The one thing that keeps me sane...

DISCLAIMER : SORRY TOOK SO LONG...HOWEVER THIS STORY STILL REMAINS MINE AND IF YOU STEAL ANY OF IT...GOD HELP YOU...

ONWARDS---------------->

Laraine knocked on the door and stood there a moment waiting for an answer. After everything that Anthony had said to him he had had to leave. He couldn’t take it. He loved Ben, he really did, but there was no doubt in his mind he worried about him, about them. Especially about what would happen if Ben ever got hooked into that stuff again. He jumped as the door opened.

“Lain?” Angela asked him. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to pick up Jacoby.” Laraine answered. “I just left early and wanted to come over and get him.”

All off a sudden Jacoby was on his leg. “Lain! We’re going home?”

Laraine laughed and picked Jacoby up. “Yeah, and you need to go to bed.”

They walked into the apartment and Laraine walked him back to his room. Jacoby sat on the bed facing Laraine as the guy looked for pajamas. “Are you sad?”

“Why would you think that?” Laraine smiled at him and walked back over. “Come on, let’s get your pajamas on.”

After Laraine helped Jacoby put his pajamas on he lifted the blanket and made sure Jacoby was cozy and warm. He sat there, on the side of Jacoby’s bed, running a hand through the boy’s black hair. “Where is daddy?” Jacoby asked him, seemingly just realizing that Ben was nowhere in the house.

Laraine sighed. “He’ll be home later.” he looked away from Jacoby. “Jacoby do you want me here?”

“Yes!” Jacoby sat up. “Are you leaving?”

“I just want to know if you want me here.” Laraine muttered. “I mean, wouldn’t it be strange me living with you and your dad?”

Jacoby pouted. “Lain are you and daddy fighting? Cause that is why mommy left daddy...and I don’t want you to leave daddy cause I want you to be my new mommy.”

That made Laraine smile softly and he looked back up at Jacoby. “That’s really sweet Jacoby.” he ruffled the boy’s hair. “Alright, to bed with you.”

Jacoby laid back and yawned. “Promise you’ll be here in the mornin’?”

“Promise.” Laraine answered and left the room. Someone knocked on the door and Laraine walked to the front. He opened it and his eyes widened seeing someone standing there holding Ben up. “What happened?” Laraine asked, helping the guy get Ben to the couch to lay him down.

“My guess is that someone spiked his drink.” the guy told him and smirked. “My names Greg, I’m an old friend of Ben’s. If I am not mistaken you would be Laraine, the new love interest?”

Laraine ran a hand through his hair and nodded. “Yeah, I guess. What...what do you mean someone spiked his drink?”

Greg shrugged. “I assume someone wanted him immobile so they could do something. Do what I don’t know but they wanted him out of it.” he looked over Laraine a moment. “So, have you and Ben had sex?”

“Excuse me?” Laraine snapped. “Why is that your business?”

“I’m an old boyfriend.” Greg dropped down into the chair. “Just a little jealous is all. Especially if you two have had sex.”
For a moment Laraine just stood there. “Yes...we have.”

Standing up Greg walked over to Laraine. “He your first?”

This was really freaking Laraine out. “Yes...he was.”

“Cute.” Greg subconsciously licked his lips. “You’re cute. Makes me wonder what the fuck Ben wants with you.” that blew Laraine away. The fact that Greg even had the nerve to say that and the fact that that was the first time anyone had ever wondered why Ben was with him instead of the opposite was just insane. “You really don’t seem like his type but...things are strange now days.”

“Get out.” Laraine ordered.

“I’m sorry, since when is this your house?” Greg asked him.

Laraine clenched his fists. “Since Benjamin asked me to live here with him. Now get out!”

Greg laughed. “You are living with him?” he smirked. “Wow, that’s something I wouldn’t think Ben would do, live with someone he didn’t really care about.”

“Benjamin cares about me.” Laraine argued. “And it doesn’t matter what you say because you are not going to turn me again him so you can just get out.”’

“Well then,” Greg got right in Laraine’s face. “Next time you leave Ben alone at a party, make sure he’s willing to be faithful to you.”

“What are you talking about?”

Greg smirked. “I’m saying that after you had your little freak out and left I made your wonderful, caring boyfriend feel a little better.” he tapped Laraine’s nose and turned to leave. “I’ll bet you money he doesn’t talk to you the way he talks to me.” he turned to look back at Laraine again. “Ben and I are the same, we both like to get down and dirty during sex. It’s why we fit.”

The moment Laraine heard the door close he dropped to his knees. Ben had...no! No he couldn’t have. Ben wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t do that! He knew that Ben had problems but Ben would not do that to him! He couldn’t do that to him! No way. Tears began to fall from Laraine’s eyes. He shouldn’t even believe that Greg guy. He knew he shouldn’t. He had looked stoned as it was meaning he could have completely been lying to him. Not to mention Greg had flat out said he was jealous. He could just be trying to get Laraine from Ben.

“Baby?” Laraine looked over to see Ben leaning in his forearm looking over at him. “Baby come here.” Slowly Laraine crawled over the couch and Ben ran a hand through his hair. “What’s wrong baby? Why are you crying?”

Laraine sniffled. “I love you...”

Ben kissed him. “I love you too baby. What’s wrong.”

At that moment Laraine began to sob. “Benjamin tell me...did you?” he tried to calm himself. “Did you sleep with him? Did you sleep with Greg?”


hehe...so...Michael and Ryan now

Ryan helped Michael into the apartment and sat him on the couch. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and some Aspirin before walking back into the room and handing them to Michael. Michael threw the glass against the wall, shattering it, and the pills followed after.

“Michael please.” Ryan begged him. “You need to take something.”

“Fuck that.” Michael stood and yelled at him. “The stuff I want is the fucking stuff you took me the fuck away from at the party!”

Ryan hugged himself. “Michael you need to stop doing this to yourself! One of these days you are going to fucking die because of all of this!”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Fuck Ryan! You are not my fucking mother! I will do what the fuck I want!”

“Fine then!” Ryan yelled at him. “Fucking ruin your life Michael. Why do I even give a fuck about someone like you?” Michael grabbed Ryan’s upper arm. “Owe...Michael you’re hurting me...”

“Don’t be a fucking baby.” Michael snapped. “Shit stop being a fucking woman Ryan and get over it!”

Ryan began to cry. “You are such a fucking dick!” he screamed. “I fucking hate you! You fucking whore!”

Michael let Ryan go and then backhanded him strait to the ground. “I’m the fucking whore Ryan? Me? I saw you with that fucking guy tonight Ryan! Fucking flirting with him! You fucking little slut! Do not call me a fucking little whore when you are fucking flirting with every person with a fucking dick!”

On shaking arms Ryan pushed himself up off the floor and sat there. “You...you hit me...”

“Fuck.” Michael dropped next to Ryan and pulled him close. “Fuck Ryan I’m sorry. I just...fuck I’m so fucking high...I’m so sorry.”

“Fuck you...” Ryan sobbed into his chest. “Fucking bastard.”

Michael pet his head. “I’m so sorry Ryan. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t.”

Ryan shook his head. “I...forgive you...”

“Good boy.” Michael kissed him. “Come on.” he pulled Ryan up. “Lets go have some fun huh?”

back with Ben and Lain

“What?” Ben asked, trying to wrap his mind around what Laraine had just asked.

Laraine tried to dry his eyes. “Did you sleep with him Benjamin?” Laraine looked him in the eye. “Did you sleep with Greg? Tell me! Tell me the truth Benjamin!”

Ben sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck...what? Greg?” he shook his head. “Fuck no. I mean...fuck I don’t think so.” he groaned and tried to think. “Something hit me hard. Fuck.” He jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

Standing Laraine went after him and sat down next to Ben, who was leaning over the toilet. He wrapped an arm around Ben’s waist and ran the other threw his hair. “Feel better?” he whispered once Ben was done.

“Shit...” Ben groaned. “Baby you are to fucking good to me...” He threw up again. “Fuck...I didn’t fucking...sleep with him. Baby I would never...do something like that...to you.” he more of dry heaved this time. “Fuck...” he turned his head and smiled at Laraine. “But fuck baby I’m not gonna lie and tell you we didn’t...kinda...make out I guess...” he turned and threw up again. “Shit...”

Laraine leaned his head against Ben’s shoulder. “Shh.” he continued to kind of toy with Ben’s hair. “I’m gonna go get you some aspirin okay? I’ll be right back.”

Ben grabbed his arm before he could stand and looked at the boy. “I know you wanna yell at me baby...so do it...I fucking got drunk...and fucking...shit baby please yell at me.”

A small smile formed on Laraine face and he kissed Ben’s forehead. “I’m not gonna yell at you. Greg...he told me someone put something in your drink Benjamin. That someone was trying to do something to you.” he pet Ben’s head lightly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Now I am.” Ben smiled softly. “Baby I love you.”

“Love you too.” Laraine kissed him on the forehead again. “Can you make it to bed?”

“Maybe.” Ben flushed the toilet and slowly pushed himself up, with the help of Laraine. “This sucks. I want the name and address of the person who fucking put something in my drink.”

Laraine smiled and helped Ben up the rest of the way. “Daddy?” the two looked over at the door to see Jacoby standing there. “Are you okay daddy?”

Ben smiled at the boy. “Hey monster, you need to go back to bed.”

The boy ran over and hugged Ben’s leg. “Are you sick?”

“Nah I’m fine.” Ben leaned down and picked Jacoby up with one arm. “I got Lain here takin’ care of me so I’m gonna be just fine.” the boy nodded. “Hey,” Ben nudged Laraine and kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna go put him to sleep. You’re tired too so you go to bed.”

“Benjamin-” Laraine started but Ben cut him off.

“I’ll be in shortly.” Ben promised and walked Jacoby into his room.

Jacoby snuggled into the blankets and looked up at his father. “Daddy don’t make Lain go away okay?”

Ben looked at the boy questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want Lain to leave.” Jacoby answered. “So don’t fight.”

“Alright.” Ben nodded with a small smile on his face. “I wont fight.” he stood up and walked to the bathroom. Vomit was not the best taste to have in his mouth and he was not into falling asleep with that taste. When he finally walked back into the room he crawled up to Laraine and kissed the boy softly. “You sure you don’t want to yell at me baby?”

Laraine nodded. “I’m sure. I just...I don’t want to go places like that any more Benjamin.” he looked away from the guy. “It’s just...I don’t like thinking about what could happen.”

Ben tilted Laraine’s head so the boy had to look at him. “Baby it doesn’t matter how drunk I get or what someone slips in my drink okay? I would never sleep with anyone else, especially not Greg.”

That made Laraine smile a little bit. “I got scared Benjamin...” Ben laid down and pulled the boy to himself. “Just thinking about what could have happened to you and how I had just left. I should have just stayed and made sure you were okay...”

“Baby no one in this world can see what is going to happen.” Ben told him. “And going to that party tonight, or any night, I talk the risk that someone is gonna try and do something to me.” he lifted Laraine’s head again so he could look into the boy’s eyes. “Or worse something to you.”

“Yeah.” Laraine smiled. “I just don’t want something bad to happen.”


Ryan and Michael

“Fuck!” Michael groaned and got off the bed. “What the fuck is wrong with you Ryan?”

Ryan sat up and fixed his shirt. “I’m not gonna let you fuck me when you are like this Michael!”

“So you’ll go fuck some other guy you don’t know but you wont fuck me?” Michael yelled at him. “You fucking slut Ryan!”

“Who fucking said I slept with someone else?” Ryan yelled at him. “Stop assuming I did shit Michael when I didn’t! And you are one to fucking talk about being a fucking slut! Like you haven’t fucking cheated on me?”

That clearly pissed Michael off. “And that guy tonight Ryan? You seemed pretty fucking happy with him!”

Ryan began to feel tears falling down his face. “Fuck you! Just because someone likes me doesn’t mean I’m cheating on you! Fucking bastard!”

“Get the fuck out of my apartment!” Michael yelled at him. “Do not even fucking question me! Just get the fuck out of my apartment now!”

“Where the fuck am I supposed to go?” Ryan got up and screamed at him. “Where Michael?”

“Does it look like I give a flying fuck where you go? I just want you fucking out of my fucking house!” Michael screamed at him and grabbed his arm, hauling him down the hallway. “Get out!” He opened the door and pushed Ryan through it. “And I never want to see your fucking slutty little face near me again!”

Ryan just stood there staring at the door that had just been slammed in his face. Where was he going to go? He sure as hell wasn’t going to call Zak because he knew that Zak had taken Alex somewhere special or something. He knew that Ben and Laraine were probably at Ben’s doing things that Ryan was so not going to interrupt. What was he going to do? Sit out in the cold and hope that he didn’t die?

He began to walk down the street and tried not to let the tears fall. Hugging himself he tried to figure out what he was going to do. He had money, but not enough to get a motel...and even then where would he go in the morning? How could this be happening to him? How could things have gone from so wonderfully good to so horribly bad so quickly?

“Hey, Ryan?” Ryan turned to see the guy he had been talking to at the party behind him. “I thought that was you.” he had somewhat of an accent. Australian was Ryan’s guess even though it wasn’t very prominent.

“Hey Audrey.” Ryan smiled softly. “If you don’t mind I kind of just want to walk.”

He smiled. “Yeah, that was my plan too.” he walked up to Ryan. “Why don’t we walk together?”

Ryan smiled. “I’d like that.” they began to walk and just kept quiet a while. “Why are you just walking? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t mind.” Audrey answered. “I’m just walkin’ to clear my head. Needed to get out. It’s funny how even when you live alone you have to just leave sometimes.”

That made Ryan smile. “I forgot that you were like twenty.”

“Twenty-two.” Audrey corrected. “Only by a few days though. So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you walking?”

“Because Michael kicked me out of the apartment.” Ryan answered. “He saw me talking to you tonight and he was really out of it so he was calling me shit and just threw me out.”

Audrey chuckled and rolled his eyes. “What a fuckin’ jerk. I hate people like that. That think just because they are dating someone it’s not okay for that person to talk to other people. I had a boyfriend like that once and he just pissed me off. One day he actually got mad enough at me for talking to some guy that he fucking beat the shit out of me.”

“That’s horrible.” Ryan told him.

“From the looks of it.” Audrey pointed at Ryan’s face. “Your treatment was likely the same.”

Ryan looked away from him. “It’s nothing. I’m just clumsy.”

The older guy smiled. “Whatever you want to say.” he shoved his hands in his pockets. “You still with him?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan answered. “I understand that he was drunk and all that. So that means he didn’t mean it. I know he’d never mean something like that...but still...it’s hard.”

“Well, in the mean time, I suppose you don’t have a place to stay.” Ryan nodded. “Then come stay at my house. I have an extra room and it would give you somewhere to be. Sound good?”

Ryan smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Audrey nodded. “And hey, don’t get me wrong or anything but...you are a hell of a lot younger than I am and so I don’t want you thinking that this is going to be anything more then friends.”

“Don’t worry.” Ryan told him, though slightly disappointed. “I wasn’t expecting anything else.”

“Good.” Audrey told him. “I was afraid you got like...the wrong impression at the bonfire. I mean, I like you and everything, you’re really cool. I just...don’t think it’d be the best.”

Ryan waved it away. “Don’t worry about it. I understand.”

“Lets go then.” Audrey told him. They began to walk and there was a silence between them again. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you really?”

For a moment Ryan actually thought about lying and telling him he was eighteen but he knew he didn’t look it at all. “I’m sixteen. A whole six years under you.”

“Insane.” Audrey smirked. “I thought you were younger actually. I was gonna guess fourteen.”

Ryan laughed. “Yeah right. I’m not that young lookin’ and I know that.”

Audrey smirked. “Maybe, maybe not.”

“Maybe not?” Ryan asked. “That means I look like some old guy? Sheesh, I’m so hurt!” he was so flirting. It was wrong to considering he still had a boyfriend.

“Not what I meant and you know it!” Audrey nudged him. “Come on, this is it.”

ben and lain

Ben kissed Laraine softly and brushed some of the boy’s hair out of his face. “You got school tomorrow baby?”

Laraine nodded and they kissed again. “Yeah.” he snuggled closer into Ben. “Goodnight Benjamin.”

“Night.” Ben whispered and just lay there as Laraine slowly drifted to sleep. Once he was sure Laraine was out of it he slid from the bed and went out to the living room. Picking up his phone he sat on the couch and dialed Michael’s number.

“Do you realize what time it is?” Michael groaned into the phone. “Fucking shit Ben.”

“I lied to him.” Ben muttered into the phone. “I lied to Lain.”

Michael sighed and was silent a moment. “What did you lie to him about Ben?”

Ben bit his lip and closed his eyes. “I...I had sex with Greg tonight.”

“You what?” Michael asked him. “Ben are you kidding me? Why the fuck would you go and do something like that? Let alone lie about!”

“I know!” Ben hissed at him. “What am I going to do? I mean, I barely fucking remember what happened because some fuck put something in my drink! What if someone saw and they plan on telling Lain? There are people out there who want to get at me.”

Michael laughed. “Well you should have fucking thought of that before you went and slept with your ex! Shit Ben we all remember Greg! We all know him! He’s fucking insane and you know he wants you. He probably slipped you something just to get you into bed.”

This was all coming down hard on Ben. He knew he was going to fuck up. How could he have done this? “Michael what am I going to do? Lain, he’ll kill me. If not before then he will now that I have lied to him!”

“Ben this is your mess and I can’t fix it.” Michael told him. “I would love to help you Ben but I can’t. You lied to him and that is your deal. It’s not like I can make it magically go away.”

“I know.” Ben groaned. “I just don’t know what to do! Everything is finally calming down and I go and do this!”
“Benjamin?” Ben looked up and saw Lain come down the hall way. “What are you doing?”

Ben hung up the phone with Michael and stood. “Sorry baby, I thought you were asleep. That was just Michael.”

Laraine nodded. “Well come on. It’s late.”

The next day Laraine sat in school completely out of it. He was worried about Ben. He’d been distant that morning and not even kissed Laraine when he’d gotten out of the car for school. He didn’t know what was going on! Clearly something had happened and Laraine just wanted to know what was wrong. There were so many things that it could have been that Laraine just didn’t know.

“Hey.” Ryan walked up to Laraine after school. “You seem a little upset. What’s going on?”

Laraine shook his head and sighed. “Nothing I just...Anna left yesterday while I was with Benjamin so I feel bad about that and something is wrong with Benjamin and I don’t know what it is. That and I haven’t seen Alex lately cause he’s with your cousin all the time.”

Ryan chuckled. “Yeah, they did hit it off really well. So, what’s up with Ben? He’s just acting weird?”

“Yeah,” Laraine nodded. “I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to ask.”

“You and Ben will work it out. You two always do.” Ryan told him. A car pulled up and Ryan smiled, waving at the guy who got out of the car.

Laraine’s eyes widened seeing the guy. He was hot. He had purple in his black bangs and the back was spiked up. Very hot and Laraine was wondering how Ryan knew him. “Ryan who is that?”

“Audrey.” Ryan answered with a smile. “Just a friend. We met at the bonfire and started to get along. He let me stay at his house last night cause Michael kicked me out.”

“Hey there.” Audrey said walking up to the two. “I was headed to a friends and thought you might like to come.”
Ryan just smiled more. “Yeah sure. Um, would you mind if Lain came?” he looked at Laraine. “That is if you want to Lain.”

Laraine shook his head. “No, I have things to do sorry.”

“No problem.” Audrey told him. “Lets go Ryan.”

“See you Lain.” Ryan said as he walked off with Audrey.

A heavy sigh left Laraine’s lips as he stood from the bench he had been sitting on and started down the road. He’d told Ben that he needed to go home to talk to his mom about everything was going on, and the whole him moving in with Ben thing, and that he needed to do it alone. Still, he had been a little upset when Ben had just kind of nodded and said okay. Usually Ben would argue with him for like twenty minutes on how he should be there with Laraine. It was just different.

“Lain.” he stopped and turned to see Anthony walking up behind him. They just immediately began to walk
together. “What are you doing?”

“Just heading home.” Laraine answered. “What are you doing?”

Anthony shrugged. “I was bored and thought I would take a walk. I don’t live far from here. How are you?”

Laraine shoved his hands in his pockets. “Fine. I guess. Just a little upset.”

“Awe, why are you upset?” Anthony asked him.

Another sigh left Laraine. “Just having problems with my boyfriend. Well, not really problems, not like that. He was just acting funny this morning and I don’t know why.”

“And your boyfriend is Ben right?” Anthony asked as if a little afraid of the answer.

“Yeah...” Laraine answered cautiously. “Why?”

Anthony shook his head. “You wont want to hear it. It’s nothing.”

~*~*~*~*~

Review please. I realize that it took me a while to get this chapter up but I was having comp problems and it wasn't lettin' me do shit.
Alright, so, Michael is a bastard...I have been waiting to get that into the open and I feel so much better now that I have. I'm also so excited that Audrey is now in my story. I love him so much!!! His name just makes me happy!!! And Anthony's part is going to start coming into effect now!!! So yeyness!!!
Review please please please!!!