Forever Ignored

I'm not going to babble about nothing here now, just thank you all for reading and I hope I won't disappoint you with this story. So many people have stuck with me through my dry spell that I would hate to disappoint you guys!

Traxie

 

Chapter 19

 

 

Four hours later I found myself laying on the ground, next to a fire. We hadn't made it to the farm and the fault was all mine. I had tried my honest best, I really had, but in the end my legs had simply folded out from under me and there hadn't been an ounce of energy left in me to get up. The other's hadn't been happy to have me slow them down in the first place and when they saw that I was going to have to be carried for the rest of the way, they had told Vasco to deal with me before walking off without a backwards glance.

My eyes drifted from the fire in front of me to the side where I knew Vasco sat in the darkness, just out of my eyesight. He wasn't happy either. He could have reached the farm tonight if not for me. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be spending the night in the forest either, to be honest; the dark forest around us terrified me to the core. I knew it wasn't safe to be spending the night in the forest and the darkness scared me just as much as it had when I had been a kid. I remembered the nights spent in this same forest when I had been kicked out of the orphanage. It had been scary then and it was scary still.

I felt achy and sore after laying in the same position for too long and decided I needed to sit up for a moment. I sat up slowly in the warm glow of the fire, my eyes on the overwelming darkness around us. It was oppressing. A branch snapped loudly somewhere in the forest and my heart jolted in fear. I shifted onto my knees and crawled around the fire on all fours. Vasco's eyes never left the fire he was staring at with a set face and I hesitated when I sat down just out of arm's reach from him.

”I'm sorry.” I mumbled when I turned my own eyes to the fire, my hands fidgeting nervously.

No response from Vasco, as if he hadn't even heard me, and let my head fall forward. He was pissed off and it wasn't like I could blame him. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be spending the night in the middle of the forest.

”I'm sorry I couldn't walk fast enough.” I spoke up again when the silence felt like it was weighing a ton, and Vasco took a sip of the bottle he was dangling from his fingers. Water. I was thirsty too but felt intimidated to ask for a drink.

”It doesn't matter. If I had wanted to get to the farm tonight, we would have gotten there.” Vasco grunted back and reached for his bag. A moment later a bottle of water was dropped next to me and I glanced at Vasco hesitantly before pickig it up. Vasco turned his head slowly to look at me and I felt my belly tighten with nerves, my fingers trembling when I tried to uncap the bottle. The look on Vasco's face was dead serious and it reminded me of the time he had kept me chained up at his place.

”Do you know why you ended up in the dungeon?” Vasco took me completely by surprise with his question and I frowned, my eyes turning to the fire. Why was he bringing up the past now?

 

”Because I stole from your warehouse.” I replied quietly, nervous of the way Vasco kept looking at me, finally getting the bottle open. Water had never tasted so good and I took big gulps, the bottle half empty when I finally lowered it from my lips.

”That was one reason. But not the only one.” Vasco stated in a serious tone and I looked at him questioningly from under my messy hair. I didn't understand where he was going with this.

”How good of a friend is Mist to you?” Vasco continued and I frowned.

”We've stuck together since we got kicked out of the orphanage. We came to the city together.” I replied, not really answering the question asked.

”Would you be friends with him if you hadn't needed him to survive?” Vasco asked next and my frown deepened when I thought about Mist.

”Probably not.” I admitted quietly, remembering how it had been with Mist before I had been caught. In full honesty, if I hadn't needed the twins to stay alive, I wouldn't have stayed with them. And I was sure Mist felt the same way about me too.

”He's not really your friend.” Vasco said matter-of-factly and I threw him a glare.

”You can't say that, you don't know-”

”I don't know Mist?” Vasco interrupted me, his lips curving into am arrogant sneer. ”Oh, but I do. See, your so called 'friend', was caught thieving from us before you did.”

”What? Mist? No, he-” I stuttered while my gut clenched even tighter. This couldn't be good.

”He was. I caught him myself, shoving bisquits down his throat right there in front of the shelf. Greedy little bastard didn't even try to leave before eating.” Vasco chuckled darkly and kept his unwavering gaze on me. ”He acts tougher than he is, you know. I barely touched him and he cried like a little girl. Hell, I've met little girls tougher than him!”

”No, he would have told-” I begun, only to be cut off by snappy Vasco.

”No he wouldn't have! He's the reason you weren't let go when Seff was. Seff's crime was worse than yours, didn't you ever wonder why he was let go and you weren't?”

”I thought it was because you knew him... and because he had family to take care of.” I muttered and Vasco tilted his head to look at me, his gaze penetrating.

”You heard Robert when he told me to let you go. You didn't realize then that there was something strange going on?”

”I-” I begun but couldn't find the words after all. I didn't know what to say, what to think. I took a moment to gather my thoughts before asking in a quiet tone. ”Why did you say Mist was the reason I wasn't let go?”

”As I said, I caught him thieving. Barely touched him and he was shitting himself. He said he had a friend, a friend I could have if I let him go.” Vasco said, his eyes studying me carefully.

My world crumbled around me at his words. ”Mist said that?” I asked in a shaky voice and let my water bottle drop from my fingers.

”He sold you out to save himself. He's no real friend of yours.” Vasco said coldly and I felt tears burn in my eyes.

”You're lying.”

”Why would I lie? I have no reason to lie to you.”

”Why are you telling me this then?” I asked, my anger lifting its head.

”Because I wanted you to know the truth.”

”The truth?” I huffed and matched eyes with Vasco. ”You wanted me to know that I have to friends?”

Vasco ignored me, simply turning his gaze back to the fire. We sat in silence for a long moment before I spoke up again, my voice quieter now, softer.

”Why did you move me away from the dungeon? Why did you take me to your flat?”

”Would you have rather stayed in the dungeon?” Vasco asked in a growling tone, his dark eyes turning to glare at me. The flames dancing in his eyes made him look even more dangerous and for a moment my bravado wavered.

”No.” I whispered and reached for my water, just to distract myself from his glare. Silence fell over us again and when Vasco didn't say anything for a long time, I begun contemplating going to sleep. I was just about to lay down when Vasco suddenly spoke up again, his voice so quiet I almost didn't hear him at first.

”I found you interesting.” Vasco said and turned to look at me again, his face set in a serious mask. ”I'm very good at what I do, Colan. I'm good because I just don't care about people. Rio calls me a psycopath. I never find anyone interesting. Never.”

I fidgeted nervously under his intense gaze and didn't know what to say. It was both scary and flattering that he had found me interesting. Mostly scary. ”Why me?”

”I have no fucking clue.” Vasco huffed and picked up some sticks from the ground next to him, throwing them in the fire. ”It drove me nuts to have you around.”

”Why did you-? That time when-” I begun, thankful of the red glow of the flames when a bright blush rose to my cheeks. ”Why did you-?” I couldn't make myself say it but Vasco understood what I was trying to ask.

”Shit.” The man cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, his face scrunching up for a moment. ”I shouldn't have touched you like that. I don't know what came over me.” Vasco matched eyes with me and continued. ”It pissed me off that you were fighting me.”

”You tried to rape me.” I muttered out accusingly and Vasco threw another stick in the fire, his jaw clenched tightly. For a moment I thought that he was going to get up and walk away, maybe beat me for accusing him like that, but instead Vasco just sat still. Too still.

”We have to get going early tomorrow. Go to sleep.” He grunted finally, clearly done with the topic, and my stomach twisted when I obeyed. I should have kept my mouth shut. Blaiming Vasco for anything was only going to get me hurt again, for sure.

I fought off sleep for as long as I could, growingly nervous of what Vasco would do after I fell asleep, before finally giving up. The dark forest around us still scared me and Vasco's presence near by wasn't exactly helping things at the moment, but the day's trek had taken it's toll on me and when I fell asleep, I slept soundly through the night.

 

 

The sun had barely come over the horizon when I was woken up by a shove to the ribs. My eyes opened slowly and I stretched my achy body when I felt something against my back. I looked up and went tense when I realized that I had my back pressed up agaisnt Vasco's leg. I was sure that I had left a considerable gap between us when settling down to sleep and felt awkward waking up so close to him.

”Sorry.” I muttered when I rolled away from him and Vasco stood to kick dirt over the now extinguished fire.

”Let's go.” He simply grunted and walked off without waiting for me to even get up from the ground. I hurried after him, my legs heavy when I tried to catch up, and wished I would have had the chance to wake up properly before we started off again. I didn't get it why Vasco had to motor forward in the same speed as yesterday; surely we couldn't be that far from the farm anymore that we wouldn't make it there today even if we walked a little slower? Just a little slower?

My anxiety grew the further we walked and when I caught the first glimpse of the fields, I froze. Vasco took a moment to realize that I wasn't trailing him anymore and I couldn't meet his eyes when he turned to look at me with a frown on his face.

”Now what?” The man spat out and I swallowed thickly, shifting on my feet nervously when Vasco came closer.

”What happens when we get to the farm?” I asked in a hesitant voice and the frown on Vasco's face deepened.

”What do you mean? We came here so you could see your friends. Don't tell me you've changed you mind, because if you have, I'm punching you in the face, right now.” The man grumbled and I shook my head quickly.

”I didn't change my mind!”

”Then what?!” Vasco snapped and I looked at him hesitantly.

”What happens after I see them?”

”You do what ever the fuck you want, Brat. I don't care.” Vasco grunted and turned to continue down the path.

His answer didn't really help my anxieties but I hurried after him, not willing to be left behind.

 

 

I couldn't stop staring at the fields around us when we walked down the little road passing between them, the contrast so big to City surroundings I was used to. When we entered the farm yard, I felt bile rise to the back of my throat. I had been so excited to see Mist and Missy again but now I just felt nervous. I couldn't stop thinking about what Vasco had told me the night before. Had Mist really sold me out? Did he really detest me so much?

”Colan!” I flinched when my name was suddenly screamed out from the side and had barely time to turn my head when I was already hit with a smaller body, arms wrapping around my neck tightly. Missy squeezed me hard, her face buried against my neck and by the jitter of her shoulders I knew she was crying.

”Hey, Missy.” I greeted in a raspy voice, hugging her back. Oh, God. I hadn't thought that I would get this emotional when seeing her again but I just couldn't help it. Others appeared from the near by building and Vasco disappeared indoors when Seff walked up to us with a wide smile on his face.

”So good to see you, Colan!” The man bellowed the moment he saw me and marched up to us so he could bang his hand against my shoulder. I let go of Missy when I saw Mist, standing a few steps away from us. Maybe it was Vasco's words still rinigng in my ears but I instantly got the feeling that he wasn't all that happy to see me. Maybe he had counted on never seeing me again.

”Hi.” I greeted the other boy and Mist managed a smile.

”Hey. Didn't think we were going to be seeing you again.” Mist said and came closer, his hands in his pockets and shoulders pushed upwards awkwardly.

Missy didn't seem to notice the somewhat muted greeting from her brother and I turned my attention back to her when she grabbed my hand to pull me towards the house. She chattering excitedly about the farm and it seemed that she really liked living here. I didn't wonder why when I saw the inside of the farm house. It was clean, it was warm, and the people were smiling. Except for Vasco who had already taken a seat by the kitchen table.

I was ushered to do the same and soon a steaming hot plate of food was set before me. I thanked the older lady serving it with a quiet voice and glanced at Vasco nervously before grabbing the spoon. Vasco seemed dead set on ignoring me now that we were here and not a word was exhanged between us while we ate. Or after the meal for that matter. Vasco behaved as if I wasn't even there and I couldn't stop myself from feeling disappointed, as stupid as it was. Vasco's attention was rarely anything else but painful, yet I couldn't stop myself from wishing that those piercing dark eyes would turn to me, even just for a second.

 

 

The first few day at the farm passed in a general awe. I felt like I was caught up in a dream and had to pinch myself several times a day to reassure myself that this was really true. I couldn't comprehend how differently these people at the farm lived when there were hundreds of people starving in cities. The people at the farm weren't starving. Far from it. And apparently this was just one of the farms the City Leaders had, that was why they could keep the big warehouse in Broken City fully stocked at all times.

I had been given a few days to recuperate from the hike here before put to work. Mist woke me up early in the morning by shaking my shoulder and I got dressed slowly, still half asleep when I followed the others to the kitchen to have breakfast. After a quick breakfast of tea and eggs, we were off to work and I tried to stop myself from yawning.

I hadn't realized that there was so much that needed to be done at the farm, just to take care of the animals, and by noon felt exhausted already. Mist had barely spoken a word to me during all morning, even when he had been the one to show me the chores, and I kept throwing glances at him while working. It bothered me that he seemed so dead set on ignoring me. Was he really so disappointed to see me again? Did it mean that Vasco had really told me the truth when he had said all those things about Mist?

I had expected Vasco to return to the city right away but the man had surprised me, and apparently the others as well, by staying at the farm. I only caught glimpses of him during the days though and not a word had been said between us since our arrival at the farm. He didn't work like everyone else, completely acceptable apparently simply because of who he was, and no one seemed to know what exactly he did during the days. He kept to himself, not even socializing with the men we had started out hike with.

When the lunch bell rang, I felt ready to collapse. I followed Mist and the others off the field and towards the house where we sat on the front steps to eat a lunch of freshly baked bread and cool lemonade. I kept staring at the scenery around me, feeling completely out of place here. I felt like I was in a dream. Surely this couldn't be true? My eyes shifted to Mist and the others, chatting and joking casually over their meals. To see Mist's eyes light up and his face turned in a wide smile made me realize that he was already more of a friend with the people at the farm that he was with me. I couldn't deny it didn't hurt to realize this. Despite the exhaustion, it was a relief when we returned to our chores after the short break. At least while I worked, I didn't have to watch Mist laughing and joking with his new friends.

When the long first day of work came to an end, I was tired to the bone and felt like I could have eaten a small horse once I finally got to sit down for dinner that evening. Missy and Seff sat next to me, both in good humor, and I tried to smile for their sakes. I didn't want to tell them how out of place I felt here, knowing that they just wouldn't understand. How could they have when I didn't understand it myself? How could I not like it here when I had everything I had dreamed of for my entire life; food, warmth and safety? It was absurd. This was the dream! Only at the moment it felt like one of those dreams that started off nice and then turned to a nightmare that left you so shaken up afterwards, you couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

There was one thing I liked about the farm though. I had never slept better than in the small bedroom I shared with three others. Maybe it was the proper meals or the fresh air, but I never had trouble falling asleep at night. So, when I went to bed that night, I had no trouble falling asleep.