Unforgivables

(((christophers pov)))


I\'d dreamt about meeting people like me for a long time. I had thought about what I would do, what would happen, and how I would react to it. The real thing was a whole lot different and I had finally realized that as I sat at the fire staring at the other three who had been asleep for some time. I\'d always thought it would make me feel better, make me feel more secure about who I was, and I had been wrong. I felt even worse.

All this time I had been thinking that I had it horrible, that my life was bad, and I had never considered that someone else could have it worse then me. I had never thought that someone else could have ever suffered more then I had through my life. My eyes fell on Elise and I stared at him for a while. I didn\'t really know what had happened to him and I knew he would probably never tell me, but whatever it was it had made him the way he was and Elise...Elise was worse then me.

Red eyes opened and I looked away from him. Why did I have the worst timing? I mean really. When I was trying to have bad timing I had good timing and when I was trying to be nonchalaunt I had the worst timing ever. Elise sat up and turned so he was facing the fire. He was across from me directly, which made things a little more weird. I hated the tension, but even more I hated how he hated with me for no reason at all.

\"You been awake long?\" Elise asked and I jumped from the sudden noise. \"I was just asking you a question.\"

\"I know.\" I muttered softly. \"I never fell asleep.\"

Elise looked me over for a moment. I knew it was because of the way I spoke. How softly and silently my words came out. I couldn\'t help it. I didn\'t like things to be loud. \"You remind me of Tran, when I first met him.\" that interested me. \"When I first met Tran he was quiet, like you. That\'s funny to think about now. Tran being quiet. He was though. I don\'t know why he changed.\"

My eyes watched the fire burning in front of me. Of all things, I had to be like Elise. I had to have that fire burning in me. The same fire that killed my parents. \"How did your family die?\"

That seemed to catch his attention. \"What?\"

\"I asked you how your family died.\" I repeated. \"You don\'t have to tell me...if you don\'t want to...I was just wondering.\"

It was silent for a while. I was afraid that I had insulted him or asked him a question that he was not yet ready to answer. That would make things weird. I didn\'t want things to be weird. I just wanted to make things easy...but things aren\'t easy. \"They were killed in a fire.\" I looked up and Elise was staring at the small fire now too. \"When I was little. Our house burnt down one night. I think it was in January.\"

My mind came to a crashing hault. \"How old were you?\"

\"Really young.\" Elise answered. \"I met Tran four years ago, and before that I was with foster homes for two years.\" he thought a moment. \"I was ten.\"

\"Ten...\" I couldn\'t think. He\'d been ten and it had happened in January. \"When is your birthday?\"

He looked up at me. \"What does that have to do with anything?\"

\"Just tell me please.\"

Elise thought a moment. \"A week from tomorrow actually.\" he smirked. \"Seventeen should be fun.\"

That was way to fucking weird. \"I\'ll be seventeen a week from tomorrow too.\" it was his turn to look at me completely shocked. \"And my family was killed when I was ten also, during January.\" Elise looked like someone had taken out his mind, like he couldn\'t even fathom what was happening. \"We\'re not so different, you and I.\"

\"And your family...they were in a fire?\" I nodded. \"Your house burnt down?\" I nodded again. \"Oh god.\" he looked around with his eyes like he expected there to be an answer there. \"Oh my god...\"

\"It\'s strange.\" I agreed. \"What are the odds really? That both of us would have had the same thing happen to us.\" I gave him a weak smile. \"And both of us had to run away.\"

Elise shook his head and I actually got a little worried. \"This...this is really, really big information. I don\'t know if we should even be talking about this right now. We shouldn\'t, I know we shouldn\'t. And even then it doesn\'t matter. There are a lot of people in this world. You never know who you will meet. It\'s a coincidence.\"

I could only blink a few times. \"Elise are you okay?\" he shook his head again. \"I didn\'t mean to upset you. I just thought that it was interesting.\"

\"You think this is interesting?\" he hissed at me. \"We don\'t know what this means! For all we know this could be really bad! We shouldn\'t tell anyone about this! We don\'t know what could happen!\"

He sounded really upset and I didn\'t know what I had done. \"Elise I\'m sorry if I made you mad but I don\'t think that it is that big of a deal.\"

\"Just don\'t tell anyone about this okay?\" I nodded. \"You promise me that you wont tell them about this? You wont tell Tran?\"

I understood this then. He was worried about what Tran would say, about Tran leaving him. He really did love him. \"I promise not to tell them in any way, shape, or form Elise.\" it was silent for a while again. We both sat there not really moving or thinking. \"You love him a lot.\"

Elise nodded softly. \"I know...I know that Tran can\'t love me back and that is okay with me.\" I was listening intently now. Knowing Elise didn\'t open up to just anyone. \"It\'s okay because I love just being around him. Even if he can\'t love me back just being around him is okay. I don\'t know what I would do if Tran ever left me.\"

That was almost how I felt about Brian, though I knew Brian loved me back. It was almost sad to hear Elise saying things like that. Sad to hear that he would do anything for someone who wouldn\'t return his feelings. \"Elise are you just going to stay by his side until you die? Stay by someone who doesn\'t even acknowledge your feelings?\"

He looked hurt. I really hadn\'t meant to hurt him but I had to know if he was planning on staying with Tran even when Tran didn\'t care how he felt. \"Tran is wonderful about it. A while ago he didn\'t even want to hear me say it. Now he doesn\'t mind. He lets me say it when I want to and he does acknowledge it. He knows I love him and he doesn\'t say things that would hurt me.\"

\"Elise...\" I said softly but I really didn\'t know what to say after that. I wasn\'t good at giving advice or supporting people. \"Why do you love him?\"

\"Why?\" Elise repeated. \"Tran...he\'s the first person I have ever felt comfortable with. The first person who has been able to make me feel like I am really at home. I\'ve tried to be with other people before so this isn\'t some naive, childish crush. So don\'t get me wrong. I\'ve just never had someone like Tran. And no matter how many people I went out with I always went back to Tran in the end.\"

A twig snapped outside the cave and Elise and I watched as Tran was sucked into shadows. I looked at Elise who looked shocked beyond reason. \"Elise?\"

\"He was listening.\" Elise barely whispered.

I shook Brian awake and he shot up. \"Brian there is something going on outside. Tran is out there now. Can you go see what is going on?\" Brian stood and walked out of the cave. I looked back at Elise who was having what looked like a mental break down. \"Elise is it really that bad?\"

\"You don\'t understand!\" Elise snapped. \"Tran...Tran doesn\'t like it when I say that I love him. Imagine what he will do now that I have said all of that! Imagine! And he heard what we were talking about before! About how we are the same! This is really bad! He\'s going to hate me!\"

\"Elise you need to calm down. If you act weird about it then he will act weird about it.\" I told him. \"You really need to just be okay about it.\"

Someone outside screamed and Elise and I jumped up. We ran out of the cave to see Tran holding someone up by the collar. My eyes widened seeing that it was Nicholas. His eyes fell on me and I froze. What was I going to do? Nicholas would want my help, he would want me to tell Tran to let him go. What was I going to do?

\"Kit...\" Nicholas choked out and they all looked at me. What? What was I supposed to do. \"Tell him...to let me go...Kit.\"

I couldn\'t think. What if Tran let him go and he ran? What if he was actually just looking at me? What if he was just there for information? God what was I supposed to do? \"Let him go.\" I looked over shocked that Brian had said that. \"Tran let him go.\"

Tran let Nicholas go and Nicholas dropped to his feet. He looked over at me and gave me a small smiled. \"Hey there Kit.\"

\"What do you want?\" Brian asked him, clearly not amused with what was happening. \"Why are you here?\"

\"I want you to know that they are going the other way.\" Nicholas answered. \"If you keep going west then you will be in the clear but if you go east at all they will be on you.\"

\"And why should we trust you?\" Tran asked him. \"For all we know there could be other men here with you.\"

Nicholas smirked. \"If you really believed that then you would be gone already.\"

Brian glared at him. \"Get lost before you lose your chance Nicholas.\"

\"I want to talk to Christopher.\" Nicholas told us. \"Alone.\"


A/N : Well, I told you someone was going to die, and someone will. Though it isn\'t who you think and I know who you think it is. It isn\'t Nicholas, or is it, or isn\'t it? whatever will you do? Muahahahahahaha. REVIEW DAMN YOU!!! I love you all, don\'t get me wrong, BUT REVIEW DAMN IT!

- Tell me what I want to know or die...you choose.