And Then, They Fell in Love

“I’m really going to miss you,” Ichijouji Rika sniffed, throwing the last of Sara’s possessions into a box. The older woman had immediately volunteered to help Sara pack the moment she found her date back to the States. At first, it had made Sara nervous. She still wasn’t sure if Rika wanted her to stay, or couldn’t wait until she went home and left their lives forever.

Well, not quite forever. There was that tiny matter of a grandchild.

Fifteen minutes into packing, Rika was in tears. Together, the two women packed Sara’s life in Japan away, and the remainder of Osamu’s possessions. It was as if they were closing the lid together. Some things, Rika demanded Sara take with her, other things she asked to keep for herself. Sara knew Rika still hadn’t begun cleaning out Osamu’s bedroom. To her, it was the last little thing left of his personality on this bleak little world.

It reminded Sara of the anime she and Osamu had watched together so many months ago. Saikano: The Last Love Song on This Little Planet.

“I think we have everything,” Rika continued, ignoring the tears Sara could see welling in her eyes. “Are you parents still coming to see you home?”

Sara shook her head. “I convinced them it would be a complete waste of time and money to fly all the way to Tokyo, spend a night, and fly back with me the next morning.”

Aoi poked her head into the room, and gave them a smile. “Rika, you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you feel up to it.”

“That would be wonderful.” Rika replied, distracted. She kept her eyes on her purse. When Aoi closed the door again, she grabbed her bag and began to dig through it. “I have something for you.”

Sara watched curiously as Rika produced a small vial attached to a string. A necklace.

“Now, according to most of my family, I am probably not only damning myself but also my own child . .” Rika took a deep breath. “But since I have never believed in anything such as that, I think that this would be okay. Even if it is a bit morbid.” She closed her fingers around the vial, grabbed Sara’s hand, and pressed vial into it. “I hope that you aren’t insanely disturbed, or think that I’m nuts. . . But I thought if anyone deserved this, it was you.”

Sara pulled her hand away from Rika’s and closely examined the vial. It looked like one of the tiny necklaces she used to buy at the Renaissance Faire. Inside was a grey, powdery substance, something that reminded Sara of . .

It hit her at once. “Ashes. These are his ashes.”

“A tiny bit. Yes.”

It was single, most sweet and thoughtful thing someone had ever done for Sara in her entire life. To do something that society, but her family, would generally frown upon in order to bring Sara some sort of comfort and closure. . . Sara couldn’t stop the tears this time as they trickled down her face. Without thinking, she impulsively wrapped her arms around Rika and buried her head into her shoulder. “What am I going to do without you?”

Rika laughed humorlessly. “You have your mother.”

“Yes. And I have Aoi too. But they aren’t you.”

Rika smiled and took Sara’s face into her hands. “You will be strong. You’re going to make it through this. We all are. You’re an Ichijouji now, Sara. That’s a name that means something. Not matter what tragedy has happened to us, we’ve always managed to get through it somehow. Remember that.”

She had to tell her. It was impossible for Sara to leave Japan and not let this amazing woman know she was about to be a grandmother. She pulled away from Rika’s grasp and grabbed her wrists. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“Anything.”

Sara swallowed. “You have to swear to me that you won’t be upset with me. Even though that might be your first instinct.”

Rika’s face twisted into confusion. “Okay. . .” she said cautiously.

The best way to say this was bluntly, Sara decided. She took that course. “I’m pregnant.”

There was a moment’s silence as Rika blinked. Her eyes traveled down to Sara’s waist, and back up. She blinked again. “Pregnant?”

“Yes.”

Another moment of silence. “And it’s Osamu’s?”

Sara nodded. “Of course.” Before she could breathe, Rika had pulled her into her arms and was sobbing into her hair. It was one reaction she had totally not expected.

“I’m so glad,” Rika sobbed. “I thought I had lost every little bit of my child, and here you are telling me that at least one little piece of him still lives on.” The older woman pulled away and took Sara’s face in her hands once again. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to this family. I never saw Osamu open up to someone like he did you. You brought him out of his shell, brought him happiness . . And now his child.” Once again, Sara was back in Rika’s arms. “You must tell me when you know your due date. I want to be there. For the child’s birth.”

Sara’s head spun with all the new information. She nodded, promising Rika she would let her know immediately. Rika was appeased, and demanded Sara join them for once last dinner at the Ichijouji residence.

The dinner was quiet, unlike many of the dinner’s she’d had at the apartment. With Osamu no longer there to make jokes with his brother, or squeeze her hand under the table, there was a definite loss. Even Ken was more quiet than usual - the small boy picked at his food before finally asking if he could be excused from the dinner table. Sara watched him leave.

“He’s not taking this well, is he?”

“Ken has his moments,” Shin replied quietly. “Sometimes he’s back to normal, and jabbers away about everything. Then, it seems like it hits him once more, and he shuts down again.” Shin pinched the bridge between his eyes and nose. “This whole family is going to need some serious therapy.”

Sara had to agree.

After dinner, Sara excused herself from the table and made her way toward Osamu’s bedroom. The majority was exactly how they’d left it three weeks ago when he had moved in with her. Small papers he’d been working or writing on were left scattered across his desk. The trash hadn’t been emptied, and that one corner of his bed was still unmade. Sara’s eyes welled up once again, surprising her. She thought she had used up every ounce of liquid in her tear ducts. Apparently not.

The only thing that had changed in the room was the small shrine the Ichijouji’s had made for their son. Pictures littered the small table - those of him as a baby, as a toddler, a youth, and finally the more recent ones. Candles were lit, and cast an eerie glow over the photographs. In the middle of the table was a large, framed picture of Osamu, and in front of it, his urn.

Sara didn’t hear Rika enter the room. She came up behind Sara, startling her. “Every time I enter his room, I am torn between thinking this is beautiful, and bawling my eyes out.” She gave a sad smile. “Such a shame. . A waste. And all because one person became trigger happy.”

Yukio had turned himself in before the funeral. Based on his distracted reaction to the shooting, Sara knew it had to be him, but had harbored a deep hope that it wasn’t. Unlike American news that devoted every bit of it’s news time to their celebrities, Japanese news only focused on what was important. The last she’d heard was he was going to be brought to trial sometime in the next year. The image of Yukio being led away in handcuffs would stay with her for a very, very long time.

She stared around the room, and made mental notes of every picture, desk, and book. She wanted to remember this room for the rest of her life. Finally, she took a deep breath, and with the tears streaming down her eyes, she walked out of the Ichijouji apartment for the last time.


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Upon her permanent return to the United States, Sara found she had to re-adjust herself to American life. She didn’t eat rice with every meal anymore (unless she was cooking for herself), she didn’t use chopsticks. Japanese was no longer the common language to speak around the house. It had confused her mother the first time she asked Sara to do a favor, and Sara replied in Japanese without thinking. The language, finally, had become second nature to her. Osamu should be proud.
As the months passed, the main difference were her friends. After the events with Yukio, Sara found herself second guessing every friendship she had ever made. She no longer allowed people to be as close to her as they once were. Shannon O’Connor had invited her over multiple times, wanting a shopping buddy when Adelle wasn’t available. Sara had turned her down every time, until Shannon had finally had enough. She arrived on her doorstep one morning, and refused to take no for an answer.

“You have to get out of your house sometime,” Shannon complained. “I can’t help it that you’ve suddenly decide to become a hermit. I’m taking you out today, and we’re going to have fun!” Shannon stomped her foot and gave Sara a hard glare. “I’m not listening when you tell me no. Now get dressed.”

She left Sara no choice in the matter. Shannon stood in the doorway as Sara rushed around her room, doing her best to find anything large and clean. Something that would hide her stomach. At almost eight months, if Sara were to wear something tight, it would be undeniable that she were pregnant. She had found wearing larger clothing hid this matter quite well. Except from her sister and mother, who eyed her warily.

“You’re ganging weight.” Amanda commented one evening.

“Are you complaining? You always told me I was too skinny.”

“Yes, but it’s rapid. You’ve gained at least fifteen pounds in the last six months. That’s not healthy for you, Sara. Not unless you’re pregnant.”

Amanda had nailed the reason on the head, and was none the wiser.

Shannon was tapping her foot when Sara made it to the door. “It took you long enough,” she complained, but cheerfully closed the door behind them. She babbled on for the next few minutes about things going on in her life - Youth Group activities with their church, her dates with Joshua . . And Caleb.

Oh Caleb. He was another matter entirely. Sara had learned a month before her arrival, Caleb had done the one thing everyone was always scared of him doing - he overdosed. Only by Joshua’s quick thinking and instincts had the ambulance arrived on time. The boy was now residing in Redwall, a rehabilitation clinic just outside of Moore. News from his father told Shannon that he was doing well, though the struggle was going to be an on-going battle the rest of his life.

She missed Caleb. The one person who she knew she could connect to was the only one she was out of reach from.

Shannon dragged her to the nearest mall, and proceeded to use her as a clothing rack. It was amusing to see Shannon like this - she would have never pegged the girl as a closet shopping addict. The redhead bounced from store to store, and bought something in almost every one of them.

“Did you win the lottery or something?” Sara finally asked.

Shannon laughed. “No, not really. But I had been saving up for a trip to Israel this summer. . I had over a thousand dollars . . Joshua had invited me to stay with him and his family for a week over there .. But at the last minute my plans fell through. Since I have nothing else to do with the money, I figured why not use it on something that I actually need? Clothing is a good start.”

The red-head stared thoughtfully at a shirt for a moment, before handing it to Sara. “That would look good on you. You should try it on. My treat, if it fits.”

“I .. . don’t think that would be the best idea,” Sara laughed quietly. “It’s not quite my size anymore.”

Suddenly, she was under Shannon’s inspection. She watched as everything suddenly fell into place. First, Shannon’s green eyes narrowed in curiosity, then they went wide, and her mouth formed a small ‘O’. She stared at Sara excitedly. “You’re pregnant?!” she whispered.

Sara shushed her, although it was for no reason. There was no one who would even care if they knew. Shannon suddenly looked excited, and gave Sara a grin. “How far?”

“Eight months. Please, please don’t say anything. My parents don’t even know yet.”

Shannon suddenly frowned. “Sara . . You were married. You have every right now legally be pregnant. What could your parents do about it?”

“Count back months and figure out that I was pregnant before I was married?”

Shannon snorted. “Well, the best of us fall.”

Sara raised an eyebrow. “Speaking from experience?”

The red-head suddenly became distracted by another t-shirt as her cheeks tinged with pink. It was enough to confirm what Sara had been suspecting about her friends for months. She wrapped an arm around Shannon’s shoulders. “Just be careful,” she whispered. “If you aren’t careful, you’ll end up like me.” Whether or not Shannon heard her and understood Sara never knew. They continued on with their shopping day, the topic of Sara’s pregnancy and the nature of Shannon’s relationship with Joshua never came up again.

As Shannon dropped Sara off that evening, she squeezed her hand. “You’re going to be okay.” she said confidently. “Your parents might be mad. But they’ve also had a lot to handle in the past few months. It’s not everyday that their eighteen year old daughter elopes with her boyfriend, and is widowed two weeks later. Be understanding with them, and I’m sure they’ll return in kind.” She gave her a smile. “Good luck.”

Good luck? That was easy for someone who wasn’t facing the task of telling their parents she was pregnant. Although, Shannon could probably understand her fear. Mr. O’Connor was a force to be dealt with when he was mad. As much as Sara feared telling her father, Mr. O’Connor would be a million times worse.

Her family was in the living room watching a movie. They all looked up as she entered, and said their small greetings. It was now or never, Sara decided. “Can we talk for a few minutes?”

Amanda Adams gave her a confused look. “Sara, we’re in the middle of a movie.”

“I have something important to tell you . . Can it wait?”

Her father hit pause. “What is it, Sara?”

She took a deep breath, praying that she would have the strength to do this. “I know that you all have been worried about me since I came back from Japan. Both Mom and Kara have noticed that I’ve been gaining weight at a . . well, rapid pace. I promise it’s not unhealthy though. It’s sort of needed really . . Um. . “

Wonderful. Now she was stammering. She continued. “What I’m trying to say is . . You guys have been wonderful parents to me. The best that I could have ever hoped for. And I know that you’re going . . You’re going to make wonderful grandparents too.”

Silence filled the room. Sara’s stomach twisted into knots as what she said hit her parents, and the color slowly drained from their face. Kara was the first to speak. “Are you serious?”

Sara nodded slowly.

“But you’re . . You’re eighteen, Sara. You can’t have a baby at eighteen.” Amanda stuttered. Sara decided now was not the time to remind her mother that she was only nineteen herself when Sara was born.

Her father was an entirely different story. “She won’t be. You’re giving it up for adoption, aren’t you?”

The idea terrified Sara. Give her child up for adoption? “No!” she exclaimed, her eyes widening in terror at the mere thought. “Dad, I can’t give this baby up for adoption. I just can’t. I know that I’m only eighteen, I know that I’m no longer married, but please try to understand where I’m coming from. My husband was murdered months ago, I’m re-adjusting to life at home. . This is the last thing of him I am ever going to have and you’re asking me to send it away?”

Amanda’s arms were around her before she could go into hysterics. She shot a glare at her husband, who backed down with his hands raised. “I’m defeated, I’m defeated . . “ he muttered. Sara knew this was not the end of the matter. Amanda smoothed Sara’s hair down, and calmed he breathing. “Go stay in your room.” she commanded softly. “Give me time to get him clamed down. No, you’re not in trouble. But we will . . Need to talk about this.”

Sara didn’t need to be told twice.

Her father would come around, she knew. According to her mother, Keith Adams hadn’t even taken her own pregnancy news with much grace. It would take a while of talking, but if anyone could calm her father down, it was Amanda Adams. Sara had faith in her mother.

Amanda peeked her head into Sara’s room hours later, and tossed a letter at her bed. “That came in the mail for you today. It looks like it’s from Japan, so you might want to open it.” She gave a small smile. “It’s going to be okay, Sara. We’re just . . Shocked. Your father will come around.”

As soon as she closed the door, Sara dove for the envelope. The name on the front clearly said “Ichijouji”. Her conversation with Rika earlier came back and she remembered Rika saying a letter would be arriving soon. As carefully as she could, Sara tore open the envelope and pulled out two sheets of paper. One was in Rika’s handwriting.

Sara,

I found this the other day while cleaning out Osamu’s desk. It came from a notebook of his that he used to write in all the time. I don’t know if he ever intended for you to see this or not, but I feel that under the circumstances, it might bring you some comfort. I’ll see you soon.

Her heart clenched as she unfolded the second paper, noticing immediately it was in Osamu’s handwriting.

Sara . It started. So, it was a letter written to her. Had he simply been musing, or had ever intended to show her this letter? The date was three days before his murder. Bracing herself, she read on.

I guess I could do the smart thing and reach over and wake you, but you look so utterly peaceful right now that it kills me to break that. You are so beautiful when you sleep. You have no idea. So I guess I’ll spill all my feelings here. Not that they matter.

You have absolutely no idea how much I love you. I don’t think you will ever know. These past few months. . This entire year has been an absolute blessing. That sounds cheesy, I know, but I have no other way I could possibly describe it. You have made differences in my life that I thought were never possible. My psychologist told me long ago that finding someone who understood me for who I would could possibly lower my symptoms. I blew that theory off, thinking that I knew what I was going through better than she did. Turns out, she was right. I still have them. I still see things that aren’t there, I still hear the voices. But you distract me. You help me know what is real and what isn’t.

I worry about things. I worry that in the future, you’re going to have to put me away in a mental institution or whatever you have in the States. It’s inevitable, Sara. Eventually, I’m going to get bad. I mean, I can only go on for so long, can’t I? I worry about our child. If one parent is schizophrenic, then it raises their chances. More so if they have other family members. . This baby has three. He’s doomed.

You help me though. You help me look on the bright side of life. And for the first time in many years, I’m starting to see the light. We’re graduated from high school. We have both been accepted into colleges around your area of Oklahoma. We are moving to your state as soon as we can. We’re married. We have a baby.

But this feeling that I’m having . . That feeling that something is going to happen keeps growing. I can’t shake it, and I don’t know why. There is something strange going on. Especially with Yukio. He’s been avoiding us more and more. He likes you, you know. He told me that when you were in the hospital that one day. He wants to look out for you, and protect you . . It’s a little strange for someone who claims to really only want you as a friend most of the time. We need to keep an eye on him, Sara. I fear he might become a danger to himself.

I think the light is beginning to bug you, because you’re tossing and turning now. So I guess I’m going to close this up and tell you once more. I love you more than anything you could ever dream about. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.

The letter ended there. Sara carefully folded the letter, placed it in the shoebox under her bed, curled up in a small ball . .

And bawled her eyes out.


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Author's Note: We have an epilouge after this. There really isn't much more to this story to tell. Why haven't I put more of Sara's trip back home, or her months of pregnancy? Because it wasn't vital to the story. It's not even something that can be backstory material. Sara has hid her pregnancy for eight months (something that can be done - my cousin's girlfriend did it), and the months were really. . a blur to her. Speaking from expereince here - I hardly remember anything in the months following my father's death. They were such a huge blur to me. We haven't quite seen the last of Ichijouji Rika, though. She'll be back for one more appearance, with a slight surprise. I hope people like it.

Sara's confession to her parents is taken from my cousin's confession to HIS parents. The conversation when something very similar. Needless to say, his parents were not thrilled at that fact. Neither are Sara's. No, Sara's father isn't a bad guy. He just worries about his daughter, and her future.

Please read the epilouge. I can not stress this enough. It ties up a few things, and THERE IS SOMETHING AFTER. Osamu fans will want to read this, I promise :D Just a hint - It's an alternate universe story, and it's titled "Lullabye." The last part should be up by tomorrow.