The Demons Within Me

Author's Note: To all my fans! I thank you for sticking around for this to update. (Thank you all even if you don't review) and I would just like to say that this is the beginning of the end (I think) the story is almost at it's completion and I will be starting and completing the rest of projects I'm working on as well ^^.

On with the chapter!!

Read rate and review!!

ps. I asked one of my friends if I could use their poem (that they wrote thinking of me mind you) in my story and she said yes!! >.< tell me what you think so I can tell her please!!

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I went downstairs to see Melinda and Amanda standing at the counter drizzling the last of the mozzarella on the pizza before Amanda noticed me and smiled sweetly. It was as though she had received some news that pleased her greatly and the glint in her eye told me she wasn’t going to tell me anytime too soon. I rolled my eyes and joined them.

“So you guys decided whether or not you’re sharing a room?” Melinda asked glancing at me

“What’s a sleepover if you don’t share a room?” I asked innocently going over to the oven. “Apple pie?” I turned back to them with utter innocence on my face. I was hoping Melinda didn’t hear anything earlier.

“Yup. I didn’t know you liked apple pie more than cheesecake.” Amanda said looking shocked.

“I like Melinda’s apple pie more than cheesecake.” I admitted with a very slight blush. Melinda began moving the pizza to the table and we followed her with the plates.

“On another note, the results to the art and poetry competitions should be given in a while.” Melinda said as she was sitting down. “They said that they took this long with the results due to the quality of work that was presented.” I looked at her with hope in my eyes

“When are the results due?”

“I’m supposed to get the email tomorrow. You will be receiving the results on Monday like everyone else.” she hit my nose lightly and I scrunched up my face then pouted.

“No fair.” Amanda chuckled and touched my nose too. My face scrunched again and I grabbed her hand before she did it again. “Don’t do that!”

“Why not. It’s cute.” she teased. I used my other hand and rubbed my nose.

“It gets annoying sometimes.” I replied, as she tugged her hand away so she can get to the pizza. “So we really have to wait for the results?” Melinda smiled and nodded. I rolled my eyes and went to eating…

Amanda pushed me on the bed and turned to lock the door. I rolled on my side and tried to reach my dresser to get some massage oil from a drawer when she said.

“I want to read you something.” I looked back at her to see he still facing the locked door.

“Umm, okay.” I was feeling slightly confused now. More at her hesitation than the pronouncement. She moved to her bag and rummaged around for a bit before she got a poetry book I’d never been allowed to look in before. She kept her back to me as if she was afraid for me to see her face, and I began to move forward on the bed. “Amanda?” she took a deep breath and turned to me with a half smile on her face before she began…

“I think of you when I’m with him

Wondering if the thought of me ever flutters

Across that brilliant mind of yours.

Wondering if you’d waste the time, thinking about me

The way I think about you.

But I shake the thought of you

From my mind.

The thought of the way your lips curls in a perfect secret.

The thought of how soft you skin feels Against my fingers, when

I accidentally bumped into you

Causing you to fall in fits of cute giggles,

Because you saw how sorry I looked.

The thought of kissing that little nose of yours

Making you scrunch it, in that cute way

You do when something is not to your taste.

The thought of kissing you Ever so gently.

The thought of tracing

The outline of your beautiful face,

As you sleep beside me.

Staring into those deep, mystery filled hazel and amber eyes

That light up when you smile.

And I try to shake the thought of you

Because it immoral to love you more

Than just my best friend.

Because it is sinful to want to hold you in arms

And console you when jerks break your fragile heart

The same heart, I know I could take better care of if I only could.

But because it is wrong to want you this way, I can’t.

And it hurts when I’m with him

And not with you.

It almost disgusts me when he kisses me

And I wish it was you that I was kissing ever so passionately.

It saddens me when he hold me securely

And I want to runaway to you.

To your loving arms.

And it sinks my heart when he whispers ‘I love you’

And I am forced to mutter those very same words,

I long to tell you.

But I can’t!

And it frustrates me!

That I can’t tell you how I really feel!

Because I am trapped in a world where it expects me

To fall in with him

When I am undoubtedly falling head over heels for you!

And it’s forbidden to do so.

Because I’m trapped in a body that was not meant for me

Unable to break free,

Cursed to only love you as a friend.

To be there for you only as a friend

To hold you as a friend.

Because…You’re beautiful.

A beautiful, intelligent woman.

Every curve of your body driving me insane.

Because…I’m trapped.

As a girl.

And lovers we weren’t meant to be.” my heart was aching and my eyes were stinging by the end of it. She looked at me and bit her lower lip as though willing me to understand what I was already hoping.

“Is this…” my voice caught in my throat as I found myself moving towards her as though in a dream. “Do you…” I tried and failed again to say what I thought, what I hoped. ‘Please tell me you love me. Please tell me this isn’t a dream…’

“Sam…” her hand raised and touched my cheek. I didn’t realize we were this close. “Do you love me?” my heart stopped and my body moved on its own. My hands found their way around her neck and our bodies were flush on each other.

“How could you think anything otherwise?” I whispered, feeling a growing need within me. Her eyes locked with mine and I leaned in tenderly and placed the lightest of kisses on her lips, barely brushing the skin, while still trying to express the depth of the emotion I was feeling. Her hands dropped the book and wound their way around my back and pulled me closer, almost as though she was afraid I would pull away.

I could feel her heart beat thudding against my chest and her tongue was at my lips begging entrance. Her fingers began kneading gently into my back and my lips parted involuntarily in a moan. Her tongue slipped past my mouth and I felt a surge of electricity as, surrendering to the moment, my tongue began battling for dominance. Her hand slipped up my back and held onto my head, pulling me deeper into the kiss as she leaned back until she was pressed against the wall.

When we came up for air, we were both breathing heavily and she bit her lower lip again. My hand raised and brushed a strand of her dark hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“I love you Saige.” I looked into her eyes and saw the same emotion that had been there since I first met her, echoed and etched there. I just never had a name for it, because I didn’t understand it. Beside the worry, the fear for my safety had always been love.

“Oh Manda!!” my hands were around her neck and tears were now trickling from my eyes from the sheer emotion that was now pounding through my very being. She stroked my hair and quietly calmed me, pulling me away from her neck to look me deep in the eyes, her hands slowly caressing my cheeks as she pulled me in for another toe curling kiss. Her tenderness sent sparks along my body and I wanted nothing more than to just curl up with her now and relish the rest of our lives. “I love you so much.”