The House that I Grew up In

It was early, just past dawn, but Julia had been awake for awhile. Her body had no clue what was day and what was night; it would take some time to overcome the jet lag. She didn’t mind, however, as she looked down into the sleeping face of her only child.

In truth, Annabelle looked much like Julia. They had the same heart-shaped face, same auburn hair and dark eyes, same tall but slim frame. But every time, since her birth, that Julia had looked at Annabelle, she could clearly also see Scott. In the perfect bow of her upper lip, and the straight lines of her eyebrows, and even in the freckles crossing over her shoulders…

Each time Julia looked at Annabelle, she could see the signs of her late husband. Unlike some widows, she had never resented those resemblances. She had appreciated the idea that Scott always had some influence on their only child, even if he couldn’t be there. But this morning, it was just slightly different.

After Julia had arrived last night – after saying hellos to Christy’s family and settling in – she had spent much of the night in the guest room with Annabelle, just listening to her daughter. But, more than that, she had been observing her, comparing what parts of her were Julia, what parts were Scott, and what parts were purely Annabelle.

And despite what her daughter may have thought, Julia was most amazed by the purely Annabelle parts.

When Julia had originally made arrangements for that summer, she had assumed that Annabelle would simply hang out with old friends – go to parties, eat out, site-see. She hadn’t imagined that so much would come out in the open about Christy’s past – or, of course, that Annabelle would face any danger. If she had known what might happen, she never would have sent her daughter back to Long Island.

But after hearing Annabelle talking the previous night, Julia was glad her daughter had spent the summer there. Not because of all she had gone through – any good mother would want to shield her only daughter from such misery – but because it let Annabelle know how strong she was.

Since Annabelle was young, Julia had seen her potential. Before any discussions of right or wrong were appropriate, Annabelle made moral decisions, always helping those weaker than her, or those in a difficult situation. But this summer had been a completely new and unexpected situation of circumstances…

First of all, Julia and Annabelle had no idea how much their old neighborhood had changed, as well as their old neighbors. Secondly, they had no clue what had happened to Christy. And finally, neither had expected Annabelle to fall in love.

Looking at Annabelle’s sleeping form beside her, it was both difficult and easy for Julia to face the reality that her daughter had finally reached adulthood. Difficult because, when Annabelle had left her, she had never so much as discussed having a crush on a boy. Easy because, observing her daughter’s quiet beauty, it was clear how quickly many boys in the “normal” suburban world would try to win her favor. Her daughter, aside from being a knockout, was the kindest, gentlest, most giving person Julia had ever met, besides Scott… or possibly Ewan.

As sunlight teased along her skin, Annabelle stretched out, but it was the weight of her mother’s stare that finally woke her. Smiling up at Julia, Annabelle blinked a few times before allowing herself to focus fully. “This isn’t a dream,” she murmured happily, moving towards her mother’s embrace knowingly. “You’re really here, Julia.”

“I am, My Belle,” Julia held Annabelle close to her, her eyes filling with tears. “I wish I had been here earlier; I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this alone.”

Her eyes rising to meet her mother’s own gaze, Annabelle was now fully awake. “I’m fine, Julia,” she said simply to her mother, smiling softly. “Nothing so bad happened. More that happened this summer was good than bad – much more.”

The night before, Annabelle and Julia had talked for a long time about her summer in Long Island. They had discussed Christy and Josh, Katy and Forest, and of course two of the most influential players in the story – The Wiz and Quinn.

Like Annabelle, Julia had no sympathy for The Wiz, knowing how he had treated Christy and guessing his intentions towards Annabelle. But also like Annabelle, Julia was simply glad that her daughter was okay and hoped they could work to make sure The Wiz couldn’t hurt anyone else, at least for a long time.

Perhaps it should have bothered her more, Julia thought as she pushed Annabelle’s auburn hair from her face as the girl slowly woke up. If it had bothered Annabelle more, it would have bothered Julia more, she was sure.

But Annabelle was okay about what had happened with The Wiz. She felt lucky that she hadn’t been violated in any real way; she was glad the situation had led to reconciliations between Christy, her parents, Katy, and Josh. But mostly she was incredibly proud at the amount of self-control that Quinn had showed, all because he had considered her feelings.

Burying her head against her mother’s hip, Annabelle tried to feel content. She now had all she wanted – Christy’s honesty, Katy and Josh’s friendships, Quinn’s love, and Julia’s safe return. Yet she still felt uncomfortable with the situation she was in.

As if reading her daughter’s mind, Julia spoke softly. “Despite all the bad things that happened – or nearly happened – this summer,” she ran her hand through Annabelle’s soft hair. “You’re glad you came here, aren’t you? If just to help Christy find herself again… and to meet Quinn.”

It felt so good for Annabelle to rest her head in her mother’s lap, but at this moment, it also felt not quite right. If she was going to talk about Quinn, her honest feelings for him and the relationship they had forged, she couldn’t be a little girl in her mother’s lap. Sitting up slowly, she took Julia’s hand in her own.

“I never expected this summer to turn out the way it did,” Annabelle reiterated her words from the night before to her mother. “But I’m not sorry for any of it… not anything. For things that happened before I got here? Yes… I wish Christy had never gone through any of it, and that Katy hadn’t lost a good friend while trying to be a good friend, and that Quinn hadn’t felt so alone for so long… But we couldn’t have predicted all that. I’m just glad I was here to aid in the reconstruction. Even though,” she paused suddenly, catching her breath as she smiled at her mother, “if you could have been here through all of it, it would have been much better.”

Pulling her daughter close, Julia didn’t speak for a moment. Mostly, she wasn’t sure what to say; she had no wisdom to impart. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of this without me,” she finally told Annabelle, leaning back to look into her dark eyes. “But you did it all with such dignity and kindness. You know how proud I am of you, don’t you?”

“I do,” Annabelle smiled and answered immediately. Her smile faltered momentarily, though. “Oh, and I hope you don’t think I have any animosity for you not being here. I’m so proud of you, too,” she told her mother honestly. “Going over there so selflessly. And it must have been lonely…”

Biting her lip, Julia paused for a moment. The night before, she hadn’t really told Annabelle much about her summer, mostly because her daughter had been telling her so much. Now, though, it felt like the right time to reveal some important facts. “I’m very glad I went there, and there are some things I need to tell you,” she began, but was suddenly cut off by a knock at the door.

Sticking her head in the doorway, Christy gave an apologetic look into the room. “Sorry if I’m interrupting,” she told the two women, seeing that they were having a serious conversation. “My mom just asked me to let you guys know that Quinn and his mom will be over for brunch in an hour.”

“Thank you, Christy,” Julia said with a smile. She paused momentarily, looking at the blond in the doorway. “Come here, honey, please. Just for a second.”

Blushing slightly, Christy entered the guest room. At Julia’s beckoning, she sat beside the older of the two women, feeling nervous but somehow nostalgically comfortable as she slid beside the two people on the bed.

“I just wanted to say,” Julia put one arm around each teen, and then took a moment to look each in the eye personally. “I am just so proud of how you two girls have turned out. Girls… listen to me! You’re young women now. And such strong, beautiful, capable creatures. I just wanted you both to know how much it means to have been part of both your lives and to have been blessed to see how well you’ve turned out so far.”

Annabelle was just smiling up at Julia, accustomed to her mother’s honesty and kindness, but Christy’s eyes filled with tears. She started to say something, but a sob caught her off guard and cut her words off. Neither Annabelle nor Julia said a word. Both women just leaned over and hugged Christy as she cried softly, holding on to them.

“I’m sorry,” Christy finally sniffled, her cheeks tinged with embarrassment, as she pulled herself together. “I just… you both… God, this is hard.” She paused, taking a deep breath. All the while, Annabelle and Julia waited patiently, a matching expression of compassion on their faces. “I’m just so glad you are both back in my life. For so long, I felt like I’d never be able to be my true self again. But with you both here… the girl I’ve been – Christine – she just feels like, I don’t know, a bad dream.”

Annabelle had many thoughts that she wanted to express, but as she saw Julia lift her hand to cradle Christy’s cheek in a motherly fashion, she held back, knowing her mother would be able to say it all. “You have no reason to be ashamed of who you have been – Christine, as you call her,” she said quietly, forcing the blond teen to meet her eyes. “That girl – you – went through some terrible things, yet through it all she came out. Stronger than most. And just remember, you learned to fall in love – with, from what Annabelle tells me, is a very nice boy – all while taking this all on yourself. You have a resiliency most women twice your age would envy. That’s why I’m so pleased to know you, Christy.”

Instead of crying this time, Christy gave a small smile to Julia. “I did ok, huh?” she asked, as if she wasn’t entirely sure of the response she would receive.

This time, Annabelle reached over her mother and took Christy’s hand, waiting until her friend met her gaze. “You did brilliantly,” she squeezed the girl’s fingers and smiled proudly.

Christy didn’t say anything for a moment, but she also didn’t pull away. She just looked between Julia and Annabelle for a moment, as if taking in their words. Finally, she gave them a watery but sincere smile and nodded her head. “Thank you,” she said softly. Standing up, she headed towards the door. “I’ll see you both at brunch.”

After Christy left the room, both Annabelle and Julia were quiet for a moment, contemplating things. Annabelle finally broke the silence. “Were you going to say something, before Christy came in?” she asked her mother.

Biting her lip, Julia paused briefly. “Nothing that can’t wait,” she told Annabelle with a smile. “Why don’t you take a shower first? I still have to sort through my suitcase. I packed everything in such a rush, I don’t even know what I thought to bring.”

Rising from the bed, Annabelle shook her head. “I’m sorry that you were so worried,” she told her mother. “And that you had to rush back. But it is wonderful to see you, Julia.”

“You, as well, My Belle,” Julia’s throat tightened as she watched her daughter gather some clothes from the drawers and head out of the room.

There was still so much to tell Annabelle, Julia thought. But the important things – reaffirming their love and trust – had already been shared. The rest could wait a bit longer.


“She’s as great as you said she would be,” Quinn told Annabelle after brunch, after they had politely dismissed themselves for a few minutes alone on Christy’s front porch. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he looked a bit sad but his smile was genuine. “I’m not surprised, though. The way my mom loves her… the way Katy and Christy talked about her…” Leaning in a bit further, he kissed Annabelle’s forehead softly. “But mostly, the way you are. You’re so much like her.”

Leaning into Quinn’s embrace, Annabelle took a deep breath but said nothing. Brunch had been wonderful. There had been a few more tears than expected – mostly from Christy’s mother and father, who were still coming to terms with both what their daughter had been through and how blind they had been to it all, focusing instead on their social status and financial growth. But it had had been a welcome reconciliation between parents and daughter, as well as a long-awaited reconnection between Karen and Julia.

And as awkward as Quinn had felt entering the house, knowing that Annabelle had never held back anything from her mother about their relationship, he couldn’t help but appreciate how kind and welcoming the woman – who looked like she could be Annabelle’s older sister, to be honest – was to him. It was very clear where his girlfriend’s heart had come from.

His girlfriend.

This was what was truly upsetting Quinn. Because, as much as he liked Julia, he resented her presence. Unfairly, he was consciously aware of that – and would never let the feelings progress anywhere real. But Julia being there, in Long Island, on Charm Lane, in Christy’s house… it meant his days with Annabelle – who he’d only recently realized was truly his first girlfriend, or the first one that truly mattered, at least – were coming to an end.

“Don’t do this, please,” Annabelle whispered into Quinn’s chest, without bitterness. Her voice was just sad as she took in the scent of Quinn’s shirt and let out a sigh.

“Do what?” Quinn asked, but immediately felt like a jerk. He knew what she meant, and she knew that he knew. It was as closed to lying to her as he had gotten since the beginning of summer. “I’m sorry,” he immediately followed his question, pulling her closer. “I know you meant. It’s just really hard, to know you’re leaving.”

“I was always leaving,” Annabelle pulled back enough to look up into Quinn’s face and give him a sad smile. “It’s just a few weeks sooner…”

Biting his lip, Quinn wanted to give Annabelle a retort, but couldn’t. She was right; they knew this – whatever it was between them – was going to end soon. Still, he had been looking forward to those last few weeks… any extra day he could spend with her… as a momentary hiatus. A pause, a lull, a few more hours to be together.

“I should go in,” Annabelle motioned towards the front door and then looked back up at Quinn, her eyes soft but clear. “Besides, the four of us are having dinner tonight. I might know, you know, more definite plans by then.”

Quinn nodded, but didn’t move away at first. Instead, he placed one hand on Annabelle’s shoulder, and used the other to swipe a loose strand of hair from her face, tracing his fingers over her cheek. “Whatever happens,” he gave the girl before him a small, resigned smile. “Whenever you end up leaving, and whether or not we stay in touch, I just want you to know that right here, right now, you are the most important person in my life, and I love you with all my heart.”

“Of course we’ll stay in touch-” Annabelle began to protest, but she was cut off. Instead, Quinn dropped his mouth to hers, swallowing her objection, kissing her with strength and passion. Annabelle wanted to pull away, to tell Quinn that she had every intention of keeping in contact with him, but just then he let a soft, sad whimper flow over her lips. So, instead, she pressed against him, kissing him deeply.

Their mouths pressed together tenderly, their lips pulling apart for just milliseconds before coming back together. Both of Annabelle’s arms entwined around Quinn’s waist, and his hand gently drew lines over her cheekbone and jaw. Their tongues barely pressed against the other, only sliding softly here and there. And, as the kiss ended, with one final soft press of lips, Annabelle opened her eyes and saw Quinn’s eyes, filled with despair.

“We’ll make this work,” Annabelle whispered.

“Sure we will,” Quinn lied openly, without regret, wanting to spare Annabelle any of the sure pain that was clenching at his heart at that moment.


Watching Julia and Karen at dinner together had almost been like watching long-lost sisters reunited. They laughed, and hugged, and talked about old times, and – just a couple times – got teared up. It filled Annabelle with such joy to see two women who meant so much to her feeling so close to one another.

“I’m sorry, kids,” Julia turned towards Quinn and Annabelle after she and Karen had shared yet another story from the past. “We’ve spent most of the night talking to each other. And I want a chance to know you better, Quinn.”

The kind, open, honest smile on Julia’s face made Quinn blush immediately. After all, this was his girlfriend’s mother –and she knew ALL about their relationship. Normally, this would be the sort of situation where he’d want to climb under the table and hide. But Julia’s expression was so relaxed, he forced himself to try to match the look on her face.

“There’s not much to tell,” Quinn replied awkwardly with a shrug, looking over towards Annabelle for a moment, before turning back to Julia. “I mean, I guess there’s a lot… mostly bad… but I think Annabelle and my mom filled you in on all that already.”

Studying Quinn’s nervous, embarrassed expression for a moment, Julia smiled. From the moment she had met him, she could see exactly what her daughter had been telling her about all summer over the phone – about his fear of close relationships, about his desire to rebel, and especially about the pure heart that lay behind the façade he tried to create. He was a good person, Julia could see, and she was glad that this was the first boy to ever win his daughter’s heart. He seemed worthy.

“Your mother and my daughter both say you’re an excellent artist,” Julia finally broke the silence, trying to reach a ground that may be more comfortable for Quinn. “I’ve never had an artistic bone in my body – musical, drawing, or otherwise – so, if it’s not intrusive, I’d love to see some of your work sometime.”

Glancing between Annabelle and his mother before looking back at Julia, Quinn paused. It was like it was with Annabelle, sort of. He was so used to distrusting people, but something about Julia made him believe every word she said. So he made a quick decision. “Most of my stuff is in the attic,” he told Julia. “Maybe I could show you while Annabelle and my mom get dessert?”

Every female at the table simultaneously opened their eyes in a bit of shock, but Quinn couldn’t blame them. After all, he rarely opened up to anyone. He was now inviting someone he’d known less than twenty-four hours to see his artwork. But what Annabelle and Karen didn’t know was what he wanted to show Annabelle.

“That sounds great,” Karen was finally the first to speak. Annabelle and Julia looked over at her, a bit shocked still, but immediately caught themselves.

“Of course,” Annabelle gave Quinn an encouraging smile as she rose and began gathering the dinner plates. “Karen and I will get dessert ready. You and Julia go upstairs. We’ll be here when you’re done.”

Annabelle had been looking straight into Quinn’s eyes as she said those few simple words, but the feelings she expressed with that look meant so much more. She was thanking him for letting Julia into his life, and she was also simply saying that she loved him.

As Julia silently followed Quinn towards the staircase, Karen looked over the table at Annabelle, who was stacking plates. “I told you that you’re just like her,” she whispered, her eyes glassed over as the teen met her gaze. “It took years for him to trust anyone before you came, but I knew you’d be different. Because you’re so like Julia. And now, look. He’s already…”

Walking around the table, Annabelle took Karen into her arms before the woman began to cry. They held each other close. “I will miss Quinn so much when I go,” Annabelle told Karen with a tight voice, not letting go of her embrace. “But I will miss you, too. You, and this house, and all the wonderful memories I had… and all the wonderful memories we’ve made. All of us, here.”


Julia had silently followed Quinn up the staircase of the attic, and had gasped – just as Annabelle had, earlier that summer – when he turned on the light and revealed the dozens of drawings filling the room. “Quinn,” she began simply, but couldn’t even finish. She just placed one hand on her chest and took a deep breath as her eyes began to wander over the canvases.

It was hard for Quinn to stand by silently as Julia walked from drawing to drawing, pausing for a moment in front of each one, taking them in completely, before moving on. And at exactly the right moment, she stopped, looking from one drawing she had been studying to another.

Looking between the two canvases, she took in the details. Before moving on, Julia looked over her shoulder at Quinn, her eyes moist. “This is when you met Annabelle,” she said softly. “Between these two pictures.”

There was no question that Quinn was taken aback by Julia’s insight. After all, the two canvasses were both of Jason, both done in chalk, both… hell, both from the same day in his memory. “How did you know?” he asked softly.

Biting her lip, Julia’s eyes moved from one drawing to the other and back, and then finally over to Quinn again. “Because your friend – Jason, Annabelle said his name was?” Quinn nodded silently, still confused. “Because these… are obviously the same picture. Same day, same time, same experience. But this one,” she pointed at the first of the two. “There’s so much negative emotion – anger, pity, resentment. But this one,” she then turned to the other. “This… this is how you truly remember him. Sad, nervous, wanting to fit in. But good – good, and kind, and genuine. Wow, Quinn. You’re really… really talented.”

Tears were welling in Quinn’s eyes, but he refused to let Annabelle’s mother see them, so he turned and roughly wiped them away. Taking in a deep breath, trying to ignore the fact that he had to sniffle to do so, he turned to meet Julia’s eyes. “Annabelle’s changed me a lot,” he said softly. “She changed how I see myself, and how I see the world. And the reason I asked you to come up here alone…”

Walking to the end of the line of canvases, Quinn put his hand over a tarp that lay over the final picture. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Julia. “I said to Annabelle today that I felt guilty that I was unhappy that you were here,” he was shocked by his own honestly, but pushed on. “Because it meant Annabelle was leaving sooner than I thought. But after meeting you… well, now I can’t resent you. Because you made her Annabelle. And… and I love Annabelle.”

Pulling the cloth from the canvas, Quinn looked over towards the wall, not even letting himself glance at the picture, let alone Julia’s reaction. He had spent the whole night before finishing it, and he had barely looked at it since he finished it.

Quinn was surprised that he didn’t hear Julia speak at first, or even move. So, after a minute of waiting that seemed excruciatingly longer than it was, he finally looked over. Annabelle’s mother, to his surprise, had her hand over her mouth, silent tears running down her face. She was examining the picture of a sleeping Annabelle. And while Quinn was proud of the drawing, he was fairly sure it didn’t deserve this kind of response.

“Are… are you ok?” Quinn asked nervously, and Julia looked over at him slowly, as if it was difficult for her to pull her eyes from the canvas.

Taking a deep but shaky breath, Julia let out a little chuckle. “I’m sorry, Quinn,” she said softly, relaxing the boy. “It’s just… it’s so obvious, in this drawing, how much you love my daughter.”

Blushing deeply, Quinn couldn’t meet Julia’s eyes. “I do,” he admitted to the floor. “I love Annabelle more than anything. And it’s so hard to know she’s leaving.”

There was silence for so long, Quinn finally lost his patience and looked up towards Julia. To his surprise, she was smiling widely, no tears in her eyes. “Well, I may have some good news for you,” Julia motioned towards a small bench and both she and Quinn sat, his expression confused. “Well, I intended to tell Annabelle this first, of course, but I’m not positive how she’ll take the news. And now that I know how much you love her, and I believe I can trust you to help her if it bothers her, maybe I should tell you first…”

“Tell me what?”