Prince Charming

A/N: Bwahahaha! Eh…feel loved. I didn’t temporize forever on this one. ^-^;

Chapter Twenty

Deep beneath the earth, in a cell formed of long-dried clay, packed soil, and stone, a solitary figure sat motionless, arms hanging in loose, rusted irons and head forward, his dark hair nearly indistinguishable from the other crimson stains marring the front of his tattered tunic. When a slight shift of the otherwise still air alerted him to another presence, he looked up, only to have his heart stop in his chest at the sight that greeted him.

Teige, draped in nothing but pristine white silk, looked so very small, hanging limp and lifelessly still in Cyprien’s arms, his obsidian hair merely a dark stain over his pale cheeks and shoulders, and to see him like that made Drake’s heart burn with a smoldering protective instinct and jealousy he’d never felt in a lifetime. After hours of mind-numbing fatigue, aching hunger, and frigid cold, suddenly, not a one of them could have mattered less to the seething warrior as he shot up on legs that had nearly forgotten how to the stand since he’d woken to find himself chained.

“What have you done to him?!” His bellowed demand came out with a force that almost surprised himself than it did the vampire, but he didn’t have time for wondering how his parched, dry throat had somehow managed to produce such a thundering volume; a minute stirring in Cyprien’s arms instantly distracted him, and something in his heart gave a painful flutter. “What have you done to him…?” Drake repeated hoarsely, his voice thick with a restrained mixture between panic, accusation, and fear.

True character, Cyprien betrayed little through his stony visage, eyes cold and dark as his caged heart when he finally set foot fully in the room, down from the winding steps that had lead him to Drake’s prison chamber. No doors or bars held the warrior in, but the shackles keeping his wrists and ankles to the wall with less than four feet of give seemed to suffice in assuring the maintenance of his captive state.

“What have I done to him?” The immortal’s icy tone reminded Drake of a winter wind, whispering through tents and cabins, bringing cold death to those not adequately prepared. “Nothing, my dear pathetic plebian. Nothing, at least…compared to what he’ll do to you.”

For a moment, Drake’s breath froze in his chest, his heart giving an irregular beat off tempo before he dismissed the feeling with a feral snarl, ignoring the sharp jolt of pain in his injured shoulder as he yanked again at the irons constraining him, testing their strength for all his worth and making the old metal clank gratingly as small showers of rust and brick shook loose under with the movements.

“What the hell are you on about? What he’ll do to me? Looks ‘bout as dangerous as a lark caught in a blizzard!” Drake directed each shout at Cyprien, but somehow, he couldn’t quite seem to drag his eyes off Teige, even to make his demands. “Now give him to me! Or-“ Abruptly, his words cut off, cleanly as if they’d been severed with a knife, and the threat died in his throat, the realization of how truly helpless he’d become hitting him with painful clarity.

For the first time since he’d entered the room, Cyprien’s stone tablet expression melted, a pure and utter calm settling into its place as his ebony eyes glinted with malicious satisfaction. “Or you’ll what, human?” The energy seeped from Drake’s bones as if the vampire himself had sucked it from him with his words alone, the look in his immortal eyes sending a chill down the hardened warrior’s spine. “Have you seen what a corpse looks like? After it’s been sucked dry? When there’s nothing left of a body but flesh and bone, teeth and marrow?” Drake took an involuntary step backwards as Cyprien advanced, his ivory teeth glinting eerily from the shadows. “His body is parched and hungry…without a good feed soon…he will, sadly, perish.” At the last word, Drake’s body went taut, overcome with a sudden chill as his fingers dug into his palms in white-knuckled fists. “You want him? You can have him.” As he spoke, the vampire continued to advance until he stood just a foot out of Davinoff’s reach, a wicked grin on his features as he added the last of his statement. “Just keep in mind…when I leave, you’re the only thing in the room with a pulse besides him and the rats…”

Seconds later, Drake found himself staggering briefly under a new weight, pain leaping up his arm until his back hit the wall with a thud and he managed to brace himself, still wincing tightly as he adjusted Teige’s body for a better hold and less strain on his shoulder joint. As he heard Cyprien disappearing up the steps in a whirl of movement, he silently thanked the gods that Teige didn’t weigh very much. Hard enough as it was to manage the shackles, rusty cuffs digging into his wrists even with his back to the wall; with anything any heavier, he would have collapsed under the pressure, losing Teige in the process.

“Come on, princess,” he nearly begged to the silent room, “please gods, wake up…I need you. Say something…” Drake had his eyes shut, head back and face cast towards the ceiling, as if he were speaking to the heavens themselves instead of the man in his arms. Regardless of his words’ direction, though, they did eventually entice a reply, however soft, and Drake’s gaze snapped down at the quiet inquiry.

“Drake…?” Teige’s voice sounded thick and breathy, like the rustling wings of a bird as it shook off morning dew after a long night’s rest, and Davinoff’s heart took flight in his chest.

“Gods, yes…” He breathed, in silent thanks, his body near collapsing with relief alone as his face broke out into a helpless look of gratitude for whatever kind spirit had smiled down upon him for once. “Ohh, thank the gods…” As he spoke, Drake dropped his head, whispering the words into the thick, silken nest of obsidian before giving a nervous laugh: the only one Teige had ever heard leaving his lips. “Damn you, woman, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

“Drake…what…” Teige shifted slightly as he spoke, and Drake had to grit his teeth not protest as the change in weight sent a sharp stab of pain up his arm and caused the rusted cuff on one of his wrists to dig into his flesh under the extra pressure. But, apparently, regardless of his efforts, Teige noticed anyway, his blue eyes widening as he caught on to the other’s expression. “Drake, put me down,” he ordered instantly, and Drake couldn’t manage to suppress the mixture between a relieved grunt and sigh as he allowed Teige to take some of the weight, lowering the smaller body carefully till his feet hit the floor. When Teige’s stance wavered, however, his legs threatening to give out from under him, Drake felt instantly ready to lift him back up again.

“Teige-”

“I’m fine,” Teige didn’t hesitate to cut in, though the wearied note behind his curt tone didn’t make it past Drake’s noticed, and he frowned in concerned disbelief. Before he could open his mouth to protest, though, Teige had started up again. “Don’t say anything. You hurt yourself somewhere and-” His speech froze, and Drake felt him tense in his arms as his eyes came to rest on the unmistakable crimson stain marring his neck. Seconds later, his gaze snapped up, guilt, concern, and fear mingling together into one as he choked out. “Did I-”

“Raspel,” Drake answered for him, and he watched the web of emotions fall away in an instant, like crumbling a mask as relief swelled up in the smaller man’s gaze.

“Thank the gods…” was all Teige managed to mutter as he dropped his forehead with a shaky exhale that Drake felt against his chest through the cloth of his tunic. With his own quiet sigh, Drake shut his eyes, brow furrowed as he lifted a single hand to the small of his lover’s back, cursing the clink and clank that followed, constantly reminding both he and Teige of their position.

Then again, how could he forget? The uneven wall of their prison dug into his back, coarse metal bound his wrists, and as his fingers clutched to the slim back beneath his grip, his hands fisted white silk, something he could never provide his lover in a lifetime. So, swallowing his pride, as he’d found himself doing so often lately for Teige’s sake, he placed a last kiss on the roof of the dark head before him before gathering together the words he knew needed saying above all else.

“Teige,” Drake prodded quietly, earning himself a drowsy mumble from the man lying placid in his arms. “Teige, look at me…” This time, he received a stir in reply, then, eventually, the smaller man lifted his head with a muffled ‘hm?’. If possible, he looked paler than he had when Cyprien dropped him off, and Drake had to swallow down the curses rising in his throat at the sight. “You need blood,” he stated, but it came out more as a command than an observation, and Teige tensed as plainly as if he’d turned to stone on the spot.

For a time, Teige kept still, remaining deathly silent until, finally, he shook his head, his voice barely audible even in the silent room when he spoke up. “What are you talking about…? I don’t-”

“He can protect you, Teige,” Drake cut in with smooth determination. “He can care for you and provide things I could never match in-”

“No! I’m not some venal prize to be purchased through silks and gemstones, Drake, goddammit!” For someone so fragile in stature and appearance, Teige’s voice demanded silence without compromise. “I don’t care what he wants to give me…it’s nothing compared to you! And I’d rather die here in this damn cell with the memory of you and a recent sunset then live on for eternity in his arms with nothing but the fading reminiscence of things I’ll never see or touch again… Can you even imagine what that would be like?” Teige looked desperate, his navy eyes pleading with the figure above for some form of understanding. “I can’t, Drake…I couldn’t…not in a thousand years… You think I could live with myself? Knowing that I killed you and left you here to just…rot…? Only to get up and run off with someone else…leaving your corpse alone in the dirt with the rats and-”

“You’re not making this sound very appealing.”

Teige gave a half-hearted smile, though it held more forlorn hope than true happiness, and it broke Drake’s heart to look. “Then I’m doing a good job…”

“But, Teige…” Davinoff scowled, hating himself for never having the right things to say. “Damn you, woman…you’ve got to know he won’t let me out of here? Not while he’s got one breath left in him, and-”

“You can’t ask me to kill the man I love.”

“I didn’t say you had to kill him, dammit! Don’t think you could kill him anyway…not like this, with us chained and you…” Drake trailed off at Teige’s look, and his brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“I wasn’t talking about Cyprien, Drake…”

Davinoff opened his mouth, but for the first time in his life actually caught himself before he blundered into a stupid question. Then again, could Teige really mean…? Frowning, he studied the features before him. Even in the dim, shaded lighting of the dungeon, with his face pale with fatigue and his expression wrought with anxiety, he looked breathtakingly beautiful to Drake, and in that moment, he came to realize he’d fallen in love with Teige a long time ago, though he had never once expected anything in return. Not once. For what could he possibly have to interest someone so brilliant and alive? Someone so obviously out of his league… Hearing the declaration coming from Teige himself gift than the gods had ever given him in a lifetime. But could Teige really have meant it? Surely he’d misinterpreted…

“I don’t love Cyprien, Drake… Maybe there was a time, a long time ago, when he had a piece of my heart and wouldn’t let go…but he lost it. He lost it the day I stepped free from that tower…maybe even before that, and… I love you.” There. He’d said it. Couldn’t get any clearer than that, could he? “I don’t know when it happened exactly, but it doesn’t matter now…I love you, and there’s no way in hell Cyprien’s tricks are going to take you away from me now.”

Drake swallowed, and he wanted to kiss away every hurt evident on Teige’s pale features. Perhaps it would take a lifetime, but he wouldn’t mind a moment of it. “We won’t get out of here now without a miracle…”

Teige’s humorless smile twitched up a notch until Drake could almost pick up a glint of mischief behind the sadness, a faint hope in the distance, barely visible, but still there. “Then I guess we’ll just have to make a miracle, won’t we?”

“Hn,” was all the reply Drake managed to make before their lips met, and he would have traded anything in the world to have that moment last forever. He forgot the chains, the cold, and the hunger, the facts he’d have to face as soon as he let go, because then and there, nothing but the present had any bearing whatsoever, and the present meant soft lips, smooth fingers lacing behind his neck, and a small, complaisant body pressed up flat against his.

Neither new how long they stayed that way, simply holding, and touching, and kissing with a careful tenderness that matched only perhaps that first night. But, slowly, as time passed, they succumbed to fatigue. Slipping down the wall, some immeasurable amount of time later found them on the dungeon floor: Teige curled in Drake’s lap with his head drowsily nested against the man’s neck and shoulder, and Drake with his eyes shut, his arms wrapped close around the smaller body and chains lying limp at each side. Only when he sensed Teige losing consciousness did Drake reluctantly disturb the peace.

“Teige, come on, princess, don’t go to sleep on me, now,” he entreated quietly, raising a single hand with a slight clink to run it briefly through the soft raven locks of his lover. “Stay up just a bit longer…”

Without so much as shaking his head, Teige gave a muffled mumble, the lazy heat of his breath caressing the niche between Drake’s neck and shoulder as he spoke. “Why now…? I think I could sleep here forever…” Unintentionally, Drake’s grip tightened on the cluster of dark silk in his grip, and though it didn’t hurt him, Teige noticed it enough to glance up, only to find Davinoff’s features stony with a cold, glinting fear in his eyes that made Teige draw a sharp breath. “Drake, I-”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” Davinoff confirmed, his tone even but on the point of breaking as he ran his eyes over the figure before him. Then, just as Teige opened his mouth to speak, Drake continued, his manner imploring in a way Teige had never seen before. “Please…take something… You look so pale.”

“I’m fine. If I just sleep a bit…”

“Teige-”

“I’ll be fine,” Teige insisted.

“You know you won’t.” Drake watched as Teige glanced away, unable to deny the claim but not ready to admit defeat.

“He said I’d hurt you.”

“Then hurt me,” the older man insisted without pause, causing Teige to snap his gaze back, his expression a mixture of anger and hopelessness.

“He said I’d kill you!”

“You won’t.” That statement, said with such firm conviction, gave Teige pause, and he blinked dully as if someone had hit him upside the face. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, so Drake continued as surely as he’d begun. “You won’t kill me. You wouldn’t do that…no matter what damn will or spell your kooky race has put you under…” After a moment of consideration, he gave a faint smile. “I know you’re out to protect me…but I think I can handle it. I’m a little tougher than I look, you know.”

At the last statement, Teige flushed, the look impossibly bright on his ashen cheeks. “I don’t think that’s possible,” he muttered with only half-hearted objection, his words drifting off as Drake’s kiss demanded his utmost attention, and eventually, he gave in with a fluttered sigh. “You have such a way with words…”

“Hn,” Drake grunted inarticulately. “Liar.”

Teige gave no reply, and when they broke, his dark lashes lifted up, allowing him to lock eyes with trusting russet, no hint of doubt visible in their depths. “You sure I won’t hurt you?”

“Positive.”

Exhaling shakily, Teige shut his eyes, then took a slow breath before leaning in. As he pressed his lips to the juncture between Drake’s strong jaw and throat, there was no denying he needed the blood as Cyprien said. Even at a distance, Drake’s heartbeat had sounded like a wild man’s drum, the steady rhythm drilling into him and demanding that he move on, drive forward and take the kill. Now, as he let his breath out again in a hungry shudder over the bare skin before him, the sound seemed amplified around him, and he felt every centimeter as his fangs drew to the surface instinctively.

What if Cyprien was right? His tongue darted out over the heated tan flesh and he felt Drake’s grip on his back tense through the silk of his shirt. What if he couldn’t stop? He could hear the blood flow in his lover’s veins, and it sounded like rushing torrents, rapids to his hypersensitive ears. What if something went wrong and he hurt him? Teige let a single ivory tip graze the waiting flesh, and his eyes drew instinctively to the prick, his heart moving out of time as he watched a tiny bead of crimson well up. What if he killed him?

“Teige…”

When Teige gathered the tiny drop of blood on his tongue, Drake’s call became an eerie light in the distance, warning him of rocks ahead that he’d never see until far too late. In just that one taste his body strummed with adrenaline and the sheer promise of life ahead: a wild, addictive nectar that made his heart leap in response. But oh, where had he tasted it before? His tongue instinctively ran over the incision again, stealing one more hint before he took everything. But, just as he prepared to sink deep, remembrance struck him, and his pulse gave an irregular thud as another pair of gruff hands came to mind, along with a thick, dark mop of red hair.

“Drake…” His voice sounded odd, even to himself. “Drake, you taste like-”

“Raspel!” Drake hissed the name, and Teige took a moment to frown, wondering how the man could have possibly guessed. Or, at least, he wondered until he heard a deep, vaguely familiar voice that struck a cord in his nerves.

“See here now, is that any way to greet family?”

Teige spun his head at the voice, almost instantly regretting it as pain drilled into his skull immediately, but he had no time for regrets at that moment. Raspel, in all his dark, cunning glory, stood lazily propped under the archway between the dungeon cell itself, and the winding stair that lead out. His considerable frame looked even larger in comparison to the small entryway, and Teige was struck with how very similar he really did look to the man currently holding him. Slightly slimmer perhaps, maybe taller: he kept his hair short, but wore a stubble of rust-colored beard across his squared chin. Teige absently remembered the feel of it against his cheek behind the inn, days back, and wondered how he could have missed the resemblance. Apparently, Drake saw nothing in common, however, as he snarled, his grip tightening protectively on Teige as he snapped out coarsely.

“Get out! What are you doing here?”

Raspel folded his arms with a look of mock hurt, though his eyes ran over both Teige and Drake in consideration as he spoke. “Would you rather I leave first, or answer your question, dear brother? For the gods know I can’t do both…”

“I-” Drake paused as his mind eventually caught on to everything, and his brow pinned up tightly in a mixture between anger and confusion. “What-”

“I’ll do you a favor and answer the question,” Raspel eventually stated calmly, stepping out of the archway and into the room as he approached the detained couple. “I…am your knight in shining armor, your savior, your messiah… I…am here to save not only the life of my poor, pathetic human relative…but also his half-breed lover. Now don’t you think that’s nice of me?” By that point he had made it almost directly before them, Drake looking utterly clueless, and Teige’s rather dizzied features vaguely considerate as he tried to take in all the facts.

“How-,” Drake began, but again, his sibling interrupted, shaking his head curtly with a quiet ‘tut-tut’ to silence him.

“Seems a good thing I came when I did, too… Or there’d have been no hope for you. You almost let him bite you, didn’t you?” At the comment, Drake looked highly dissatisfied, but Raspel gave him no chance to object. “In his state, good intentions or no, one bite…and I’m afraid Cyprien would have had his way. Too bad the lovely man is so unaccustomed to losing, I’m afraid things might come as a bit of shock to him, but-” Raspel cut off briefly to steady Teige’s head as he threatened to faint, earning himself an instant glare from Drake, though the chained mercenary didn’t dare move his hands from their protective hold around the smaller figure. “-there’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”

Without a moment’s hesitation Raspel lifted a hand before his lips, baring fangs just before he slit himself openly across the wrist, and if the bloody appendage hadn’t been thrust before his own mouth the next instant, Teige might have found the procedure a great deal more repulsing. As it happened, instinct guided his lips, tongue and teeth to the sloppy incision long before he mind got to wrapping itself around the gritty details.

From that point on, everything swirled together a large blur: sparks of color that made him think of an electric rainbow, more strength and sensation than his body could handle, and then energy, pure, solid energy that swept through his system in a tidal wave… Then it all cut off, and Teige stumbled forward onto the dirt flooring of the dungeon, gasping with his eyes wide as if, well…as if he had experienced the greatest sex of a lifetime bundled up over the course of about thirty seconds or less.

Dazedly, he watched Raspel lift the bleeding slit to his lips, running his tongue cleanly across the mark and healing it in under a second for all to see. “Hmph…greedy little thing, aren’t you?”

“I still don’t see how all this fits together,” Drake growled sullenly from his position against the wall, and Raspel glanced up, as if noticing him for the first time.

“Don’t worry your head, brother, it’s apparent you didn’t get the brains in the family…” He stepped around Teige’s still shaking body to come before the scowling mercenary. “Give me your wrist.”

“Why do I need to get bitten?!” Drake practically flattened himself to the wall at the thought of having the previous spectacle repeated on him, but Raspel only sighed and shook his head with a frown.

“Listen to me. Cyprien has yet to discover that I’ve even returned. I mean to free you from your binds, but if you can’t cooperate, you’ll never make it out of here alive. Now offer me your wrist, or surrender yourself to death.”

“You have a key?” Drake lifted an arm slowly, still uncertain as to whether or not he could trust the stranger who’d nearly taken his life merely hours before.

“No.” Raspel caught the shackle and lifted his spare hand to begin tracing a pattern over its lock. “No key could open these.” Seconds later, Drake jumped as the cuff briefly heated to an almost scalding temperature before snapping open and falling away with a metallic clatter. Raspel immediately motioned for the second hand, and Drake offered it up with much less hesitancy after he’d determined that the heat hadn’t, in fact, left any noticeable mark. The second time didn’t catch him off-guard, and he paid it no mind, making to stand as soon as the metal fell away, but Raspel paused him. “Wait. Your shoulder…and you seem to have managed getting your chest too, how badly-”

“I’m fine-”

“I can heal you,” Raspel offered before any more objections left the other’s mouth, and Drake glanced up. Without waiting for approval, Raspel stooped before his brother, coming to squat on the balls of his feet and reaching out to shred away the main front of the other man’s tunic. “I don’t have enough time or energy for anything too complicated. Saliva has its own healing properties but I don’t think your little mate would take too well to me licking up and down your chest…so I’ll leave that for you two to work out later. For now…” He ran a finger down an only partially scabbed incision about a foot long running down the right side of Drake’s front, and the elder of the two grit his teeth. If not for the fact that seconds later, the wound responded, looking less and less menacing until only a mild scar took its place, he might have shoved the vampire off in disgust. Then, he felt a sharp heat in his shoulder and winced openly, covering his surprise with a quiet grunt before clenching his fists.

“What the hell are you-”

“Relax,” Raspel hissed coarsely, his tone impatient as a worried frown settled over his features; the look did nothing to still his patient’s mood.

“Relax?! What ha-”

“It’s worse than I thought. Will you just hold still?” Raspel looked exceedingly frustrated, puzzlement settling over his features as he shook his head, mystified. “You rode with this…? And moved, and…gods, it must have hurt like hell to-”

“Raspel.” Three heads snapped around instantly at the eerily smooth voice, Cyprien’s eloquent tone seeping into the room like molasses until nothing else could make a sound. “How pleasant to find you alive and unharmed…though I do come to wonder what you plan to do with my prisoners without my knowing…”

A/N: Not sure when the next chapter will be out, but I’ll try my best to make it prompt as possible. (No guarantees.) Thank you all extra, extra much for you reviews this time around; I almost worried I wouldn’t get any! (With me abandoning this place for so long.) Anyway, thank you. I hope you enjoy the chapter. May it not be forever before I finish this thing up!

Review Replies

Katica Locke: OMG you totally can't do this to me! -pouts- You have a definate knack for cliffhanger endings. As usual, beautifully written, intense, and had me on the edge of my seat. I swear, I stopped breathing when Cyprien bit Tiege. I can't wait to see how you pull a happy ending out of this, because right now, I'm worried. Drake is the hero - he would die for the one he loved, and vamprism is usually an instinctual thing, driving the fledgling to feed against his will (not sure if that's how it works in your story, but hey, just speculating here XP), but I just know you're not cruel enough to let Cyprien have his way. The vampire must die and Drake and Tiege live happily ever after. That's how fairy tales work, dammit! -deep breath, calm down-

Wow, sorry to hear about the hurricane and everything. -Hugs- Hope things get better soon and I'm glad you're back. It was definately worth the wait.

Katica

Cliffhangers are my love. Lol. How else could I convince people that they really do need to stick around for the next chapter? Worried about the heroes? -gasp- Now, I must admit, I’ve been known for (at least one) cruel ending in the past, so I suppose you never know. ^_~ Interestingly enough, what you said about ‘vampirism’, is pretty much what I’ve gone with so far. But we’ll get a little more into that next chapter…

Yes, yes. Couldn’t have a fairy tale with an unhappy ending could we? That would be like…a fairy tale without a real princess! Or profanity and sexual themes… Completely ruins the innocent splendor! Right? O_o No, I’m kidding…really. T_T

I know I already told you, but I know at least one odd person who happens to read all my replies. –cough- So I figured I’d just mention again. No hurricane! :gonk: Everything’s fine and dandy here in the mosquito infested, stagnant swamp lands of good ole MS. ^-^;; Oi, and thanks for the review! It really is nice to see you consistent with them. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. o_o

MakaiKitty: Hmmmm, I wonder how Drake and Teige are going to get out of this one? You wouldn't be so cruel as to kill Teige, now would you? No, you would never be so mean as to kill a lead character... right? Anyway, you're back, I'm back, and I can't wait to see how this fic ends up. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I'm hoping for a happy ending, but I see so many ways for this to end in heartache. Update soon, please?

ONE little vicious rape slaughter…and BAM, no one trusts you anymore. –pout- -Ahem- Me? Kill off a main character? Never! T_T What would ever inspire me to harm either of my precious creations? What did they ever do? -evil laughter- Ehh…no really. I’m innocent this time, I swear! -ninja-

You are back, aren’t you… Ack! I haven’t reviewed anything of yours recently have I? T_T My apologies. For the record, I’ve read everything. (Including the short smut thing between my favorite werewolf [yay North!] and Caspian –muchlove-, and chapter nine of “Somewhere In Between”.) I’ll get to reviewing soon as I can, promise! Your continued replies are much appreciated. =^-^=

Falcon Bertille: Hurray! You updated! *Does the Happy Dance*

Lol. I think I’ve heard (directly from you, in fact) that the ‘happy dance’ is actually quite a frightening thing. But for the record, it makes me grin. I’m very glad to be back and have your feedback again. =^.^=

It's been so long since I did the beta thing for this chapter, reading it again was like getting to read it for the first time. I can't remember exactly what I nitpicked in my critique, but whatever problems there were, you definitely fixed them. The viewpoint is handled smoothly and clearly.

You nitpicked quite a bit, but it was a bit of a mess and I know it came out far cleaner than it started, so I was glad. I’m glad to be finally getting the viewpoint thing more under control though (at least when I’m paying attention). Eternally grateful for your help in that subject (and all others, for I’m sure they’re nearly uncountable).

One of the most interesting things in this chapter is the way you show Teige becoming more self-aware regarding his relationship with Cyprien. In Chapter One, Teige seems to think of Cyprien as a force of nature -- the great and powerful captor. But in this chapter, for the first time, Teige begins to view Cyprien as a person. And begins to realize that the reason he can't be happy with Cyprien doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that Cyprien is a vampire, or that Cyprien kidnapped him and used him to lure people to their deaths. It has more to do with the fact that Cyprien is cold, dispassionate, and ultimately uninterested in the truth of who Teige is. (When Teige thinks Cyprien is going to ask him about how he changed, and instead Cyprien only comments about Teige's shorter hair -- that's a truly masterful moment. So much information is conveyed without saying it. Teige wants to communicate something about his inner life, and Cyprien only cares about the exterior.)

You should know, it takes me at least twice as long to reply to you (the majority of the time), as it does to reply to all of my other reviewers combined. Mostly for this very reason. You have such a perfect talent of bringing to light anything and everything I might be proud of in a chapter (even chapters that I don’t like very much), and elaborate on it until I really don’t know quite how to reply anymore. You’ve put everything I’ve tried to convey into one neat paragraph and described my own characters better than I think I ever could. I don’t know what I’d do without you. (But one thing’s for sure, my ego would be a whole lot less inflated.) I’m thrilled to hear I got things portrayed the way I wanted them. ^^

The bite was gloriously erotic, and terrifying at the same time. "Dazed, Teige felt the unmistakable liquid warmth of blood seeping down languidly from his abused neck to the bare expanse of his chest...the vampire... pressing a gentle, measured kiss to the small lesion he’d created before mimicking the act with timed precision down the dark crimson trail that followed." So sensual and evocative. Just gorgeous, really.

At the risk of coming off as entirely egotistical, I quite liked that part as well. I spent a good deal of time on it, but my greatest apprehension was making Teige too…willing? The whole chapter, I worried about the line between what made sense (Teige couldn’t very well treat Cyprien as a common assailant/total stranger), and what bordered on betrayal (didn’t want Teige to act comfortable with Cyprien to the point where Drake got shoved aside). The nice thing about a vampire bite is it sort of takes away the strength/free will of the victim then and there, so at least for that short amount of time, I didn’t have to worry about it.

And I loved it when Teige said he half expected Cyprien to give him a dress. That totally cracked me up.

-grin- I couldn’t quite make up my mind as to whether that part was totally ridiculous or actually funny. In the end, I couldn’t resist stuffing it in there, so I’m glad you liked it. ^-^

I'm sorry to hear about the hurricane and everything. I wish that I had any sort of legitimate excuse. But I'm going to try to follow your good example and drag my ass through the last 1,000 words of Chapter Seven of "With A Spirit Of Love." Until then...

Love,
Falcon

Phht. There is a lesson to be learned from this, I think. If nothing else, I need to work on my internet sarcasm. xP (That, or eliminate it, but that just takes all the fun out of life…)

DrkDreamer: Chapter 19 review -

I truly think this has to be the best chapter of anything I've ever read. The wording is superb. You've totally captured the angst of each character.

I'm just in awe!

=^-^= I’m flattered that you think so! I had my ifs ands and buts about this chapter (obviously, since I took so dang long to get it up), but after finally getting up the gall to get it together and post, it’s nice to hear that it went over well. Thank you for taking the time to comment!

Corenn: Oooooh, pooooor Cyprien T_T True, he's a bit of unlucky... A little little bit XD You really managed to make him.. I don't know exactly how to say that... pitiful maybe ? You would want to hug him and comfort him... That's too sad...
But in fact, I'm not CRUEL toward him.

Lol. Pitiful is close but eh……not the right word. XD Pitiful is very negative. Pitiable is closer (wanting to hug and comfort would sort of relate to pitying), but I don’t think he’s very pitiable either. (Pitiable is also pretty negative, but not quite so bad.) He’s just very…unloved…and misunderstood. And perhaps very highly in need of that hug you want to give him. (Unfortunately, he probably won’t ever get a chance to receive a hug of any sort in the upcoming chapters…….) Anyway! Of the spoilers subject…

It's just that when I love a character, I love to see him suffering *____*

I can totally relate, don’t worry. ^_^

Cyprien : o_O You means that I must go singing and laughing everywhere to get off of you ?...
Corenn : But WHY would you want to get off of me ? Am I not niiice ? €_€
All : >__> Sad...
And, anyway, it's good to see a "deep" characters... Evil villains, OK, perfect, but "human" too. Not like my T-shirt, which has no human feeling. No, I'm not lying !! It's WRITING on it ! >__<
... OK, no spleeping at 3:30 following by showing a leg at 9:00. Very bad for brain. Must stop.
Anyway, for the fanfics - they're very difficult to read, I think. There's expressions, and I normally use many... how could I say that... "litterary" frensh. Difficult words, etc. Or else you allow me to give you frensh lessons XD

FRENCH LESSONS!! -Ahem- That would be totally, totally cool…….but how would it work? It’s not like I could learn to pronunciate anything…and since it’s over the internet, how will you know I’m learning and remembering and not cheating and…well…I suppose since I’m doing it all because I want to, there wouldn’t be much reason for me to try and cheat, now would there? -considers- I need to email you. XD

And I also made some drawing explaining the true reason of why Cyprien left Teige to Drake, who Teige really love and one Raspel-diggin'-his-own-grave thing. *sighs* The stuff you do when you're bored... >__>
Nyah. And there I end this reveiw to go back crying on poor Cyprien.
Drake : Offers him some garter to cheer him up ! He sooo love garters and wheels ! You'll be sure to light up his mood ^___^
Cyprien : ... You're quite the rancorous, aren't you ?

Rancorous…….wow. That, my friend, is a very good word. Lol! Just so you get to feel special…I had to look it up. (I had an idea of what it meant, and my computer told me you spelled it right and everything so I’m like…o_O A French person knows an English word that I don’t. How sad. :gonk: ) Anyway…-tries to imagine Drake handing Cyprien garter- XDDD Drawing? You draw? -gasp- I sketch occasionally, but don’t consider it much of anything. Writing is my passion. Whahaha! -Ahem- Anyway! Thank you uber bunches for the long and lovely review! Maybe I’ll email you soon…see if we can start those French lessons. XD

christofrog: Normally I do not go to original fiction, simply because my time seemed to always be taken up by other categories. I found myself with a bit of extra time yesterday and decided to delve into this one. The title peaked my interest and for some very long hours, that was all she wrote. I am totally fascinated by this fiction of yours and am waiting with baited breath on the next installment. I'm not sure how often you update but hope it's not long inbetween as I am dying to know what's going to happen next.

Funny you should mention how often I update…….you caught this right after a…oh…several month long break? Phht. But uh, yeah. I usually try to update at least once a week. Often faster than that when I first start the story, sometimes slower when it comes to the end. But I try (my best, not always good enough but hey, it’s all I got) to get stuff up and going fast as possible without handing out anything sloppy.

I have fallen in love with all the characters. Cyprian is just what I would imagine of a centuries old vampire and love the way you seem to choose his words with such care. Having lived so long he would have to be intelligent and I enjoy how carefully he speaks. I think it quite ironic that his cold and callous nature that keeps him alive is also what is going to kill him in the end. I felt his pain upon knowing that Teige loves Drake but feel that he must die in the end since I want my lovers to know happiness and as long as he's there such a thing cannot be. You know, if you ever wanted to do another follow up to this, Cyprian's background would also make a very intriguing tale too.

I’ve often wondered at Cyprien’s background. One of my reviewers once mentioned that the story almost didn’t ‘need’ the vampires at all. That it drove itself on just fine without them. As I thought about that more, I realize the partial truth in that, but I also know why I couldn’t quite get rid of them. Obviously, the story focuses on Teige and Drake’s side of everything, but as I go through it, my mind has been providing me with this whole other story going on on the flip side of the coin. Cyprien and Raspel have a whole story of their own, but I just don’t know if it’ll ever make it out to the public (for many reasons, most having to do with a lack of spare time).

No, didn't see Raspel being Drakes brother coming at all. Very nice twist though and would make perfect sense. Makes for a much more intersesting story and I must admit to wondering how in blue blazes my lovers would ever escape Cyprian. Which brings me to my lovers. What wonderful, believable characters these are. Drake as the handsome, rugged warrior is just perfect. From the begining his actions suited his personality like a glove. His dealings with Teige, the way he had trouble dealing with him rang so true that it was almost like reading a true story rather than fiction. The whole way through this I kept thinking what an awesome movie or TV series this would make. Maybe one day I'll actually see it happen. (a girl can dream, can't she?)

Lol. I think the general public will have to accept the general reality of gays as people before they start really breaking off into the media, but yes, dreams are always permitted. For me, (at least in the past), the more ‘dominant’ personality has always been somewhat of a challenge to portray properly, maybe simply because I find it more difficult to relate, or maybe because (at least in this case), they’re just more closed off; regardless, it’s reassuring to know I got them across well. I think Drake gained a good deal more popularity than my last reclusive dominant, but then again, my last story as a whole had a good deal of faults in itself. Main point being: I’m glad you like Drake. ^^

Now Teige. I love him. From the first, when we are introduced to the lonely sad boy that he was to the young man we see him growing into I fell totally in love with him. To see him finally becoming brave enough to fight for what HE wants and not just settle for what he has to is so moving. You write so eloquently that it's a joy to just sit and read your words. I can see the images as I'm reading and almost feel like I'm right there as it happens. Not many people are able to do that and I'm feeling blessed that I happened to find this story. I cannot wait for more. Thanks so very much for sharing it with us.

Teige was an entertaining character to write, and a terrific example of what happens when I can’t quite reign in my ideas. Originally, in order to go by the ‘fairy tale theme’, I planned on making him follow the pre-ordained princess-in-a-tower persona. He was going to be pretty to look at…but otherwise rather whiny and shallow. As you can probably tell, he quickly took his own course. Before I knew it, he was changing from a useless, dependent tag-a-long, to someone actually trying to carry his own weight. Not what I planned, but a hell of a lot more interesting (at least for me). It’s always nice to hear that his more forward personality is appreciated.

Anyway, glad you liked it. You’re very, very welcome (in regards to me sharing the story). I hope this was soon enough for you, and thank you immensely for taking the time out to leave a review!

Shattered Fantasies: Hello! I've been lurking for like..ever I think. And I just wanted to say that I love this story! So amazing! :D!!

Also, Teige! Go with Cyprien!! @_@;;; *cough* Sorry I'm not a super Drake fan. He's pretty spiffy. But Cyprien's more my type. XD; But hey. If Teige doesn't want the sexy vampyre...I'll take him. And keep him in my closet. :D

Seriously though. I felt so bad for Cyprien because of his missed chance at happiness... ;.; He should be happy. Make him happy! Pleeease? *offers cookies and other yummies*

Another Cyprien/Teige fan?? :o –gasp- But, but…Cyprien is cold and…calculated! ^^ I suppose I can see where you’re coming from, though. I personally like Cyprien a lot…but Drake is so much more loving, really he is. Cyprien is looking for someone bends over for him (er…no pun intended, really).

If Cyprien lives, you’ll probably have to fight Raspel for him. o_o

Cyprien? Happy? Come on now, you must know…he’s so determined to be miserable…I could give him everything in the world and he could STILL find something to get angsty about. T_T But ohhhhhh….-stares- Cookies………..o______o You know the way to my heart, I swear. I better leave before this story ends drastically wrong. :gonk: Lol. Thanks for the review, though! =^.^= Glad to know that Cyprien still has his fans. ^_^