Envy

A/N: Just a little ‘shout out’ dedication type thing for Lea! =]
And everyone else reading this and reviewing!!! Love you guys, thank you sooooooo much!!


Carnival ((FLASHBACK))


Lindsey closed her eyes, letting the smell of fresh popcorn and funnel-cake fill her senses as she held onto Paul’s hand. She honestly couldn’t believe that she was on a date with Paul -at first he didn’t want to even talk to her anymore because he figured out she was a virgin. He thought he wasn’t good enough for her, which confused Lindsey, but she was persistent and finally he broke down, kissed her on the cheek and asked if she would like to go to the carnival with him.

“My dad hates the carnival.” Lindsey said, grinning, “He doesn’t like to get popcorn on the bottom of his shoes or have some kid spill ketchup on him.”

Paul grinned, sliding his arm around Lindsey’s shoulders, “That’s half the fun.”

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a carnival kid.” Lindsey chuckled, watching some man pass them in tall stilts. She leaned into Paul more, feeing his warmth pressed against her side. He felt nice.

Paul laughed softly, “Carnival kid?” he asked, “I’m not really a carnival person but…I thought you’d like it.”

Lindsey smiled up at Paul, “Aw, I didn’t know you could be nice.” she teased.

Paul half-glared at Lindsey, a slight smirk gracing his lips, “Sometimes it happens.” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Lindsey in a hug and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He blew a raspberry on her flesh, making Lindsey giggle and try to push him away.

“Paul!” she laughed.

~*~*~

Paul lounged back against the hard surface of the Ferris wheel seat and looked over at Lindsey, who was working on a large cone of cotton candy. She was so cute, and Paul had to stop himself so many times from touching her too much, and the constant urge to kiss her neck was really overwhelming. Lindsey leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hummed happily, offering some cotton candy to him.

“Want some?” Lindsey asked, holding some in her fingers as she lifted it up towards him.

Paul smirked softly, and bent his head, his lips brushing against her fingers when he took the cotton candy out of her grasp with his mouth. “It’s good.” he said.

Lindsey blushed lightly and nodded, “You must think I’m really desperate.” she said softly, sitting up, away from Paul.

“Why would I think you’re desperate?” Paul asked, his brows drawing sharply together.

Lindsey shrugged, “You really didn’t want to take me out, but I practically begged you to. Now I’m acting like some virgin with a problem.” she said.

Paul shook his head and wrapped his arm around her again, drawing her close to him, “You went after something you wanted and you’re not afraid of me. That’s not desperate.” he said softy, “And I did want to take you out…I just,” Paul chuckled, scratching the back of his head, “I didn’t know if I was going to be able to control myself. You deserve someone who won’t be pawing at you on the first date.”

Lindsey chuckled softly, turning her head to look at Paul, “You’re not pawing at me.” she sighed softly. “I’d definitely let you know, if you were.

“Somehow I don’t doubt it.”

Lindsey bit her bottom lip, turning her head away from Paul and laughed softly, “I don’t kiss on the first date.” she informed him matter-of-factly, with a cheesy smile, even though she had never really been on a date before.

Paul chuckled, playing with the ends of her hair, “Good, because I wouldn’t want you pawing at me.”

Lindsey laughed, “You ass!” as she playfully elbowed him in the stomach.

Lindsey couldn't have asked for a more perfect date, though. Paul was acting like himself and didn’t try to impress her with cheesy stories or anything…well, except for when he tried out that one sledge-hammer type game where you had to ring the bell on the top of a twenty foot pole. He almost got it to the top, so Lindsey gave him a peck on the cheek for trying.

They walked around for a couple hours before Paul caught some guy checking out Lindsey in her short jean shorts, with an appreciative stare. Paul bit the inside of his cheek, deciding not to cause a scene and embarrass Lindsey to death. She probably would never talk to him again if he did. Poor girl, she didn’t even realize how jealous and protective Paul could be -he was always that one kid in pre-school that didn't like the other kids looking, touching or even think about taking away his toys. Enough said.

The ride home was comfortably quiet, Paul had turned his radio down low as he drove with one hand, and he had linked his fingers with Lindsey’s with the other. It was odd to Paul, he never really knew how to show affection like this before, but with Lindsey it was so natural, like he wasn’t even trying. His past ‘relationships’ were all shams -if you could even call them relationships…he’d perfected the art of sneaking out after a one-night stand, and how to not get caught when you were cheating on someone. It really wasn’t something he was proud of.

“I had a really good time.” Lindsey said quietly as they stood outside her front door. “Thank you for taking me to the carnival.”

Paul smirked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, “I had fun too.” he said quietly. “Listen…I need to tell you something.” he then sighed heavily, shaking his head, “I’m not sure how to make you believe me, or whatever, but…I really like you, and you’re an awesome girl.”

Lindsey sighed sadly, looking at her shoes, “What?” she asked softly, feeling the ‘I don’t think its going to work out’ coming on.

“I’m an asshole.” Paul said bluntly, “I’ve never been faithful, and I just…I’m an asshole.” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just thought you should know about my past with relationships…because I don’t want to screw this up too because you’re just fucking…the greatest person, honestly.”

Lindsey stared up at him, her brows drawn together, “Never been faithful?” she asked, “Wow, Paul…that’s pretty-”

“I know.” Paul cut in, groaning, “I know.” he nodded, and cupped the side of her face with one hand, “I’m not gonna to fuck you over. I want something to work between us. You just have to trust me.”

Lindsey sighed softly, then turned away, unlocking her front door and looked back at Paul with saddened eyes, “Paul Harlow, you break my heart and I swear to god, you’ll never see me again.” she said softly, “You better not fuck me over.”

“I wont, Linds, I promise.” Paul said lowly, reaching out to touch her shoulder, “Cross my heart.”

Lindsey smiled softly and nodded, “Goodnight, Paul.” she breathed, and shut the door.



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