THERE'S NOTHING BEYOND THIS POINT

I decided to fake my own death. Yes it was a crazy idea but sometimes crazy is the

one thing that works...I think.  Anyhow I found this creepy old wino who was annoying

the fuck out of some tourists. I offered to buy him a drink but instead I whacked him

over the head with a huge rock and killed him good and dead. Then I put my old jacket and

baseball cap on him and placed him behind the wheel of my 90 Ford. After I pushed the car

off a bluff I poured liquor all over it and set it afire. It burned damned good an sure

enough the cops declared me dead. I had no friends or family that would claim me but

the sale of my old collection of Hustlers and Hitler artifacts fetched enough for the state to bury me in style.  Our of curiosity I attended my own funeral dressed like an

Islamic lady, face and everything else totally covered.  Yes it was an interesting day.

The graveside service was short and sweet but all of that is totally beside the point. To

my utter and complete amazement who should show up but Kitsumekat!!  I was completely

shocked having had no idea she had gotten out of prison and that she would even bother to

attend my funeral.

She was dressed to impress with skin tight pink leggings, a red tanktop, a purple wig, and

a cool little black leather jacket. As always she chain smoked during the service. I

thought she was crying but truth is her allergies always went nuts outdoors. I went up

to her and asked for a smoke, using my best girly voice of course. She said "fuck off."

"Did you know him well?" I asked. (again, using my best girly voice.)

"He was just some asshole I used to buy dope from. Once or twice I fucked him for it..

that's about the whole of it...who the fuck are you? I had no idea the dude was Islamic."

"OH, Im only his ex wife...we broke up years ago...are you the girl called Kitsumekat?

He talked about you a lot, even during sex, that's partly why we broke up. That and he

used to accuse my family of stealing his beer and weed."

Kitsumekat scrunched up her divine little nose and looked thoughtful. I guess he wasn't

such a bad sort. He took me places, mostly shitty  places, but still he got me out of

the house of off the streets from time to time. He had a nice cock too, I think he did

anyhow...I've seen so many I get confused. You know how it is."

"Not really," I replied. "It was VERY large though."

"I think it was after thinking on it," Kitsumekat replied. "I never would have fucked him

a second time if it wasn't. It's the least a girl can require you know."

"Would you like a ride home, I suppose you rode the bus out here?"

"You aren't a lesbian or cross dresser are you?" Kitsumekat asked as she lit another

smoke.

"No," I lied. We loaded up in my car and took off. We were nearly at her old apartment

when Kitsumekat gave me the hard eye..."How the fuck did you know where I lived, I ain't

said shit since I got in here."

I decided to expose my prank and go with the truth. I pulled up my long skirt and as I

was naked underneath my semi boner was waving in the wind...the windows were down.

"See anything familiar," I asked.

"Yeah, why the fuck are you talking like a guy now?"

"Cause women don't have dicks darling."

I could tell the wheels were totally turning in Kitsumekat's brain. She didn't quite

get it yet tho.  "Are you a weirdo or something?" she asked.

"Yes," I said and pointed to my rock hard Johnson. "Why don't you give that thing some

attention baby cakes?"

Kitsumekat's eyes flew open wide..."Only one person ever called me that," she gasped.

I ripped off the berka and laughed like an idiot. Then I had to pull over cause she

had leaped into my lap and started kissing me like mad. She was wearing no panties and

soon she was using my dick for a pogo stick. It was some of the best sex we ever had.

"I never fucked a dead guy before...its damned good."

"Its good for me to baby," I whispered in her ear just before one of her huge earrings

almost put my eye out. After a long screw we smoked some primo weed I had and drank a

fifth of Jack that I kept stashed under the seat.

"So why did you fake your death?" She finally asked as she relished the afterglow.

"Cause my life sucks and I wanted to start all over with a new name and new location

somewhere."

Kitsumekat turned to me and smiled. "You are the biggest loser I ever met but it hurt

when I heard you had died.  It was in the papers. I had to come and see you one more

time but they closed the casket."

"That's cause I was badly burned."

"OH."

After we got high we had sex again...it was even better second time. I took her to

a pizza place and we ate cause great sex leads to great hunger. Things went a little

downhill after that I guess. I recalled how we didn't really have a lot in common other

that a shared interest in sex, drugs, rock and roll, and having bodily functions outdoors.

Finally she asked me to drop her off in the redlight district. "I have to meet a John

in a few minutes," she said.  "It was great seeing you again and thanks for the tip,

next time you got something extra coming."

My heart skipped a beat as she walked away with a cigarette in one hand and a joint in

the other and the last of the whiskey in her other hand. Don't ask me how she did it,

she is a remarkable young lady...and a damned good fuck besides. As I watched her super

cute little ass wiggle away I realized how much I still loved her.

In the following months I traveled to Mexico and Europe. I got lots of ass everywhere I

went but none could even come close to the passion that Kitsumekat aroused in me. She

has my heart forever, the damned little whore, I mean my sweet little angel.


 


Kitsumekat come to my funeral