Take Me From This Pain, Brian's story
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
39
Views:
8,696
Reviews:
80
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
39
Views:
8,696
Reviews:
80
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Leaving California
"Man, I can't believe we're all going our separate ways after tonight!" Ryan groused as he tossed his soda can into a nearby trash bag.
"I know," Sherry smiled from her seat on the couch next to her new boyfriend. "At least Chris and I are both going to UCLA. The rest of you are headed east. Too bad not together, though."
"We won't be THAT far away," Brian chimed in. "And Ryan's going to be near Jason and Kevin, so he'll know somebody in town."
"Yeah, somebody who doesn't know me too well and another somebody who can't stand me."
"Kevin doesn't hate you," Matt laughed. "He's more mad at me than anyone else."
"Don't be too sure about that," Ryan said with a raised eyebrow. "I emailed them like Brian said to and Kevin gave me a pretty chilly response."
"What did he say?" Brian now looked irritated, though he usually looked that way when they were talking about something Kevin did.
"Nothing too bad," Ryan smiled as he turned to the smaller boy. "Just that he would "˜try to fit' me into his schedule when I got there. I asked if he and Jay could show me around a little."
"He can be such a moody prick sometimes," Brian growled under his breath.
Ryan and Matt exchanges amused glances while Brian got up and went to the kitchen to retrieve another bag of chips.
"He's getting much better about coming out of his shell, isn't he?" Chris grinned.
"Yeah," Matt nodded. "Gary's "˜passing' helped."
"Your relationship helped," Ryan corrected.
"My . . . what?"
"What did you think, we wouldn't be able to figure it out?" Chris asked with smirk.
Matt turned stunned and panicked eyes to Sherry who shrugged back at him.
"I swear I had NOTHING to do with it," she said.
"Nothing to do with what?" Brian asked as he put the bag of chips on the coffee table.
"Nothing," Matt smiled nervously. "Oh, hey look, we're out of salsa." He picked up the jar and looked inside for effect. "Bri, can you get another jar?"
"Sure," the blonde smiled and took the empty container from Matt as he walked back out of the room.
"Okay, in less than a minute, what the HELL are you two talking about?" Matt hissed lowly to Chris and Ryan who both grinned back at his discomfort.
"Matt, I figured out you were gay after you and Sherry split," Ryan explained. "As for Chris, he's just observant."
"How?" both Sherry and Matt cried.
"Well, I don't know how Ryan figured it out, but I just watched you with Brian," Chris shrugged. "It doesn't bother me any. You're still the same guy I played football with. And he needs someone who really cares about him. He seems to have really latched onto you, too, dude. You have changed, right? You're not playing him, are you?" Chris delivered the last line with an ominous glare.
"NO! Why does everyone think I'm up to something?" Matt sighed. "I know I was an ass before, but I will never hurt him again."
"Well, I don't think you will," Sherry assured him sending a glare back to her boyfriend beside her. "And I think MY opinion should count more since actually I dated you."
"Well, that's true," Ryan conceded. "Neither Chris or I have ever dated Matt."
"You know, just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I don't have standards," Matt shot back with a teasing grin.
"Okay, we only had hot salsa in the closet, but I can't get it open," Brian announced as he came back into the room with a small jar. He looked around at his friends, noting the sudden silence. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Not a thing, babe," Matt grinned and kissed him on the cheek.
"Eep!" Brian looked stunned. "Matt!"
"It's okay," Ryan waved his protest off. "We were just telling Matt that we're glad you two are together because it seems to be good for both of you."
"You KNEW?!"
Matt laughed at Brian's reaction and pulled the small blonde down into a chair with him, sitting him across his lap. He took the bottle of salsa from him and tossed it to Chris, who easily opened it and set it beside the bag of chips.
"Matt?"
"Shh, it's cool, Bri," Matt smiled as he brushed his lips over the small blonde boy's. "Sherry knew all along, but she and I didn't know the other two had figured it out."
"Not bad for a couple of dumb jocks, huh?" Chris smiled.
"I never thought you were dumb," Brian protested.
"We know YOU didn't," Ryan grinned. "Kevin, on the other hand."
"Kevin's an entity unto himself," Brian griped. "And he'll warm up to you. He just needs to get to know you better."
"If he lets me."
"He will," the small blonde assured him. "He's curious about you already."
"He is?" Ryan looked skeptical.
"Yeah," Brian shrugged, happily relaxing into Matt's arms as the taller boy stroked his long blonde hair. "He's curious as to why I became such good friends with you. Especially since he wasn't there to see it happen. He'll try to make you believe he doesn't give a rat's ass, but I'll be willing to bet he subtly tries to monopolize your free time until he figures you out."
"So, he will show Ryan around?" Matt asked, kissing the top of Brian's head.
"Yeah, but Jay might not be too thrilled."
"Jay'll be jealous of me? But I've always dated girls. No offense."
"If he thinks you're spending too much time with Kevin," Sherry said, picking up on what Brian was thinking. "It doesn't matter if he thinks you're gay or not. If he's anything like Matt, and he sounds like he is, he'll just want to make sure no guy gets near Kevin. But maybe if you started off by approaching Jason first, you can head that problem off and appease Kevin's curiosity, too."
"That's a pretty good assessment, baby," Chris smiled, pulling her closer to him. "When did you become an amateur psychologist?"
"When I started coming to her with my problems," Matt smiled guiltily. "I would have talked to Ryan but I wasn't sure how he would take it."
"You should know by now that I'm there for you no matter what," the dark haired boy replied.
"Yeah, but you and I both tortured Brian about shit like that," Matt shrugged and looked down at the treasure in his arms. "I didn't know where you stood on that subject."
"I stood where I always have, man," Ryan grinned. "Right behind you."
------------------------------------
"Well, that's that," Brian said sadly as he and Matt watched the taillights of Ryan's car disappear into the distance.
"We will see them all again, sweetie," Matt assured him as he closed the door and pulled Brian upstairs to the bedroom. "I promise you."
"Oh, I know. I'm just sad that so much will change with all of us."
"Change isn't a bad thing. Look at you. You've changed a lot over the last few months and it's been great for you."
"I haven't changed all that much," Brian argued. "I still run to you with every little problem."
"Well, I for one am hoping that never changes," Matt grinned. He pulled Brian in for a kiss just as they reached their room. "I like being the one you turn to."
"But I cause so much trouble."
"You don't cause any trouble," Matt frowned as he set Brian on the bed and dropped down beside him. "You saved me."
Brian looked stunned for a moment before speaking. "Did we fall into a parallel universe or something? I could swear I just heard you tell me that I saved YOU and not the other way around."
"We haven't," Matt chuckled. "And you did."
"Okay," Brian nodded. "But, um, HUH?"
Matt laughed and pulled them both down to lie on the bed, spooning Brian from behind. He pulled the smaller body close to his and reveled in the scent that surrounded him. It was clean, smelling of soap, deodorant and pure Brian, something Matt knew he would never be tired of.
"Before you came to live with me, what did you think of me?"
Brian squirmed a little clearly not comfortable with that topic.
"Brian?" Matt prompted gently rubbing his cheek against his lover's silky blonde hair. "It's okay for you to answer truthfully. I won't be offended."
"But we weren't friends then," Brian protested. "I don't think about that time anymore."
"I know you don't, but I do."
Brian stilled and Matt knew he was turning that revelation over in his mind.
"You do?" the smaller boy finally asked softly.
"Mmm hmm."
"But why?"
Matt smiled behind the small blonde's shoulder, trying to figure out how best to word his answer without confusing him.
"I wasn't happy back then."
"You weren't?" Brian asked, turning over in Matt's arms so he could see him. "Why not?"
"How could I be happy when all I did was torture people?" Matt asked sadly. "It takes a really sick bastard to do that, and I like to believe I wasn't that far gone yet. Besides, I had apparently alienated my own father because of it."
"But you didn't know."
"Stop defending me," Matt smiled. "Or defending who I was."
Brian sat thoughtfully for a moment.
"But how did I save you?"
"See? This is what my dad meant by being too close to see the big picture," Matt grinned. "Discovering what was happening to you put an immediate end to my bullying days. Seeing you ready to . . ." His eyes began tearing up, as did Brian's. "It hammered home the pain you were in, Bri. And from that moment on, all I wanted to do was find a way to make you so happy that you would never want to die again. I'm pretty sure that's when I fell in love with you, because I haven't thought about anything else since. Just making you comfortable and happy."
"You have," Brian whispered, moving in closer to Matt. "You really have."
"I hope so. It's all I want. So you see? You saved me from my own sadness."
"Maybe," Brian gave him a crooked smile. "But what you did saved my life."
"And that's what saved mine."
Matt brought Brian's face close to his and kissed him deeply. It wasn't a hard, lustful kiss, but one filled with every ounce of love he could infuse into it.
"Matt?" Brian asked carefully as he pulled back.
"What, baby?"
"I love you, too."
Matt's heart thumped wildly in his chest when he heard the words he didn't even realize he'd been desperate to hear. He smoothed back Brian's hair as his eyes blurred with more tears.
"You do?"
Brian nodded shyly. Matt smiled and covered the boy's mouth with his lips again, sealing their declarations.
"Boston will be a new beginning for us," he assured Brian as he held him close. "I promise you I'll keep working to make you happy."
"You don't have to work at it," Brian laughed. "You just have to hold me."
"Oh, that goes without saying," the taller boy assured him, tightening his arms around the small body. "I'll never stop holding you."
"I know," Sherry smiled from her seat on the couch next to her new boyfriend. "At least Chris and I are both going to UCLA. The rest of you are headed east. Too bad not together, though."
"We won't be THAT far away," Brian chimed in. "And Ryan's going to be near Jason and Kevin, so he'll know somebody in town."
"Yeah, somebody who doesn't know me too well and another somebody who can't stand me."
"Kevin doesn't hate you," Matt laughed. "He's more mad at me than anyone else."
"Don't be too sure about that," Ryan said with a raised eyebrow. "I emailed them like Brian said to and Kevin gave me a pretty chilly response."
"What did he say?" Brian now looked irritated, though he usually looked that way when they were talking about something Kevin did.
"Nothing too bad," Ryan smiled as he turned to the smaller boy. "Just that he would "˜try to fit' me into his schedule when I got there. I asked if he and Jay could show me around a little."
"He can be such a moody prick sometimes," Brian growled under his breath.
Ryan and Matt exchanges amused glances while Brian got up and went to the kitchen to retrieve another bag of chips.
"He's getting much better about coming out of his shell, isn't he?" Chris grinned.
"Yeah," Matt nodded. "Gary's "˜passing' helped."
"Your relationship helped," Ryan corrected.
"My . . . what?"
"What did you think, we wouldn't be able to figure it out?" Chris asked with smirk.
Matt turned stunned and panicked eyes to Sherry who shrugged back at him.
"I swear I had NOTHING to do with it," she said.
"Nothing to do with what?" Brian asked as he put the bag of chips on the coffee table.
"Nothing," Matt smiled nervously. "Oh, hey look, we're out of salsa." He picked up the jar and looked inside for effect. "Bri, can you get another jar?"
"Sure," the blonde smiled and took the empty container from Matt as he walked back out of the room.
"Okay, in less than a minute, what the HELL are you two talking about?" Matt hissed lowly to Chris and Ryan who both grinned back at his discomfort.
"Matt, I figured out you were gay after you and Sherry split," Ryan explained. "As for Chris, he's just observant."
"How?" both Sherry and Matt cried.
"Well, I don't know how Ryan figured it out, but I just watched you with Brian," Chris shrugged. "It doesn't bother me any. You're still the same guy I played football with. And he needs someone who really cares about him. He seems to have really latched onto you, too, dude. You have changed, right? You're not playing him, are you?" Chris delivered the last line with an ominous glare.
"NO! Why does everyone think I'm up to something?" Matt sighed. "I know I was an ass before, but I will never hurt him again."
"Well, I don't think you will," Sherry assured him sending a glare back to her boyfriend beside her. "And I think MY opinion should count more since actually I dated you."
"Well, that's true," Ryan conceded. "Neither Chris or I have ever dated Matt."
"You know, just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I don't have standards," Matt shot back with a teasing grin.
"Okay, we only had hot salsa in the closet, but I can't get it open," Brian announced as he came back into the room with a small jar. He looked around at his friends, noting the sudden silence. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Not a thing, babe," Matt grinned and kissed him on the cheek.
"Eep!" Brian looked stunned. "Matt!"
"It's okay," Ryan waved his protest off. "We were just telling Matt that we're glad you two are together because it seems to be good for both of you."
"You KNEW?!"
Matt laughed at Brian's reaction and pulled the small blonde down into a chair with him, sitting him across his lap. He took the bottle of salsa from him and tossed it to Chris, who easily opened it and set it beside the bag of chips.
"Matt?"
"Shh, it's cool, Bri," Matt smiled as he brushed his lips over the small blonde boy's. "Sherry knew all along, but she and I didn't know the other two had figured it out."
"Not bad for a couple of dumb jocks, huh?" Chris smiled.
"I never thought you were dumb," Brian protested.
"We know YOU didn't," Ryan grinned. "Kevin, on the other hand."
"Kevin's an entity unto himself," Brian griped. "And he'll warm up to you. He just needs to get to know you better."
"If he lets me."
"He will," the small blonde assured him. "He's curious about you already."
"He is?" Ryan looked skeptical.
"Yeah," Brian shrugged, happily relaxing into Matt's arms as the taller boy stroked his long blonde hair. "He's curious as to why I became such good friends with you. Especially since he wasn't there to see it happen. He'll try to make you believe he doesn't give a rat's ass, but I'll be willing to bet he subtly tries to monopolize your free time until he figures you out."
"So, he will show Ryan around?" Matt asked, kissing the top of Brian's head.
"Yeah, but Jay might not be too thrilled."
"Jay'll be jealous of me? But I've always dated girls. No offense."
"If he thinks you're spending too much time with Kevin," Sherry said, picking up on what Brian was thinking. "It doesn't matter if he thinks you're gay or not. If he's anything like Matt, and he sounds like he is, he'll just want to make sure no guy gets near Kevin. But maybe if you started off by approaching Jason first, you can head that problem off and appease Kevin's curiosity, too."
"That's a pretty good assessment, baby," Chris smiled, pulling her closer to him. "When did you become an amateur psychologist?"
"When I started coming to her with my problems," Matt smiled guiltily. "I would have talked to Ryan but I wasn't sure how he would take it."
"You should know by now that I'm there for you no matter what," the dark haired boy replied.
"Yeah, but you and I both tortured Brian about shit like that," Matt shrugged and looked down at the treasure in his arms. "I didn't know where you stood on that subject."
"I stood where I always have, man," Ryan grinned. "Right behind you."
------------------------------------
"Well, that's that," Brian said sadly as he and Matt watched the taillights of Ryan's car disappear into the distance.
"We will see them all again, sweetie," Matt assured him as he closed the door and pulled Brian upstairs to the bedroom. "I promise you."
"Oh, I know. I'm just sad that so much will change with all of us."
"Change isn't a bad thing. Look at you. You've changed a lot over the last few months and it's been great for you."
"I haven't changed all that much," Brian argued. "I still run to you with every little problem."
"Well, I for one am hoping that never changes," Matt grinned. He pulled Brian in for a kiss just as they reached their room. "I like being the one you turn to."
"But I cause so much trouble."
"You don't cause any trouble," Matt frowned as he set Brian on the bed and dropped down beside him. "You saved me."
Brian looked stunned for a moment before speaking. "Did we fall into a parallel universe or something? I could swear I just heard you tell me that I saved YOU and not the other way around."
"We haven't," Matt chuckled. "And you did."
"Okay," Brian nodded. "But, um, HUH?"
Matt laughed and pulled them both down to lie on the bed, spooning Brian from behind. He pulled the smaller body close to his and reveled in the scent that surrounded him. It was clean, smelling of soap, deodorant and pure Brian, something Matt knew he would never be tired of.
"Before you came to live with me, what did you think of me?"
Brian squirmed a little clearly not comfortable with that topic.
"Brian?" Matt prompted gently rubbing his cheek against his lover's silky blonde hair. "It's okay for you to answer truthfully. I won't be offended."
"But we weren't friends then," Brian protested. "I don't think about that time anymore."
"I know you don't, but I do."
Brian stilled and Matt knew he was turning that revelation over in his mind.
"You do?" the smaller boy finally asked softly.
"Mmm hmm."
"But why?"
Matt smiled behind the small blonde's shoulder, trying to figure out how best to word his answer without confusing him.
"I wasn't happy back then."
"You weren't?" Brian asked, turning over in Matt's arms so he could see him. "Why not?"
"How could I be happy when all I did was torture people?" Matt asked sadly. "It takes a really sick bastard to do that, and I like to believe I wasn't that far gone yet. Besides, I had apparently alienated my own father because of it."
"But you didn't know."
"Stop defending me," Matt smiled. "Or defending who I was."
Brian sat thoughtfully for a moment.
"But how did I save you?"
"See? This is what my dad meant by being too close to see the big picture," Matt grinned. "Discovering what was happening to you put an immediate end to my bullying days. Seeing you ready to . . ." His eyes began tearing up, as did Brian's. "It hammered home the pain you were in, Bri. And from that moment on, all I wanted to do was find a way to make you so happy that you would never want to die again. I'm pretty sure that's when I fell in love with you, because I haven't thought about anything else since. Just making you comfortable and happy."
"You have," Brian whispered, moving in closer to Matt. "You really have."
"I hope so. It's all I want. So you see? You saved me from my own sadness."
"Maybe," Brian gave him a crooked smile. "But what you did saved my life."
"And that's what saved mine."
Matt brought Brian's face close to his and kissed him deeply. It wasn't a hard, lustful kiss, but one filled with every ounce of love he could infuse into it.
"Matt?" Brian asked carefully as he pulled back.
"What, baby?"
"I love you, too."
Matt's heart thumped wildly in his chest when he heard the words he didn't even realize he'd been desperate to hear. He smoothed back Brian's hair as his eyes blurred with more tears.
"You do?"
Brian nodded shyly. Matt smiled and covered the boy's mouth with his lips again, sealing their declarations.
"Boston will be a new beginning for us," he assured Brian as he held him close. "I promise you I'll keep working to make you happy."
"You don't have to work at it," Brian laughed. "You just have to hold me."
"Oh, that goes without saying," the taller boy assured him, tightening his arms around the small body. "I'll never stop holding you."