Snowfall

I had years and years to rage at God for his part in my misery and just as long to hate myself but Father Michael demanded my immediate attention. He became the object at the end of my fury. I felt that it might be appeased with his death. There was no subtlity in my approach, I was past caring about what the townsfolk would think of me. I had finally become the monster that my kind were accused of being.
I walked through the Abbey, and surprisingly few people saw me, those that did I knocked to the side or ignored all together. I wanted only one man. Coming to the door of his cell filled me with a moment\'s hesitation. How many times had I stood outside this very door? I expected to open it and find Father John there waiting on me. The memories only made me more angry, this man was defiling my past by being here in this place that I called a home so long ago.
I pushed open the door roughly and found him startled from his peaceful sleep. Somehow that fueled the flame of fury even higher, how could he sleep soundly knowing he had imprisioned a woman to call attention to himself? I reached for him and threw him over my shoulder and walked back out of the Abbey.
No one remembered me, it had been several generations since I had lived here in the Abbey but Heather Nachton must have spoke of her angel and his name to her jailors when they questioned her. The story I heard later said that Albin Nachton had come down from heaven to punish the priest for disbelieving his kin. They had seen a man that met the description of me, at the very least bore a sticking resemblance to the Nachtons of the area, walk straight through the Abbey and pull out the priest from his own cell. As the telling went, they were struck unmoving by this man\'s holy fierceness. Later versions had me appearing straight in the man\'s cell and then walking out with him. It was also said that I appeared in the middle of Goody Nachton\'s cell in a vision of light and took her straight to heaven. Were that all the case.. no, the truth was something far more ugly.

Father Michael struggled on my shoulder but like many clergy, he was not very fit for physical confrontation. Not that it would have done him any good if he had been more brawny. My grip was iron, he likely had bruises about his waist from it. I assure you it has not caused me any lack of sleep. I took him out into the woods outside of Heather Nachton\'s home. I tossed down the priest, taking his own cincture I tied his hands and feet together. I then set about digging a large hole. No doubt the priest was frightened before but seeing me work at an unnatural speed terrified him. He had babbled all the way to the woods about my immortal soul and the wrong of harming a man of God... now he was silent. Perhaps he understood that my immortal soul might no longer be in question or perhaps he wondered if I was truly sent from God, himself. I don\'t know what he was thinking but as I dug, he merely wimpered pitifully. When I was done and the hole was too deep for him to climb back out of, I untied his hands and feet and dumped him inside. It was then that he once again found his voice.

\"W..why?\"

\"You condemned an innocent woman, a good woman, with your words all for the sake of being noticed in the Church. Now the last person who will notice you is me but I can honestly say you\'ve got my full attention.\" I eyed him coldly. \"How does that make you feel?\"

\"She was consorting with demons. That is what I was told.\" I knew then that he never believed the stories at all. I had seen convicted men, Keenan was a convicted man, but this priest was willing to change his beliefs if it meant his life.

\"She consorted with no one. I aided her\" I watched him curiously to see how he would take this news.

\"If I had but known. If you\'re willing to testify to the Bishop that you aided Goody Nachton I will have her released. It was a terrible mistake. These villagers are sometimes superstitious people and they claimed she had made a pact with the devil to work her farm. I would normally give it no credence but..but.. the field was worked and she could not have done it.\" Despite his trembling he tried to look at me with benign patience. \"If you let me go to the jail I could have her released from this terrible tragic mistake.\"

\"Oh, she\'s been released, \"Father\" You need not concern yourself any more with her soul. Not that I believe you were concerned to begin with.\"

\"Released?\" He seemed a bit stricken, I could tell that was his one bargaining chip once I had told him why I placed him there in the first place. He would have been the only one able to order her set free and therefore perhaps he felt safe in the knowledge that I would not kill him this night. With her free already his necessity disappeared and his true plight was made clear to him.

\"Yes, Father, gone back to heaven to be with her dear husband.\" I stood up and walked a few steps away, my anger at her passing once more directed at the divine being I had once served. \"Too soon. She was taken from me, like everyone else.\"

\"My child...\" Surely he didn\'t think to console me? \"The Lord moves in mysterious ways.\"

I could listen no longer; I turned and jumped down into the pit with him. \"Does he? It seems predictable to me.\" I picked the man up under his jaw and raised him over my head, watching him struggle in my grasp. \" I care for them and he takes them away. My parents, Winefride, Amar, my brother, Father John, and now Heather. Shall I care for you priest and see what happens?\" I dropped him again and jumped back out of the pit. \"You\'ve nothing fear there, Father, I could care more for a mad wolf.\"

He was silent for a long time, kneeling where I had left him, holding his throat. Eventually he looked up at me and asked simply. \"Have mercy.\"

I would like to tell you that I did, that I climbed down and pulled him from the hole I had dug and told him to go back to the Abbey and \"sin no more\" but I was not so kind. I left him there, not even wanting to drink his blood. I left him as he left Heather Nachton. I would also like to say that it appeased my anger but it did not. It only left me feeling empty. A hollow victory over a puny weasel of a man. It did nothing to gain back for me the things I desired and it took from me another piece of my humanity.

That\'s been slipping away for ages now, there\'s very little left. I walked away that night from the priest and from my family. I wandered aimlessly for years filled with anger and hate. I would like to be able to say I have nothing to regret about those times but the truth is they were wasted and worse. I could have done much good over my unnaturally long life span. That had been my intent, that night I stood and listened to Father John pray for me and Amar tell me that perhaps there was a place for us in God\'s plan. Instead I began to believe Keenan had the right of things, perhaps God made us, like a man makes a fighting dog, taking away its food and beating it to make it mean. This he did taking away everything away from us, then making us powerful and setting us loose. God\'s justice, I know many of my victims did not deserve to die and many more did. It mattered very little, what kept me moving was the feel of their fear and helplessness as I drank them dry. That very first taste of fear was a powerful thing even to the kind and gentle Albin, to this new creature it was a sweet wine. I was truly a monster.