Only You Sweetheart

Charlotte opened her eyes, something had woken her up. What was it? Light was shining through the window; she’d slept all night, no disturbances. It was the first night in ages she hadn’t woken up in a cold sweat. She put it down to the horrendous actions of the day before, could you blame her for being exhausted?
“Morning Babe” he was leaning over her stomach, his hair all scruffy from lying down. It was him who had woken her up; he’d been cleaning her leg wound. Pretty much everything had heal to the point where they didn’t need to be bandaged anymore although they still were not fully repaired except for the ‘M’ on her thigh, that was taking longer. But even that would clear up eventually. He cleaned it up and was reapplying a new bandage. “Done” he smiled up at her before wrapping his arms tightly around her and nuzzling his face against her neck, making himself comfortable again on the bed. He was acting as if they were a happy couple, madly in love. So she’d messed up slightly yesterday, it didn’t mean he could just assume she loved him! Charlotte shook her head slightly; shaking off any thoughts of her letting him know she enjoyed him kissing her neck. She didn’t! He caught her off guard shuld uld have agreed to anything! That’s right, you keep telling yourself that Charlotte. Except * we* know differently, don’t we? She shook off her thoughts; it was like she had a devil and an angel on each of her shoulders, contradicting each other’s words. She did hate his every being, right? Shit, what was the matter with her, she must be sick in the head if she was even considering the fact that she kind of liked his presence.

“How are you feeling today darling?” she felt his lips move against her cheek.
“Fine” she mumbled quietly, he asks stupid questions.
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! Of course she wasn’t fine. God she could just punch him straight in the head.
“Will you let me kiss you?”
She laughed slightly, but not happily. “First time you’ve asked”
“I want you to enjoy it, like you did yesterday” she swallowed, a br exr expression across her face “I didn’t” Too late, turns out just because he asked her, didn’t mean he was waiting for an answer. Or perhaps he just didn’t want to hear the answer, knowing what it would be. His hands wrapped around her head and he planted a lingering kiss on her lips, lovingly. Charlotte tried to twist out of his grip but he was holding her too tightly.
“By the way, if you had waited for an answer. It would have been no!” she snarled at him through gritted teeth.
“What your saying and what your thinking are two very different things honey” he smiled back, he was never gonna let it go. Never.

…………………………………………………….

He came back into the room twenty minutes later, Charlotte had quickly thrown on some underwear and her hooded jumper, she reached for her jeans but he entered before she could put them on. She scrambled back onto the bed and watched at his distaste of her being nearly fully clothed again. After ahe whe was only in boxers, it hardly seemed fair. He sat beside her and put the tray of food in-between them. Toast, orange juice and whipped cr
“Y
“You eat toast and cream together?” she looked at the food oddly.
He laughed ttlettle, his hand caressing her soft hair. “The creams for afterwards”
Charlotte could have kicked herself; she fell straight into that one. Maybe if she ate really really slowly ‘afterwards’ would never ever come. Except it would, Charlotte felt the familiar fear inducing thump in her stomach.

She ate and drank as slowly as was humanly possible, he obviously caught on.
“You can’t put it off forever darling”
“Cant we just do something else?”
“And put off the inevitablo. Wo. We’ll do something *after* though”
“But I …”
“Don’t try and avoid it babe, I don’t want to have to get angry at you all the time”
“Then don’t”
“You don’t make it easy, all I want to do is treasure you, make you feel special but you make it so hard. I know we’re not a normal married couple but I want to be able to gush about you to every person I meet but I cant do that because I cant tell anyone I know where you are because then they’ll take you away from me”
“Yout wet well, I’m not patronising you or trying to make you look stupid, I don’t fancy getting another beating, but a normal person would not torture the person they love like you have me”
“I don’t mean to, it’s the only way I’ve ever known how to get someone to listen to me. Nobody’s ever given me a chance Charlie, nobodies ever listened to me, cared for me, looked at me as if I wasn’t scum, except you didn’t. You looked at me as if you truly liked me, just like I did you. Like I love you.”
“Its not my fault you’ve only come across scumbags your whole life, the whole world isn’t like that”
“I know, because there’s you”
“There’s also others”
“But I only want you”
“You haven’t looked properly”
“Trust me I have, I had to grow up quickly Charlotte, I may only be twenty but I’ve been through things most people don’t go through in a lifetime. You make me feel like it was all worth it; it’s the best feeling in the world being with you. Having you hate me is better then you not feeling anything towards me at all. Like I didn’t even exist.”
“I don’t hate you Matt, I’m scared of you, you terrify me but I don’t think I can hate someone that isn’t truly evil underneath it all.”
He stroked her cheek gently; if he were anyone else he’d have tears in his eyes right now. She jumped at his touch.
“It doesn’t mean I like you touching me” oh god don’t cry again.
“It does when you forget,” he whispered as he leant over and brushed his lips against hers “Just forget again, let me love you”
Charlotte closed her eyes “I can’t”
“Yes you can” his lipsed ted to her neck, a hand ran smoothly up her arm and cupped her face “Just forget”
Charlotte moaned slightly, she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it. She screamed at herself inside her head, his tongue brushed against her skin. It felt soft and warm. Nice even. She didn’t want to pull away. Oh god why didn’t she want to pull away?
He dipped one of her fingers in the cream and took it in his mouth, his tongue massaged her fingertip, determined to take every taste of the cream away. Her other finger had cream on to; he wiped her hand against his chest, leaving a trail of cream in its path. “Taste it”
“No I don’t want to”
“Its alright, you need to get used me. All of me, just taste it” his hand slowly went to the back of her head. “No, I.” his hand pushed slightly harder, it was a small warning. Not hard enough to hurt at all though.
“Why do I have to…” she looked at him sadly. He wanted to hug her again.
“Because until you listen to me I have to make all your decisions, do it”
Why was he making her, he’d made progress. She was warming to him and now he was making her lick cream off of him. He couldn’t help himself though, her fingers in his mouth, the taste of his lips he needed to feel her again. Show her he loved her instead of telling her, she wasn’t answering properly. Hardly at all. He wished she would just talk to her.
Charlotte’s head moved towards his chest and he felt her soft tongue lick at the cream, he groaned slightly at the feel her pf her mouth against his skin. It felt so good. His hand ran softly along her smooth bare leg, rubbing it gently as she continued to lick at the cream. She just wanted to get it over with, the quicker she ate it, the quicker it would be over. She dipped out her tongue again, further then before feeling his skin against it. A shrill pf excitement burst through quickly replaced with disgust. Disgust for herself, she couldn’t do this. She pushed him away from her and dived off of the bed. She ran quickly, she wouldn’t make it outside. Not again. She dived for the first thing she saw, the bathroom. She dived in and locked the door. He hadn’t removed the lock from this one. More fool him.

“Open the door” he banged on it loudly “You cant stay in there forever Charlotte!”
“Please leave me alone”
“Open the door, we can talk open the door”
“No, you manipulate everything you say. When you talk you make me feel …”
“I’d never manipulate you Charlotte, everything I say is true”
“I know but I …”
“oesnoesn’t matter what you feel, you don’t have to be ashamed in front of me, I want you to feel it”
“You don’t know how I feel!”
“I can guess, just come out and we can talk some more”
“But then you’ll make me …make me…”
“Come out of there Charlotte.”
No answer.
“Charlotte?”
Still no answer.
What was she doing? He couldn’t here anything.
Charlotte fingered at the small window to high up to squeeze out of anyway, she filled the sink up with water and cupped some in her hand, pouring it over her face. Think Charlotte, think.
“Charlotte answer me!”
Don’t answer him Charlotte, your not coming out. That’s that.
It didn’t matter, three loud bangs and he had knocked the door down anyway, his face was angry. Very angry.
“You didn’t answer, you could have been … you didn’t answer!”
“I’m sorry ... I …”
He looked at the sink “What were you doing?”
“Nothing, I was just hot, I needed to cool down.”
He grabbed her head “Well since its there”
“No, Matt, I said I’m sorry …”
“You should know that never works.”
Charlotte couldn’t answer; her head was under water before she had a chance. His hand firmly held her head and body down, no amount of thrashing was going to let her loose. She couldn’t breathe, she needed air!!!

…………………..

He brought her head back to the surface, she took a deep breath, Air had never felt so good. “You ready to make it up to me? Nobody ever fucking thinks about how they’re hurting me, are you fucking ready?”
He was hurt Charlotte knew that. Very hurt. Why did she feel bad? He was practically drowning her! Why did she feel sorry for him, why did she want to make him feel better!!! “Matt I …”
He growled through his teeth and ducked her head back under water. This time she wasn’t, ready, she didn’t take a breath and she soon ran out a lot quicker this time. Would he kill her? Was he angry enough?
He brought her head back up again and she gasped for air. “Are you ready Charlotte?” he was desperate. He was winning her around, he was so close and then she ruined it. She couldn’t bring herself to fall under his spell; he knew she was fighting against her won feelings. Disgusted with herself. She was fighting herself more then she was fighting him. He turned her around suddenly, unable to control himself anymore. She looked shock, her face was soaked and she was breathing heavily. He grabbed her face and forced a kiss on her, grabbing at her tightly, except she felt weak in his hands. Still he was waiting for a fight. Except it didn’t come, something totally different happened. She was kissing him back.