The Gay Man's Matchmaker

Chapter 22

I was so freaking excited about this bachelor party, I could hardly wait! Between Genie and Joey, I had everything well planned for the evening. We decided not to go strip-club barhopping, like the usual trend, because I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone driving drunk. I may be a sarcastic asshole, but I’m not an idiot! So, instead, Lauren put me in touch with one of her and Tommy’s friends, Jake. He knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew some other schmuck who owned a building that used to be a strip club but that was closed for the moment. Something about a raid a while back when it had a previous owner who decided to dump the place on the cheap and bail for Florida. Who knows what that means, but the place was empty and available. So we rented it for a private party. Cool, huh?

The room was pretty big, being that the club was empty, and it was already set up for just the kind of entertainment breeder boys liked before they hitched themselves up to some poor unsuspecting female who would no doubt have the displeasure of washing their socks and jammies for the next fifty-odd years. (Oh, Lauren. How I pity thee! At least Vic was taking her out for a bachelorette party of sorts.) There were dancing poles, full-length mirrors lining all of the walls around us, and the lighting was adjustable so we could … I guess set the right hetero mood, when the girls were dancing. I’d hired four well-built dancers and one very beautiful she-male. Serena could pass for a drop-dead gorgeous 100 percent woman any day, I’d bet money on it! We even loaded confetti and streamers into the party machines in the ceiling.

The bar was stocked and we hired Scott, that cutie from Kelly’s I’d … well, had fun with in the movie theater … to mix up the drinks. Stop sweatdropping! I told Joey all about Tommy’s matchmaking disasters. He got a real kick out of how I met Genie, but he wanted to beat the shit out of Trevor. I hadn’t seen the fucker around, but maybe I’d neutered him when I beat him off me. And, though he wasn’t thrilled about my exploits with Scott, he knew we weren’t dating then and I had no interest in anyone else now, so he was fine with giving Scott the gig.

I’d invited Genie and Wendell to stay for the party since they were helping me set the place up. When they tried to beg off, I pleaded with them. Joey and Chris would be the only other queers there, and I thought if we had Genie and Wendell with us too, we wouldn’t feel so out of place ... especially Chris. He didn’t seem to make friends easily with guys, and I felt bad for him. He seemed to be a decent dude. Genie looked reluctant until I mentioned that another Chris, the ex-best-friend of my boyfriend and the bane of my existence, would also be there and I was hoping to get him back for being the tremendous douche bag that he was to me both in school and that day a few months ago when he tried to break Joey and I up. Needless to say, that deserved a retaliation of sorts. So I made sure Joey called and invited him to the party … telling him he wanted bygones to be bygones. Yeah, right! He fell for it though. Makes sense. Even in school, I don’t remember him being the sharpest tack in the box.

Anyway, there we all were, getting the place ready. Chris, the nice one, was helping Wendell and Genie hang a banner on the wall proclaiming this “King Tommy’s Last Stand.” Joey and I had just finished stocking the bar with glasses and various liquors, and Scott was changing in the bathroom. The girls were dressing, too. Serena, already in costume, glided over to us as we put the last of the beer bottles in the fridge behind the bar. She looked gorgeous in her silver stilettos and matching harem outfit. Her long, wavy platinum blonde hair was clipped up in a barrette but hung over her shoulders, down to her very ample breasts. No red-blooded male could resist her, I was sure of it.

“Are you sure you’re up for tonight?” I asked her, feeling a little guilty about putting her in any compromising situations.

“Honey, this isn’t the first straight bachelor party I’ve worked,” she laughed.

“Well, we’ll be keeping close tabs on you just to be sure no one … does anything when they find out.”

“Genie didn’t tell you?” she grinned. “I’m a second-degree black belt, Kee. No one’s going to get away with messing with me.”

Joey chuckled softly behind me and I grinned. We’d decided that Chris, the bad one, would be the recipient of her revealing lap dance. It would shock everyone, but he deserved the embarrassment even more than Tommy, who I was sure would eventually forgive me.

--------------------------------------

When the party was in full-swing and guest of honor appropriately buzzed, all of the girls made their entrances and started dancing at various poles around the room. The music turned from classic rock into the sultry tones strippers usually dance to … at least on the shows and in the movies I’ve seen. The round of cheers and hoots that followed made me glad I’d never pledged a fraternity in college. Maybe I should have started one for gay guys, though. That might have been a good idea. Oh well! Too late now. Anyway, Serena was making her way over to Evil-Chris’ table. (Joey had helpfully supplied her with pictures to make him easily identifiable. – I so love having an accomplice to help me with my schemes now! Oh, and do you know he had the nerve to glare at me on the way in? That’s right, buddy! Your karma’s catching up to you tonight!)

She gyrated and pumped her way into his lap while he and his tablemates thrust dollar bills into her bikini top. She took them out and stuck them into the waistband of her shorts while she lowered the top to reveal her surgically enhanced and bouncy bosom … which earned more cheers. But you’d think these lunkheads would get the idea that something was up. Serena was the only dancer not wearing a thong. Alcohol is a blessed thing sometimes, I guess. Anyway, she leaned her naked chest forward and invited Evil-Chris to … sample it. And he did, kissing one, and then the other. The other girls were still dancing at their poles for the time being, adding background scenery but keeping the focus on Serena for the main event.

Serena leaned in and gave Evil-Chris a few teasing pecks on the lips before leaning back when he tried to latch onto her. He pouted but she shook her head slowly and leaned back further. He ran his hands from her hips down her thighs and she leaned back in quirking an eyebrow and looking down to her shorts. Evil-Chris followed her gaze then smirked slowly and brought his hands up to the front of the shorts and undid the snap, pulling the zipper down slowly. Serena took the dollar bills out of the shorts and held the wad high above her head as she stood to let Evil-Chris slowly pull her shorts down …

And when he looked up to admire her nudity, he froze before shrieking and jumping back onto the table. The guys at his table stared in shock for a second before they all broke out into a drunken laughter. Tommy was sitting at another table and Serena’s back was to him, so he couldn’t see what the joke was. Meanwhile, Evil-Chris’ face was turning redder and redder. The DJ changed the music and “The Crying Game” blared loudly through the speakers, sending everyone but Evil-Chris into another round of hysterics. Serena kept her head held high and gyrated to the music. Evil-Chris started shouting at her to back away from him, threatening to pound her into the ground. Joey laughed and pulled her back to dance with him while Evil-Chris glared at them both.

Now everyone was looking at the remaining girls suspiciously, so they dropped their things en masse and showed the crowd they were really women, causing an uproar of appreciative whoops and whistles. Evil-Chris, meanwhile, slunk back to the bar to order a few shots and get away from the catcalls. Ah, revenge. Thou art sweet! While the real girls shook their booties and entertained the breeders of the group, Serena danced for us queers at the back table. Evil-Chris finished his shots and gave us one last glare before staggering off to another table where one of the real women was dancing.

Actually, there were a couple of other queers at the party, too. Jake, the guy I mentioned earlier, came with his friend Warren, a tall dark haired guy with deep brown bedroom eyes. Jake wasn’t bad to look at either, all blonde and Nordic-looking. They made a striking looking pair as they sat with us in the back after the she-male incident went down. I saw Good-Chris’ face pale when he caught sight of them, and he moved closer to Genie and Wendell. Warren looked just as surprised to see him and stared at him while Chris looked like he wanted to find the nearest escape route. I traded curious looks with Joey as he too noted the reactions. Wonder what that’s about!