The House that I Grew up In

After Quinn had helped Annabelle into bed that morning once they had returned from the hospital, she had been surprised at how tired she felt. She guessed that the sleep she had gotten while drugged actually hadn’t been ‘peaceful,’ and despite the fact that she was concerned about Christy’s whereabouts, her body needed to rest. Besides, she believed in her heart that Quinn would find her friend, and would know what to say.

By the time Annabelle awoke from her nap, she felt quite a bit more rested. She opened her eyes and began sitting up when a voice in the room caught her by surprise and made her jump.

“Hey,” Quinn said gently, leaning towards the bed from a seat next to it and sliding his hand over Annabelle’s cheek. “You’re awake. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. So, how are you feeling?”

Blinking a few times, Annabelle’s racing pulse slowed a bit as she smiled at Quinn. “You found Christy,” she murmured assuredly as she sank back into the soft pillows. It was a statement, not a question; she knew he wouldn’t be here beside her until he had found her friend. He had promised as much. “Is she okay?”

Smiling a little, Quinn slid some loose hair behind Annabelle’s ear. “She will be, I think,” he told Annabelle honestly. “She and her parents all talked for long time, and they just headed down to the police station to formally register her statement. They should be back in a couple hours.”

Glancing at the clock, Annabelle was surprised to realize she had been asleep for so long. She looked back at Quinn just in time to watch him slide something off his lap and try to slip it under the chair without her noticing. “What’s that?” she asked with a grin.

Blushing, Quinn pushed the item further under the chair and shrugged. “It’s just a drawing,” he looked supremely embarrassed, and wouldn’t quite meet Annabelle’s eyes. “After the first hour here, watching you sleep, I started itching to draw. I called and asked my mom to bring over some supplies; she was dying to check on you, anyway.”

Biting her lip, Annabelle stared wordlessly at Quinn until the silence finally became too much for him, and he looked up to meet her eyes. “You drew me?” she asked softly.

Quinn could feel his cheeks heating further. “I’ve drawn a few pictures of you this summer,” he admitted softly. “But they’ve all been from memory. This was the first time I had an opportunity to draw you while you were here, and still. You look so amazing when you’re sleeping…”

The tenderness of Quinn’s voice caused a lump to form in Annabelle’s throat. “Can I see it?” she asked hopefully.

Looking chastised, Quinn dropped his eyes. “If you don’t mind,” he reached for Annabelle’s hand. Squeezing it first, he then began running his thumb in random circles on the palm. “I kind of wanted to do some more work on it before I showed you. I had an idea hit me… it’s not like any other art I’ve done before, but I think it could be good.” He looked up, and his eyes were wet. “I sort of thought it might make a good going-away present for you, to let you know how much I’ll miss you.”

It took a moment for Annabelle to understand what Quinn was saying, but when the words finally sunk in, her own eyes filled with tears. Going-away present. I’ll miss you. “Julia’s arriving tonight,” her voice was husky with sadness as she said the words. Immediately, to compound the feeling of loss inside her, guilt also grew. “I mean, I’m so glad I’ll be seeing her…”

“I know you’ve missed her,” Quinn’s voice was soothing, trying to comfort Annabelle. He knew how close she and Julia were, and how much Annabelle had missed her mother that summer. “And it’s great she’ll be here. I’m looking forward to meeting her…”

Such opposing feelings were struggling inside Annabelle, it made her heart ache. Not only was she dealing with the contrasting emotions she had about seeing Julia but possibly losing Quinn sooner in return; she was also starting to falter in her belief that everything that had happened the night before had occurred for a greater reason. She was suddenly wishing that there had been another way for Christy to find herself again. And that thought made her feel incredibly guilty.

“Why are you crying?” Quinn asked with concern, rising from his seat and sitting beside Annabelle on the bed. “Baby, everything’s going to be okay.”

Sniffling, Annabelle placed her head on Quinn’s shoulder. “I’m just… so confused,” she told him honestly. “So much has happened so fast: meeting you, falling in love with you… re-meeting Christy, figuring out what was going on with her… missing Julia, and now suddenly wishing I didn’t have to go back so soon…” Dissolving into tears, she allowed Quinn to hold her close to his chest. “I feel so guilty.”

Letting out a surprised chuckle, Quinn looked down at Annabelle’s face. “Guilty?” he repeated with shock. “You? God, Annabelle, you haven’t done a damn thing – probably in your life, but definitely not this summer – to feel guilty about.”

“It’s not what I’ve done,” Annabelle gave Quinn a small smile from below wet lashes. “It’s how I’m feeling. I should be happy that Christy’s on the right path, and that I’m going to see Julia soon… But all I can think about is how much I’m going to miss you.”

A genuine smile spread over Quinn’s face as he shook his head in amazement. “You feel guilty because you love so many people at once that you can’t possibly be there for everyone completely?” he asked, the awe obvious in his voice. “Are you real? I mean… I didn’t mean for that to sound like that. I meant it literally: are you real? Can someone be this good?”

Before Annabelle could put up an argument against all he had just said, Quinn dropped his mouth to hers. His kisses were soft and gentle, though, as he worried how she might react after all she had been through the night before.

Quinn needn’t have worried, though. His admiring words had nearly broken Annabelle’s heart, and as soon as she felt his warm lips against hers, all she wanted was to be close to him – particularly considering how little time they might still have together.

Feeling Annabelle press her mouth to his, kissing him deeper, Quinn wrapped his arms around her. They were lying almost side by side at this point, and he let his hands run over her back slowly. He could feel her fingers sliding into the hair at the nape of his neck, and it made his skin tingle. Still, he had to ask…

“Are you sure you’re okay… with this?” Quinn pulled his mouth back from Annabelle’s eager kisses hesitantly. “After last night, and everything?”

Giving him a small smile, Annabelle rolled onto her back and used her hands to gently urge Quinn’s body to follow above her. “Quinn, last night isn’t even in my thoughts right now,” she whispered honestly, looking up into his concerned hazel eyes. “The only thing I’m thinking about right now is you… how much I love you… how much I want you…”

Feeling Annabelle’s words cause a physical ripple over his muscles, Quinn studied her face for a moment. Her eyes were clear and bright, although plainly filled with discontent; she meant exactly what she was saying to him, but there was a sorrow behind her words. “Please don’t be sad,” he said simply, without thinking.

Tears fell from Annabelle’s eyes just as she chuckled. “How do you do that?” she asked in amazement as she looked up at Quinn. “How do you know just what I’m thinking and how I feel at any moment?”

Smirking, Quinn shook his head. “It’s really not that much of a challenge,” he admitted honestly, looking down at Annabelle with admiration. “Other people work so hard to hide who they truly are, but you don’t. You’re just you, all the time.”

“Well,” Annabelle grinned genuinely up at Quinn. “In that case, if I’m so easy to read, you should be able to figure out that I want you very much right now. Sadness, confusion, whatever other feelings I have… I want to be with the man I love right here, right now.”

As usual, Annabelle was being truthful, and Quinn could see it in her dark eyes. Neither of them had to say anything else. Instead, Quinn just dropped his mouth back down to Annabelle’s and started kissing her sensitively. His lips pressed against hers gently, his tongue meeting hers playfully. They kissed for a long time, pulling back to taste each others’ jaws and skin, before silently undressing each other slowly – taking just a moment out for Quinn to find a condom in his wallet - and then climbing under the covers.

It amazed Annabelle to remember that she and Quinn had only been physically intimate a few times before this. As his bare skin pressed against hers, her breasts against his chest, their thighs intertwined, their arms around each other and their lips tasting each other… it all felt so natural, like it had always been like this. She felt his body aligning and then pushing into her, and let out a sigh of contentment as he filled her.

Using all his mental and emotional energy, Quinn tried to push away the negative feelings he had built up inside himself regarding Annabelle’s impending departure. He concentrated instead on her body below him. She was so responsive to his touches and movements. As his lips pressed against her throat, she moaned softly. While his fingers traced over her nipple, she arched her back. When he thrust into her, she met each advance with passion. Their bodies moved steadily, fluidly, progressively urging towards more pleasure, all the while in sync.

Annabelle let her hands caress the tightening muscles in Quinn’s back as he moved above her. She kissed his shoulder, his neck, his ear… whatever she could place her lips on. What truly had her attention, however, was the feeling of him between her legs. She wrapped her thighs tightly around his hips and lifted her waist from the bed to feel him fill her completely. She could see in his eyes, as they met hers, that it felt as incredible for him as it did for her.

With one hand buried in Annabelle’s hand and the other sliding up and down her side, Quinn pressed deeply into her with each thrust. Her eager anticipation for each movement… the ecstasy evident in her eyes… the feeling of her nails on his skin… it was all taking over his senses.

As Quinn slid his arms below Annabelle and pulled her body up towards his own, Annabelle began to feel lightheaded. His thrusts were strong, deep, methodical movements that filled her with pleasure. Her arms wrapped around him fully, and she raised her hips each time he drove into her, matching his body’s desire. As warmth began to spread low in her stomach, she tilted her head back and stopped moving.

Still holding Annabelle close, Quinn watched her face as he pressed into her over and over. Her eyes were closed, and she bit her lip hard. Her body raised a few last times, and then she released her lip, and let out a soft gasp. Her body tightened around his, and as he felt her pulsing, he dropped his head to the pillow and allowed himself the final release he was begging for.

As both of them tried to catch their breaths, Quinn and Annabelle held each other close. And in reflection of the bright light of frenzy and pleasure they had just felt, the dreary impending reality of their looming separation hit them even harder than it had before.

-----

Annabelle took a long, hot shower after Quinn left, hoping the heated water and steam would help clear her mind. Instead, she was left alone with her thoughts – thoughts about how wonderful being close to Quinn was, and how much she loved him… and how little time they had left together.

After drying herself off and putting on clean clothes, Annabelle walked down the hall and back into the guest room. She was surprised to find Christy there, sitting quietly on the bed and holding a long, thin book in her hands.

“Hey,” Christy looked up at Annabelle and gave the girl a nervous smile. “Hope I didn’t scare you.”

“Of course not,” Annabelle replied, smiling back at Christy. She threw her pajamas into the hamper before sitting beside her friend on the bed. “How are you doing?” she asked with genuine concern as she looked, for the first time, upon the bruises and swelling on her friend’s normally perfect face.

Looking a bit shamefaced, Christy shrugged. “I’m doing about as good as I can hope,” she shyly admitted. Looking back into her lap, she motioned at the book she held. “It’s our junior high year book, from seventh grade,” she explained to Annabelle. “It was on the shelf, and I saw it while I was waiting for you…”

Moving a little closer to Christy on the bed, Annabelle looked down and smiled at what she saw. “I forgot about that picture!” she exclaimed, pointing towards the book. “Look how young we all look! Geez, that was only five years ago.”

Suddenly, tears filled Christy’s eyes. “I can’t believe that was only five years ago,” she let out a soft sob. As Annabelle put out her arms, Christy immediately leaned into her best friend’s embrace. “Annabelle, I’m so… so sorry…”

“Ssshhh,” Annabelle wrapped Christy up in a hug, tears stinging her own eyes. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Sniffling, Christy pulled back a bit. “I have a lot to be sorry for,” she gave a small smile to Annabelle as she wiped some tears from her cheek with her palm. “So much I wish I had done differently… But don’t worry, I’m not talking about what happened to me with The… with… him.” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “Mom and I talked, and I’m definitely going to see a counselor or something about that.” Pausing, Christy reached over and took Annabelle’s hand. “What I’m really sorry for is not trusting you sooner,” she said in a strong voice.

“I don’t understand…”

“I know,” Christy gave Annabelle an admiring grin. “You don’t get how amazing you are; you wouldn’t be as amazing if you did. Vicious circle,” she laughed so hard, Annabelle laughed, although she didn’t quite understand the joke.

Seeing her friend’s confusion evident, Christy grinned again and continued, squeezing Annabelle’s hand. “What I meant is… I wanted to tell you the truth right away. Not just when summer started, but when it all first happened. But I knew you were so far away… and you and Julia were working so hard… and you had enough on your plate…”

Tears filled Annabelle’s eyes. “You are my best friend,” she told Christy softly, but with strength. “YOU are my best friend. YOU matter to me – the real you, my best friend… You matter to me more than you’ll ever know.”

“No,” Christy broke down in tears and began hugging Annabelle, but tried to continue. “No, I’m starting to understand that. At least, I’m going to try to understand that. I’m trying to find that person again, the one who wanted to tell you…”

For the next hour, the girls talked. And cried. And laughed. They discussed the past four years apart, and all their fears – and hopes. They looked at their old yearbook and reminisced about old times. And then they started talking about the lost time they hoped to make up for.

“So, Julia’s coming tonight,” Christy finally said after about an hour of talking, looking a bit nervous as she said it. “I’m really looking forward to seeing her. I’ve missed her almost as much as I’ve missed you,” she admitted to Annabelle with a small smile.

“I’ve missed her, too,” Annabelle broke into a grin as she said it. It was the truth; she loved her mother so much. And after taking a little while to rehash old memories about her time on Long Island, it was easy to remember exactly why she was so close to Julia. “It’s so hard to be far away from her.”

Taking a deep breath, Christy studied her friend. She wanted to ask what Julia’s early return meant to Annabelle’s relationship with Quinn, but she didn’t want to upset her friend. “I’m sure she’s going to love Quinn,” she said without thinking, and then wanted badly to slap herself. “I mean… what mother wouldn’t want her future Mother Theresa-style daughter dating a reformed convict?” she tried to finish with a lame joke.

The look of utter humiliation on Christy’s face made Annabelle burst out in laughter. Christy was confused, and just looked at her friend with raised eyebrows as she continued her peals of giggles.

“I’m sorry,” Annabelle finally caught her breath and started to calm down. “It’s just… just… I’ve been thinking so seriously about them meeting since I found out Julia’s coming back,” she explained to Christy. “It’s just, the way you said that… it made me realize how ridiculous my fears are. Julia IS going to love Quinn... and he’ll love her, because – like you said – everyone loves Julia.”

Christy wanted to point out that everyone loved Annabelle in the same way everyone loved Julia, when suddenly she saw her friend’s eyes fill with tears. “Oh, Belle, what’s wrong?” She threw her arms around her friend and hugged her. “Annabelle, don’t cry. What did I say wrong?”

“Nothing,” Annabelle insisted as she pulled back from a concerned-looking Christy and wiped her eyes. “I promise, you didn’t say anything wrong. I just… I’m feeling so conflicted. Seeing Julia, getting to be with her again – it’s so great. But…”

“But it means leaving Quinn?” Christy prodded gently.

Nodding, Annabelle gave the blonde a small shrug as she looked down at her hands. “I just never expected to meet someone this summer who I’d care about so much… and so quickly…”

“Yeah,” Christy put a comforting arm around Annabelle’s shoulder. “I get where you’re coming from. Quinn’s so much cooler than I thought he was… and don’t give me that ‘I told you so’ look!”

Cracking up, Annabelle hugged her best friend appreciatively. She had no way to control her inconsistent emotions, nor did she have any idea how she was going to face the prospect of leaving Quinn… but she was positive that having Christy on her way back – back to the girl Annabelle had grown up with like a sister – was as big a help as she could have hoped for.

-----

“Can’t I at least make you a sandwich?” Karen asked Quinn from the doorway of his bedroom that evening. “I could make you grilled cheese and tomato. That used to be your favorite…”

“When I was six,” Quinn snapped from his position laying back on his bed. He immediately regretted his response and looked over at his mother. “I’m so sorry,” he replied quickly. “Really, I’m so sorry, Mom. That was messed up.”

“Stop,” Karen gave Quinn a compassionate shake of the head as she took a few cautious steps into his room. Since they had lived in the house, she had barely spent any time in that bedroom with her son. Of course, her relationship with Quinn had changed dramatically that summer, for the best. All thanks to one girl… “You don’t have to apologize, Quinn,” she told him honestly as she sat down gingerly on the bed beside him. “I know you’re hurting and confused and scared right now. I won’t hold it against you, I promise.”

Watching his mother give him a sympathetic smile, Quinn reached out and squeezed her hand. “Thanks,” he replied honestly with an ashamed look on his face. “And I am sorry… It’s just that I’m so upset right now.”

Studying her handsome son’s worried expression, Karen reached over and lovingly pushed some hair off his forehead. “Because of what happened to Annabelle last night?” she ventured to ask. “Because I know it was a terrible thing, but at least nothing more happened… And Annabelle’s such a strong girl. She’ll be fine.”

Biting his lip, Quinn was embarrassed to admit that he wasn’t upset about that. “Of course, I’m pissed off about what happened… and what could have happened,” he growled the last part of his statement, but forced himself to calm down as he looked at his mother’s concerned expression. “But you’re right, Annabelle will be fine. She IS strong. And kind, and beautiful, and generous, and funny, and smart…” He swallowed hard before looking directly into his mother’s eyes. “She’s all those things, and she’s leaving… I love her, and she’s leaving.”

Karen could see that her son’s eyes were glassed over, but she knew he didn’t want her to hug him just then. Instead, she squeezed his hand hard and swallowed back her own tears for his sake. “I never thought that, at my age, I’d a seventeen year old girl to thank for making my life so much better,” she told Quinn softly. “But I do… Annabelle came into our lives like a bright flame and lit up everything. She brought back all the beauty and strength and emotion in you that I had thought was lost… and even more, she brought us back together. I understand, Quinn… and I’m so sorry how hurt you are right now. But you have to know she’s not leaving because she doesn’t love you…”

“She’s leaving because a flame can only burn so brightly,” Quinn finished his mother’s analogy sadly, “before it burns out. At least, her place in my life.”

Watching her son bite back a sob was almost too much for Karen, but she would be strong for him now – as she had been so weak before. “That’s not true,” she told Quinn forcefully, causing him to look up. “If Annabelle goes back to Mexico with Julia, that doesn’t necessarily mean the end for you two. After all, she’s coming back to the states next year for college, right? And flights between here and Mexico can’t be too expensive in the off season…”

Looking at his mother, Quinn was overwhelmed with appreciation for how hard she was trying to be there for him. “I know,” he replied softly, squeezing her hand in gratitude. “It’s just hard to imagine being apart from her… and to believe she won’t find someone better in the meantime. I mean, I’m hardly a catch for someone as amazing as her.”

“Don’t say that,” Karen retorted immediately, and from the bottom of her heart. “You, Quinn Michael, are a wonderful person, completely deserving of everything great that comes your way. That is WHY Annabelle fell in love with you.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Quinn replied despondently. “But somehow, when you compare Annabelle and me, I feel like it’s comparing a rainbow during a summer shower with… with a needed but still undesirable rain on a cold winter day.”

-----

As Annabelle stood in the waiting area of the airport later that night – the same place Christy had been just a couple months ago, waiting to meet Annabelle – with Christy’s whole family a respectful distance behind her, she managed to push all negative thoughts away for at least the moment.

“Julia!” Annabelle called out in joy as soon as she saw her mother, and all other thoughts but the delight of seeing Julia were truly pushed far from her mind as she ran to the open arms of the other woman. “Oh Julia, I’ve missed you!”

Throwing her arms around her daughter, Julia embraced Annabelle tightly, kissing her head repeatedly. “My Belle,” she cried softly as she held the girl in her arms. “I’ve missed you, too! It’s so good to finally be back with you!”

-----

THANKS AGAIN TO LOVELYL AND JOEE FOR CONTINUED SUPPORT.

TO PIKACHEESE: YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY WHEN YOU WRITE REVIEWS. THANK YOU FOR NOTING THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE THREE MAIN CHARACTERS (I WENT INTO THE STORY WITH THE IDEA OF THREE MAIN – ANNABELL, QUINN AND KRISTY, AND THREE SUPPORTING – JOSH, FOREST AND KATY). ALSO, I’LL LET YOU KNOW THAT I WANT TO START ON NOTICED AGAIN SOON. I MISS BROKEN DYNAMITE MYSELF!

TO NESL: THANKS FOR NOT THINKING I’M TOO INSANE :) I BELIEVE NOW THAT I NEED YOUR FRIENDSHIP IN ORDER TO CONTINUE WRITING!

TO GIRLFIXER: THANK YOU FOR THE EXCITEMENT ABOUT A NEW STORY FROM ME. AND YES, YOU CAN HAVE A PREVIEW. HERE GOES:

THE FIRST CUT

ETHAN JUST RETURNED HOME AFTER HIS FIRST SEMESTER AT COLLEGE. HIS BEST FRIEND DIED THE SUMMER BEFORE, AND HE FEELS LIKE HE COULD HAVE PREVENTED IT. HIS GUILT HAS OVERWHELMED HIM OVER THE PAST YEAR, BUT IT'S WORSE ONCE HE RETURNS HOME. UNLIKE HIM, HIS FRIEND'S PARENTS HAD NO ESCAPE; THEY ARE STILL IN MOURNING OVER LOSING THEIR SON. AND HIS FRIEND'S YOUNGER SISTER IS RUNNING AROUND WILD, FEELING THE LOSS OF HER BROTHER, AS WELL AS THE HURT OF BEING IGNORED BY HER PARENTS. ETHAN HAS TO FACE HIS OWN DEMONS - AND ALSO FACE THE TRUTH ABOUT HIS BEST FRIEND - IF HE CAN HELP HIMSELF, OR THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT.