Thia's Memory

“Matt!?” Sam shouted as she freed herself from his arms “are you out of your mind? Wh-” her breath was shallow and she couldn’t believe what he’d just done. She just stared at him, shocked, and some how scared that he’d do it again.

Matt covered his face with his hands “I’m so sorry Sam, I didn’t… I shouldn’t,” he was stumbling and she sort of felt her heart soften.

“Are you okay Matt? I mean is there something wrong going on?” Sam asked kindly but still kept her distance away from him.

“No, no Sam. Ah- Shane sent me; he is asking what is taking you so long.” Matt nervously said the words and turned to leave the room with his face down “don’t be late, he said.”

“Wait Matt!” she hurried after him “I’m coming with you, I’m done anyway. Why don’t you tell me what is wrong on our way?”

Matt looked down as he walked beside her to the stairs “nothing Sam, there’s nothing wrong. And again let me apologize fo-”

“It’s okay Matt, I’m sure you’re just having a bad day or something. You didn’t mean it in a bad way right?” she asked smiling at him.

By that they were walking through the hall, and Sam heard what seemed like two people talking.

“Do you know who is in here?” she asked Matt as she approached the room where she could hear voices.

“I don’t know, I think everyone is outside.” Matt said slowly.

“Do you think we should go or...” she suddenly heard Shane’s laughter and froze “I thought you said Shane’s outside.” She said turning to look at Matt.

She saw what seemed like a light in his eyes “let’s see then.”

Sam walked slowly to the guest’s room and looked through the half closed door. Her heart almost stopped as she felt a knife put deep in it.

There in the middle of the room, she could see Shane’s back and a woman’s arms were wrapped around his waist. And the words she heard made her feel as if someone was unmercifully moving the knife in her heart.

“Honey, thank you so much, you don’t know how much this means to me. You know I love you.”

“You are welcome Jenny,” Shane answered in a lovely voice, she knew that voice well. He was stroking back Jenny’s blond hair as her head rested on his chest.

“I don’t know how….” Sam couldn’t hear the rest of the words.

“Sam!” Matt called from behind her “what is wro-” he moved slowly and she felt him stand right behind her.

“Take me out of here Matt, please.” She whispered as she felt her whole world fall apart. She couldn’t see, hear or feel anything except for the pain in her heart. She was aware of Matt’s tight grip around her arm, and it was the only thing that helped her to stay on her foot. She knew she was taken quickly outside the house and into Matt’s car.

“Quickly let’s go!”

“I don’t know, I don’t think that’s right,” she thought for a moment, maybe, just maybe Shane had an explanation for what she had seen. She love him enough to give him that chance “I’ll go back and talk to him.”

“No you’re not, you’ll only make it worse, and he’ll probably only pity you. Believe me Sam! You don’t want this.”

She thought about his words and felt the pain in her heart grew deeper and deeper, maybe he was right ‘I don’t want him to be with me just because he feels guilty’ she thought. Sam kept her eyes open but couldn’t see in front of her and only started to notice her surrounding when they were far away from the house.

“Sam, I-”

“Please Matt,” she looked at him for the first time “I want to get out, I want to be alone. Park the car and let me out.”

“But Sam, I can’t let you stay by yourself right now, it’s my fault, I should have warned you again, I told you Sam, I told you but you chose not to listen to me.”

“Matt, I don’t need this right now. Please I want to get out.”

“No, you have to go away or else Shane will find you easily.”

“Go where? I don’t have any…” Sam couldn’t continue her words she just couldn’t believe anything. She had a peaceful life; a guy that loved her ‘loved me? Oh my God, I was such a fool, he never loved me. But why did he marry me if he didn’t love me?’ She felt all the questions rush through her mind as if a door had been opened. She closed her eyes and could see the same sight of Shane with Jenny in his arms. She felt hot tears burn her eyes, tears she knew were locked inside till this moment and she knew if she let go, she wouldn’t be able to stop.

Sam rested her head on the back of her seat in Matt’s car and fell into the comfort the darkness was offering her.

************

A light from across the room made Thia blink twice before being able to open her eyes fully. A figure moved beside her and quickly held her hands.

“Oh, Sam I shouldn’t have said that ah if only I had known… forgive me honey!” the words were coming out of Ally’s mouth quickly and Thia pressed as hard as she could at that time on her hands.

“It’s not your fault Ally, anyway you didn’t mean it, what you said made me remember everything like a lightening. My head hurt a little but not much, that’s all.” She weakly assured the older woman who seemed really concerned.

“I just can’t reach Shane, if h-”

“No, no Ally, not now. Don’t try to reach him again, I mean he’ll come when he’s done,” she closed her eyes and sighed “I’m okay now, but can I ask you something?”

“What is it Sam?” Ally asked a little puzzled.

“Can you take me home? I just want to rest there,” Thia looked at the older woman and saw the word “impossible” in her eyes “please Ally, take me home!”

“But, shouldn’t you wait for Shane. I’m sure he’ll be back anytime.”

‘God no, no I want out of here,’ she thought miserably “he can follow me home Ally, but right now I want to go.” The words came out strongly, completely opposite to how she felt.

“Fine Sam, if that’s what you want I’ll take you. But are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes Ally and I’ll be better when I go home and rest.” Thia felt like she was about to jump out of bed and run home ‘Home? Oh which home? My grandma Kathy’s? That’s my old house, but Shane can easily find me there and the last thing I want now is to see him. No, I have to go back to L.A.’ she thought as she got up and walked to the bathroom of the guest’s room ‘but how? How?’ she asked herself as she washed her face with cold water ‘I’ll rent a car, yes. I’ll go back to Kathy’s an-’ Thia paused as she thought of Kathy ‘oh Kathy, oh God why did you leave me alone? If onl-’

A knock on the door made her turn around. Ally came inside the room “Are you ready?”

Thia looked at her reflection in the mirror of the bathroom and saw what seemed like a ghost, but she didn’t care, all she wanted right now was to get out before Shane came home “Yes I’m ready!”

She moved quickly and few minutes later she was in Ally’s car on their way to Kathy’s house.

“I don’t know Sam, I don’t think leaving you alone is a good idea.” Ally glanced at the side of Thia’s face.

“I’ll be fine Ally, believe me.”

“But honey, do you remember everything now?”

“Oh Ally yes, but please I don’t want to talk right now.” Thia whispered knowing that talking about it was not a good idea, especially with Ally.

“Okay Sam as you like, but promise me you’ll call me if you felt tired?” she asked as she stopped her car in front of the old house. She turned to look at Sam and saw a tear fall across her face.

“She left me, Kathy died Ally!” Thia said with her eyes filled with tears, looking up at the house she grew up in.

“Honey I’m sorry, she loved you so much. We all lov-”

“I know, and I’m sorry you had to go through all of this because of me, I’ve to go now,” Thia wiped the tears off her face and opened the door “thank you Ally, I appreciate it really.”

The older woman sighed heavily before answering “promise you’ll call if something’s wrong?”

“Yes, goodbye.”

“Bye Sam” Ally answered and took off.

“Okay Thia, you have to move quickly if you want to be in L.A. tonight.” She ordered herself firmly as she opened the door “I’m happy he gave me one of the keys today,” she thought as she got inside the house and quickly up to her room.

She put everything she needed in a bag after calling a cab “I won’t be needing a lot of things; I have to get out of here.”

Fifteen minutes later the cab arrived and Thia closed the door behind her, putting the key on the floor, she knew Shane had another one and she had already left him a note inside that said:

Dear Shane,
Remembering everything was hard
for me and I couldn’t stay. Please don’t
come after me.
Thia

She found it hard to write these words but she had to. She promised herself she wasn’t going to think about anything till she got home, to Ann’s apartment and she was going to keep her promise, for once.

Thia asked the driver to take her to a company she knew when she was young that rented cars and there she rented a small car and was on the road only an hour and a half after she had had her memory back.

Driving for over than six hours made her feel very exhausted, she felt pain all over her body, from inside and outside.

She parked in the street and picked up the small bag she had thrown on the back seat. She moved slowly and weakly to the building and up to the apartment. Thia rang the bell and waited till she heard Ann call from inside.

“Coming,” Ann said and then there was silence “who is it?” she asked from behind the door and Thia knew it was almost midnight.

“It’s me Ann,” she said as she lifted her head when her friend opened the door quickly.

“Thia,” Ann stared at her for a while trying to find the right words but it seemed she couldn’t “ah-”

“I’ll tell you everything Ann, but not now. I need to sleep,” she walked past her and threw her bag in the middle of the hall.

“Where is Shane?” Ann asked apparently not able to stop the question.

“I think he’s home now. I don’t want to think about him Ann, I don’t.”

Ann stopped at the doorway of Thia’s room “Okay Thia sleep now and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Thia started taking off her clothes while answering “Yeah sure Ann, tomorrow.” Thankfully Ann left the room and Thia laid in her bed after turning off all the lights, ‘why did I remember? How I wish I’d forget everything again.” She thought as she closed her eyes and rested her aching body.

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