was 12:45 am and the large Greyhound hummed as the driver opened the luggage compartment at the bottom and began loading people’s suitcases—including mine. With Savannah’s help I was able to clean up the cuts on my face, but the bruise I carried on my cheek couldn’t be helped. Dressed in something similar to what I wore when I came to Las Vegas—baggy sweatpants—I stood outside the bus with the my blonde friend.

Reaching in her purse, she pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me. “This is for you. It’s from Marcus.” I took the paper. “He wanted me to tell you, he loves you.” Closing my eyes, I pressed the paper to my chest.

“How did this happen? Life was perfect. I had a job, friends, a boyfriend………now I’m leaving with exactly what I came here with—nothing.”

“You’ll always have me, Gwenie-poo. We’ll call each other everyday.”

I nodded.

“And though it didn’t last forever, you have experienced love. How’s that saying go, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.’”

“Yeah. But it still hurts.”

She ran her hand down my arm comfortingly. “I know, sweetie.”

“Ladies and gentleman! The bus will be departing in ten minutes! Please start making your way on the bus please!” Yelled the male driver.

“I guess it’s my time.” Savannah kissed me then pulled me into another big hug. I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“I’m going to miss you too. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m so proud of you. To go from the shy, effeminate boy, to a confident, loving woman was no easy task to take. But you did it, beautiful. You did it.”

“You helped make me who I am. I’ll never forget that.”

She stepped away from me. “You’d better not.” She smiled, showing her trademark dimples. “Now get on the bus.”

Backstepping towards the bus, I waved my hand to her. “I love you, Savannah.”

She waved back. “Love you too, Gwenie-poo.” She stood there, unmoving as the rest of the people loaded the bus and the driver put loud thing into DRIVE. I watched her, hand waving in the air, as the bus pulled away and onto the highway.

Sighing, I leaned my head back on the seat, clutched Marcus’ note, and closed my eyes. Florida, I’m coming home.



TBC...Up next: Gwen finally returns home after two years away. What will be the family's reactions to their "son/brother"? How will the town, who's known George Jr., react to his new change?