The Gay Man's Matchmaker

Chapter 23

The bachelor party was still going strong throughout the night and Joey and I had to make sure we didn’t get drunk so that we could keep an eye on the others. But since we were in a room filled with straight guys, for the most part, we figured it would be safer for all of us if we stayed sober anyway. Who needs some soused homophobe accusing me of coming onto him? I might have to pop someone Tommy’s friends with, and then he wouldn’t be too happy. Normally I don’t give a shit, but tonight’s his bachelor party, so I’m trying to me magnanimous. Work with me here, people!

After a while, Chris leaned over Genie to tell me he’d be right back. I assumed he was going to the bathroom or something. What am I, his mommy? Still, that Warren guy’s eyes followed him as he left. It made my internal sensors tweak but what could I do? I was the host of this high class event. Anyway, when Chris didn’t come back to the table after an hour, I looked around for him. Noticing that Warren, too, was gone, I sensed something wasn’t kosher. So I whispered to Joey that I was going to look for Chris and got up. When I found him, I wanted to kick myself for leaving him alone for so long. He was sitting haphazardly on a stool with his face planted down on the mahogany bar. Scott was cleaning glasses casually as he looked on, and Warren was standing close to Chris. Too close, my sensors were telling me.

“Chris?” I rushed over him and shook him, trying to wake him up. He hissed but otherwise didn’t move. “What the hell happened?” I yelled at Scott, wondering if he was planning to hit on Chris before I turned up. Or maybe Warren was. Maybe they both were! Damn it, I was ready to do battle here. Chris didn’t strike me as the kind of guy to get drunk at a party full of strangers.

“He asked for something strong,” Scott shrugged, trying his best to give me an innocent look. That might have worked, buddy, if you hadn’t gone down on me the night we met! “I gave him some.”

“Some what?!” I demanded, not in the mood for head games. Scott’s cute little ass would be mine and Joey’s if this was what it looked like!

“Tequila.”

“Tequila?!” both Warren and I cried. I looked at him suspiciously again. Something about that guy rubbed me the wrong way.

I felt really guilty for not keeping Chris closer to me and Joey at the table, especially when I saw the look of discomfort on his face when Jake and Warren showed up. Scott, bless his black little heart, walked away to take a drink order, so I turned to Warren and fixed him with one of my best Don’t fuck with me, asshole looks.

“How do you know him,” I asked. I kept my tone even but his expression took on a wary countenance. That’s right, fucker! Fear me!

“He and I went to the same college,” he replied meekly.

“Really?”

He could be telling the truth. After all, I still didn’t know much about Chris, but he wasn’t just my partner’s coworker anymore. He was my friend and I wasn’t letting anyone near him until I assessed the situation. Especially while he was stone cold drunk and flat out on a barstool.

“Because you two didn’t seem too happy to see each other,” I added coolly.

Warren stood his ground, I’ll give him that. He was nobody’s whipping boy, at least as far as I could see. “We were surprised we knew the same guy,” he said calmly. “That’s all.”

I looked at Chris again and sighed. The poor guy was having such a hard time making friends and meeting people. All I wanted to do was help him. And I’d promised Vic and Lauren I’d keep an eye on him, too.

“Well, I have to arrange to get him a cab,” I sighed, feeling even more guilty that I couldn’t leave the party to take him home myself. “Victoria will have my head if anything bad happens to him.” Maybe I could get Genie and Wendell to accompany him.

“That’s okay,” Warren said. “I’ll take him home.”

Sensors pick up something suspicious, Captain! Red alert! Evasive maneuvers!

“You don’t have to do that,” I replied flatly.

“It’s cool,” he smiled. If he’d smiled earlier I wouldn’t have had such reservations. It really transforms his face. He’s a hell of a good looking guy. “I know where he lives, and I was going to head out now anyway.”

He looked so sincere. Still, this was my friend, Chris, who hasn’t been living in New York for very long yet. And I read the papers. I know that psychopaths can blend in with the rest of us.

“But you don’t have to,” I said as politely as I could. “Your friend’s still here.”

And now that I mention it, what’s the deal with that friend? Jake and Warren seemed to travel everywhere together, from what I’ve heard Lauren say. If he’s got a boyfriend, why is he so interested in Chris?

“He’ll be fine,” Warren waved at Jake who nodded back. “I told him I was probably leaving early anyway.”

He told him that? I guess they’re not dating then. Jake looked like he would be the possessive type in a relationship. Actually, so did Warren. And the way he’d been eyeing Chris earlier made me nervous. Was he trying to pick up?

“Um …” I said uneasily.

“Really,” Warren added as he walked behind Chris’ stool and patted his blonde head reassuringly.

“War-ren?” Chris murmured softly.

“Yeah, buddy,” he drawled into Chris’ ear.

Chris picked up his head with a longing expression I’d not seen on him before.

“Okay then,” I said reluctantly. “Chris, you okay to go home with Warren?” I asked just to be sure they really knew each other.

“I mis-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s War-ren,” Chris sighed.

“I’m right here, Chris,” Warren smiled down at him.

I shrugged then, not having any other objections.

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The rest of the night was pretty predictable. I went back to the table and leaned in to whisper to Joey what went on with Chris. He frowned but knew neither of us could really leave the party right now, and Chris seemed like a responsible guy. Jake gave me a questioning look so I told him that Warren did me a favor and took home a drunken partygoer, and he nodded, sitting back. He was trading knowing looks with a brunette guy at another table. The guy pretended not to notice, but he was amassing beer after beer in front of him, and the more he had, the longer he locked eyes with Jake. I could tell the blonde was definitely intent on picking up.

“You could get your ass kicked in the morning,” Joey warned him.

“Nah, that one’s a classic closet case,” Jake grinned predatorily. “I’ve seen him on and off at Kelly’s enough.”

“Seriously?” my partner asked.

“Yeah. I tried to approach him once but he skittered away. So now I just sit and wait. He’ll come to me eventually.”

“Dude, he seems to be friend with my ex-best friend,” Joey scoffed. “And that guy is as big a homophobe as there ever was!”

“The bigger the ‘phobe, the deeper the closet case,” the blonde chuckled. “Anyway, I’ll bet you tonight’s the night he comes home with me.”

“But that asshole …” I began.

“You watch,” Jake smirked at me confidently. “He’ll wait for the asshole to leave before him, and I’ll hang back nearby.”

I shrugged and waited the night out. Sure enough, two hours later, Evil-Chris left, tossing me an extra glare for good measure for his Serena-treat. And the guy at his table? He watched him leave then searched the room with tipsy, wondering eyes. They landed on Jake who positioned himself five feet away, smiling salaciously. The guy swallowed visibly but when Jake approached him, he didn’t slink away. Next thing I knew, he was wrapped around Jake making out like they’d known each other for ages. I shook my head and looked at Joey who shrugged.

“I pegged Jake for a player as soon as he sat down.”

“I guess,” I sighed. “I just hope his friend Warren isn’t like him.”

“Me too,” Joey nodded. “Chris is too vulnerable for man-eaters like them right now.”

We then set about clearing the place out and cleaning up.

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We were so tired when we got home we fell into bed and immediately blacked out. I was hoping to make love before we did, but neither of our bodies complied. Still, we slept like logs and felt reenergized when we woke up. After making love in the morning, which I think may be the best time to do that, we took a shower together and Joey started making breakfast while I called Chris to check up on him.

“Hello?” Lauren answered the phone.

“Lauren?”

“Oh, hey, Kee!”

I guess she stayed over after she and Vic caroused the night away. I hope they had fun. Lauren needed a good girlfriend to pal around with.

“I was just calling to make sure Chris got home okay last night,” I said.

“He just got home now,” she chirped.

“Huh? Just now?” I asked in confusion, not at all liking the way this conversation was going. “I sent him home before midnight with someone.”

“Well, I guess he stayed with whoever you sent him home with,” she replied.

I cold feeling of dread ran down my spine and I could swear I heard sniffling in the background.

“Oh God,” I muttered.

Joey flipped the omelet he was making and gave me a quizzical look.

“Uh, Kee?” Lauren asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Who did you let take him home?”

“Warren.”

There was a second or so of silence while I assume Lauren told Victoria the name of the person I left Chris with. Then I heard Vic hiss, “Give. Me. That. Phone!” And I knew right then I’d blown it somehow last night. The sobs were getting louder and they sounded like Chris. My heart quickened and all I could think was Oh shit! What did I do?

“Kee?” Victoria demanded in a no-nonsense tone she never uses with me.

“Yeah?” I replied carefully. “I just called to make sure Chris got home okay last night. He was a little … um … drunk.”

“And from what I hear you let him go home with Warren, of all people?” she replied.

“He said they went to college together!” Kee said quickly. “And Chris said his name, so I figured he was telling the truth.”

“Oh, they went to college together! They also dated for six years and it ended less than amicably!”

“Oh my God!” I screeched. “THAT was the guy Chris is trying to get over?”

“That was him!” She sounded vengeful.

“Did he get home?” I knew the answer already, but I still couldn’t believe it.

“Just before you called, he did,” she sighed audibly into the receiver. “Kee, I don’t know what happened to him last night, but he’s having a breakdown right now.”

“Son of a bitch!” I lost it. “I’ll be right over!”

“I don’t know if …” Fuck that noise! I inadvertently helped that asshole do whatever he did to Chris! I needed to see him for myself!

“I’m coming over!” I said, leaving no room for argument, and before she could say anything else, I hung up.

“What happened?” Joey asked.

“I fucked up, that’s what happened!” I snarled.

“How?”

“Warren didn’t take Chris home last night,” I said. At his stricken expression, I elaborated. “You know that guy Chris was feeling guilty about?” He nodded. “Well, guess who!”

“What?!” he boomed.

“I know!” I said as I got my shoes on. “Now Vic says Chris is having a nervous breakdown. I need to get there and apologize to him. And find out what that fucker did so I can castrate him!”

“I’m coming, too!” he insisted.

“I was hoping you would,” I sighed. “Vic might just castrate me before I see Chris.”