Savior

Ryuu

He stiffened and suddenly was shoving me away. I sat up, my heart beating a little too fast. Was he upset with me? He got up, took one step and promptly collapsed. I jumped up ready to help.

“Kenta! Are you alright?”

“I’m going to fucking beat you Ryuu.” I sank back in the bed at the low growl a sudden ache blossoming in my chest, my body numb. “Don’t ever wake me up like that again.”

“H-hai.” I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice. I’d fucked up big time letting my emotions get the better of me. It was just . . . I wanted to be with him, wanted to give him that kind of pleasure. Deep down I knew I’d been selfish, taking without asking. A nasty little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that it was fine, he’d enjoyed it even if he was complaining now, didn’t I deserve to get to have that kind of pleasure too? I shook my head trying to silence it. No. It was wrong of me. I should never have taken advantage of him like that. That was something Naoki would have done. Even if I’d thought he wanted it, I should have woke him first and made sure.

Kenta had got back to his feet and was wobbling in the direction of the bathroom. I felt my throat tighten. I hadn’t even made sure he was alright from yesterday. What kind of person was I? Was I really that self serving and self centered? I had to make it up to him somehow. Flinging back the covers I jumped out of the bed, following him into the bathroom. I cringed hearing him hiss in pain as he bent to start the tub. Going over to the cabinet under the sink I got a couple of washcloths. I turned back to see him looking at me, a guarded expression on his face. I looked down at the tile.

“Ken-“

“Go back to bed Ryuu.”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It was selfish of me and I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

“No I am not.”

I bit my lip hard enough there was a slight metallic tang on my tongue. I’d hurt him. My beautiful, caring, sweet Kenta and I’d hurt him. Could I be any more horrible? I was despicable, utterly and completely. I was no better than Naoki.

“Ryuu . . .” A soft sob slipped free and I desperately tried to get myself back under control. I needed to take care of him not stand around crying like some whiny bitch. “Ryuu, you didn’t hurt me, well . . . not that much. That’s not what I was talking about. Where did you hear the name Rame?”

I slowly lifted my head, afraid to meet those devastatingly beautiful eyes. That name upset him? All the more reason to know who it was then. I managed to get myself back under control. “You . . . when . . . um just before you woke up you said ‘no Rame’. It shocked me a bit.”

Those dark eyes bored into me for what seemed like an eternity before he grunted and turned away. “He was my cellmate in juvie for a while.”

“Oh . . . did he-“

“Drop it Ito.”

There was no room for discussion when he used that tone. He was not going to talk about it and nothing I said was going to change that. I nodded slowly and walking over took his arm and helped him into the tub. He sighed, his eyes closing as he laid back. I dipped the cloth in the water and gently ran it over his shoulders and chest. He twitched slightly and opened his eyes.

“Just relax. I’m sorry about what I did. It was unfair of me. I should have woke you.”

“You are fucking lucky I didn’t knock the shit out of you.”

I nodded, my eyes suddenly stinging. I quickly wiped at them hearing a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Sorry the guys must be here.”

Kenta grunted. “What time is it anyway?”

I glanced around. “Oh . . . eleven.”

“Eleven? In the morning? Fuck Ryuu, you barely let me sleep an hour.”

“Oh . . . I-I’m sorry. You can go back to bed if you want.”

Leaving him the rag I grabbed myself a pair of pants and pulled them on. He really was mad at me. There was no mistaking it. It made me feel sick, a cold ache in my stomach. I opened the door and slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. Sora was walking down the hall away from me, but turned back.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were up yet.” Sora’s smile instantly faded as he looked at me. What’s wrong?”

I looked down, not sure if I should say anything. Sora was one of my very best friends, but for the first time I didn’t want to say anything. I was simply too ashamed of what I’d done.

“Nothing, just didn’t sleep too well. Kenta just got home a little bit ago.”

“Oh, sorry for getting you up then.”

I shook my head and then had to brush the hair out of my face. “No, I needed to get up. I’m going to go get some breakfast.”


Kenta slept most of the rest of the day. Everyone was over and we were all sitting in the studio discussing how to fix one of the songs we were having trouble with. I looked up as the door opened, Kenta poking his head in.

“Hey Kenta! You woke up!” Hasu jumped up, walking over to him. “Can we spar tomorrow? I’ve got some free time.”

Kenta opened the door fully and stepped inside. His eyes flickered over to me for just a moment and then he was smiling at Hasu.

“Sorry, I gotta work.”

“Oh . . . maybe another day then.”

“Sure.” Kenta ruffled his hair affectionately and I was shocked at the stab of jealousy. What was wrong with me?

***

“Ryuu . . .”

I looked up from the laptop and pulled out my ear buds the heavy rock sound suddenly fading. I could hear Hasu and Sora playing a game in the living room, Hasu’s laughter floating into the office. Kenta looked down at me, the dark eyes impenetrable. He was biting at his bottom lip, something I’d only seen him do when he was getting ready to do something he really wasn’t happy about. My heart seemed to stutter in my chest a weight forming there.

“Yeah.”

“Umm . . .” His eyes slid away and the heavy feeling in my chest grew a little more pronounced. “I need ta talk to you.”

“Okay . . . now?”

He nodded his eyes meeting mine for a moment. “Can we go in the bedroom?”

Oh. He wanted privacy to talk to me. My throat seemed to be closing off. Was he still upset with me about this morning? Maybe he was going to break up with me. Numb I got up and followed him. I felt dizzy and on the verge of panicking. How could I have been so stupid and selfish? I stepped past him into my room, the familiar space suddenly seemed large and foreboding. I turned to him as he shut and locked the door. He took a couple of steps toward me then stopped. All I could see was unruly dark hair as he looked down. He took a deep breath the muscular chest rising and falling.

“Ryuu . . . I think something is wrong.”

“What? Wrong? What do you mean?”

He looked off to the side his teeth catching at his bottom lip again. “Um . . .” He was turning the slightest shade of pink and I suddenly realized he wasn’t in here to break up with me, he was worried about something entirely different. I stepped up to him and pulled him into my arms. He didn’t resist me and instead laid his head against my chest. My earlier worry turned into a whole different kind of panic.

“Kenta what’s wrong? Did . . . are you hurting?”

“Yeah.” I gasped and grabbing his shoulders pulled him back so I could look at him. He shook his head cutting me off. “B-but not that bad . . . it’s just . . . I keep having to go to the bathroom. Is that normal?”

He couldn’t meet my eyes as he said it and I felt a spike of pain in my chest. I was a horrible lover to have done this to him. I made up my mind that I would never ask him to bottom again. If he wanted to it was one thing, but I would never ask him to again. I couldn’t handle seeing this subdued and timid Kenta. It wasn’t him. I wanted back my brash, mouthy and belligerent Kenta, the one who made me feel secure and protected and loved. Even if it was my fault I’d done this to him.

“Kenta . . . I’m so sorry. I didn’t explain anything to you. It’s because I was impatient and didn’t use a condom this morning. It will get better I promise. I won’t ever do that again. Ever.”

“Wait . . . not use a condom or not fuck me?”

I grimaced. He had such a way with words. “I won’t have sex with you like that again and we’ll use a condom next time too.”

“Oh. Doesn’t matter to me . . . I just didn’t know what the fuck was going on. Does that happen to you too?”

“Sometimes.”

“Oh.” He nodded, his skin still tinged with pink. I pulled him back against me, kissing his head. Why did I always jump to the worst conclusions about everything? Though knowing I’d hurt him didn’t make me feel better about anything. I guess I deserved the agony of thinking he was going to leave me for doing something so stupid. I did not deserve this man by any stretch of the imagination.


Kenta

It was a week before I was able to follow up on any of the contacts Isao had given me. Only one turned out to have anything. It was not what I wanted to hear.

“Your girl . . . she was paid by a runner. The guy behind it is keeping pretty much to the shadows, but don’t think Ito will be the only one targeted.” The voice over the phone sounded like sheet metal over gravel. Too much booze and cigarettes was my guess. The hacking cough every few sentences kinda gave it away too.

“Any fucking idea on why?”

“Don’t know and don’t give a shit. Who gives a flying fuck about some dumb ass band anyway? Stupid cock suckers are probably high half the time anyway.” That’s when I decided I didn’t fucking like this shit head, informant or not.

The next name on the list found me standing outside a gay bar. I’d never been in one. Wasn’t real fucking thrilled about going into one either. I’m not gay. Er . . . okay so I fucking am. But only with Ryuu. Fucking hell this was stupid. I decided it wasn’t worth it and got back on my bike.

“Hey cutie! Aren’t you coming in?”

I jerked, tightening my chinstrap too tight and pinching myself. “Fuck.”

“Oooh sexy bike for a sexy man.” I turned to see a . . . person walking toward me, hips swaying as long eyelashes batted at me in a way that was a completely fucking disgusting. It took me several long moments to realize I was looking at an escort. A male escort. He smiled at me in a way he probably thought was sexy. Ryuu had him beat hands down and without any of the obvious effort. “Why don’t you come inside with me? I’ll show you a good time.”

“If by good time you mean I get to beat the shit out of you for the sheer fucking hell of it, then fine.”

His eyes widened and he paled, the lipstick smeared lips trembling slightly. He backed away so fast I thought he was going to fall on that barely covered ass. Teach him to solicit minors.

I shook my head and revving the bike took off. I’d look somewhere else for the info I needed. I had Yori and his gang. They might know something. They didn’t but said they’d keep their ears and eyes open. I sighed and closing my phone leaned back against my bike as I looked out at the ships slowly chugging their way toward the docks. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the boys were in danger. Serious danger from the sound of it. Who would target them and why? Maybe I should go back and talk with Isao. He seemed to have the best contacts. I shifted to get more comfortable, the heat from the engine searing through my jeans. As much as I needed the help, I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to protect Ryuu and the boys. I was their body guard. It was my responsibility. I’d already let Ryuu down so many times. I wanted to get this right. I looked down as my phone started ringing. I raised my eyebrows seeing the number. Why was she calling me?

“What?”

“You’ve got a problem.”

“Like I fucking need another one. What’s going on?”

“Obuchi made parole.”

I blinked a couple of times. “What?”

“You heard me. Keep an eye out. I might be your parole officer but I’d rather not see you get killed. He still talked about you. His parole officer said to warn you after what happened. I don’t know that he’ll do anything, but . . . just be careful Kenta.”

I suddenly felt cold, the breeze off the ocean chilling me even with the heat from the bike behind me. “Hai . . . thanks.”

“Yeah no prob. Take care of yourself kiddo.”

Hanging up I shoved the phone into my pocket and looked out over the water. I couldn’t shake this unsettled feeling like I was falling while still standing still. There was too much going on. I needed time to sit down and think. I just needed some fucking time. Why did he have to get out now? Like I didn’t already have enough going on. Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Rame was out of prison.